Okay, folks. Here is chapter 3. Thank you to everyone who reviews and please keep them coming.
Turk avoided all of J.D.'s attempts to talk to him for the rest of the day. J.D. really wanted to take back his comment but couldn't truthfully do so. He did want to go and see Elliot tonight more than he wanted to go hang out with Turk. In fact, J.D. found himself craving Elliot's company. If he past her in the hall or met her at the nurse's station, he tried to make the conversation last as long as possible, and was always upset when she finally had to go back to work. He continued to tell himself this was all on account of the fact that he hadn't hung out with Elliot in a really long time. He had been busy with Kim while she was here; and Elliot had been busy with Keith.
Had been busy with Keith.
Although J.D.'s brain seemed to have a logical explanation for every weird feeling he got around Elliot, it couldn't seem to come up with a reason why he was so happy to hear Elliot was about to be single again.
However, he did feel a twinge of sympathy when he was helping Keith with a patient.
Any idiot can see that he's crazy about Elliot. But she's right; if she keeps the relationship going even though she doesn't think they're right, she's just going to hurt him more when she finally breaks it off.
Carla was also not talking to him. Not because she was pissed with him, but out of loyalty to her man. If she was honest, she enjoyed the fact that Turk was focusing all his attention on her for
once. So, J.D. had more or less two people to talk to in the hospital. There was Elliot, who was so busy that he hardly got to speak two words to her when she passed him; and there was……
"Afternoon, Sarah." Dr Cox said as he entered Mr Ockswell's room and picked up his chart.
"Afternoon, Dr Cox." he replied in a miserable voice. J.D. had become so lonely that he had come to talk to Mr Ockswell, who J.D. found to be asleep. He had been leaning against the wall in sadness.
"Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now," Dr Cox said, placing the chart back on the end of the bed. "is if you were, in fact, the wall on which you lean against. Of course, then you'd just be provid…..wait a second. I feel as though I've used this rant before."
He made a face as though he was trying to remember when, but J.D. interrupted.
"I'm just a little lonely. Turk's pissed off at me, Carla's staying loyal to him by also not talking to me and Elliot, well, Elliot's too busy today to breathe. So I came in here to see if Mr Ockswell wanted to ta--"
"Yeah, I'm not listening." the older doctor said harshly and left, with J.D. following.
"I've had a lot on my mind lately," he started again.
"Don't care!" Dr Cox told him, but he kept going as though nothing had been said.
"That stupid shrink was telling me all kinds of crap yesterday that quite frankly, just --"
"-- wasn't true!" Cox finished for him.
Cox had stopped in his tracks and was now staring at J.D. with a weird expression.
"What did he say to you." he asked.
"Oh, all kinds of stuff." J.D. answered, not wanted to go into specifics. "Stupid theories on how I feel about people that were just plain crazy."
"That pathetic excuse for a doctor said the same kind of bullshit to me."
Finally! Someone in the same situation as me!
"So, what did you do? I personally told he was wrong and stormed out. How about you?"
J.D. saw Dr Cox's eyes drift upwards and to the side a little and wondered what he was thinking.
(Dr. Cox's flashback)
Dr Cox is sitting across from the shrink in the same position J.D. was.
"Here's what I think." the shrink says. "I think you actually like the fact that these doctors, who you more or less took under you wing as they went from interns to the attending they are today, still seek you guidance. I think that it saddens you that they don't do it as much as they used to. Furthermore, I believe that you are extremely proud of the doctor that 'J.D.' has become, almost in the way a father would be proud of how his son turned out."
Dr Cox's eyes narrow and he seems to be twitching in anger.
Outside the room, passers by stop and stare at the door because loud noises of banging and smashing can be heard coming from inside.
Dr Cox comes out of the room, breathing heavily and looks around at the doctors and nurses staring at him in shock.
"Someone…….someone might wanna check on him." he says, indicating to the room behind him, and walks away quickly.
Dr Cox looked back at J.D. and shook his head.
"I don't really remember, it's kind of blurry. Anyway, that doesn't matter. The point is the guy is just jealous because we're the real doctors and he's trying to throw us off our game."
J.D. gasped dramatically and looked shocked.
"No!" he said.
"Yes, Newbie. So let's not give him the satisfaction of doing so. Forget everything idiotic theory he suggested. Agreed?"
He stretched out his hand and J.D. shook it.
"Agreed." he said and they both walked away in opposite directions.
Dr Cox was right. The shrink was an evil genius, attempting to ruin us real doctors by putting confusing thoughts in our head. Having my mentor share a similar story of a stupid theory only re-enforced my belief that I was not in love with E--
Elliot suddenly came round the corner and knocked into J.D., dropping about three charts in the process.
"Frick!" she said, blowing the bangs out of her face and bending down to pick up the charts. J.D. couldn't help but smile and even let out a little laugh.
"Thanks, J.D. That's exactly what I needed today. I'm avoiding Keith, crazy busy, dropping charts and now your laughing at me."
"No, I was just……I'm sorry." he told her.
Her face softened slightly.
"It's okay, I'm just…having a bad day. You're still coming over tonight, right?" she asked.
"Absolutely" he replies, not noticing Turk walking past them, until Turk made an angry snorting noise. Elliot looked at Turk's retreating form in confusion.
"Is he pissed at us?" she asked.
"Just me."
"Why?"
"Cause I said I would……" He caught himself before telling her that he had blown of Turk for her. "You know what, I don't even really know. Just guy stuff."
"Yeah." she nodded. "So, I'll see you later." she said, placing a hand briefly on his arm before walking away. J.D. watched her until she turned a corner.
There's that weird feeling in my stomach again. I must be hungry! That's it. Although, I only ate like an hour ago.
Once J.D. was finally off and out of his scrubs, he looked all over the hospital for Elliot. He needed to know what time to come over as he really did not want to walk in on Elliot breaking up with Keith.
Awkward!
He checked the ICU; she wasn't there. He checked the nurse's station; she wasn't there. He checked the doctors lounge; she wasn't there… but Turk was. He was on his break and watching the T.V., but turned to J.D. as he entered.
"Hey." he said but Turk just looked back at the T.V.
"Why are you still here, I thought you'd be off by now." Turk asked, eyes still on the T.V.
"Oh, I'm looking for Ell………Dr Cox. I'm looking for Dr Cox."
Turk laughed bitterly at his sucky cover up. An awkward silence followed.
"Listen, Turk…" J.D. started, but Turk cut him off.
"Don't, man."
With a sigh, he turned around to leave. As he did, he heard Turk's bitter voice from behind him.
"Good luck finding Elliot; she's all over the place today."
J.D. never did find Elliot, but found out that she got off around 6, and Keith at 7. Thinking Elliot would talk to Keith as soon as he got home, he decided to head over there around 8:30.
As he walked up her street, he saw Keith leave the house and walk down the other end of street, thankfully not seeing J.D.
J.D. finally reached her front door and it swung open not even 2 seconds after he had knocked. All he saw was a blur of blonde hair and the next thing he knew, Elliot had her arms wrapped around him, crying against his chest.
"J.D." she cried. "It was horrible."
He led her into her living room and sat next to her on the couch with his arm around her.
"At first, he was really quiet; like he was shell-shocked. I told him I just didn't think we were going to work out. Then he just freaked out. Asking me if…if…"
"If what?" J.D. asked.
Elliot looked directly at her carpeted floor and said:
"……if this was about you, J.D."
He honestly didn't know how to react to that, so he just stayed silent.
"I tried to tell him we were just friends but he wouldn't listen. He kept asking me why I had even starting dating him if I wasn't over you. Then he kind of broke down…crying."
The last part came out as though it physically hurt Elliot to say it. So, J.D. squeezed her shoulder a little.
"Don't beat yourself up about this. You had no choice in the matter." he told her firmly.
She looked at him with teary eyes.
"Really?" she asked.
"Of course. Like you said: if you would have kept it going when you knew it ultimately wasn't going to work out, you would have just been building him up for a bigger fall."
She nodded but he didn't think she really believed him. After a while, she spoke up again.
"The way he looked at me……like I'd ripped out his heart. Just thinking about it makes me feel like such a horrible person."
She bowed her head but he placed a finger under her chin and brought her gaze up so that it was level with his.
"Hey. You are the most caring, considerate, loving person I've ever met. Keith is just hurt right now. You did the right thing tonight."
For a minute, both just looked into the other's eyes; Elliot finding reassurance from friend and J.D. finding feelings he didn't understand, or didn't want to understand yet. Eventually, though, Elliot laid her head on J.D.'s shoulder and J.D. leant his head against hers.
To J.D., they seemed to stay like that for hours. He soon became aware that Elliot had fallen asleep, but he didn't want to move. For some reason, he just wanted to sit there; feel her lying against him, hear he breathing in and out, take in the smell of her hair.
Finally, J.D. laid Elliot out on her couch, put a blanket over her, and went home.
The next morning, J.D. woke up surprisingly refreshed; which was weird considering he got back from Elliot's quite late.
I feel good today; I don't know why. Just feel like it's gonna be a good one. The last couple of days have been stressful and confusing for me, considering the thoughts put into my head by that stupid psychologist. But something about last night seemed to, for lack of a better word, relax me.
J.D. had even arrived for his shift twenty minutes early, and so was just strolling round the hospital, hands in his pockets, thinking about everything that had happened to him lately.
I've taken Dr Cox's advice and tried to pretend that everything that was said to me the other day, didn't happen. I pretend that the shrink agreed with me that I've screwed up every relationship I've ever had because of my fear of commitment.
J.D. glanced to his right, and saw through a room window. He stopped in his tracks and walked towards the window. A father was handing a baby that could only be a few hours old to it's mother.
Thoughts of his unborn child came rushing to the front of his mind. He had been busy with Elliot that he hadn't really thought about it lately. That made him feel a little guilty. J.D. made a mental note to call Kim; just to see how she was doing.
He stayed there for minute or two, thankful that the new parents didn't see the weird doctor staring at their baby.
Suddenly, he felt a hand take hold of his. Looking, up he saw Elliot with a expression that was a mixture of sadness and… guilt?
"J.D., I'm so sorry." she started. "I bitched about my break up all of yesterday and didn't even think to ask how you where doing."
"Don't worry about it."
A comfortable silence followed until Elliot broke it.
"It's hurts doesn't it."
"Yeah." J.D. answered in a low voice. "Kim would have been getting big now. I would have been getting excited. Probably looking at the ultra sound every chance I got."
Elliot squeezed his hand and put her head on his shoulder. J.D. put his head against his, and they stayed there, just like they were last night, for a while.
When J.D. had to start his shift, they let go of each other's hand and turned around to see Keith standing a few feet away, looking both hurt and angry. He stormed off and Elliot ran after him.
Three hours into his shift, after being puked on and having two extremely tense meetings with Keith, J.D. was eager to take his break. He luckily found the doctor's lounge empty, turned off the T.V. and sat down on the couch. He folded his arms across his chest and closed his eyes.
During a hectic day, it's important that you take a little time to yourse--
Suddenly, the door flew open and Carla entered, dragging Turk behind her.
"J.D., two need to talk." she told him.
Will I ever get to have a break during my break?
"I tried to talk to him yesterday, Carla." J.D. said. "But he wouldn't listen."
"That's because I don't want to talk to a backstabber." Turk made a move to leave but was stopped by his wife's voice.
"Christopher!"
"I don't understand why your so pissed off at me." J.D. said.
"You don't understand? You told me Elliot was your new best friend!"
"I don't remember not talking to you when you started hanging out with Carla instead of me."
"That was different!" Turk shouted.
"Yeah? How?" J.D. asked.
"I was in love with her." Turk shot back.
"How is that dif…." J.D. trailed off and his expression turned from one of anger to confusion.
What the hell? Was I just about to ask how this situation is different? Oh, crap. This stupid shrink is getting to me again. I need help.
"I have to go." he told Turk and Carla, leaving them wondering why the argument had so suddenly stopped.
J.D. basically ran around the hospital looking for his mentor. He finally saw him looking over a chart at the nurses station.
"Dr Cox!" he said, breathless from his run.
"What is it, Christa?" Cox asked, not taking his eyes from the chart.
"I'm having trouble with what we talked about yesterday. Y'know, the shrink; and pretending it didn't happen."
This time, Cox looked up at J.D.
"Even when I'm focused on something else it just keeps coming back. Like, just now, I was arguing with Turk and out of nowhere it came to me and I just --"
"Look, Newbie. You're not trying hard enough. If you keep letting this thing get to you then the shrink's have won. And by standing here talking to me about it you're doing the same thing. Now clear your mind, okay. It didn't happen."
He stared at his mentor for a second, swallowed and nodded. Then he tried to clear his mind of everything that was remotely linked to Elliot.
"I'm going to check on Mr Ockswell, you comin'?" Cox asked.
"Yeah." J.D. answered, thankful for a distraction.
When they got to Mr Ockswell's room, his wife was there already; along with Turk.
Now, the surgeon wouldn't normally come and see the patient this early, I mean, we haven't even found a donor yet. But Mr Ockswell such a really nice guy that everyone comes to see him.
Turk and J.D. avoided each other's gazes. As Turk was standing next to the bed, J.D. stayed by the door. Cox looked at the machines hooked up to Mr Ockswell.
"How're feelin' today, Mr Ockswell?" Cox asked.
"Same as yesterday." the old man answered, cheerily.
J.D. noticed again that Mrs Ockswell was holding her husband's hand and couldn't resist asking:
"Mr Ockswell, if you don't mind me asking, how did you and your wife meet."
The couple shared knowing smiles.
"We knew each other for a long time before we started dating." Mrs Ockswell said.
"We were friends in college. Best friends. Then, one day. I realised I was in love with her." Mr Ockswell said, squeezing his wife's hand.
"I'd been in love with her since the beginning," he went on. "just didn't realise it. I had been in denial for years."
"Y'know," Turk spoke up. "the same thing kind of happened to me. I kept telling myself that I wasn't in love with my girlfriend, then one day it just took hold of me; and now she's my wife."
"I'd convinced myself that I was over Jordan for nearly two years; that I hated her." Dr Cox said, turning to face the couple and Turk. "But, eventually, it gets you. You can't fight love; not forever."
"Son," said Mrs Ockswell to J.D. "are you alright?"
She had asked this because J.D. was gripping the chart in his hand and the colour had drained from his face. His mouth hung open in shock.
All he could think about was her. Her smile. Her laugh. Her smell. Her 'Frick's. Her bang-blowing.
Oh, God. I'm in love with Elliot!
Hope you liked it and please review!!