Peeta became more of a drill sergeant than a husband but we all excelled under his regiment. He also contacted Effie and asked her to send us tapes of the other victors' games so that we could study them and possibly learn some new skills. Peeta took this much more seriously than either myself or Haymitch, watching intently and taking notes but we behaved.

The training continued but, about four months in, only a few months before the reaping my body began to reject the training. My body was sore and tired, most days I couldn't even keep my eyes open through dinner and Peeta had to carry me to bed; the nights were just as bad, I didn't have nightmares like I did before, I had very strange and vivid dreams about nothing in particular, waking up feeling, if possible, even more tired than I had been before falling asleep.

"Prim gave me some of this" Peeta muttered, holding up a bowl of white stuff I recognised as the cream Prim used to soothe our sore muscles. "She knows about us, doesn't she?"

I nod "yes, she mentioned it briefly just before the reading of the card."

"I like Prim" he commented, scooping up some of the mixture and massaging it into my sore legs.

"Prim is very hard not to like" I laugh before groaning quietly as my stomach churned a little.

Peete wrapped his arms around me, once he'd finished applying the cream and moved into the bed beside me "maybe we should take a few days to rest up?" He suggested.

Normally, I'd disagree with him, tell him that we need to do this but I couldn't because I could barely stand up on my sore feet. "That would be nice" I nod before my eyes closed without my permission and I drifted off to sleep with Peeta stroking my hair.

A pang in my stomach woke me the next morning and I was up and out of bed, running for the bathroom, before I could even work out what the time was. I vomited as quietly as I could, trying not to disturb Peeta, before washing up, brushing my teeth and returning to bed feeling tired but not quite as tired as I have been. "Hey" Peeta murmured as I re-joined him "what's up?"

"Probably just my stomach disagreeing with the goat meat we ate yesterday" I reply "don't worry about it, go back to sleep."

I suspect that Peeta may have stopped worrying about it if I hadn't thrown up again the next day or the next. On the fourth consecutive day, when I returned to bed, Peeta was sitting up against the headboard looking worried "Katniss?"

I shook my head, feeling just as worried as he looked "I don't know Peeta" I whisper, not even needing to hear his question.

"Maybe we should see your mother?" He suggested but then retracted that thought at the look on my face. "What about Prim?"

"No" I reply shortly.

"Fine, then what about Haymitch?"

"What the hell is he going to do?" I ask.

"Well I don't know!" Peeta says in flustered exasperation "I don't know what else to suggest, Katniss, but we need to do something."

I nod silently before turning to him. "I'm scared" I admitted "Peeta, what if-"

"We don't know that, do we?" He tells me, looking unconvinced.

Nobody talks to us about sex or things like it because it's not something people do unless they're married (in twelve) but I know, from brief talks with Cinna and Effie and overhearing conversations from my prep team, that the Capitol has something called birth control. It's a little pill that helps to prevent pregnancy but we don't have anything like that here in twelve; if you don't want children then you don't have sex, it's as simple as that. That's what Peeta and I should have done; we should have abstained but neither of us really thought about the consequences of the act, not until now anyway and, of course, it was much too late to abstain.

"Katniss?" He presses when I'm quiet for too long.

"Ok" I nod "let's talk to Haymitch."

We dress and head on over to Haymitch's house and are surprised to find him up, about and sober. "To what do I owe this visit?" He asks as we meet him in the kitchen, he then take a closer look at our faces and stops what he's doing. "What's wrong?" He asks, coming over to us.

"It's-" Peeta starts and then shakes his head. It's the first time I've seen him lost for words.

Haymitch leads us over to his table and makes us a drink; an action that, on any normal day, would have been more shocking than finding him sober. "Katniss?" He asks once he's set three mugs of coffee down on the table and has taken a chair.

We all know that I'm not good with words so Haymitch turning to me for an answer was a last resort but Haymitch isn't stupid. He takes another look at our faces, our entwined fingers and our hesitance before getting up and leaving the room only to return a moment later with three white and pink sticks. "I asked Effie to send me these as soon as you two came clean about your relationship." He dumps them in from of me. "Go pee on one and bring it back" he instructs me. When I didn't move, he sighs and removes the pink end from one of the sticks, revealing some kind of absorbent material; he thrusts the stick back at me and repeats "go pee on it and bring it back." As I reached the end of the hall, he called after me "and bring it back with the cap on!"

I did as I was told, peed on the absorbent bit of the stick, placed the pink cap back on it and took it back down to Haymitch. All the while still completely confused; I'd never seen one of those stick things before.

"How long has it been since your period?" Haymitch asked as I sat back down and handed him the stick.

I blinked at him, did he really just ask me that? Periods, like sex, are not something that is normally discussed. Sometimes the girls talk about it in the toilets at school but, other than that, isn't not a subject one likes to discuss…especially with men. Peeta is an exception, of course, but that's just Peeta; he doesn't care because he likes to make me comfortable when I'm in pain and those cramps are pretty damn painful. Also, seeing Haymitch taking charge of a situation that both Peeta and I are finding difficult to cope with, was pretty strange.

"Sweetheart," Haymitch sighed "I'm assuming that you're not willing to go to your mother so you're left with me and it's probably news to you that, before the games, it was my ambition to become a healer which means knowing things about the human body and anatomy that most people don't. Now, I'll ask you again, when was your last period?"

"I don't know" I whisper honestly; because of everything that's been going on I've just kind of lost track of everything. "They're not regular" I tell him when I saw his face "and I figured with the shock of going back in the arena and the training-" I trailed off.

He nods in understanding before glancing down at the stick as if it was going to tell him something which, by the sigh he let out, it did. "Well, there's no doubt about it; congratulations, you two. You're expecting a brat." He scratched his head for a moment before saying "I'm going to need to examine you to try and determine how far along you are."

My eyes widened "What? No way!"

"Then go to your mother!" He snapped "I'm trying to help you, Katniss!"

"How do I even know that you're telling the truth about what you said and even if it is true, it was years ago! How do I know that you even know what you're talking about?!"

"It is true" Peeta muttered "before she died, his mother was a healer. He used to help her."

"Go look under the stairs, Sweetheart" Haymitch tells me coldly "go on!"

I go and what I find shocks me; there were mountains of medical books under there. "Where did you get them from?" I ask on my return.

"The Capitol. You believe me now?"

I nod. At least I now knew what Haymitch does with his free time when he's not passed out or blind drunk.

Peeta stood beside me as I lay on the bed in the spare room, the only room that had been left untouched and cleaner than the rest of the house. I don't know what Haymitch was doing but, whatever it was, it felt weird. "I can't be sure" he tells me "but I think you're about four months which means you'll be six months gone in the arena."

I cover my face with my hands and feel Peeta sit beside me on the bed. A baby? I was finally letting it sink in and I wasn't happy. How could Peeta and I have been so stupid? So careless? All those conversations with Gale about having children and me saying that I would never bring a child into the world whilst the games were still around. "It'll be ok, Katniss" Peeta tells me gently "we can-"

"We can what?" I ask harshly "I'm going back into the arena, regardless, and there will be three realities. One, I die which means the baby dies with me, two, I get injured and lose the baby or three, I survive the games and the baby is born into this evil world and that's not even looking at what'll happen to you!" I move off the bed and head for the door, Peeta follows. "No, Peeta!" I snap "I'm going home, I need to be alone right now." And I stalk off.

My mother and Prim were both out so I stomped up the stairs to my bedroom and slammed my door without worrying about them coming up to ask me what was wrong. Though they usually know to avoid me when I'm in one of my bad moods.

It was unfair of me to be taking this out on Peeta who'd been nothing but loving and supportive but I was terrified. I already loved this baby so much and the thought of losing it terrified me but the thought of it surviving terrified me even more. How could I let my child go through what I'd gone through? How selfish was I to do that?

I punched my bedroom wall before shoving a pillow to my face and screaming into it. I then collapsed onto my bed and let myself fall into a dark, cold, world as I wallowed by myself.

It had gone midday by the time I became aware of myself again and I felt my stomach rumbling. I'd forgotten to eat this morning. I got up from my bed and patted my stomach before frowning; I'd put on a little weight due to the new diet my mother had put the three of us on but this didn't feel like it should.

Moving around my room, I stepping in front of the mirror which was attached to my door before pulling my top up and finding that my stomach was protruding a little; not enough for other people to notice but I knew my body so I knew that this wasn't what my stomach should look like when gaining weight. I pushed my top back down and turned away from the mirror and the reminder of the life I'd selfishly brought about.

The next few days was spent hauled up in my room, ignoring everything and everyone. My mother and Prim came in a few times, telling me that it's going to be ok; they seemed to think that I was finally freaking out over having to go back into the arena. At least Haymitch hadn't let slip my condition to them. Had to give him credit for that, I suppose.

I was still surprised about what Haymitch had told us, about having been aspiring to become a healer; I wondered how different he'd be if his name hadn't been called for the games. I wondered if district twelve would have had a skilled healer, other than my mother of course. I wondered how different Haymitch would be, if he'd married and had children of his own. And then I felt sorry for him, sorry for the future he'd lost because the odds hadn't been in his favour.

Sitting up, I discovered that someone had braided my hair; I hadn't even realised that I'd been that out of it. I also discovered that Peeta was asleep on the floor, opposite my bed. "Peeta" I mumbled, realising just how selfish I'd been, this was his baby too and I was hauled up in my bedroom feeling sorry for myself rather than leaning on him for support as he'd lean on me. I crawled out of bed and made my way over to him, sliding down the wall and sitting beside him. I clasped his hand in mine, waking him up as our skin made contact. "I'm sorry" I tell him as I felt tears slide from my eyes, betraying me. "I'm so sorry, Peeta; I'm being selfish again."

"Hey" he embraced me, as he does when I'm upset "you're not being Selfish" he tells me. "I know that it's different for you; you're the one who's carrying out baby so it's you that has to be careful. I understand."

I shake my head before kissing him. Upon releasing him, I say "how could I not love you, Peeta?"

At my words, he smiles before pulling me in for another kiss. This one was soft and gentle, just like Peeta. "Haymitch wants to talk to you" he tells me, his lips still against mine.

"What about?"

"Our new plan."