I squinted against the light that was coming from above me. Was I dead now? Was this "heaven"?

I tried look around but when I tried to move it hurt. My wrist was hurting extremely so which was weird since I didn't thought I would feel it when I was dead but I haven't been dead before so what do I know? I opened my eyes and I realized that it was a lamp that was shining in my eyes. And judging by the room I was in a hospital. Shit. That meant I wasn't s

dead. That meant that Charlie knew I had tried to kill myself... I looked around in the room and besides one pretty mangled body beside me it seemed empty. Then someone opened the door. Dr. Cullen... "So you've woken up now Bella." He said and I nodded. Every time I came here when I had made a deep wound I always felt guilty. Like I was letting him down. Really stupid I know. Whenever I had a cut it was always he that treated me and he always promised not to tell anyone though I could see how much it troubled him that he couldn't help me more than to sew my wounds... "You'd cut yourself pretty bad this time Bella." He looked down on me and I felt like I was a little kid that just had done something wrong and knew that their parent wouldn't be mad. Just disappointed. "Yeah" I mumbled looking dow on my bandaged wrist. "If you were trying to kill yourself you were close. If your dad hadn't found you so quickly you would've lost to much blood to survive." Dammit I couldn't even kill myself thoroughly. "Bella you know this one you can't hide. Your dad already knows..." He sighed and pinched the brig of his nose. "I'm sorry but you will met our psychiatrist 3 times a week while you're staying here." Shit shit shit! I was gonna have to talk to some know it all bitch who didn't knew a thing and 3 times a week! "I'm sorry Bella but you need help even if you don't want it." I just closed my eyes and just willing everything to disappear.

"You'll be staying here for 3 weeks so we can be sure you make full recovery." I had opened my eyes and saw that he was looking worriedly at my neighbor patient. "What happened to him?" I asked it was just like the Doctor to worry to much over his patients. "He was in a car accident." He swallowed thickly and for a moment I was afraid he was gonna cry. "You know him?" I asked. Dr. Cullen looked down and nodded. "He's my son." well that explained why he was so scared because my neighbor had looked really bad. "Um, is he going to be okay?" Dr. Cullen straightened up and smiled at me. "Yes he will but it will take some time..." "Whats his name?" I asked. He probably went to forks high. "Edward you maybe know him?" Dr. Cullen answered. I stiffened as I realized it was that Edward the Edward who had been together with Jessica the Edward who would get visited by no other than my tormentors. "Oh...Um I know who he is. He's my lab partner." There really wasn't anyone up there who liked me. "Dr. Cullen why am I in this room anyways? I mean I can't be as bad as Edward right?" Dr. Cullen shook his head and smiled like I said something silly. "Bella this is the department for serious injuries." he said and I raised my eyebrows. So what? "Bella your injury is quite serious you could've died you know." I was gonna raise up on my elbows but the motion made my wrist hut so I grimaced and sank back to the pillows. "Does it hurt?" I nodded and he took out a syringe and pored the substance into my right elbow and I could immediately feel the effect of it as my lids started to get heavy and I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up again it was quiet. It seemed to be late since the light had changed from before. I looked over to my neighbor and he was sleeping. He had one of those plastic neck things on and his right arm was broken and heave bandaged. He had bandage on his ribcage to so I supposed he had broke a few of those to. His face had some band aids on. One over his left eye and one pretty large that went from his cheek down to his chin. I settled against my pillows and closed my eyes trying to forget the pain. I was in a heap of trouble. Not only would dad know but Jake too... It wouldn't be nice to have that conversation. Well at least I could use the pain as a get away from talking to them. And people would talk. And when I thought about that I remembered the film and almost groaned. I almost felt sick just thinking about it . The lump reappearing, almost choking me. I looked up at the lamp. It was one of those typical hospital lamps that gave off this blueish light. I could see the dust floating around up there. A muffled sound interrupted my myself-time and I turned back my gaze to my neighbor. He seemed to be waking up. He gave off these weird noises that sounded like he was in serious pain... Maybe I should call on a nurse or something... But luckily I didn't have to because a nurse came in and gave him something that made him quieten and still. When the nurse left I looked over to him again and he seemed to be awake. Slightly drugged maybe... He was looking up in the ceiling, just like myself for awhile ago. He must've felt me looking at him because he slowly turned his head in my direction. He was just laying there staring blankly at me and I was staring right back. Since looking someone in the eye for longer periods made me uneasy I looked away. Maybe I should say something? I mean we were probably going to have be neighbor patients for a few weeks so we maybe should get on speaking terms? I almost slapped myself for even thinking that. He wasn't that gone from the crash that he would talk to me. I looked to the other side of the room and started to inspect the furniture when he interrupted me again. "What are you doing here?" He rasped out he sounded horrible. And looked horrible there really wasn't any reason for me to be in same department as him. I just has some blood loss and a little wound on my wrist... Then I realized he had been talking to me, talking to me and even just asked a casual question.. Well kind of casual.

But what would I answer to that? "Um... I've hurt my wrist..." I wondered if he had seen he film yet... If he hadn't I could get away with that answer..."Oh...What did you do?" Shit what am I gonna say now? "It got cut open, lost a lot of blood you know." Please just drop it now don't try to go into specifics... But really why did that matter? I could just tell him to shut up and leave me alone right? I don't need to be nice to him. Has he ever been nice to me? Well he just talked to you... That hardly counts... Okay you're right I could just snap at him if he was gonna get too nosy. I looked over to him and he had continued with the ceiling staring. But I didn't want to stop talking... Just about my privacy... "So what happened to you?" I asked hoping that he would stay being on politely speaking terms with me. "Car accident..." Was that all he was gonna give me? I told him lots of thing! No you didn't... Maybe not but more than he did... If he could be nosy so could I... "Oh...How did that happened?" I was expecting him to just give some boring answer like: I was driving and crashed.

But he didn't. "I was at this party 2 days ago, you know at Jessica's place?" I nodded even though I didn't know anything about a party at Jessica. "Well I got into some shit with this douche Mike who just fucking attacked me for no reason and I wasn't really sober either so that was an ugly fight and then when Jazz starts interrupting and says shit like that I should get home and I just got really pissed at him for stopping me from squishing Newtons face and I got into my car and drove away, pretty drunk and pretty pissed off so then I just kind drives straight into a fucking tree in a really fucking high speed too so I got pretty smashed..." I was a little taken aback by his answer and even felt guilty for not telling him my reason for being here. Maybe that was a Cullen thing? That they made you feel guilty all the time? I looked over to him and he seemed to be waiting for a response.

"Um well that sucks?" God what stupid answer is that. "Yeah it sucks." He snorted.

"So what are you really in here for?" What? How did he knew I had lied? Well technically I hadn't lied because I had got a deep cut... "Um I told you before?" I looked over questioningly at him and hoped he didn't see through me. "You didn't tell how you got that cut you know..." It looked like he was attempting to smile but it came out as a grimace, probably 'cuz it hurt of the wound on his cheek. God it would've been better if I just would've shut up from the beginning. But there was no sneaking out if now. He had already told me everything about why he was here. It was really mean to sneak out it now. But why can't I be mean? Have I ever been mean to anyone? No it was always anyone who was mean to me so why should I even care to be nice to him? Why don't you just shut up and answer him? I sighed and looked up and of course was he still expecting the answer. Not trying to push me with staying silent. "Don't you know by now?" I asked quietly. The lump returning to my stomach again. He made the smallest shook of his head and wanted me to continue.

"Haven't you seen the film?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and sighed. "No Bella will you tell me and stop asking questions?" Did he know my name? Of course he knew my name, but he has just never said it before... And he wanted me to tell him the truth. Maybe just to pass time but who knew? He was kind of the enemy wasn't he? "Why should I trust you?" My voice sounded very accusingly and now I really wanted to smack myself. God was this some action drama where I was the hero who just found a stranger who wants me to trust him when he really is the bad guy... But it was partly true. He would maybe just tell Jessica as soon as he got the chance... "Well thats true but why should I've told you if I wouldn't look pass that?" So he wanted me to stop protecting myself from the people who had hurt me the most? "I'm sorry but this is personal and I don't know you...And you've been together with Jessica." He chuckled at that response for some reason. "Okay then you don't have to trust me but do mind talking to me? Even though i've been together with Jess?"

He didn't seem to understand what they had done to me... He was kind of taking this as a joke and it pissed me off. " No I really don't want to talk to you. You don't seem to get anything 'cuz everything is so perfect and happy in your world but I really don't want associate with anyone who's even touched that slut." He looked at me wide eyed. Probably shocked by my out burst. God why had I exploded like that? Now he wouldn't talk to again and we would have to lie next to each other every day. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have taken that out on you." He was still looking at me wide eyed and his mouth slightly open. He finally seemed to snap out of it and looked away. "No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to force you to tell me anything. Of course you don't want to tell me anything private, I wont do it again I promise." He looked away and I felt guilty again. Damn the Cullen's and their power to make me feel guilty. "I cut myself, and I cut myself because I wanted to end my life and I didn't want to tell you that because that would be just the kind of thing Jessica would love to hear." I blurted out. The lump in my stomach clenched and I regretted I had told him as soon it had left my mouth. But I couldn't take it back and now he knew. I saw how he slowly turned his head to look at me and thankfully he wasn't gaping or anything just staring at me. "I'm sorry..." I looked up at him and now his eyes were full of pity. I sighed, I really hated it when people looked at me with pity. It only confirmed that it was something wrong with me. "Well what can you do?" I smiled as if it was no big deal. "It really sucks that people believes that shit about you" I snorted at him. "And you don't?" He couldn't deny it. Just a few days ago he had looked at me like I was a freak. He looked down at his hands, looking slightly troubled. " I regret that I did because its really fucking rotten to believe it." "When did you change your mind?" It made me smile that he had. I guess I was just glad that my neighbor patient didn't think that I was a disgusting freak. "Just as I started to talk to you." He sighed. Well now it was his turn to feel guilty. "It really makes me one shitty person doesn't it?" I smiled at him. "Its okay, I don't think you can help it." My smile turned teasingly and he scoffed. "Yeah I guess but i'll be better now on." "Sounds good." I answered. Then the door opened and a nurse came in. She started to talking to my neighbor, asking him I he was in pain. He got something that would help him sleep and then she came to me. "How are you feeling miss Swan?" I said I was fine and I got a shot of the sleeping helper as well. But right before I drifted off to unconsciousness I cleared my throat. "Sleep well Edward."

And I heard a distanced "You to Bella." And then let my lids drop.