Ronin Special #1
What Might have been
By: Ghost of the Dawn
Chapter 2: Rowen, part 1
The second she cried out, Robyn clamped her hands over her mouth. That was loud enough to wake the dead. And the last thing she wanted to do was wake the slumbering body. Horror filled her at the thought of this particular person waking up and seeing her in such a state.
So horrific was the thought, Robyn backed right off the bed, making a loud thud as she hit the floor on her back. With the breath knocked out of her, Robyn looked up, eyes wide. If her scream didn't wake the other person in the bed, that thud should have.
She lay there in terrified silence. All he would have to do was peek over the bed and he would see her--all of her. There was nothing anywhere to use to cover her naked body. The covers were left on the bed, far away. Maybe she could roll under the bed? Robyn doubted she wanted to be under there without any clothes on. So with lack of any other options, Robyn lay there with arms crossed over her chest and waited.
Nothing happened.
Robyn slowly sat up and peeked over the edge of the bed. The person there was still sleeping soundly. Robyn felt stupid. Of course nothing would wake THAT guy up.
No longer nervous about being seen, Robyn casually got up, dug around for a change of clothes and hopped in the shower.
As the hot water poured down her face, Robyn pondered over her situation. It was starting all over again. Once more, she had suddenly woken up in a strange bed with a naked man whose resemblance she knew. Before, it had been Cye and she had survived. With this person, she wasn't so sure.
Robyn poked her head out of the shower to glance at the door. She tried to hear if the man on the other side was moving around or knocking yet. She couldn't hear much over the water anyway, but she still glared at it suspiciously. It was like waiting for a sleeping lion behind that door. She had seen how bad Cye could be when familiar with a woman, she was quite afraid to find out how Rowen was going to act. Especially since Cye wasn't present to get after him if he went too far.
Cye...
Robyn clutched her chest, over her heart. It hurt to think of him. Why? Did she miss him that much? In those three days she was in that world, did she fall in love with him? And which Cye was she in love with? That one in her world, or that one she had only known for a short time?
It was far too complicated.
With a heavy sigh, Robyn turned off the water and set about getting dried and dressed in the bathroom. Once done, she eased open the door and peeked out. All was still quiet. Right outside the bathroom was an extra counter and a mirror. It was here she opted to comb through her wet hair, feeling safer now that she was fully dressed.
But was she really safe?
Robyn was too lost in though to notice in the mirror as two hands snuck out from behind her, wrapping around her and grabbing her chest. Robyn screamed like she had never screamed before and tore from the offensive embrace and threw herself against the opposite wall. In front of her stood a grinning Rowen--thankfully in pajama bottoms, but topless.
Robyn was still shaking from the assault, her nerves a bit frazzled from the experience.
"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, brandishing her comb between them like a dagger.
"Good morning!" Rowen sang pleasantly. "A little jumpy today, are we?"
Robyn did not return the good mood. How dare he do such a thing to her! And first thing in the morning!
"Don't you come near me!" Robyn threatened, comb still in hand.
Rowen just grinned and sauntered past her into the bathroom. "You said that last night, too and we both know how THAT turned out."
The bathroom door shut and Robyn stared at it, dumbfounded. The shower started and Robyn was still frozen where she was. Everything had happened the same as before, but this was definitely a different situation. She would have to be on her toes for this one.
Suddenly feeling very hungry, Robyn moved off to the kitchen. She was going to need all the energy she could muster for this adventure.
Robyn soon discovered the place she lived now was a nice apartment complex in the city. She easily found the kitchen and set about locating a suitable breakfast. There was pancake mix and store brand syrup in the cupboards. Not as fancy as living with Cye, but Robyn had never been a picky eater.
As the batter simmered on the pan, Robyn kept glancing towards the bedroom. Rowen would emerge soon and she wasn't going to let him sneak up on her again. She may have been out of her element, stuck in a strange world, but she'd be damned if she let Rowen Hashiba get the drop on her aga--
A hand came out of nowhere, cupping her chin and turning her face to the side where her lips met with another's. His grip was firm, but his kiss was gentle. For a moment, Robyn was too stunned to respond.
What is he? Some kind of pervert ninja?
Rowen deepened the kiss and Robyn was both surprised and a bit angry that she felt her knees go weak and she leaned back against the stove.
"Waoh!" Rowen broke off the kiss and grabbed her, pulling away the hand that was almost scalded by her cooking pan.
Pressed against Rowen's body, Robyn's heart was pounding at the calamity that she narrowly avoided.
"Don't want anything to happen to this," Rowen said, kissing the inside of her wrist.
For the second time, Robyn felt a fluttering in her veins as his lips brushed the sensitive skin of her wrist. His tall, lean body was so warm against hers. The moment was short lived, however, when Robyn noticed something.
"Your hand is a little high," she glowered at him.
Rowen grinned back, not moving his hand from her chest and not showing any remorse. "...And?"
Minutes later, Rowen was sulking in his chair, a hand over his cheek which still stung from being slapped. Robyn moodily came up and unceremoniously plopped two hot pancakes on his plate. She slammed the syrup on the table and Rowen visibly flinched from the sound. Robyn then got two for herself and sat across from him. She snatched up the syrup when Rowen was done with it and tore into them.
Yes, she was definitely going to need all her energy to survive this.
Rowen chewed more slowly. Confusion clearly written all over his face as he watched her and tried to read her emotions. After a long span of silence, he finally spoke.
"So... what's going on?"
That's what I'd like to know! Robyn thought to herself. But did nothing outwardly to respond.
"I'm sorry," Rowen continued. "I'm trying really hard to read you, but I don't understand. You're clearly mad at me for something, but you still made me breakfast."
Robyn continued to remain silent.
"Are you trying to play those girly head games with me? I thought you didn't like to do that. I'll play it if you want. But you know you can just tell me what it is. I'll listen."
Robyn looked up at him, still a bit suspicious. His expression caught her a bit off guard. The smug smile was replaced with a look of genuine concern. It was a look she had never seen on Rowen's face before. She had, however, seen it on Cye's.
It was that same look of concern Cye had given her the first day she had woken up in his world. He had been worried not only because she had fainted (Robyn was now past THAT stage on this weird adventure) but also because he thought she was pregnant with his child.
That memory brought up an important question. Robyn looked to Rowen who was still waiting for a response. She had to ask, but it was a hard question to bring up. However, this was Rowen after all. His style was always blunt, so she could be blunt with him as well.
"Rowen, are you and I...expecting?"
Rowen jumped to his feet knocking his chair over.
"YOU'RE PREGNANT?" he screamed in a high pitched voice, the color visibly draining from his face.
Robyn returned his wide eyed expression with one of her own. While it wasn't the reaction she expected, it did answer her question.
"Uh...no..."
Rowen let out a heavy breath and went to upright his chair.
"Jeeze, give me a heart attack! Why are you being so mean to me today?"
Robyn allowed herself a small smirk, feeling vindicated for scaring him. He so deserved it.
"You're still on the pill, right?" Rowen checked.
Robyn's smirk vanished. This conversation suddenly turned in a direction she was not comfortable with. In an effort to get away from it, she grabbed her plate and went to put it in the sink.
But Rowen never could be ignored that easily.
"Robyn, you are, right? Right?"
Robyn rinsed her plate and put it in the dishwasher while Rowen continued to dog her with questions.
"You're taking it, right? Because we discussed this and we both agreed that we're not really for kids yet. We would decide together. Right, Robyn? Right?"
Robyn quickly scooted out of the kitchen. Rowen was too flabbergasted (and too unfinished with his pancakes) to follow. Instead, he just called after her a few more times from the table.
"Hey, answer me Robyn! You still are, right?"
Robyn sighed as she retreated back to the bedroom to escape him. He was still the same Rowen who never met a thought he didn't share. But this was a totally different situation and the things he was thinking about, Robyn did not want to know.
And the room was a mess. It was sure a lot more cluttered than the house she had shared with Cye.
We're both slobs! Robyn marveled as she set about picking up all the dirty laundry. She threw the dirty clothes in the hamper and set about making the bed.
The bathroom's kind of gross, too. I sure have my work cut out for m--wait a minute! Why am I cleaning up someone else's mess?
"Yatta!" Rowen cried as he flung himself headfirst onto the bed. He rolled on his back and stretched his long body over the span of the mattress. "Ah, freshly made!"
I didn't even hear him enter! He IS a ninja! Robyn marveled. Out loud she said "Yes, freshly made! And you just ruined it! What are you--five years old?"
He smiled slyly at her. "There's room for one more..."
"Oh that's okay, I'm busy."
She turned to walk away, but Rowen was already on his feet and he wrapped his arms around her from behind to prevent her escape.
"Why do you keep running?" he whispered in a sultry voice. "Do you want me to chase you? Tell me."
He nuzzled her behind the ear and Robyn shivered despite herself. It took her a while to find her voice. How was he doing this to her? Why was she acting like this? With Rowen of all people?
"Tell you what?" she managed to rasp out.
"Anything," he breathed as his hands began to wander.
Robyn squeaked and wrenched herself from his grip.
"What I want to know is what is your obsession with my chest? You don't even ask first!" It's not even that big! How fascinating can boobs be?
Rowen looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? We've been together over two years. That means I'm entitled to unlimited boob access, any time I want. No questions asked."
Robyn was floored. Then she got angry.
"Get out! OUT!" she screamed as Rowen Hashiba was thrown out the front door of his own apartment.
The young man sat on the porch, wide-eyed and dumbfounded. "What did I do?"
"Don't step one foot through this door until you've cleaned up that dirty mind of yours!"
Rowen blinked. "Clean up my--but that could take forever!"
"GOOD!" Robyn slammed the door in his face.
Once alone in the apartment, Robyn fumed to herself. How dare he act like that! Didn't he
have any respect for her at all? Didn't he love the Robyn of this world like Cye and loved the one in his? Cye had been so sweet to her- gentle and caring. Rowen just seemed to want to feel her up. Things were just different here.
Why am I not surprised? That's the way he would talk. Of course it would be the way he would act when given the chance.
Robyn dropped her arms, sighing in frustration. Why did she find that so disappointing? Why did it kind of hurt inside to know he only thought of her like that?
The phone rang and Robyn idly wondered why she was thinking such stupid thoughts as she picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey Robyn!" chirped a voice. It was unexpected, but familiar.
"Mary Anne?" Robyn gawked into the phone. "How did you get here from Cye's world?"
"How did I do what?"
"Uh, nevermind, Mary Anne,"
"No, how did I do what? What did you say?"
"I said nevermind!"
"How did I get where?"
Robyn sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. "What can I do for you, Mary Anne?" she asked, rubbing her temples with her free hand.
"Oh! I totally have the urge to go hiking! Like right now! Wanna come? I'll pick you up."
Robyn's face lit up. Escape!
"Sure! I'll get ready!"
After hanging up, Robyn ran to the bedroom to find suitable attire. She was putting on hiking boots when she heard an obnoxious car horn sound outside. That had to be her.
Rowen was still sitting on the stairs when Robyn opened the door.
"Where are you going?" he asked as he stood to follow.
"Out," she replied simply, not looking at him. "Girl time."
"But what will I do all day by myself?"
Robyn shot him a hard look. "Don't you have a job or something?"
Rowen looked confused and defeated. "It's Saturday..."
Robyn took personal pleasure seeing him like that. "Not my problem. Behave yourself while I'm gone."
She threw him the "I've got my eye on you" gesture before retreating into Mary Anne's car and driving away.
"Oh Mary Anne, you came just in time!" Robyn sighed as she leaned back, letting the breeze from the window blow through her hair. "I was going to have to kill that idiot if I stayed with him a minute longer."
"I saw him sitting outside. What did he do?"
Robyn sighed. Thinking about it was tiring. "He wouldn't stop ALL morning! He just kept coming at me, trying to feel me up! I wouldn't even get a warning! It drove me nuts!"
Mary Anne glanced at her from the corner of her eye.
"But you said you liked him that way."
Robyn whipped her head around. "I did!"
The two drove out of town to the mountains and got out in a particularly scenic place. It reminded Robyn of the place Mia had her house. Mary Anne led the way down a path she seemed to know well. Robyn followed quietly for a while, but a questions gnawed at her.
"Did I really say that about Rowen?" she asked as she climbed over a large boulder.
"Yeah, you did," the blonde confirmed. "Practically threw it in my face. I still don't get it. We got married the same time you two moved in together and while our sex life is dying down, you two still act like you're on your honeymoon."
Robyn felt a bit nauseous at the thought. That often? All the time?
"Well, that might be changing," she muttered.
"Oh?" Mary Anne looked up from watching a large butterfly. "Trouble in paradise? You guys have a real fight? Not just the ones you would do on purpose so you could make up with loud and rowdy snogging?"
Robyn gave a disgusted face. That was a new term for her and it didn't bring pleasant thoughts to her head.
Mary Anne looked blankly at her for a moment, then her face lit up.
"Oh, I get it!"
"Get what?" Robyn blinked.
Mary Anne folded her arms, a knowing smile on her face. "You've finally had it. You're getting back at him for not doing the deed!"
"Deed?"
"You know, buy the ring? Pop the question?"
If Robyn had been carrying something, she would have dropped it. She glanced down at her hand--both to make sure. Nothing. She clenched her fists, suddenly mad at him all over again. That bastard wasn't even man enough to marry her before they engaged in loud and rowdy snogging every night?
"But we both know," Mary Anne continued. "Ring or no ring, that boy is so crazy for you. He would never leave you in a million years."
Robyn's fists dropped. "Eh?"
"Heaven forbid, his whole world would shatter if you ever left him. And you can't blame him for being that way with how his parent's marriage went down the crapper. So he has a few commitment issues. He is so in love with you." Mary Anne turned to look her in the face. "Robyn, Honey, if you ever let go of that man, you'll be the biggest idiot I have ever met."
Robyn stared. Was that true? Did he really love this world's version of her that much? Did he only act that way because the other Robyn wanted him to?
It certainly was a new puzzle. One Robyn tried to solve the rest of the morning as they continued along the path. The pair had lunch outside among the trees and flowers and hung out all day. It was a welcome relief for what was awaiting Robyn at home. It was late in the evening--almost dark when Robyn was dropped off back at the apartment. Her legs were tired, as was her mind. All she wanted to do was eat, soak in a hot tub, and think about nothing. But when Robyn entered the apartment, she realized the day was far from over.
Rowen, who had been sitting on the couch, stood up as she entered. "Hey, I was waiting for you, I--"
Robyn cut him off as she walked past. "Please Rowen, not now," she pleaded, fatigue clear in her voice. "I haven't eaten and I'm really tired. Can you let me rest a bit before we do another round of 'Grab-Atcha'?"
"What are you talking about?" Rowen wondered. "I just wanted to--"
"Oh fine!" Robyn barked. She stood in front of him, arms down at her sides. "Just do what you want and get it over with! I'm too tired to look over my shoulder all the time!"
She closed her eyes, waiting for the assault. It never came. Instead, two arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a gentle embrace. Robyn's eyes popped open, surprised at such a tender response. She looked up at him, wondering what was on his mind.
"I've been thinking about what's been going on," Rowen said simply. "We'll talk about it later. Go get something to eat, okay?"
Robyn was surprised, to say the least. This was a complete 180 from the Rowen he was this morning. He really COULD be sweet if he wanted to. She marveled at all of this as he let her go so she could stumble into the kitchen.
Too tired to cook anything, Robyn dug around for sandwich ingredients. As she was making hers, Rowen wandered in and made himself one as well. Both finished putting together their meals and ate in silence. Again Robyn pondered over what was going on. This felt a lot like when Rowen would come over to the Mouri's house and raid their fridge. It felt very casual. Like at the moment they were both just friends hanging out.
But that wasn't the case and Robyn knew it. This wasn't her friend she often palled around with after school. Though he looked very much like her Rowen. Even now, the way he slowly chewed his food as he mulled over an idea in his head; was much like her Rowen. But this one- Robyn was a bit afraid how far he might want to go that night. Would she have enough energy to keep fighting him off?
After eating, Robyn went to shower. She knew she smelled like she needed one. Her legs and back muscles were starting to get sore, too. Deciding that a bath sounded better, Robyn made sure the bathroom door was locked before filling the tub with hot water and lots of bubbles.
The bubble bath smelled like peaches, one of her favorite scents. Closing her eyes, she sunk in all the way up to her nose and let the heat melt away the aches and tension. Sitting like this made her feel like she just might make it through another day.
Then, a tickle in the back of her senses made her open her eyes. Her blood ran cold to see Rowen standing over her, looking down.
"Hey, your show's on. Do you want me to record it for you?"
"Rowen!" Robyn squawked, throwing her arms around herself. "How did you get in here? I locked the door!"
Rowen glanced at the door. "It's been broken for almost a month now. You know that."
Robyn glared at him.
"Yeah, I know I need to fix it," Rowen sighed. He looked back down at her. "Your face is turning bright red. Are you okay? Is the water too hot?"
Robyn couldn't believe how casual he was being. Granted, the bubbles covered all the parts she didn't want him to see. But still, this was utterly humiliating! Why did he have to keep looking at her?
"Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" she snapped
Rowen's face darkened a bit. "Fine," he said flatly as he grabbed the curtain and tugged it shut.
As she heard him walk away and close the door, Robyn felt stupid she didn't think of the curtain first. It took her a minute to get her heart to slow down. Boy did she really hate him at this moment. However, Robyn's mind had to rationalize that this Rowen was simply acting the way he usually did around the Robyn he knew. A Robyn who didn't have a problem with a broken bathroom door. Who wouldn't have a problem with her lover walking in on her bathing at any time.
She felt her face flush again as she though about it. The way he had looked at her; he just looked at her face, not really any where else. It was like he didn't need to. It was like he already knew what everything looked like and he could look again any time he wanted. The feeling she got when she thought about it was kind of exciting. It made her want him to look at her again.
NO! No! What am I thinking! Now I'm the one being a pervert! Stop it, Robyn!
Robyn slumped in the tub, not happy with herself. She quickly blamed it on all the flirting and innuendo she and Rowen tossed at each other when she was in her home reality.
Home. She suddenly missed it.
Robyn dallied in the tub for as long as she thought she could get away with it. When her fingers and toes were all wrinkled and the water had gotten cold, she pulled the plug. After pouring new, warm water to rinse off, Robyn got out and dressed in the bathroom. She did it as quick as possible, nervous that Rowen could still come in at any moment if he wanted to.
Robyn dressed in a pair of pink pajamas that she thought were extremely cute and wish she owned a pair. When she got out, the tv was on in the bedroom, but Rowen wasn't around. Robyn sat down on the side of the bed that was neater kept and had more feminine items on the night stand. She wondered what time they went to bed. Rowen's bad sleeping habits were legendary. If she was lucky, maybe she could be asleep before he came in to bed.
No dice.
Just then, Rowen came in wearing silky, black pajama pants and a blue button up shirt left open. Robyn looked up as he entered and quickly glanced away. He looked really good that way. But the last thing she wanted was for him to think she thought he looked good; even though he did.
Rowen, in his sexy pajamas, climbed onto the bed and curled up next to her, resting his head in her lap. Robyn wondered if she had energy enough to tell him to move it or loose it.
"I'm so lucky that you love me," he sighed.
Oh really. "And who said that I loved you?" Robyn asked.
Rowen twisted his neck around to look up at her. "You do. I can tell."
Robyn raised an eyebrow in an unconvinced fashion.
Rowen turned back around and sighed heavily in sudden melancholy. "I don't know what I'd do if you didn't."
Robyn's heart jumped in her throat. She never thought she'd hear those kinds of words coming out of that mouth. In that way, he almost sounded a bit sad; scared. It was awkward for Robyn, but she wanted to comfort him somehow. The only problem was, she wasn't good at this kind of thing and it was Rowen she was trying to comfort.
"Yes, yes. There, there," she said as she stiffly patted his head. It was like she was comforting a dog.
Rowen sighed, but made no further response. He got lost in his own thoughts easily.
With all he thinks about, it's a wonder he finds his way back at all.
But Robyn was getting lost in her own thoughts as well. It was a bit frustrating to feel like there was a greater power involved jerking her around. Trying to get her to do who knows what. By now, Robyn was convinced there was some kind of reason this was all happening. What that reason was, however, was the real mystery.
Without thinking, Robyn's hand wandered down to play with Rowen's hair as her mind drifted off. It wasn't as thick or long as the others' were. In fact, Rowen's was easily the thinnest of the five.
But it was still soft with a pleasant texture. The motion of running her fingers through his longer bangs was a comforting one. She wasn't sure why, but it was.
Without warning, Rowen reached up and took her wrist. He pulled her hand down to press it to his chest under the open folds of his shirt. Robyn's instinct was to pull back. Rowen wasn't wearing anything under that shirt and her palm was on bare skin. It was warm beneath her touch and she could feel his heartbeat. It felt good and bad at the same time. Robyn's face was growing warm. She couldn't be touching him like that. Why was he making her do this?
"I figured out why you've been mad at me," Rowen spoke, not looking up at her.
This made Robyn momentarily forget her embarrassment. Oh really? Do tell. You may be a genius, but you're not answering this riddle so easily.
"It's because I don't romance you any more. We don't go out and I don't buy you things and now you're making me pay for it."
Robyn tipped her head thoughtfully and nodded. He DID deserve all she did to him today. That jerk! He was such a guy! Since they were now living together, all he care about was the sex. He didn't even have to work for it any more. It was a good thing he at least figured this out on his own or he would be in even worse trouble.
Wait! What AM I thinking! It's like I'm really living with him! Who cares what he wants! You're not going to give it to him! This isn't my life!
"So..." Rowen spoke again to break the silence. "You really ARE still taking birth control, right?"
Robyn ripped her hand from his grasp and slapped the palm flat over his ear. It was a move Sage had taught her.
"OW!" Rowen cried, sitting up and clutching his ear.
Robyn regarded him with arms folded and an irritated look. "I don't have any plans on getting pregnant!" And she didn't
Rowen sighed with relief. "Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"
"Because you're so adamant sometimes it drives me nuts! Why don't you learn to let some things go?"
"I can let things go," Rowen insisted. "But some things are a kind of important to know."
He shot her a meaningful glance. Robyn ignored it and turned to climb into bed. She was tired of this nonsense and wanted some sleep.
"So anyway," Rowen continued in an annoyed tone. "As I was saying earlier, we don't do the same things we used to. So I was going to take you out on a date tomorrow. And you're welcome."
"Great," Robyn shot back in the same tone. "Because it would be nice if you bought me some dinner first before trying to take advantage of me."
With that, she rolled over in bed, her back to Rowen. As soon as the covers were over her face, Robyn's eyes popped wide open.
What the hell did I just say to him!
In her world, she could say things like that to her Rowen and he would know she was kidding. But here, if she suggested he "buy her dinner first" he was fully expecting perks afterwards.
Did I just agree to sleep with him after this date tomorrow? I'm such an idiot!
While wallowing in her stupidity, Robyn was slightly aware of Rowen turning off the tv and the lights and then slipping in bed next to her. Robyn was still cursing over how her previous relationship to the original Rowen was making her shoot off things she shouldn't to the new one when she felt him lean over her.
"So..." he said suggestively. "Tonight, do ya wanna?"
Robyn flung the covers off her head and turned to give him her best "back off" look in the darkness.
"No!"
She then flopped around with her back to him once again and her covers pulled protectively around her. She lay there stubbornly, not moving as she heard Rown sigh. He shuffled around on his side of the bed before settling in with another heavy sigh.
Drama queen, Robyn thought to herself. She didn't feel sorry for him AT ALL.
The minutes ticked away in silence. Rowen shifted again.
"I can't sleep," he lamented to the dark. "Can I hold you?"
Is he kidding? He's still trying to get some action tonight? Man, I am SO tired!
"How am I to believe you'll try to ONLY sleep if I let you touch me?" Robyn finally spoke.
"There is no other reason I go to bed this early. You know that. I have an easier time falling asleep when there's someone to fall asleep with."
Robyn stared at the wall. That was news to her. Was that why her world Rowen always stayed up so late? He had never talked to her about it before. Robyn just always assumed it was because his massive brain never took a rest from thinking. But was the real reason that he could not sleep because it was hard for him to be alone at night in that big, empty apartment all by himself?
Robyn sat up and looked at him skeptically in the darkness.
"Just sleeping," she informed him. "You try to cop ANY kind of feel and you'll be trying to fall asleep on the couch."
"Hai, hai," he conceded. "Whatever you say."
Robyn kept up the disgruntled front as she turned herself over to face him. In the darkness, long thin arms reached out to her and gently pulled her close to a warm body. All Robyn touched was skin and her eyes went wide. Rowen must have removed his shirt while her back was turned.
She couldn't stop her face from getting warm as she was pressed against the topless young man. Her mind was racing; heart pounding. Where was safe to touch? Not sure what to do with her hands, Robyn opted for the safest place she could think of and rested them on his shoulders.
He's warm there, too, she lamented. Everywhere is so warm.
Robyn was fighting the urge to explore with her hands. Men's bodies were so much different than women's. Being so close to a man like this, Robyn was fully aware of this fact.
Touch him, her mind egged. You can do it. He will let you. You won't get another chance like this.
She could feel his hands slowly roaming her back. One traveled up to pull her hair from her face and neck. Then he lazily ran his fingers through it.
Robyn let him. She never thought he would be capable of a touch so innocent and gentle as this. Now she really wanted to touch him back. It seemed only fair and she was curious.
Still too chicken to venture into the chest area, Robyn let her hands slide down his arms. They were lean, but strong and hard under the smooth skin. It was new and exciting and Robyn wanted to run her hands down his arms again.
"Woah," Rowen said, perking up. "Did you change your mind about tonight?"
Robyn instantly stopped what she was doing. Rowen was such a...guy! Did every little thing she did make him hot and bothered?
"No! You're such an idiot!" Robyn barked and, while hugging herself, buried her face in Rowen's bare chest to end the conversation.
Pressed against his chest, Robyn felt as well as heard him chuckle. She was aware of how ridiculous the situation was. She was laying in the arms of someone she just told to back off; but she wouldn't move away from him.
"So why are you letting an idiot touch you?" Rowen asked softly, the amusement clear in his voice.
"Maybe I want someone to hold me, too," Robyn admitted with a bit of edge still to her words.
"Fair enough."
Rowen's arms wrapped around her in the dark, surrounding her and pulling her close. Robyn was glad for them. Suddenly, in the blackness, she felt alone; scared. She was so out of place here. She didn't fit.
The only person she really knew in this world was Rowen. He wasn't even her Rowen. He didn't have all the same memories she did–how they met, all the events that were important to them. How they grew together. Likewise, she had none of his memories–their first kiss–first anything.
But he was still Rowen, no matter what he remembered, and Robyn clung to that. Despite the day's antics, Robyn still trusted him to keep her safe. In his arms, she did feel safe.
As Robyn drifted off in her warm, safe haven, she wonder if she would wake up still in these arms.