Chapter 3: Confiding in Cloud Dancing-The letter

Sully had been riding for an hour with no particular place to go. He knew his abrupt departure had hurt his wife, but he just wasn't ready. Why did she have to choose that moment to put that particular night thing on? Ordinarily he would have wasted no time divesting her of that particular article of clothing. She was looking so innocent yet so sexy.

Yeah right! Innocent? He wasn't seeing her as so innocent at the moment. The shock and the pain he had felt when he first entered the homestead had magnified into a simmering anger when he saw her. How could she tease me like that? How could she be so cruel?

His subconscious kept trying to creep through, telling him he was over-reacting, but the anguish he was feeling refused to be tamed. With a sudden thought, he turned the horse and headed to the one person he knew he could count on for guidance.

Cloud Dancing.

OOO

After arriving on Daniel's land, Sully stopped and took in his surroundings. This used to be the place he came to visit his Indian family. This was where the Indians once roamed, free to hunt as they pleased, a place where they had been free to practice their religion. Sully had found peace here after Abigail and Hanna died.

The land was now pretty much deserted, except that Cloud Dancing, the only Indian within a 3 days' ride, still resided here. Thanks to Daniel's generosity, Cloud Dancing had erected a teepee and was doing his best to keep the spirit of his people alive.

Daniel. Sully shook his head just thinking of the name. Another man who wants my wife. He quickly pushed that thought out of his mind. Daniel had done nothing recently to cause Sully any concern. The writer of that letter however…

Taking a heavy breath, Sully urged his horse on.

OOO

Cloud Dancing was deep in meditation when he heard the sounds of an approaching horse. The spirits had told him his brother would be visiting, so he did not need to open his eyes to see who was drawing near. But the vision was confusing. It wasn't to be a pleasant visit.

Sully hesitated only slightly before sliding off the horse and walking to where his friend sat. He had briefly re-considered his decision to burden Cloud Dancing with his woes. They were so insignificant compared to what his brother had gone through the last few years.

But he needed guidance. Needed re-assurance. Badly.

No words were spoken at first. Sully sat down aside Cloud Dancing and stared into space until his friend opened his eyes and spoke. "Your soul is troubled, my brother."

Sully was surprised, to say the least. "How did you know?" Cloud Dancing merely nodded, encouraging the troubled man to say what was hurting him so.

Making a quick decision, Sully stood and pulled the offending sheets of paper from the waistband of his buckskins. Slowly sitting back down, he frowned at the reminder of his torment and briefly considered if it was fair to Michaela to bring another person into their problems. But he had to speak to someone. He needed someone to either vindicate his feelings or eradicate them.

Cloud Dancing could see his friend's indecisiveness and gently pulled the letter from Sully's hands. "This is what has brought you here?"

Sully merely nodded, afraid to speak.

"What is it?" Sully realized an honorable man such as Cloud Dancing was not going to read someone else's letter unless encouraged to do so.

"Please just look at it."

Carefully unfolding the sheets, Cloud Dancing read just the beginning. Sully searched his brother's eyes, looking for his reaction, but Cloud Dancing showed no emotion at all.

Turning to his friend he said, "You know that I speak English better than I can read it. But I am assuming by the greeting it is what you would call in your language, a love letter?"

Sully could barely catch his breath at hearing the words. He couldn't stop a lone tear from escaping as he slowly nodded.

Cloud Dancing knew he had to choose his words carefully, for Sully was so distraught. But what should I say? He chose to speak what was foremost on his mind. "I do not understand, Sully. This letter is dated long before your wedding. Why does it trouble you so?"

Sully felt as though he had just been punched. Did his best friend not understand? "She kept it!" He yelled. "All these years she kept it with her other so-called treasured memories! Why? And why didn't she tell me about it?"

Understanding began to dawn on Cloud Dancing. "She does not know you have found it?"

Lowering his voice to almost a whisper, Sully replied, "That's just it. How could she not know I would find it?" The single tear was now being accompanied by more. "Is she tryin' to tell me somethin'?"

Cloud Dancing knew Sully's imagination had taken off in many wrong directions. "Never, Sully. Dr. Mike loves you with her entire being. She would not hurt you so. Why do you think this?"

Pleading for understanding, Sully replied, "The stuff he says in the letter…"

"Tell me…" his friend encouraged.

Sully took a deep breath and tearfully read the part of the letter he found the most disturbing.

Sully began reading, 'My sweet, vulnerable, intelligent, caring Michaela...'

Sully looked up briefly and sarcastically exclaimed, "Could he choose any more adjectives? Is he tryin' to show off his big vocabulary or somethin'?"

When Cloud Dancing did not respond Sully continued reading aloud.

'I can understand why you have become so attached to Sully. He took great care of you from the moment you arrived off that stage...for which I am eternally grateful.'

"He was grateful! Like I was doing him a favor!" Sully exclaimed bitterly.

He looked back at the letter and struggled to continue read aloud. 'The west must be so exciting for you, being so different from the life you had in Boston. But my dear, you are accustomed to the finest things in life. You deserve a beautiful house with many rooms, not a rustic cabin. Operas and dances, not being chased by wild Indians or avoiding outlaws."

Sully paused again. "He's right, you know. She does deserve all those things. Things I can't give her," Sully tearfully explained.

Cloud Dancing still remained quiet as Sully continued to read.

'Don't get me wrong. Sully is a wonderful man and I have no doubt that he loves you, but he cannot give you the life you deserve. I just want you to know that I will always love you. When the excitement wears off I will be here waiting for you. I will love you forever.'

Sully's body began to shake with unshed tears and he could read no more.

Could Dancing shook his head at the audacity of the man writing this letter. Sully's words had become slurred as his emotions overcame him.

"What if the excitement has gotten to be too much? Is that why she kept this letter?" Sully cried.

"Sully, you must not think this! Dr. Mike would never betray you!"

At Cloud Dancing's exclamation, Sully quickly looked up and shook his head.

"No No! Of course not. I know she would never betray our marriage vows. But what if she..." Sully struggled to get his thoughts out.

"What if she has had regrets?" At his brother's helpless shrug, Cloud Dancing sought to comfort the heartbroken man, choosing his words carefully. "She would not have married you if she had any doubts."

"Our marriage hasn't exactly been stress free. I have put her through so much the last two years. So many times she needed me I wasn't there." Sully's voice hitched as he struggled to get his thoughts out, "Her life would have been so simple and carefree with him."

Again Cloud Dancing shook his head. "No, that does not make sense even if your fears are true, which I know they are not. This is an old letter."

Sully looked at the letter sadly and related what bothered him the most. "So why did she keep a love letter she received while we were courtin'?"

Cloud Dancing couldn't hide his surprise. "I only looked at the date quickly. You are sure you were courting?"

Sully nodded and showed Cloud Dancing the signature on the last page. "We started courtin' as soon as she came home from Boston. When her mother was so ill?"

Sully took a deep breath, not wanting to express to Cloud Dancing his greatest fear. I wasn't there so many times when she really needed me. When she lost her sister, when she lost our baby. During those times did she pull this letter out and take comfort in it?

Cloud Dancing couldn't answer the burning question as to why the letter still existed, but he knew Dr. Mike. He knew she had loved Sully before she even took that trip back to Boston. He also knew the writer of the letter had not met her prior to that fateful visit. His thoughts were interrupted by another horse approaching.

Sully jumped up when he saw Dorothy arriving on horseback. How selfish of him. Here he was burdening his friend and interrupting his love life.

Cloud Dancing stood, laying his hand on Sully's shoulder to still him.

Dorothy climbed down from the horse and greeted both men with a bright smile. "Sully, so good to see you! How is Michaela?"

Instead of answering Sully shoved the letter back into the waist band of his buckskins and headed for his horse. Cloud Dancing followed him and held the reins of the horse, looking into Sully's pain filled eyes. "Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"You need to go home."

Sully shook his head, grabbed the reins from Cloud Dancing, and raced off into the woods.

Dorothy wasn't sure what had just happened, but she didn't miss the look of anguish on Sully's face. Something was not right. Cloud Dancing walked back to her and gave her a light kiss.

"Why did Sully take off so fast? What happened? Is Michaela alright? The children?"

Cloud Dancing knew he couldn't betray a confidence, but maybe Dorothy could be some help. "I cannot tell you but you may want to visit Michaela. I think she may need a friend."

Dorothy didn't know what he meant by such a cryptic remark, but nodded and assured him she would visit Michaela in the morning. For now she wanted to spend time with Cloud Dancing. Surely whatever it is can wait till morning.

Not wanting to scare his beloved with the urgency he felt was needed, Cloud Dancing merely nodded. His thoughts went to a man he had never met, but was feeling animosity towards at the moment. William he thought to himself, I'd like to rip your heart out as your actions have done to my brother.