3

Ianto was watching them all splutter and roar, the woman … Haversham simply running from the room like he was about to scalp her or something.

When the phone in his pocket started to vibrate and he rose calmly "Excuse me. It's our son's school."

Ianto then turned to face Jack as he looked at the text message "Sorry Cariad, have to go. Our son has locked himself in the classroom with a number of children in what appears to be a protest over the juice boxes."

"Oh for Godsake" Jack sighed, waving his hand as he said to one of the stupefied UNIT bigwigs "Little bugger reads all the content things on the side of the packets. He clearly found one with too much sugar or something."

"How…how old is he?"

"Five in a few months" Jack said happily "Sooooo cheeky."

"And … can read all the nutritional information?" another asked.

"Oh, I caught him reading some book on metaphysics Tosh left lying around. Even I get a headache with that and I had to learn that about a hundred and thirty odd years ago" Jack laughed as he rose to follow Ianto, the room silent and still as statues while the words lingered.

"You lot REALLY need to read shit" Owen said in the doorway as he looked at them with open glee, unable to resist watching Ianto at work "Well? You can all leave now, clearly the Captain has ended this."

.

.

.

"Heath, I understand your anger but I do not think a sit in was the correct course of action" Ianto said as he helped his son out of his jersey, the angry little face that appeared as the head popped out of the woolen jumper showing that Heath thought there could have been no other possible course of action.

"It was not even real meat!" his little voice snarled with indignation "I think it was horse."

"Now … OK. I can't argue with you there" Jack grimaced "It looked gross."

Ianto knew he would not win the argument now, the little chick defiantly raising his chin to match his father. Jack realized a beat too late that he had given the chick the high ground and could only shrug.

"Well … if you are going to be suspended before we even get you into school for real … I don't know what we will do with you" Ianto leaned back against the sofa, letting the red setter sit on his legs. "I do know one thing though and your dogs will not like you for it."

"What?" Heath asked, his foot half way into the slipper Jack was holding for him, the little child gripping his shoulder for stability.

"There can be no weekend at the cabin now." Ianto sighed, both of his men gasping with horror as they saw that he meant it, Heath howling with anger.

"Aw, come on" Jack whined "Owen and Tosh are coming out so me and Owen can try out the new quad bike!"

"New Quad bike?" Heath gasped, "you kept that quiet!"

"Was supposed to be a secret surprise" Jack replied as he wrestled the second slipper onto his son's foot "We were going to have a weekend of fun and racing about. Damn it."

Heath stared at Jack with his face morphing from horror to despair, turning to wail at Ianto with huge tears rolling down his face "Ahhhhhhh Taddddaaaaaaaaa"

Ianto rose and started peeling potatoes as he looked out the window at the bird bath.

"PLEEEASSSSSEEEEE"

Jack groaned as Heath now slid to the floor, starfishing as he roared and tantrumed. Ianto knew he was gonna cave and gave him the warning glare that had him moving to the other room with the excuse that he needed to check the fire.

Ianto returned his gaze to the naughty little beast who had stopped his tantrum to take a breath.

"Keep it up, just keep going and you might find yourself missing two weekends there" Ianto warned and Heath was suddenly still.

Ianto entered the living room and was about to settle in his chair when Heath entered, his eyes roving about and he walked over to the fire Jack had lit, was still kneeling at and picked up a glass globe from the mantle, looking Ianto in the eye as he threw it into the flames.

Ianto shot to his feet with horror as a picture frame joined it.

"JACK!"

Jack reacted as a tiny little pink My Little Pony was in the child's hand now "Heath! Don't you dare. That has sentimental .."

Heath threw it.

Jack snapped his hand into the flames, crying out with pain as he was burned, pulling out the pony to check it even as his hand blistered.

"Oh Cariad, your hand" Ianto gasped, kneeling to inspect it, then sighing as the misshapen pony fell to the floor. "It's done. Ruined."

"No… our first romantic meal" Jack said softly "Our first real date night."

"Not our last" Ianto said sadly as he picked up the damaged toy, "We still have the memory this invited."

Jack nodded, then looked past Ianto at the horrified child who was still watching his father's hand continue to blister "Heath. Bed. Now!"

In.

Deep.

Dada.

Shit.