A/N: Okay so... kind of a NOTE before reading. Alright the next two chapters are kind of a repeat of the previous two in that KIND of the same thing occurs, but i did this for a reason. I did it this way so that on one hand you could kind of get an idea for the repetativeness of Near's days and second so that it wouldn't feel slightly rushed. So... anyway... that's the note. Now please do read!

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, or any of the characters, or any of the places. Hell, I'm not even sure if I can own the dates anymore! Anyway, don't sue me!

Chapter 3: Relief

It was only a few days later that once again life began to repeat itself; I was called by Roger to meet Watari in order to go and see L for another 'meeting'.

As I went to meet him, and even during the entirety of the drive to the new hotel that I knew L would be staying at I tried to force myself further away from the outside world.

I tried to make myself even more unemotional, and numb, to the rest of the world. My hope was that by lacking the ability to feel anything around me it would somehow quell the pain that awaited me in the new hotel room.

It was the beginning of December now; snow fell around the city, coating it in a blanket of soft white.

I used to love the winter time. The look of snow falling all around the orphanage and the city that had become our only world always had an odd calming effect on me.

Snow is the same thing as rain, I understand that, it's simply frozen rain; but in a way, when one doesn't look at it so scientifically the two become very different from the other.

Rain is more violent when it falls, and people don't tend to stay around to feel it fall on them; many times it is accompanied by the frightening sounds of thunder. But snow, its silent and calm the majority of the time. And what's even better is that it only comes once a year, which somehow makes people appreciate it more. (1)

I used to love the snow too.

But because of the recent events I'm not sure I'm even capable of loving anything; even something as simple as the falling snow.

We finally reached the new hotel that was just as fancy as the last one had been and just like every other time Watari led me all the way up to the high floor where L's room was.

-

Then after entering in and announcing that he'd brought me as asked, Watari left my side and I was again alone with my idol.

The silence between us was deafening. There was something on L's mind; I could tell just by the tense silence in the room and the way he hadn't said anything to me at all, not even the simple question of, 'how are you' like normal.

I waited patiently, letting my eyes divert away and the fingers of my right hand come up to twirl a lock of my white hair. Better to get my need for the action out now, I figured, rather than later when my hair, fingers, and the rest of my body is coated in another veil of disgust strong enough that leaves even me wishing I wasn't in my own skin.

Continuing our silence L finally stood up and led me through the hotel room to the bedroom where he proceeded to shut the door. Like the rest of the area none of the lights were on, but unlike the last hotel his laptop rested on the dresser. The screen was black but the blinking buttons showed that it was just on standby.

"Near," he finally said in a monotone voice after moving to sit on the bed, "please come here."

I moved closer to him and sat down beside him, my fingers inconspicuously fidgeted with the white cloth of my button-down pajama top. Being in such close proximity without him touching me, or even looking at me, put me on end.

I suddenly feared what he could possibly have in mind today.

"It's interesting," he said, "I've gotten the chance to look over your file the last couple of days and do you have any idea what I found?"

I shook my head as he moved me, like his own personal doll, till he had me lying on the bed as anyone would do when they lay down for the night. But my eyes followed him as he moved to straddle my hips; his eyes locked with mine.

"I found that you're still the number one candidate to become my successor." He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine; there was an odd gentleness in his actions.

But this wasn't like him, there had to be something more to it. But even so I stayed quiet in order to let him continue.

"But there was something more." Again his lips pressed to mine. Then just as quickly his lips pulled away from mine but he stayed close to my face; his eyes stared into my own and in a way it felt as though he was staring right though.

Then suddenly, before I had time to register it was happening he drew back and slapped me hard across the face, "you've been lying to me." He spat spitefully. "Your scores show an overall decrease. It's nothing dramatic but your scores have been falling one point at a time."

No! That's not true, that can't be true, there's no way! I've been dealing with these 'meetings' lately on top of all of the academics that have been forced on me. I was still scoring higher than everyone else; overall I thought I was doing well considering what I've been living with.

How had I unconsciously let myself fall? How had I let myself fail in the one thing I was best at?

When he struck me again it was enough to bring me out of my questions and disbelief. "You told me you wanted to be my successor, Near. But from what I'm seeing in no time at all Mello's going to end up passing you."

"No." I just barely said.

His hand fisted into my hair and pulled violently as he came down on me again, his face close to mine, "no what?"

"He won't."

"You're the one who's grades have steadily been slipping, you have no room to say whether he will or not. If you continue this way he will, given enough time." I tried to block out his words but I knew they were true, which increased my inability to keep them from seeping into my mind.

"Is that what you want, Near," he asked me, now directly at my ear, "do you want to be second? And be a failure?"

"No."

"I don't believe you."

I wanted to tell him how serious I was, that I wouldn't allow myself to fall in the only strong point I had left, but my fear of what he would say and do made me hold my tongue.

"And even if it is true," he continued, "you're still going to have to be punished for letting yourself fall in the first place."

"No!" I tried, "I'm sorry, please." My eyes squeezed closed, it was so humiliating to have to try and beg for forgiveness.

"You brought this upon yourself." I felt him pull back from me and I let my eyes open just enough to be able to watch as he fumbled in his back pocket before coming up with what he had been searching for.

A pair of handcuffs. (A/N: Handcuff fetish? Haha!)

A few more pleas for him to reconsider this punishment tumbled from my lips but I didn't fight him as much as I could, I knew he could overpower me no matter how much I fought and in the end it would only make matters worse for me.

He handcuffed both of my wrists around one of the close by wooden bedposts, so they were high above my head; I could feel the pain from the odd position in my arms already.

L, after satisfied that I was secured, once again leaned down to me and kissed me, this time it was more violent. His tongue ravaged my mouth, and biting at my lip till I could taste my own blood.

He moved down to my neck, as his fingers bypassed my shirt completely and went straight to my waistline. "N-no." I tried to say without thinking it through.

L's teeth bit down hard on the skin at my neck, drawing out a cry of pain from me. Obviously enjoying my reaction he once again bit harder on the flesh, but this time I bit my already bleeding lip to hold it back so as not to give him the satisfaction of knowing he was bringing so much pain onto me already.

His fingers caught my attention once again as they slid down my pants and boxers in one movement. Tears filled my closed eyes that threatened to fall without my approval.

He was already so rough; I didn't want to think about what was going to come next.

But he suddenly pulled back from me and began working on his own pants; I could only watch as they were lowered and a wave of nausea filled me yet somehow I held back the urge to vomit.

He crawled up closer to me and fisted his hands in my hair again; hard enough that I swore he'd ripped some out. "Open." He ordered.

I could do nothing but comply, feeling the him insert himself into my mouth; the thought of vomiting once again presented itself to me and I had to fight off every urge to give in to it.

He thrust harder into my mouth, nearly chocking me as he did. I could feel him only getting harder as he did it and I suddenly had the hopes that he would come in my mouth and that would be the end of it.

But my hopes were suddenly shot down when he suddenly ripped himself from me and moved down to my entrance.

Realization struck me like running into a brick and my eyes widened; the tears in my eyes began to flow. "L… N-no, please." I begged.

"I told you, this is punishment." He said. And before I could say anything more or even try and prepare myself he suddenly forced himself into me.

A loud scream of pain erupted from my lips and my arms pulled at the metal cuffs till I felt it cut into my skin and it begin to bleed; where it hadn't begun bleeding I knew it'd be badly bruised. It always hurt so badly, every single time, but this was excruciating.

He paid no mind to my screams but continued his hard thrusts into me, his hands held my hips while his nearly nonexistent nails found a way to dig into my skin.

After what felt like a lifetime, the feeling of his seed spilling into me finally came and he stopped his actions, but never did he pull out of me. I wanted him to just leave, like he always did, so I could finally vomit somewhere and try to collect up my broken self.

But he wouldn't even grant me that sweet pleasure. His eyes continued to watch me, as though trying to send me some kind of message just with his gaze.

Just then a beeping came from L's laptop, followed by Watari's voice, "L I have a new case for you."

"Later, I'm busy."

"I think it'll really interest you this time. Fifty-two known deaths of criminals all around the world; all died of heart attacks with no other leads."

L was silent for a long moment; his features said he was contemplating his next action silently. Finally though he sighed, "alright, I'll take a look, please come and get Near and take him back to Wammy's House."

"Yes." Then the connection was cut.

He finally pulled out of me and redressed, only then undoing the cuffs that had bound my now cut up and bleeding wrists. He casually walked out of the room back to the living area to look over this new case.

I was relieved for more than one reason but I tried not to get my hopes up yet, he hadn't officially taken the case yet. He could still turn it down.

Even so I tried to pick myself up and redress despite the pain that consumed my entire body. All I wanted now was to return back to the orphanage, take a shower, bandage my wounds, and lay down. I wanted to fall away from the rest of the world; I wanted it to leave me behind in that one spot.

A/N: Ugh, kudos to those writers who can write rape stories. I figured when I made this idea that it would be like writing any other lemon, but no, for some reason these are so much harder to do. So, to those people who can do them, and do them well, you have my respect.

Oh, and if anyone hasn't figured it out yet, all of this happened around December 3rd, the latest date possible for L to have received information about the Kira Case without formally announcing his investigation.

1: Okay, so I'm definitely from the south, I've only ever seen snow once in my life. So no bashing about my snow description part! Give me a break I'm working with what I have here.

Please review!
-Forbiddensoul562