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Chapter 3
For ten minutes, Sam had screamed for the other three to stay away from him, claiming he didn't want to be touched. It had taken Puck playing his guitar and Kurt singing for the blonde to calm down. Blaine left the other three in the living-room and collected the first aid box from the bathroom. Dropping to his knees by the coffee table, Blaine opened the box and pulled out gauze and bandages and other things to patch up Sam's injuries.
After a further five minutes in which Sam remained completely silent, his eyes vacant as he stared out at nothing in particular, the blonde finally allowed Kurt to touch him. However, he still refused to have Puck or Blaine too close to him.
"Sam, we need to get you washed up ok, baby." Kurt said gently. "I need to help you out of your clothes. Is… is that ok?" He asked tentatively not willing to startle Sam and cause him to reject his touch again.
"I'm dirty." Sam croaked out and Kurt was sure he didn't mean muddy dirty.
"Don't worry beautiful, we'll get you cleaned up." Puck told him.
"I'm not beautiful." Sam objected. "I'm filthy, disgusting. I'm just a whore." He spat viciously making the other three wince at the sharp tone in his voice and the harsh words that accompanied it.
"You're not a whore." Kurt replied reaching a hand out to cup Sam's cheek. "Don't even think that."
Sam shied away from Kurt's touch before letting out a hiss of pain when he moved his broken arm.
"I'm going to undress you now," Kurt warned. "Please stay calm for me."
Nodding his head, Sam closed his eyes as Kurt used a pair of scissors that Blaine handed to him so he could cut Sam out of his shirt. He wouldn't have to force movement on Sam's injured arm that way.
"That's good baby, you're doing so well, you're being so brave." Puck said encouragingly as Kurt got to work on removing Sam's jeans.
"Please don't look at me." Sam begged drawing his knees up to his chest and trying to shield his body from view. "I don't want you looking at me. I don't want you to see me like this. Don't look. Don't look. DON'T FUCKING LOOK!" He bellowed making to throw his arms in the air and then howling as pain shot up his broken arm.
"Relax, it's ok, just breathe baby, just breathe." Kurt soothed.
"Please don't look." Sam whispered.
"Hey, sweetie, you look the same to me." Kurt told him petting his hair. "You're still our angel."
"We should move to the bathroom." Puck said.
"But I've set things up here." Blaine pointed out gesturing to the coffee table where items from the first aid kit were spread out.
"He's not ready for us to touch him yet," Puck replied. "Kurt should clean him off first then we can bring him back. He'll be more comfortable when we've washed away the sick and the blood and the… cum."
"I can hear you, I'm not deaf." Sam stated. "Stop talking about me like I'm not here."
"Sorry." Puck apologised raking a hand through his mohawk. "Sam, we need to clean you up. Do you think you can let me carry you again?"
"I'll walk." Sam replied determinedly.
"Is he ok to walk?" Puck asked looking to Blaine.
"He's fine, it's only his arm that's broken," Blaine answered. "His legs and ankles are fine. Walking is going to hurt you though Sam, the damage to your… anus will make walking difficult."
"I'll walk." Sam repeated.
"Ok, ok baby, if that's what you want." Kurt placated. "Just lean on me ok, I'll help you." He stood up but the blonde had yet to move. He was still sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest. "Sam?"
"Can I wear your bathrobe?" Sam asked looking up at him with his big eyes.
"Of course." Kurt nodded moving to get it but Sam latched on to his arm, the purple feather tickling Kurt's skin where it pressed against him from being in Sam's hand still.
"Don't leave me." Sam said.
"I'll get it." Puck offered before moving to their shared bedroom.
As Sam dropped his hand, the purple feather floated down onto the carpet. Kurt bent down and picked it up before placing it on the coffee table. Sam gazed at the feather as though in a trance until Puck returned and handed the bathrobe over. Carefully, Kurt helped Sam place his good arm through the sleeve and just draped it over the shoulder of his broken arm before tying it so that most of his body was covered from view. Lightly placing an arm securely around Sam's waist, Kurt helped the blonde walk to the bathroom. It was evident from the expression on Sam's features and the groans emitting from his throat that walking was causing him serious pain. All three boys wished they could wash the pain away but they new it was not possible.
Entering the bathroom, Kurt helped Sam climb into the empty tub then slipped off the robe and set it aside on the floor. He then reached for the shower head and asked Sam how he'd like the temperature but the blonde only shrugged in response, quietly whimpering to himself.
"Make it lukewarm." Blaine suggested from where he stood leaning against the door. Puck was sitting on the toilet, wanting to be closer to Sam and offer him more comfort but knowing Sam wasn't ready for his touch yet.
Shower head in hand, Kurt turned the water on and tested the temperature on his other hand as the water streamed out. Please with the warmth, he got to work on cleaning Sam off. The blonde recoiled as the droplets hit him and Kurt tried his best to comfort him. He wetted Sam's hair and washed all the mess completely off of Sam's face and neck before picking up a flannel and gently wiping away at his torso.
"Oh Sam." Kurt sighed sadly as he washed some dried blood away from one of the other man's nipples. He moved the shower head round to Sam's back to clean him off there. "I need you to lean forward for me, baby." He said gently. "I need to wash your… um… I need to clean you down there." He explained looking down at Sam's ass, for once not admiring his boyfriend's behind in a perverted way.
"No." Sam responded shaking his head violently. "No I don't want you to see that."
"Sam, you need to get cleaned up." Blaine told him reasonably.
"I'll do it myself." Sam insisted.
"Babe you can't." Puck spoke up. "Just let Kurt do it for you. You've been doing so well tonight, you've been so brave. We just need you to keep being brave and let us help you."
"Help me." Sam sneered. "Where were you earlier when I needed your help? Where the fuck were you? You weren't looking out for me. You probably didn't even notice I was gone. He was right. He said no-one cared, that none of you would come to save me. He was right."
"No." Kurt cried adamantly. "Sam, whatever that monster said to you wasn't true. Look, we messed up. We should have been there for you tonight and we weren't, but baby, we are so sorry. I hate that this happened to you. I'm so sorry but please, please don't believe anything that Neanderthal said. You mean the world to us; nothing's going to change that, nothing."
"That's true Sammy; you mean everything to me, to us." Puck implored.
"We'll never forgive ourselves for what you had to go through tonight." Blaine said. "But we can help you heal. You just have to let us help you. You trust us right, baby?"
"I don't know, I don't know." Sam sobbed, the water still cascading down his back. "The things he said. He was right. I believe him. He was right. I am just a whore. He said it, so did you." He mumbled. "You were talking about me like I was just a toy, saying that you could get money if you passed me around."
"You said what?" Kurt asked in an angry whisper glaring between Puck and Blaine, both of whom looked deeply ashamed.
"We were just… oh fuck, we didn't mean… shit, we didn't mean it." Puck replied unsure of what he could say to make the situation better. After a few more attempts at explaining himself, he realised there was nothing he could say to excuse his and Blaine's foolish words from earlier that night.
"I'm just a whore." Sam sniffed.
"No you're not." Blaine replied in a weak voice. "We're so sorry. You deserve better than us. We should have treated you better, we will treat you better."
"Just be quiet, both of you." Kurt ordered. "Neither of you are being much help right now."
Puck and Blaine shared a devastated look before they both hung their heads in submission.
"Sam, honey, I really need you to bend over so I can clean you up." Kurt said gently. "Please, just lean over for me as best as you can. Lean on your good arm for support and I'll clean you up as quickly as I can ok."
With his free hand on Sam's lower back, Kurt gently guided him forwards so that he could move the shower head down lower and clean away the blood and cum at the back of his thighs and in and around his anus. Tentatively, Kurt reached his hand out and lightly pushed one of Sam's butt-cheeks so he could wash the abused hole. As soon as the water made contact with Sam's violated entrance the blonde freaked out.
He yelled for Kurt to get away from him and then lashed out, striking Kurt in the face with his uninjured arm. At the collision, Kurt stumbled backwards and crashed to the floor, dropping the shower head in the process. The water sprayed upwards, hundreds of droplets falling back down onto the tiled bathroom floor as Sam cowered in the bathtub, clutching his broken arm to his chest and still hissing for the other three to keep away.
"Shit, what do we do?" Puck asked sounding a little panicked as he helped Kurt to his feet, turning his face towards him to inspect the damage of Sam's hit.
"I'm fine." Kurt insisted batting Puck's hands away and waving off Blaine's concerns. "Sam, Sam, please calm down, love. It's only me, Kurt. I won't hurt you. I could never hurt you, sweetheart. Just breathe for me, breathe."
"Get out!" Sam yelled at them. "I don't want you here. Just leave me alone. Please, just leave me alone. Oh fuck." He sobbed out, his right and uninjured arm moving down to touch his opening, the contact producing a pained hiss from his large lips. "It hurts. It hurts so bad."
"It's ok, we're here Sam. Let us help you." Kurt cooed moving closer to the man in the tub, the shower head still on the floor wasting its water on the tile. "You're so brave and so strong. You're going to get through this. We all will. We love you, Sam, we love you so much."
"It hurts, ow, ow, it hurts." Sam cried.
"I don't like this." Puck said. "We should get him to the hospital."
"No, no hospital. I don't want to." Sam argued. "Just get out. Stop looking at me like that. Just get out."
"Sam, baby…" Puck tried to say but Sam simply reached for the shampoo bottle with his good arm and threw it at the Jewish man.
"Get the fuck out!" Sam yelled as the bottle hit Puck in the chest.
"Noah, Blaine, go back to the living-room." Kurt said quietly but firmly.
"But Kurt…" Blaine tried to object but he fell silent upon being on the receiving end of Kurt's icy don't-fuck-with-me-bitch glare. "Call if you need us. And be careful with his arm. We'll definitely need to take him to the hospital and sort it out first thing in the morning."
Taking Blaine's hand, Puck cast a sorrowful look at his other two boys before leading Blaine back to the living-room. The two sat down on the couch together and Blaine situated himself in Puck's lap and burrowed into his warmth.
"I don't know what we're supposed to do." Blaine whispered.
"Just wait." Puck replied holding him tight. "At the moment there's nothing we can do."
"This is all our fault, isn't it?" Blaine asked.
"Yeah." Puck answered, choking on the syllable as a sob journeyed up his throat and slipped past his lips. "If we hadn't teased him earlier or… fuck if we hadn't gone out or if we'd kept a better eye on him. Shit, when Kurt came and told us he couldn't find Sam I shouldn't have been so calm about it. I should have ripped the place apart to find him and then beat the hell out of whatever sick fucker did this to him."
"We should have taken him to the hospital," Blaine said. "Or called the police. Oh shit. Noah, we weren't there for him. Sam really needed us and we weren't there. Fuck, he must have been so terrified."
"Ssh, try not to think about it." Puck soothed pressing a kiss to Blaine's temple. "I know we fucked up tonight, we can't go back and undo our asshole behaviour. We just have to stay strong and be here for Sam now."
"The way he looked at us," Blaine sighed. "He was so scared, so betrayed. What if he never lets us touch him again? What if he's too traumatized about what happened to him tonight? What if he's broken?"
"Don't think like that." Puck replied. "Our boy's strong. He'll get through this, we'll help him. We'll get through this together."
"He was raped, Noah." Blaine acknowledged with a gasp and Puck shut his eyes upon hearing the vile word. "We were jerks tonight. Sam's never been a jerk. It should have been us getting…" he shook his head unable to complete the sentence. "It shouldn't have been Sam. Our… our boyfriend was raped."
"I know." Puck sobbed clutching Blaine tighter. "Fuck, I know."
Back inside the bathroom, Kurt had been on the receiving end of a few more hits from Sam but he refused to leave the blonde man alone. With more singing and soothing words, Kurt managed to clean away the mess around Sam's anus. He had to join the boy in the bathtub to do it. The arrangement was awkward. When Kurt tried to clean him from behind, Sam freaked out too much, his mind returning him to the alley way and what happened with Nathan.
Eventually, Kurt had kneeled in front of Sam so the blonde could see it was him, not the rapist. As he circled his arms around Sam's body and aimed the shower head at his rear while using the flannel in his other hand, Kurt took great care not to jostle Sam's broken arm and the blonde bit into Kurt's shoulder to stifle his screams. The bite was painful for Kurt but he accepted the small throbbing pain to his shoulder since it seemed to help Sam.
"Nearly done now." Kurt said soothingly being as gentle as he could while tending to Sam's butchered and abused buttocks. "There, all clean."
"How can you stand to touch me?" Sam asked in confusion. "I'm… I'm dirty, used, spoiled. I'm just trash. A worthless whore. How can you even cope with being anywhere near me?"
"Hey, you are not worthless or spoiled or any of those things." Kurt insisted bringing a hand up to rest lightly on Sam's cheek. "What happened tonight was awful. But you're still Samuel Evans, my adorable and dorky blonde angel. I love you. Never forget that ok? I love you."
"I hit you." Sam sniffed reaching his hand out to touch Kurt's face, his fingers trembling slightly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Ssh," Kurt soothed petting Sam's damp hair. "Don't worry about me. Let's just focus on helping you. Are you ready to go back to the living-room so Blaine can strap your arm up?"
"You'll stay with me won't you?" Sam asked.
"Of course." Kurt responded. "I'm not going anywhere, love."
Moving slowly and carefully, Kurt stepped out of the bath before helping Sam out. The blonde man stood in the nude, trembling a little under Kurt's gaze at the pale-skinned man towelled him dry before arranging his bathrobe around Sam again. He made to lead the blonde back to the living-room but Sam paused them before they reached the bathroom door.
"I'm sorry." Sam apologised.
"What for? You haven't done anything wrong." Kurt told him.
"I let him… I let him h-hurt me." Sam replied shutting his eyes, something in his expression telling Kurt that the blonde was reliving the real-life nightmare he'd been put through that night. "I should have come to find one of you, or just stayed in the club. It was stupid to go outside alone."
"It isn't your fault. No-one's to blame apart from the sick creature that did this to you." Kurt responded. "Open your eyes," he instructed and Sam lifted his eyelids to meet Kurt's gentle stare. "You're safe now."
"I should have fought harder or ran faster." Sam said. "I just… I didn't fight hard enough. I let him inside my head, listened to his cruel words… I just gave up. You must think I'm so pathetic."
"I'd never think that of you." Kurt assured him. "It wasn't your fault."
"He… he r-raped me." Sam stuttered finally speaking the words aloud rather than just thinking them in his head. "He raped me."
"Oh baby, I love you." Kurt told him pulling Sam into a loose embrace, feeling the blonde man tremble a little. "I love you so much."
Together, they made their way to the living-room where Puck and Blaine were comforting one another on the couch.
"Hey beautiful." Puck greeted Sam.
"Hey." Sam mouthed back, his voice seeming to have abandoned him.
"Can I take a look at you?" Blaine asked gently.
Sam turned to Kurt with a worried expression.
"Relax, its only Blaine." Kurt pointed out. "He's the only one here who knows how to treat you. I'll be right here with you."
"Ok." Sam whispered and Puck and Blaine moved off the sofa so Sam could sit.
With Kurt at Sam's side, Blaine began the task of strapping up his broken arm, covering some of the nastier scrapes he'd received elsewhere with gauze and offering him a tablet to ease the pain. Things became tense when Blaine had to spread Sam's legs so he could inspect his abused hole but Kurt was able to help Sam through it with minimal difficulty.
"Sam, I hate to ask, but I have to," Blaine said apologetically. "Did… did the man who… did your attacker use a condom?"
"Of course he didn't." Puck answered on the blonde's behalf. "You saw the cum over his face and up his ass."
"Noah." Kurt said warningly, glaring at Puck for his bluntness.
"I just need to be sure." Blaine said.
"He didn't." Sam whimpered.
"Ok, then tomorrow when we get your arm treated at the hospital we'll need to have you… tested." Blaine explained. "Baby, we need to make sure your attacker didn't… transfer a disease on to you." He said uncomfortably.
"We'll deal with that tomorrow." Puck said. "Sam, is there anything you need right now? Drink, food?"
Sam just shook his head in response and the four fell into silence.
"It's been a rough night," Blaine commented. "We should get to bed."
Upon hearing those words, Sam stiffened and his eyes widened in panic. It was Puck who noticed his reaction.
"You can take the bed." Puck told the blonde. "Kurt can have the couch and me and Blaine will floor it tonight. We'll floor it for as long as you need us to."
"I don't… I don't want to be alone." Sam admitted. "I want Kurt with me."
"Ok, ok that's fine." Puck said trying to force a smile even though it hurt him deeply that Sam couldn't handle being near him in such a way right now. "Whatever you need. I love you ok."
"Ok." Sam replied.
"Come on, angel." Kurt said helping the blonde to his feet so they could make their way to the bedroom. "Goodnight." He said quietly to Puck and Blaine.
"Night." The two men responded together.
Before leaving, Sam reached for the purple feather on the coffee table and held it safely in his right hand as he allowed Kurt to escort him to their bedroom.
After helping Sam out of the bathrobe and into a pair of loose sweatpants and a baggy top, Kurt pulled back the quilt of their queen-sized bed and Sam crawled onto the mattress. Tucking him in, Kurt pressed a soft kiss to the blonde's forehead, making him jump a little and take in a breath.
"Sorry if I scared you." Kurt apologised before finding his way out of his own clothing and into his own silk pajamas. He pulled the feathers out of his hair but ditched his normal skin-care routine and didn't even bother brushing his teeth. Fresh breath had little importance in comparison to the horrors that had transpired that night. "I love you." Kurt said as he slipped in beside Sam, careful not to get too close and frighten him.
"Love you too." Sam whispered. "Keep it on." He said when Kurt made to switch off the bedside lamp.
For a while, the two lay side by side, neither one of them finding sleep. Being careful of his broken arm, Sam shifted closer to Kurt and rested his head upon the slender male's chest. He closed his eyes, but flashes of what Nathan had subjected him to burned through his mind so he soon opened them again. He listened to the sound of Kurt's heartbeat for a while before lifting his head up.
"I want Blaine and Noah." Sam pleaded.
"I'll get them." Kurt smiled softly making to get out of the bed.
"No, don't leave, just call for them." Sam begged.
"We're here, baby, we're right here." Blaine said as he pushed open the bedroom door and he and Puck stepped through. They had been resting on the floor together right outside the bedroom.
"Just… try not to… not to touch me too much." Sam said.
Quickly changing into their own nightwear, Puck and Blaine joined the other two on the large bed. Blaine snuggled up behind Kurt, lightly resting his hand on Sam's head then running his fingers through the blonde hair. Sam flinched a little but didn't move his head from its position on Kurt's chest. He slowly relaxed and almost purred at the feel of Blaine's fingers running through his golden tresses.
Puck climbed onto the bed behind Sam and the blonde tensed up. His breathing came out faster and it took a lot for him to remind himself that it was Puck behind him and not Nathan.
"Just me, babe." Puck assured him. "Nothing to fear ok."
It took almost an hour for Sam to feel at ease enough to allow Puck to curl up behind him. He managed to find comfort in his mohawked boyfriend's warmth and he finally allowed for Blaine to turn off the light. Squeezing the purple feather in the palm of his hand, he turned his head to press his lips to Kurt's clothed chest.
"Love you," Sam whispered. "All of you."
"We love you too." The three of them replied in unison.
"Goodnight." Sam said shakily not sure if he was truly ready to brave sleep, knowing that Nathan would be waiting for him in his nightmares.
"Rest now," Kurt soothed gently. "My brave little survivor."
"Survivor." Sam repeated tightening his hold on the feather before relaxing his grip and allowing sleep to claim him.
The following morning, the other three men were woken by Sam's terrified screams. The blonde had woken only to freak out when he felt Puck's morning wood pressing against his rear.
To Be Continued
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