Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. All credit goes to Kate Brian and Masashi Kishimoto

Sakura's Guide to the Hatake Boys

Chapter.2 Bathrooms, Bras and Boys

Sakura peeked outside her door curiously, looking around before fully stepping out into the hall. She really had to go to the bathroom. She thought she was going to wake up without having any problems only to realize she was actually having one right this second. She had started her monthly, and if any of the boys found out... Well, she was hoping they wouldn't find out period. (No pun intended.) That's why she was getting up extra early to take a deep cleaning shower and brought extra "care" products to keep herself safe from any problems.

As the rosette made her way towards the bathroom, (which the boys had thankfully showed her before they had ultimately drenched her in water) she carefully placed her ear against the door, making sure that there was no one behind it. She sighed in relief when she opened the door and saw nothing but darkness. She shut the door and then flipped the switch, nearly falling over at how terrible she looked in the mirror. She was really a rough sleeper; her hair was all over the place and her face looked blotchy, not to mention she looked incredibly fat!

She sighed, slapped her cheeks a little to wake up and then proceeded to take off her shirt. She was so happy for waking up extra early so she could have the shower all to herself. She did a little jig as she took off her shirt, and singing a little song just because she was so proud of herself. After not so gently tossing her shirt somewhere on the ground she went to take off her boy-shorts, her hands pulling at the edges. As she started to pull them down she heard the worst thing of her life... The door open.

"Oh... It's you." Sasuke said blankly, looking straight at her. Not a sign of emotion on his face.

Sakura held in her scream as she stared wide-eyed at the unflinching god standing before her in all his glory, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers. She practically fell over herself as she scrambled to cover herself up with a towel, though it was becoming extremely difficult as her boy-shorts started to slowly fall down her thighs. Quickly she snatched her towel and covered herself before he had a chance to see anything. Gaining her brain back Sakura tossed the only reachable thing she could at the black haired boy. "Get out, you pervert!"

Sasuke effortlessly caught the object being thrown. Sakura twitched slightly at the smirk that started to grace the boy's features as he examined the item in his hands. "Extra-absorbency?"

`Oh, my god!`

Sakura gaped stupidly as her eyes zeroed in on her box of tampons. And true enough, they were being held in the palm of Sasuke's hand.

`My life is over.'

Sasuke went unfazed as he watched the girl before him melt in embarrassment. Finding enough amusement in this ordeal, Sasuke took it upon himself to be nice for once and leave the girl to her own sources. He set the box down and started to back out of the bathroom. Before he shut it though he poked half his body through the door. "Word of advice:" he said with a drawl. Sakura looked up at the boy with a bright blush. "When living with a bunch of teenage boys in one house, especially if you have to share a bathroom," He paused as his hand reached out to turn the lock on the door. "Make sure that you lock the door. The next time you might not make it out of here with what little dignity you have left." And with that, Sasuke shut the door.

Five minutes passed before Sakura gained the strength back in her body. That had to have been the worst experience of her life. How was she ever going to face Sasuke again, knowing that he had seen her in one of the most intimate ways ever?

`Why? Why of all people did it have to be that jerk? I'm never going to live this down.' She thought miserably as she buried her face in her hands. She was never going to be able to look Sasuke in the eye again, knowing he had seen her almost completely naked.

`Oh, geez girl. Snap out of it! It's not the end of the world. Did you see the way he reacted when he saw you?' Inner-Sakura said, getting annoyed with Sakura's constant babbling.

`What?' She thought stupidly, she hadn't really noticed anything. He only acted like he usually did; a snobbish jerk with a stick stuck up his butt!

`Exactly! There is something wrong with this picture here. Any other normal, hormonal, teenage boy would have jumped you right away. And if not that, they would have flipped a disk trying to run away. But Sasuke didn't! I mean come on, we're not bad looking, and we have a great figure. What boy wouldn't drop from seeing us?'

`Well...'

`Oh! I finally know what it is!'

`Know what?'

`Are you honestly this slow, or are you messing around?` Inner Sakura said as she paced around Sakura's head.

`Hey! I resent that!'

`Whatever, don't you get it? Sasuke's gay!'

Sakura blinked once and then again. After a moment or two of more thinking her mouth finally dropped open in shock. "Sasuke's gay?" She said in a whisper, feeling relieved and disappointed all at the same time.

`Yep, now you have nothing to worry about. He's not interested in your type of body, let alone your gender. That's why he didn't react. So just don't worry about it, and take that shower.' Inner-Sakura said excitedly.

And Sakura did exactly that. Twenty minutes later Sakura was all clean and dressed for her first day of school. Her hair was all dried and styled and her clothes were all in place. Not only that, she had completely forgotten the incident with Sasuke, finding it better to ignore what had happened than to dwell on it any further. She had full belief that he was gay and nothing was going to change her mind on that.

Squaring her shoulders, Sakura stepped out into the hallway only to be shoved into the door by a frantic looking Naruto. "God, could you be any slower? I've been out here for ten minutes!" He shouted as he slammed the door in her face.

"Ignore him. We all do," Shikamaru said as he walked up behind her, his voice sounding tired and his eyes looking droopy.

Sakura rubbed her shoulder and looked up at the male. "Sorry... I didn't think anyone would be up this early." She said, finally realizing that everyone was indeed awake. In the rooms she could hear music playing and drawers being opened and closed.

Shikamaru yawned and nodded his head. "Yep, seven of us with only one bathroom, you have to get up early if you want first dibs on the hot water. Looks like you got up before any of us though. Surprisingly we all have a fixed schedule. I'll fill you in on it a little later though seeing as I probably have to share the bathroom with Naruto now."

Sakura looked at him in confusion. Shikamaru seeing this decided to elaborate. "Sasuke's in the basement's bathroom, even locked the door." He said with a shrug, knocking on the bathroom door before walking in. Sakura tried to hide the blush as she saw shirtless Naruto brushing his teeth and fixing his hair all the same time. As it closed she stared at the door for a few moments before shaking her head and making her way towards her room.

"Heads up!"

Without much more warning Sakura fell to the floor, writhing in pain, her nose felt like it was on fire and she was sure she was going to have a black eye.

"Oh, crap! Sakura are you okay?" Neji exclaimed as he ran over to where Sakura was laying on the floor. "Kiba you idiot. How many times have we said not to play ball in the house?"

Kiba scoffed as he bent down to pick up his basketball. "Who are you, my mother?"

"No, he's not, but I am." Anko said as she stood looming over her son. "Kiba don't just stand there and act like a brat, I raised you better than that. Apologize to Sakura right now young man!" She ordered as she snatched the ball away from her son.

Sakura managed to stand up with the help of Neji who was holding her up with his arm. She felt like her head was going to explode and she could feel the the slow trickle of blood slide down her lip.

"Oh, my god Sakura! Your nose, here, come with me to my bathroom, I'll get you some tissues." Anko said as she started to lead Sakura down the hall towards her bedroom. She stopped and turned around slightly to glare at Kiba. "And don't think I'm through with you yet mister!"

Kiba just shrugged and made his way to his and Gaara's shared room, stopping when he heard his brother speak.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" Neji asked.

Kiba turned to give his brother a cocky grin. "The least I can do for letting her have my room."

Neji shook his head in disappointment. "You're unbelievable."

Sasuke was walking up the stairs when he saw his mother and Sakura running quickly down the hall. Sakura's face was pooling blood and he wondered if Kiba had anything to do with it. He passed by Neji's room and peeked in to ask what's going on.

His brother's reply was exactly what he had expected, Kiba did have something to do with it. "I know he's a little jerk, but I never thought he'd stoop so low." Sasuke said with a shake of his head.

Neji shook his head. "I expected it, it's just like him to do something like that. Saying it was because she took his room. Please."

Sasuke hummed under his breath and started to back away. "Whatever, not my problem." He said carelessly.

The brunette shook his head and continued to search through his closet for a shirt. "Seems like being uncaring is genetic. I'm the only normal one in this household." He said to himself.

Naruto walked by the room as he said this, his hand underneath his shirt as he scratched his stomach. "You say that while talking to yourself out loud? Hmm, I don't think you have a right to consider yourself normal here." He laughed as he walked away.

Neji just rolled his eyes and continued to get dressed.

"Guys! Breakfast!" Anko shouted from downstairs. "If you don't get your butts down here in the next five minutes, you're all going to be late!"

`Deep breath,` Sakura thought. She grabbed the wooden chair from in front of her desk and jabbed it under the doorknob as she had seen done so many times in the movies. Dropping to her knees, she opened her large suitcase. She picked up her favorite white t-shirt and a black hoodie and a pair of jeans. The first outfit she had picked out earlier was ruined from her nose bleed. Did Kakashi and Anko know that their kids were criminally insane?

`Just breathe.` Sakura told herself again. She got dressed quickly. It took a bit more makeup than she hoped to fix the mess Kiba had created. Suddenly she couldn't wait to get to school. It had to be a heck of a lot better than this place. How had she ever thought that last night's peace and quiet was disturbing?

She opened her closet doors to get her sneakers and tripped back in surprise. There was some little kid standing right in front of her with one of her really expensive bras tied around his head, the cups sticking up like ears. If it wasn't her bra that he was wearing she would have thought that he was adorable. But that wasn't the case right now. No, she had a major problem. `Who the heck is this kid? And what the heck is he doing wearing my bra?`

"Ha ha ha! Scared ya!" His little tongue wagged as he laughed at her his hands waving in the air as he wiggled around her.

Sakura's heart was pounding. She made a grab for him, but he shot right past her before she could wrap her hands around his little neck.

"I got your bra-ah! I got your bra-ah!" He sang, dancing around in her room. He started jumping on her bed and she made a lunge for him but he bounced out of the way and off the bed in the span of seconds.

"Hey!" Sakura shouted, lunging again as he made his way to the door.

The little sucker was too quick. He dodged her fingers, yanked the chair down with a crash, and made a break for it. Sakura chased him to the stairs, but he straddled the banister and slid down it. His feet hit the ground before Sakura even made it to the second step. He turned, grinned at her, and headed to the kitchen.

"Wait! No, don't!" Sakura wailed as she started to dart for him as fast as she could. Curses for never taking gym! "You little- Get back here!"

Down in the kitchen she could hear everyone talking and laughing as they chowed down. Sakura barreled through the living room and rounded the corner into the hallway just as he was about to push through the swinging door. "Stop!" She shouted and tried to get to him before he went through.

Just then Itachi appeared out of nowhere. He grabbed the little guy by the waist with one arm and hauled him up over his shoulder.

"Itachi-nii let me go!" He shouted as he tried to wiggle out of the elder's grasp. Itachi snapped the bra from the boys head and handed it to Sakura, completely unfazed. It was like the bathroom incident with Sasuke all over again

`Geez, are all these Hatake's gay? Maybe being unemotional is genetic... Hey, maybe Sasuke's not gay!'

Sakura just stood where she was. Not even able to think further on what her inner was blabbering about. She had no idea what to say or do, was she going to be humiliated every second in this house? Things were happening one right after the other. If she was anyone else she'd probably be bawling her eyes out right about now with the morning she's had so far.

"Um. . . this is Konohamaru. He's the neighbors' kid. He's about four years old," Itachi said. "Mom watches him in the mornings, then takes him to Pre-K. There's no controlling this one." That had to have been the most he's spoken since she's met him.

"Yeah. . .thank you," Sakura said, stuffing her bra into her jacket. "If he had gotten in there. . ."

Itachi stared at her with a piercing gaze. Now that she thought about it he looked a lot like Sasuke and Neji. Except Neji had brown hair and his eyes were white.

`I come to realize that this family looks nothing alike. Where in the world did their genetics come up with these gorgeous, yet annoying guys?'

Itachi's hair was down with his bangs covering a bit of his eyes, but if she looked hard enough, she could see a bit of red in them. He had a red cloud-like tattoo planted on his neck slightly hidden by his hair, but Sakura could see it perfectly. She couldn't deny that was really hot. He was handsome in a rugged, dangerous kind of way, but there was something about him that was off-putting. Maybe it was the appraised and almost quizzical way he was staring at her. Like he wasn't quite sure what she was.

"Yeah, well," he said. Then he turned and walked back down a short hallway. Sakura watched as he opened the door that led to the garage. The acrid smell of cigarette smoke hit her nostrils as she caught a glimpse of a few guys and a girl lounging on an old set of living room furniture. They were all wearing black with little red clouds on the front and back of there shirts. There was a drum set also a red cloud, and black lettering that said `Akatsuki' in the center of the garage, surrounded by amps and microphones.

She leaned back and took another deep breath. Apparently Itachi was in a band, and they were called the Akatsuki.

To: WinONdFlyuwho

From: _2341uwho

Subject: Boy Guide.

Observation #1: Boys are EVIL!
They take no consideration of other peoples feelings. Not even an hour after meeting them, they drench me with a bucket full of water hanging from the door!

Observation #2: They aren't squeamish at the sight of skin.
You can't say this to anyone, but Sasuke walked in on me undressing in the bathroom! And he just stood there with a blank face! What kind of man does that?

Observation #3: They tend to hold grudges.
I was smacked in the face by a basketball because Kiba was mad that he had to share a room with his brother 'cause I am taking his. I now have a black eye thanks to that little troll.

Observation #4: They have horrible table manners.
Last nights dinner was absolutely barf-inducing.

Observation #5:The older ones are so cute with the younger ones.
Okay I'll admit, even if he is a thorn in my side (or the bane of my existence, either works), there is this little kid from across the street and you should see how they act around him. It's so cute~ :D

Observation #6: They like to scratch things.
No elaboration needed.

Observation #7: They have no sense of personal space.
I need a lock on my door. STAT!

Observation #8: Boys are icky.
Do not get me started on the state of the bathroom. I'm thinking of calling in a hazmat team. Seriously.

Observation #9: Being unemotional and stoic is definitely genetic.
You should see these guys; they are like statues with hot bodies. They don't show any form of facial expression.

Observation #10: They know how to make enemies. . .
BIG TIME.

"Yo, Alien, pass the rice!"

"What the..? Alright, who drank all the green tea?"

"Coffee's ready! Who wants?"

Sakura walked into the kitchen, noted the mayhem at the breakfast table, and decided it would be safer to join Anko at the center island, where the coffee was brewing. `Need. Coffee. Now.`

"Good morning, Sakura!" Anko said brightly. She glanced at Sakura's outfit; plain tee and regular faded jeans with a black hoodie-and her smile became slightly strained. "You look…comfortable?" She winced slightly as she remembered all the blood on Sakura's previous shirt. She really had to think up a severe punishment for her young son, Kiba. He really was too much. "I already talked to the principle today about getting you a school uniform. She's already getting it taken care of."

"Very, and thanks." Sakura replied. "Mind if I have some?" She gestured to the coffee.

"Please! Feel free," Anko replied. "This is your house now."

`Actually, I think this house belongs to those crazies at the table.` Sakura thought with a narrowed gaze.

`Chyea, have you seen that evil little mutt Kiba? He's taunting me! I can feel it. He threw that stupid ball at us on purpose!` Inner Sakura said as she clenched her jaw and pounded her fist against her palm.

`Woah there, calm down you drama queen!' Sakura thought, reaching for the pot. She couldn't believe that after everything the Hatake boys and Konohamaru had done to her that morning, they were all just crunching away at their rice and seaweed rolls, totally guilt-free. They didn't even seem worried that she would tell. Maybe they knew that she wasn't going to rat them out.

"Listen, Anko... did I really take Kiba's room?" Sakura asked, lowering her voice.

"Why? Is he torturing you about it?" Anko asked curiously, her body now fully facing Sakura.

"No, it's just. . .I don't want to put anybody out."

"Please don't give it another thought," Anko said, touching Sakura's hand, She leaned in closer and whispered. "Between you and me, Kiba needed to be knocked down a peg."

Sakura smiled awkwardly and filled her mug with coffee and took a long swig of it, reveling in the taste. At that moment, Gaara walked in and stood next to his mother reaching for a mug for his own cup of coffee.

"Hey Gaara, how are you this morning?" Anko asked. The red head shrugged his shoulders and poured some cream and an excessive amount of sugar into his coffee. Sakura wondered how he wasn't bouncing if he actually put that much sugar in his coffee on a daily basis. Anko sighed and ran a hand through her youngest son's hair and made her way to the table and sat across from her husband.

Kiba seemed to grumble something in Gaara's direction that sounded a lot like "Baby," but if Gaara had heard, he made no sign of acknowledgement.

Sakura shook her head and turned her attention to Gaara. "Morning Gaara," she smiled at him warmly. "You sleep well?" She asked conversationally.

Gaara just stared at her in boredom. "I don't sleep." Was all he said as he made his way to the table. Everyone had gotten quieter than usual. It seemed to Sakura that she had walked into some sensitive territory and didn't really push the subject any further than that... Well, for now that is. She got the feeling Naruto or Anko would tell her eventually.

"Okay..."

Anko cleared her throat and looked at Sakura. "So, Sakura I heard you were taking medical courses at the school. The professor is Naruto's godmother. She's a tough cookie, but she'll keep you on your toes. I'm sure you'll do real well with her as your sensei."

The rosette nodded appreciatively. "Thank you."

"What courses are you taking in the medical field?" Kakashi asked curiously, finally taking the time to look away from his book. He was actually really intrigued with this new found information.

Sakura blushed at the sudden attention she was getting. "Uh," she said lamely as she scratched the back of her head. "Basically psychology and neurology."

Anko looked about ready to fall off her seat she looked so giddy. "So you're interested in the brain?"

"I guess you could say that. The way the mind and the nervous system work is just fascinating. At my old school my professor let me council the students that were dealing with problems." She told them with a proud smile.

Kakashi nodded his head thoughtfully. "What sort of problems are we talking about?"

Sakura tapped her chin to try and remember exactly all she dealt with. "Hmm, well, there was all sorts of cases. Some kids who had trouble at home, issues with insomnia and depression. Some students who went through abuse in many types of ways came to me and I would just listen. Sometimes just hearing people out is way better than trying to tell them how to get better."

Everyone stared at Sakura in amazement. She blushed at the sudden notice of stares. "It really wasn't much. Only a selected few who were noticeably having trouble would come to me by order of the school professors."

"Don't be so modest Sakura. What you do is highly recommendable, not many kids these days have set goals as much as you do." Anko said with a smile. "You should be proud of your talent."

Once again Sakura blushed in embarrassment with all the attention. Kiba snorted and crossed his arms back around his head. "Hey, maybe you can fix brain-drain over here then." He said, motioning to Gaara who wasn't really paying attention. He was probably already used to Kiba's onslaught of abuse from his twin brother.

Anko glared at her dog loving son. "Kiba, one more word out of you and you're grounded. I mean it."

Kiba just rolled his eyes and stood up from the table. "Whatever, I'm out of here, my friends are probably waiting for me outside." He said, as he made his way to the side door that lead outside. "Oh, yeah, if you find any of my "special" magazines laying around anywhere just let me know." He said, sending a wink and a wolfish grin in Sakura's direction.

"Kiba!" Anko's shout could be heard all throughout the neighborhood.

A/N: Hi, wow, finally got this over with. Sorry it took so long. I don't really have a computer anymore so I'm having to use my Cousin's. Hope you like the new version. And sorry it's taking so long to finish everything. I can't believe I'm still stuck on this series. Well, hopefully I'll finish it soon. Thanks! Review please!

Jung-Hee!