SO I was meanign to update the story but I didn't since I was busy doing other things. Sorry for the EXTREMELY late update!

"I…stole your Angry Birds swimming trunks."

Silence. Byakuya looked at the man standing before him quivering with fear.

"…Don't worry I never liked them anyway." He said slowly. "But don't tell Rukia!" Byakuya shaked his head, as he went into bankai mode. "Wait, you'll never be able to tell Rukia, right?"

And so….Ichigo…

….went on his knees and begged for forgiveness.

"Please, Kuchiki-taichou!" He whined. He called me Kuchiki-taichou, Byakuya noted in horror. The boy does have a sense of decency after all.

"Please don't do this! Think about your honor as a Shinigami. Killing your fellow Shinigami-in-arms will be cold murder! You will have blood on your hands!"

Byakuya's hands wobbled a bit. True, what this annoyance was saying was true, but wasn't it his job to exterminate those that were mistakes before they were born?

"Besides, you don't want Aizen to win right?" Ichigo said softly. He was looking at the ground and heaved a great sigh. "I mean, he did plan this too, you know?"

Byakuya's eyes narrowed, but it didn't disguise the sweat that had started to develop on his brow. "Aizen? He's imprisoned." Byakuya had never liked the man anyway, ever since he found his Tokyo Mew Mew and Mermaid Melody scrapbook.

Not when he broadcasted his "love" speech to that girl he liked as a child, claiming it was to Yoruichi.

Not when he made his oji-san decide that it was the time to teach him about Health. Indeed, Byakuya did not have any fond memories regarding the ingenious man.

"Whatever. Now that you're going to kill me, I guess no one will ever protect Karakura town the same way I did. Yamamoto will never have another Hollowfied sidekick running to his side when you guys get into trouble, and Rukia will die a widow. Like you."

That stung. Byakuya forced his sword under his chin, wanting to kill the pride-destroying mistake that had come to life. "I'm a widower! Now shut up and BAN—"

"Kuchiki-sama!" a random voice rang out from the opening of the cave. Ichigo sighed in relief. Whoever saved him deserved his thanks. Maybe he'll even be the guys bodyguard for a day.

Byakuya lowered his sword and turned towards the speaker. A small Shinigami of low rank shunpoed and bowed at his feet. "Kuchiki-sama!"

"Yes?" Byakuya asked emotionlessly.

"I am here to confess that Rukia-sama has wedded!"

Byakuya's eyes went wide. He turned to look at Ichigo, wondering if the boy had snuck away and eloped with his sister. He reminded himself that although this was possible, he obviously didn't leave his sight at all.

Ichigo on the other hand, did not take the news well.

"IMMA KILL THAT BASTARD!" he growled, reiatsu engulfing the cave. He growled, and got all white and Vasto Lordish.

One of his kensaiken broke. Byakuya was not amused. "Bankai," he muttered, and suddenly a flower show of piercing blades went towards Ichigo.

"OH HELL NO!" He screamed in his Hollow voice. Just when he was going to Getsuga Tenshou the pinkness, Byakuya's Senbonzakura managed to kill him.

A dead Ichigo fell to the ground.

"I had told you to calm your buttocks down peasant," Byakuya spit on the bloody mess with Michael Jackson hair. "She probably married someone of high standing. Unlike YOU ." He sang, wagging a finger like Shanaynay.

"Er…." The officer was at a loss. The Shinigami had not anticipated seeing one of the most famed Taichous kill one of the most famed Fullbrings. "Abarai-fukutaichou has married Abarai Rukia."

Byakuya was taken aback. No, not just aback. He was taken all the way back. "Never mind." He responded to the dead 15 strawberry.

Sheathing his sword, he shunpoed Kuchiki Manor. There, he located Rukia's reiatsu (he did live with her for over 50 years remember?) and went onto his private island.

Renji had not seen this one coming. In fact, he had just finished picking some fresh strawberry bunnies off the trees and was washing them in the water when he saw an angry Byakuya burst through the door.

"Hey Tai—"

The rest cannot be said. As pitiful as it is, the damage was so great not even Yamamoto would disclose the facts to anyone.

Byakuya had forced his sister to say she was unwillingly kidnapped by Renji and that Ichigo had done something to her. She had been bribed by him purchasing the Copyrights to the Chappy Fun-fun Inc.

Rukia was sent home, and is under surveillance all day long. No guy was permitted to come near her, and all that did was greatly injured by Senbonzakura. Even Aizen's son Lory was injured too. Not only that, but Byakuya had Unohana check on her all the time to make sure she was always on birth control pills and wasn't doing anything rowdy when he wasn't around.

"Hisana," the now hyperactive SHinigami exclaimed (he had gone to the Anti-Human-Peasant Party in DisHonor of Ichigo and Renji). "The Byakushies Wrath Plan worked! Now they are gone and I can have Rukia all to myself! We can skip on rainbows and puke up unicorns! I also started a new company called My Little Pony! We can now watch colorful ponies do human peasant things! Isn't life great?"

Meanwhile in Mayuri's lab...

"Hi-hi-hisana," he cried.

"Now, now, Kurostuchi-san, don't worry," the said person patted his back.

"BUT HE WAS SO DAMN SCARY!" Mayuri cried his face paint running down his face. "I never even got to tell him that I found you locked in his dungeons."

Hisana smiled. "Don't worry. Even though he's drunk right now he finally got to his senses. And I wonder what would happen if he found out Rukia's pills didn't work?"

Mayuri wipped away his tears. "By the way, why were you locked up in the Kuchiki dungeons?"

Hisana looked away. "Did you forget? My hubby's a looker-of-course he has thousands of fangirls jealous of me! Why else?"

Tell me, was it a good ending? If you wanna hate me for making Rukia end up with no one and Byakuya killing them both, well, I wanted to end it with Byakushie making Rukia forever alone. Honestly, I precieve Byakuya as that over protective, bad ass brother. And I would love to call him "nii-sama" and run around knowing he'll have his big pink sword to protect me from bad people like Aizen's son and father (who I insist on thinking to be the Greek Titan Kronos).

Again, not my best work. But I tried!

Anyway, if you have any requests in anything, please PM me and if you want something else to read, please read my current drabble, SoulShots.That story takes requests, which you can either PM or review about!

Love and Panda Custard,

Sabby-sama the Panda Warrior