Hello again, my friends. I want you all to know that those who fail to review run the risk of having Floating Skull devour your soul.

Flt. Sk.: Floating Skull has been kind so far, but Floating Skull will proceed to devour souls without hesitation.

G.F.: Know that the kizzlin ain't bizzlin!

B.B.: Ghetto Felix says that DRX9 isn't satanic. Floating Skull is evil of his own free will. He's not very good at it though.

Flt. Sk.: Silence, puny green mortal!

Enough already. Enjoy the chap.

Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!

Hyrule Field

"There!" Jet pointed to Death Mountain. "Go there and take this stupid letter with you." He handed Link the letter. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the shooting gallery." He walked back into town as Link and Navi started for the ranch.

"Hey, wait!" called Ivan. "Aren't we going to the mountain?"

Link and Navi shared a knowing glance. "We've got stuff to do first."

"Well, hurry up," replied Ivan. "The sun's setting."

As if on cue, a loud howl cut across the field. Link braced himself for battle, but was surprised when several grey men popped out of the ground.

"What the…!" exclaimed Link. "Those things aren't Stalchildren!"

"I believe they're Putty Patrollers," said Ivan calmly.

"They're what?"

"Putty Patrollers," repeated Ivan. "They were the foot soldiers for Rita Repulsa in the first season of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers."

Link sighed while Navi just stared in disbelief. "Power Rangers?" Ivan nodded. "You've gotta be kiddin' me!"

"Don't worry." Ivan smiled. "I know how to deal with this." He thrust his arms out in front of him. "It's morphing time! Dragon Zord!" The trio waited, but nothing happened. "…Okay, that was my plan. Your turn," he said, looking at Link.

Link swore and charged into battle. Ivan helped where he could. They weren't tough, but they came in groups of five and seemed endless. Link, knowing that he had to hold out 'til sunrise, slowly led the battle towards Lon Lon Ranch. After what seemed like an eternity, day finally broke. The trio stumbled into the ranch and collapsed on the ground.

Lon Lon Ranch

After sleeping for eleven hours, the team awoke completely refreshed. Ivan stared up into the sky and gasped. "The sun! It's exactly where it was when we went to sleep!"

"Of course," said Navi through a yawn. "Time doesn't pass while in towns, dungeons, etc."

While Ivan pondered this, Link went into the ranch to talk to Homer, who looked happy to see him. "How's it going, Link?" asked Homer from his spot on the floor.

"Hmm, not bad. So can I play the chicken finding game?" asked Link.

"Nah, then I'd have to get up. Just take the bottle." He held it out for Link to take.

"Hey, thanks," Link took the bottle, but recoiled instantly. "Man, this thing reeks of alcohol."

"Yeah, that'll happen." Homer laughed. "I got that from my barkeeper."

"Barkeeper?" asked a bewildered Link.

"Yeah. I was supposed to have a ranch hand, but we don't do any actual work here, so that author guy gave me a tavern to keep myself occupied."

Link shook his head and walked outside. Indeed, it seemed that across from the house was an unusual looking building sporting the word 'Moe's' over the door. He walked inside to find a homely looking stranger tending the bar. Sitting around it were several depressed and depressing looking people.

"Hey, no minors!" screamed the barkeep, presumably named Moe. Link was about to respond when the phone rang. Moe picked it up. "Moe's tavern. Uh huh. Yeah, just a sec," he put his hand over the speaker. "Amanda Huggenkiss! Hey everybody, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss!"

"Well, maybe you should lower your standards!" shouted one of the drunkards amongst the roars of laughter.

"Wait a minute," muttered Moe. Turning back to the phone, he shouted, "If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna gouge your eyes out with a wooden spoon!"

Without blinking, Link slowly backed out of the bar. Not uttering a word to his comrades, he learned Epona's Song, got the Heart Piece, and headed for the Lost Woods.

Lost Woods

"So tell me, why did you stop to play along with those Skull Kids?" asked Ivan.

"Simple, for this." Link held up a Heart Piece. "Combined with the other three I already have, it becomes a Heart Container." He demonstrated by combining the four together to raise his max Hearts. "And my new Heart goes great with this new Biggest Deku Seed Bag."

"Quit bragging, Link," muttered Navi.

"Yes, you're making my diodes hurt," said a voice from above. The team looked up to see Marvin sitting on a branch. "I know how you can get through the forest but you probably wouldn't listen."

"You're right," agreed Link. "We wouldn't." Leaving the depressed robot behind, Link led the way through the all-too-familiar path of the Lost Woods.

Sacred Forest Meadow

Disposing of the Wolfos and the Mad Shrubs, the trio approached Starfire, who seemed to have forgotten about her earlier rage.

"Friend Link!" exclaimed Starfire. "You have returned! This is most wonderful. I shall now perform for you a traditional Tameranian Folksong." She opened her mouth and let a ghastly wail escape her lips. It was all Link and co. could do just to protect their ears. When she was finished, Link was annoyed to see the staff with the notes appear in front of him. Slowly and painfully, Link copied the notes of the song. It was in this fashion that Link learned Starfire's Song.

Lost Woods

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" groaned Ivan as they left the meadow.

"I see you learned the song from the alien girl," murmured Marvin from his branch.

"Yeah, and I hate it!" snapped Link.

"Not as much as you hate me, though. Don't even try to deny it!" he snapped and Link opened his mouth. "I met a Skull Kid in the forest and tried to explain my view of the universe to him. And do you know what happened?" The trio shook their heads. "He bludgeoned himself to death with this!" he held out a Heart Piece. "I can't use it, so you might as well have it." He dropped it on the ground. "Don't thank me or anything."

Marvin used rocket jets to fly off as Link collected the Heart Piece. The Skull Kid corpse was later found and eaten by a Deku Shrub. No one cared.

That's it. Tune in next time.

Acoryst: I already have someone in mind for Darunia. But you can count on a Jack Sparrow appearance sometime.

Numdenu: I don't really know anything about Fire Emblem. All I know of Marth and Roy are from Super Smash Bros. Melee., but nothing about their personality.

Catch ya'll later.

Floating Skuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull!