A/N: Next chapter is where I start deviating somewhat from what happened on the show. Is it coincidence that it's Spin - the episode where House first starts showing signs of Stacy obsession? (shrugs) Maybe. Dialog borrowed from episode 5 - Daddy's Boy . No infringement is intended, I'm just having fun with the would have's! Review! Grr.

He was avoiding her. Again. Something that wasn't unusual – but now it seemed like it was. She had fought to keep a smile off her face when she saw him pull up at lunchtime. Only House would appreciate the sublime ridiculousness of parking a motorcycle in a handicapped spot. The smile had twitched the corner of her mouth, and she had to stamp it down. He was late.

She scowled at him as he walked in, heading in his direction, intent on at least appearing to chastise him. He saw her approach however, and he moved surprisingly quickly given his limp. Graceful in his speed, he managed to almost sprint to the elevators, the doors closing just as she was exiting the clinic. She glared at his disappearing face, but he avoided her gaze, looking up as the doors slid shut.

That was fine – clearly he had reason to avoid her in that case. But it had been a day with his new patient, and he hadn't badgered her once. There were no surprise visits to her office yesterday, no complaints from staff or patients. Oddly enough, she had spent the day waiting for the tell tale slamming of her office door – and found that when it didn't happen – she missed it.

She had of course, been watching his patient. It was a habit of hers – a matter of safety, she told herself. If House had a patient, the nurses knew to hand her copies of the file. So she found herself lingering around the nurse's desk, laying in wait. She didn't find House, however – just Foreman. She stepped closer to him, glancing across the files she was currently going though.

"How's the patient?" She asked him point blank, not bothering with the usual niceties. He glanced over at her and shrugged.

"Haven't been in yet today." She snapped the file she was holding shut before responding to him.

'As long as he hasn't gotten any worse." She knew her tone was almost dangerously accusatory, but Foreman was here – House wasn't. She stepped away, walking quickly but knowing he would follow her to check up on Carnell. "We're treating him for pesticide poisoning without any proof it was pesticides. I'm going to have a hell of a time explaining that to our lawyer." She hated the bitterness that seeped into her tone at the mention of Stacy. She needed to calm down.

"I told House not to-" Foreman's voice was clearly defensive and she couldn't blame him. Any apology she was about to make however was forestalled by the sight of Carnell, shoveling food into his mouth like he had inherited House's table manners. She stopped short at the sight.

"Wow!" she observed for a moment as Foreman leaned across toward her.

"Lawyers not going to believe this." He was smug, when two seconds ago he had been trying desperately to shove all blame on House. She blinked, about to speak to him when the father spoke, thanking them for whatever they were doing. Foreman nodded, accepting the gratitude she knew House would avoid, before entering the room to check on the kid, giving her a significant glance as he did so.

She shook her head – and spied House turning the corner ahead of her quickly. Frowning, she gripped the file in her hand, hurrying to catch up to him. "House!"

He stopped, waiting for her to catch up – but she knew he would have run if he could have gotten away with it. She joined him, and they moved forward as she looked up at him. "Your patient seems to be doing better." She arched a brow at him, but he just kept looking forward.

"He's healthy so all is forgiven. Now I'm feeling nauseous." He glanced over his shoulder at her as he spoke and she flipped through Carnell's chart in disbelief.

"He is not healthy! Nausea and diarrhea were not his only symptoms." She glanced across at him, but he avoided her eyes as he strode quickly down the hall.

"Shocks have also decreased." He was trying to get rid of her she knew – but this was work and she was involved. He could avoid her as much as he wanted on his personal time – not hers.

"But not disappeared." She shot back, keeping pace with him easily.

"And he's out of the diaper, which is good news for everyone." He was deflecting again and she wanted to smack him.

"What about his low white count?" They were rounding the corner to his office now and he seemed to speed up, like he could actually out run her.

"The little buggers need time to grow." He entered the board room and she followed him into his office. "Don't worry, our wrestling Rastafarian will be back on his feet and sneaking around behind Pap's back in no time." She frowned, wondering at his issues with this kid, when the office phone started ringing. He picked it up quickly. "Yeah?" She glared at his lack of phone etiquette, but didn't speak, crossing her arms and listening instead.

"Check it again." He waited for a response and she watched intently. 'I'll be right there." He hung up quickly, moving past her to the door of his office.

"What happened?" She spoke quickly and he glanced over his shoulder at her as he walked.

"Apparently I can save money by switching to another long distance carrier." He was out the door and she followed more slowly this time.

"I was right wasn't I?" She asked before he could disappear and he glanced back at her wryly.

"Oh yeah, it's always about you, isn't it?" He was joking of course. She thought he was, but some long dead instinct warned her to let him go this time. She watched him turn the corner, wondering what in the hell had happened between last week and now. She had thought- they were getting closer. She had thought he had appreciated... after that phone call she had thought they were moving in the same direction. On the same page for the first time in years. Now she watched the traffic move through the hallway, wondering if they were even reading the same book.

Wilson was waiting when she entered her office, sitting nervously on the edge of her desk. She smiled fleetingly at him, walking behind her desk and sitting down. "Dr. Wilson, what can I do for you?"

"I, uh – Cameron is planning a dinner." He blurted out finally and she arched a brow at him.

"And? I don't usually socialize with Dr. Cameron. High school was a while ago for me." She muttered under her breath and he glanced at her quickly.

"House's parents are in town. The dinner is for them. You're invited." She blinked at him in silence for a moment. Did Cameron even know what in the hell she was doing? Did Wilson, for that matter? House avoided his parents. Always had, as long as she could remember.

"Are you stupid, Wilson?" She spoke seriously and he laughed nervously, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair.

"I- I don't know. I just – I need for him to grow up. Stop avoiding things-"

"That isn't about his parents- it's about your relationship with him. Do you think going about it this way is doing him any favors?" She knew this would end badly. Wilson nodded uncertainly and she bit back a sigh. She had thought he knew House better than this – but it was his mistake to make. "No. Don't think I can make it." She wouldn't help him, help them do this. Since when did Wilson and Cameron discuss these things anyway?

"Come on Cuddy. If it's just Cameron and I – it'll look like-"

"You planned it behind his back? You did!" She stared at him in frustration as he stared at her pleadingly. She sighed and shook her head. "I'm not one of your wives Wilson, you can't guilt me into this." He sighed, glancing away before standing up slowly.

"Fine." He sounded amazingly like a petulant child and she bit her lip to stop her smile. After he left, she sat back, her mind wandering. Maybe this was why... a part of her had wanted to accept Wilson's invitation. Out of spite, to watch him squirm. She had pushed the petty feeling aside though, opting not to let her own personal issues with House color her judgment. Sighing, she pushed the thoughts aside and pulled the pile of files on her desk closer. She hoped Wilson knew what he was doing.

She was coming back from clinic when she saw him, waiting in her inner office. It wasn't like him to wait. Ever. So she knew something was up. She glanced over at him as she entered the office, looking away with a smile. Opening her door, she didn't glance back to see if her was following. She knew he was. "What do you want?"

"To apologize." Her grin widened at that and she headed for her desk. She began to take off her lab coat with a stifled laugh. "My attention to the clinic has been somewhat lax of late and I want to make amends." He moved closer and she just barely was able to not laugh outright in his face. "How about tomorrow night, I take the night shift?" She smiled up at him as he spoke. Dinners needed to be avoided.

"The clinic's closed at night." She sifted through files as she spoke and avoided looking up at him.

"Yeah, but I'm sure there's plenty of things to be done, there's charts to be reviewed, supplies inventoried-"

"Dinners avoided?" She smiled across at him and he looked at her in disappointment.

"You're going too?" He sounded so sure of the fact that she bristled slightly. Of course he would assume she would want to go – she grabbed a file and sat down quickly.

"I love their cob salad." She didn't even know which restaurant they were going to, but let him think what he wanted. He'd find out soon enough how wrong he was about her.

He sighed heavily and looked across at her. "Give me a reason to get out of this and I'll tell you who started the rumor about you being a transsexual." She looked up in shock for a moment before glaring at him pointedly.

"There is no such rumor." She ground out, feeling her irritation with him rise exponentially by the second.

"There will be, unless you get me out of this dinner." He spoke seriously and she sighed in anger, leaning forward across her desk.

"No one's making you do this, House." She bit out tersely. "Just do what everyone else does, lie to them." He was a master at it, after all. He lied to patients on a regular basis.

"You lie to your mother?" He asked in disbelief and she rolled her eyes.

"Only since I was twelve!" It was probably earlier, she thought. She and her mother had never gotten along. Her mother had ideas for her Lisa, ones that didn't include college. Girls didn't need to be smart, they needed to be pretty.

"My Mom's a human polygraph." He sighed as he spoke, and she stood behind her desk. He turned toward the door reluctantly. "My dad should be taking her to Vegas, not the Louvre."

She followed him to the door. "Trust me, your Mom would much rather think you have a business meeting than you hate her." He paused at the door, looking at her intently for a moment.

"I don't hate her." He spoke softly and she paused, her steps faltering a little. "I hate him." He sounded sad and she stared at him thoughtfully as he left her office, a frown on her face. She felt an odd pang in her chest as she watched him leave, and she shook her head silently. She couldn't afford to let him get closer. She already had allowed him too much, and he had repaid her by pulling away. She couldn't be the only one in this.

She was late the next morning, something that almost never happened. She had worked late last night, which was usual – but instead of being exhausted when she arrived home, she had lain awake in bed, worried about House. It was like no matter where she went – she couldn't escape him.

Half of her time here last night had been spent on her computer as she stared at a dating website apprehensively. She needed something more than work – that much was obvious. A week or two ago she had thought that maybe she could find that something in House. But it was looking less and less likely as the days went by. She couldn't quite bring herself to actually submit a profile to the site though. Instead she had stared blankly at the screen wondering when the hell she had become that person? The one who needed help just to meet a guy, the one with no time to go out into the real world and find someone. She had finally closed the site without joining, plodding her way through the remaining paperwork with a sigh.

She hadn't set her alarm, and even though she had only over slept fifteen minutes, it was enough to make her feel like she was never going to catch up. After dropping her things off at her office, she ran out to the lobby to grab a paper – she might be able to read it over lunch – but by that time they'd all be gone. She was paying when Cameron strode up to her purposefully.

"Where's Stacy?" Cameron spoke swiftly and she frowned at her, taking her paper and heading back to her office.

"Uh, speaking at a conference in Baltimore – why what do you need?" She asked in confusion, wondering if this had anything to do with dinner. Lord if she was inviting Stacy-

"Can I subpoena a patient? House wants me to lie to the kid to get him here." Cameron sounded scandalized by the very thought and she had to bite back a smile.

"Well then you'll be the one getting a subpoena." She spoke quickly and Cameron listened intently.

"Well we do need him to diagnose his friend-" Cameron rushed to defend House and she wondered why exactly Cameron had come to her if she agreed with House.

"Take the test to the kid." She responded matter of factly, entering the clinic with Cameron trailing behind her.

"There is no test. House just wants to look at it."

She frowned listening to her, wondering if any of this made sense in Cameron's head, or if she just assumed she would understand. "Then – take House to 'it'." Cameron laughed slightly at the suggestion.

"Yeah, like that's going to happen." She paused by the door to her office, looking at Cameron for a moment. She smiled slightly at the younger woman as an idea entered her head.

"Tell House his parents called. Said they were coming in early. He'll go anywhere just to avoid them." She opened the door and Cameron held it there.

"So it's okay to lie to House but not to a patient?" She asked, hanging in the doorway.

"Yup." She smiled, not bothering to see Cameron's reaction before entering her office quickly, the door swinging shut behind her.

She had heard – after she let them know about the kid coming into Emerg – that House had once again pulled a diagnosis out of thin air seemingly, and saved both kids lives. She hadn't been shocked, but she had felt a strange sort of disconnect from the whole thing. Gone was her usual euphoria at this type of news – normally she felt at least a small part of the process. She had been absolutely superfluous this time around. He hadn't needed her for anything – and it left a strange sense of disquiet within her. It didn't help that the same disquiet seemed to be within him too.

He came to her office late that night, when the lights were low and the halls outside were in the middle of the midnight hush. He didn't throw open the door, he entered silently, not even looking at her before he sat on the sofa in her office, sinking down with a tired sigh.

"They're gone." He sounded relieved as he said it, but there was a tired quality to his voice that she recognized. She stared at him for a beat before rising to join him on the sofa. She recognized that look on his face – she had seen it on her own often enough. She didn't speak as she sat beside him, but her presence seemed to be enough. "We ate here. Sorry you missed the cob salad." His voice was soft and he glanced at her with a tiny smile. "Why did you let me think you were going?"

"I was annoyed." She spoke softly and he nodded in understanding. "Why are you still here?"

"I was - " He paused for a moment before shrugging. "Waiting." He didn't say what for and she didn't ask, knowing that there probably wasn't an easy answer. He glanced at her, staring silently before leaning toward her. "Paperwork?"

"No, not really. Just avoiding going home." She laughed slightly at that and shook her head. "Do you ever feel.." She trailed off and he turned to her with a serious expression.

"Feel what?" He was regarding her seriously and she shook her head slightly, wondering at his contemplative mood.

"I just feel like... lately – I don't know. Something is missing. All I have is work. There should be more." Her voice was a whisper in the room and he leaned closer to hear her. "I'm not even that good at what I do- and lately all I see is this giant hole in my life. It should be filled, with friends, family, a relationship – hell a dog-"

"Cuddy.." He was coddling her name again, drawing it out and speaking it in gentle tones that never seemed to quite make it into his actions. "You have-"

"I don't. I don't have friends, don't say I do. I have a job. That I do all day – all night-"

"Dogs are a pain in the ass anyway. So are friends, and family – well-" He laughed bitterly and she nodded in understanding. Family was best avoided. When you grow up in spite of your family instead of because of them – they were best as an abstract idea.

"I spent my whole life trying to never be what my mother wanted only to realize that what she wanted for me wasn't so awful. I hate irony." His hand was resting on the small of her back and she wondered when it had gotten there. It was warm – heat radiating through his fingers, through the thin material of her sweater and deep into her skin. "It's too late now." She smiled softly, wondering why she was telling him all of this – but as usual, he seemed to be the only one she could tell.

He nodded in silent agreement, not speaking but the silence was a comfortable one. Finally his hand lifted and she blinked in the dim light of the room. "Cuddy – go home. Get some sleep." She nodded, understanding that their.. whatever it was – was over and he couldn't handle much more. Truthfully, neither could she, not without laying herself open in ways she wasn't ready to. So she nodded, and even walked to her desk, pretending like she was gathering up her files. He stood watching her from the other side, as she nodded and waved him along.

"Go. I'll be done in a few minutes." He nodded and she could tell he wasn't buying it for a minute – but if he called her on it things could get out of hand. So he walked to the door, shrugging his bag onto his shoulder and opening the door silently. "House-" He paused looking back at her, and she wanted to say thank you, to apologize for everything. She wanted to tell him it would be alright – but she wasn't sure if it would. "You still owe me four clinic hours this week. I'll see you there tomorrow."

He smiled, because there was some comfort in the familiarity of their routine, and he shrugged as he walked out the door, shutting it behind him with a snap. Only when he was out of sight did she sink down into her desk chair, wondering what in the hell she could do to change anything. In her life – between them – maybe the solutions were one and the same. She just wasn't sure for the first time in her life.