A/N: Welcome back! I want to thank: MissMisc3, skycord1990, ForeverACharmedOne, TinkerbellxO, Makrciana, runs with myths, CharlieCats, BlooperLover, nuckythompson, Emma, Jandra1969, XantheXV, dionne dance and LabyFan23.

Thank you all for your comments and encouragement.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dark Shadows.

Chapter 3

'Those who do not weep, do not see.'

~Victor Hugo, Les Miserables

"How was your latest trip to the Caribbean, James? I am sure you have already seen so much, but still."

My mother speaks up and I frown. Why does she always have to do this? These questions scream of curiosity and arrogance. Is she testing him?

I look at my fiancé but he simply smiles at her.

"It was good, madam. Tedious would be a more accurate word for I miss this place." His eyes fall on me and I flush. My mother eyes me with disapproval but I am not letting her get to me.

"Indeed." Mother murmurs, "And when do you plan on settling down? Surely a marriage cannot be steady when you have to travel all the time."

My eyes widen on their own accord and suddenly I hope my father gets here soon. He's the only one to save me and James from my mother's displeasure.

"Then perhaps, someone should earn a living for me, madam-…"

"Come, come." I speak up in a high pitched voice and James' eyes snap to me. I can see the anger in them and I plead with him with my eyes not to continue this. I love him but his temper is not appropriate for my mother's constant nagging. We all know she doesn't like him.

"I am going to call Papa, so we can all be on our way." I smile but as I try to move back I feel James' hand on my wrist. I gasp and I can feel my mother's glare on our joined hands.

"I am sure he'll come soon." He tells me and I frown at him. He is odd sometimes. Possessive, stubborn; harsh. But that is mostly when he is angry or irritated. I don't know if I should have paid more attention to those characteristics but…I love him. After all, no one is perfect, right?

I settle back next to him and he lets go of my hand. I smooth the silk shawl around my shoulders and I can feel his gaze on me as my mother heads for the stairs to call my father.

"Is this totally appropriate?" he murmurs and I frown.

"I am sorry?"

"The dress. Don't you think it's a little revealing?" he eyes my collarbones with a cocked eyebrow and I blush.

"It's the latest fashion." I say. Whatever is wrong with my clothes? Mother approved it and that says a lot.

Feeling a bit out of place, I start wondering if I should change.

"Shall I-…" I start but I am cut off by him as he places a kiss on the side of my head.

"I am sorry. I am just…stifled in here. Forgive me." He murmurs and I swallow hard, "I hope the Collins' home is refreshing." He smiles and I return it albeit a bit hesitantly.

"It's a mansion not a house." I say and he chuckles.

"Indeed."

" Have you ever been to one of their balls?" I ask and he smirks a bit, causing me to frown.

"Once or twice." He replies and at my odd look he clears his throat and shakes his head, "No matter. It was a couple of years ago."

I nod. Of course. He's older than me. I was not of age to attend such fancy gatherings. I blink and try to push back any suspicious thoughts that have to do with James and his conduct. He has never made me jealous…not seriously jealous anyway.

My tangled thoughts are interrupted when Papa arrives with my mother and he smiles at me. My heart is immediately warmer. My father tends to have that effect on me. He can make me smile, he can make me happy.

Once he sees me, he walks over and takes my hand. James frowns but my father is quick to interrupt him.

"You shall excuse me if I steal her for tonight?"

Without waiting for a response, he tucks my hand in the crook of his elbow and leads me towards the door.

James falters but then turns to my mother who eyes him with irk.

"Madam." He bows and not knowing what else to do she takes his hand and follows us out of the door.

I try not to let it get to me. Their mutual dislike is palpable in the air around us but it is nothing unusual. As we head to the carriage, I try to forget it and enjoy the evening.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Go and dance." My mother insists as we are both standing close to the large balcony doors of Collinwood.

"I am a bit preoccupied right now, mother." I murmur as I gaze around the large parlor that is as efficient for a ballroom as the largest palace hall that exists in this world.

"How? Watching while your fiancé dances with various dames?" she asks in a hiss and I turn to look at her.

"Why are you doing this?" my fingers tighten around the wine glass, "There was more than one lady without a partner. Don't you know what politeness is?" I frown and she rolls her eyes.

"Good God, child. You're so blinded by your feelings that you cannot tell right from wrong."

I actually flush and gaze at my drink, "Mother-…'

"Mother and mother! I will not be silenced when such indecency is taking place right in front of my eyes!" she whispers and I look at James as he twirls a curvaceous redhead around the dance floor.

"You always say that women should obey." I remind her and she sighs.

"Only when that gives you power over your betrothed or husband. This is ridiculous! Leaving you alone so he can enjoy his time…You must find a partner." She says the last sentence rather loudly and my eyes widen as people actually turn to gaze at us.

"Mama!" I gasp as I cover my mouth with my hand.

"Mama, what, child? You look like a withered flower." She exclaims in a hushed voice and I want the earth to open up and swallow me; right now.

"Then I shall be the water. Madam?" a male voice states and I look up. My eyes widen when I see who is standing in front of me with his hand outstretched in invitation. Barnabas Collins' golden ring is glimmering in the various candle lights of the room and he has a gentle smile upon his face. He is dressed in a dark blue assemble of clothes and his crisp white shirt is peeking from his vest and overcoat. The brocade on the neck and sleeves of his coat seems rather intricate and I blink as I remember that he has just offered me a dance.

"I…"

"She'd be delighted to." My mother exclaims rather jubilantly and I part my lips to speak, to state that James would be angry if-…

I stop right there. I shouldn't care. I am the one who has been left alone all evening.

Feeling a bit peculiar, I let him take my hand and he pulls me gracefully to the middle of the room. He places his hand firmly against my lower back and then pulls me closer until my forehead is literally brushing his chin. He is quite taller than me.

He allows me a moment to tighten my hand on his shoulder and then starts tugging me along. His footwork is much quicker, smoother and experienced than mine but I do not mind because every time I stumble or step on his foot he chuckles and shakes his head in warning that it is of no consequence.

"How do you find Collinwood, madam?" he asks me quietly as he twirls us around once and then slows down the tempo of his movements.

"Glorious, Mr. Collins." I reply truthfully and he smiles.

"Pray, what is the name of such a recurring flower?" he murmurs with a slight tilt to his head and I flush.

"Elita Heartcowl."

His eyes widen a bit, "The merchant's daughter?" he states and I nod.

He grins widely and makes me take a turn around myself before he pulls me closer again.

"You are betrothed to James Black." He murmurs with a tiny frown and I nod. His frown deepens, "Interesting and rather impressive…" he turns us around and clasps me closer to him.

"What is so impressive?" I ask with irk and he notices.

He blinks and then shakes his head, "Forgive me. I meant nothing by it." He shakes his head and then his eyes fall on a spot over my shoulder. He tenses up and a small smile creeps up his lips.

I sense the change in his body until he gradually stops moving. His hold on my waist becomes less firm and I am worried that I have done something to offend him.

"Josette." He murmurs with sparkling eyes and I flush when I realize that a lady has grasped his attention.

Feeling a bit disorientated and unwanted, I step back and Mr. Collins' gaze shifts back to me with surprise.

"We haven't finished our dance." He regains his politeness but I have already understood that he craves to be with someone else right now.

"Forgive me, I feel a bit faint. Excuse me." I step further back and accidentally bump with a couple.

"Elita?" James' voice brings my attention back to him and I narrow my eyes at him before I turn on my heel and walk away from the dancing couples.

"Elita!"

I can hear him following me and as I step into the balcony I slap my hands hard against the marble railing.

"Are you alright?" his hand is on my hair and I shrug out of his hold.

"I am fine." I whisper but I am not. Why must he always prove my mother right? I ask nothing but a bit of his time but he gives me none.

"Were you dancing? Just now?" he asks and I turn to look at him with misty eyes.

"Obviously. It's a ball. Isn't that what you have been doing all evening?" I ask in a loud voice and he actually looks a bit ashamed.

"I am sorry-…"

"Sorry? I keep defending you in front of my parents but it seems to me that you deserve none of it. Tell me something," I straighten and turn to look at him, the wind blowing my wavy hair in front of my face, "Do you actually want to marry me?" my voice shakes a bit towards the end.

James sputters like a fish, his green eyes wide and panicky, "My love, I…" he hesitates and I fear that I already have my answer.

"I see. Why didn't you say something? Why are you letting me ridicule myself?" my voice is loud, hysterical and he quickly shakes his head.

"Elita…" he places his hands upon my shoulders and I don't know if it is the wine or the loud music and voices, but his touch angers me. I push his hands away and he is shocked.

"Who is it? Someone I know? The redhead or the blonde one?" I curl my hands into fists and I no longer care if I am making a scene. He has brought me to my limits.

"Elita, you're making a fool of yourself-…"

"Am I? Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you didn't even come to stand next to me tonight?"

"Of course not!" he exclaims with irk, his green eyes flashing and I nod my head.

"What happens now then?" I ask shakily.

"Nothing. We shall return inside-…"

"To do what?"

"Dance."

"You mean pretend. I want to go home." I turn to leave but his hand is upon my arm, squeezing it tightly. It's actually painful and I am shocked by his behavior.

I gasp, "Let go of me."

"You're not going to create a fuss just because you're jealous." He snaps.

"Jealous? I am not jealous! I am ashamed I came here with you!" I try to free myself but he is relentless.

"Ashamed of what?" he hisses.

"Of your conduct. My mother is right-…"

"My conduct would have been different if you were actually a bit more eager to please me. And your mother is a hag, my darling." He states cruelly and I stare at him as if seeing him for the first time. By now, there are people looking at us and I know that my parents will be here soon. Oh God, the humiliation.

"How dare you talk about my mother?" I whisper in a barely audible voice, "And please you? Not everything is about you, you arrogant creature!" I snap as I pull my hand free and step back.

"Elita." He growls in warning and he raises his hand, I don't know with what intention, but I cry out as I see it coming towards me. Nothing happens for another hand curls around his wrist and James turns to look at the intruder.

"Remove yourself from my house immediately." Barnabas Collins stands next to my fiancé with a fierce frown and I swallow hard. How did this evening turn out like this?

James pulls his hand free and turns to look at me with fury in his gaze, "I am leaving again tomorrow. If you don't come at the docks consider the engagement broken."

With those words he turns on his heel and storms away, leaving me shaking with retained anger and desperation.

"Ms. Heartcowl?" Mr. Collins approaches me but I take a step back, my cheeks already flushed with humiliation.

"I am so sorry for ruining your night." I shake my head, "If you could perhaps inform my parents that I will be waiting by the gates, I shall leave immediately." I whisper and it is then that I notice another blonde young woman standing by the French doors. She is beautiful but has a frown on her face.

"Madam, I wish you to stay. Perhaps we can take a stroll in the gardens. Josette?" he turns towards the other woman and offers her his hand. She smiles and takes it before she comes closer to me, her expression kind.

"Shall we take a stroll?" he suggests and she nods.

"Of course. Shall we, my lady?" she smiles at me but I am too upset for strolls. I've only just realized what I have gotten myself into. The whole town will be talking about this by morning.

"No, thank you. I must find my parents. Again, I ask for your forgiveness. Good evening." I brush by them and enter the parlor again before I make my way to the door. I find my mother by the hall and once she sees me her eyes go wide.

"Elita! Heavens! What happened? James just left." She takes my hands and I cannot help it. The tears that I had kept firmly in place start to fall as I shake my head.

"Mama, can we go?" I whimper and she nods but I can see that her teeth are gritted.

"Of course. I shall find your father."

She is gone from my side and I hastily make my way out of the mansion.

The ride back home is a silent one. My parents were right. I have let them both down.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Well, I could say I told you so but I don't want to wound you any further, my child. I always knew he was not to be trusted. He was only after our name and your fortune. Greedy man. Wasn't it enough that he would marry you?" my mother is pacing up and down while I am sitting on the window ledge, gazing out at the sea.

"The betrothal is not yet broken." I say quietly.

"By God it will be! Today. You shall not step foot at the docks. This is over. Your reputation has suffered enough." Her voice is resolute and I swallow thickly.

"It'll be worse if I am the reason why the betrothal will be broken."

My mother comes next to me and places her hand on my arm, "Elita, none of this is your fault. Love…makes us blind. We cannot see what is right in front of us. But if we don't love we do not live."

I turn to look at her and I bite my lip before I nod my head. She kisses the side of my head and then pulls back.

"Madam! Madam!" Nellie suddenly bursts through the door and we both turn to look at her.

"What is it?" my mother asks and Nellie eyes me with depredation before she speaks.

"It's a scandal, madam! Mr. Black…" she trails off.

I stand up at the mention of his name, "What about him?"

My mother shushes me, "Speak, Nell."

"He eloped with a servant girl, madam. Just this morning." She finally blurts out and I can feel my knees shaking underneath me.

"What?" I breathe.

"Explain yourself, Nellie!" my mother snaps and the maid nods.

"They spotted the girl boarding the Bearer just this morning, madam. The girl's family is devastated. She has humiliated them." Nellie finishes and I abruptly turn to face the window.

I bite my lip hard, but I have no one but myself to blame for this. Of course he'd choose a much morally free girl than me. It's in his nature to ask for more than I could ever give him. That doesn't make the blow milder however. My heart feels like it has been torn apart. Good God…how am I going to face this town now? My life…my family's honor has been stained with his actions and all because of me…Of my blindness. I am doomed to be alone; forever.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Collinwood, 1782…

I wipe at my eyes as I remember my first experience with heartache. I want to laugh because what I felt back then felt nothing like what I am feeling right now. I place my hand upon my stomach and I want to vomit as I keep listening to my husband's knocks on the door. I shuffle away from the door and lean against the chair that is near the mirror. I swallow hard as the blood between my thighs further soaks my undergarments. My entire body is burning, my limbs feel sore, but what hurts most is my heart.

"Elita! Jesus Christ, sweetheart! Open the door!" I close my eyes as the knocking turns into forceful banging and when Barnabas' voice gains volume I want to clamp my ears shut. I feel so tired, so confused…so alone.

Suddenly the door is slammed open and I open my eyes to see Barnabas staring at me with wide, black eyes. His eyes peruse the bombarded washroom and I suddenly feel ashamed of my temper tantrum. I have never behaved like this before, but I cannot forget all that has happened.

His expression is fierce and demanding but upon seeing my condition it softens.

"My God." He whispers as his eyes are immediately drawn to my bloodied thighs. In a few long strides he is kneeling down next to me and I tense up, but I have no power or strength left to fight his manhandling. He wraps an arm under my legs and another one around my back before he stands up almost effortlessly. My head finds its resting place in the crook of his neck and shoulder and I lie in his arms like a ragdoll as he carries me back to the bed.

He places me gently upon it and then his hands are upon my legs and between my thighs, checking for damage. His eyes snap up to my face when a particular probe causes me to whimper and he hushes me.

"Shh, it's alright. Everything's alright. Just a small rip, darling. Helen!" he barks for our maid, "Helen!"

The chamber door bursts open, "Master? My God!" she cries once she sees the blood.

"Fetch the physician. Now!"

In a flash she is gone and his hands are on my knees, gently kneading them in a futile attempt to calm me down. I hiccup because I am only just now registering the pain that is burning my insides.

"Hush now. I am so sorry." His lips are upon my sweaty brow and I close my eyes because the gesture takes me weeks back. And when he doesn't move away, but keeps pressing his lips upon my skin in a series of small kisses I don't care what he is and what has happened to him. I feel safe; I don't want him to hate me. I cannot bear it.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A month ago, Collinwood, 1782

Warm and absolutely welcome sunlight falls onto my side from the large French doors to our left. The artist said that the light is perfect at this particular spot. So here I am, sitting in one of the parlor's lavish armchairs with my back straight up and my legs crossed at the ankles. My midnight blue dress falls over my legs in silk folds that feel heavy and uncomfortable on my body. A silver pendant is hanging from my neck and I can feel the breeze from the windows disturbing the few curly locks that are falling strategically over my neck from my loose bun.

I have one hand on the arm of the chair and the other is upon my lap. I haven't been able to move for about half an hour and I already feel the tension upon my back.

As I stare ahead, I see the two maids waiting with trays of refreshments in their hands and my dry throat wishes for a cool glass of water. I swallow and lick my lips before I release a quiet sigh. It falls upon deaf ears and I almost grit my teeth together. Almost. I plan on ripping the bloody dress apart after this show is done.

"Perhaps we should make a small change." The painter speaks up and looks at us, me, from over his canvas, "Perhaps Lady Collins should place her hand upon her belly? As if she's cradling it?" he asks with a gentle smile and I tense up. I look down upon my slightly swollen stomach and bite my lip, because I can already feel my eyes softening at the sight of the bump.

I can feel eyes upon me and I look up to my right. My husband is looking at me peculiarly; all soft eyes and gaze fixed upon my stomach. I shift nervously because even though affection is something he gives freely to almost anyone he pities, I cannot stand his gaze. It's a lie. His gentle gaze and smiles are ripping my heart apart for the second time in my life, because I've done the unthinkable. I have fallen for the man to whom I was married without my consent. I have borne the decision forced upon me by our families, but I had never planned for it to actually turn real. I loved someone else but I had been betrayed. The man posing next to me so elegantly wasn't betrayed, but he has lost his love as well. My old love, James, is dead, but that does not make his betrayal and deception any lighter a burden to bear. On the contrary. I now have not one single chance to hurt him back, because he is dead. I only hope that the afterlife is not as easy on him.

"I do think it is a rather good idea." My husband replies at last and I look at him with shock, "I think it would make an excellent sight once it's done. I condone, Mr. Lewis. But first a small pause, yes?" he smiles and moves away from my chair to get the drinks from the tray.

I look intently upon him as he approaches the maids and takes two glasses with sweet orange juice. The tall one is mine and has a small flowery design on it. It is my mother's and a personal favorite of mine.

The dark haired maid bows to him, but I can see a smile playing upon her lips, a mocking one, and I want to disappear when my husband's gaze lingers upon the maid's exposed skin.

It is only a second or two, but to me it seems like a lifetime before he decides to turn and walk back to me.

He smiles and winks at me before he hands me a glass, "Something sweet, yes?" he murmurs as I take the glass. I simply nod because there's nothing else to do.

"Thank you." I murmur and I take a sip just to busy myself with something, anything.

He frowns at me, but he doesn't hover. Instead he turns to gaze upon the room and I watch him like a hawk because I know where his gaze will linger. Upon the beautiful dark haired servant girl. I inhale sharply and tighten my fingers upon the glass at the sight of his beautiful brown eyes upon the other woman.

I gulp and suddenly I want to flee because a loveless marriage is a far better choice than being in one with no reciprocated love. I mourn for the bygone days. The days when I would notice the appreciation upon his face for someone else and I would ignore it with no hurt twisting my stomach into tight knots. This child is a mistake. Not for me, but for him. It all happened in a moment of anger and that makes it unbearable. Because I know that the child growing inside me only exists because of his lack for better judgment. Because, if I want to be honest, he hasn't touched me like that since that night.

But then something happens and my musings are cut off. His gaze doesn't linger on her like other times. He is simply perusing the room while the painter prepares his colors. And then his gaze is back upon me; gentle and scorching at the same time. I know I must look like a fool staring at him like a gullible wife but I cannot help it. I am surprised and almost breathless when he walks back to me.

"Is there something wrong with the juice? Does it turn your insides?" he is frowning and then he reaches down to take the glass from my tightly gripping fingers.

"Darling." He murmurs in a light scolding voice and I release my hold immediately.

He takes it and brings it up to his nose. He takes a whiff and frowns before he takes a testing sip.

He winces and shakes his head, "Who made this?" he turns to look upon the maids and the dark haired one, Angelique, looks up at him with wide eyes.

"I did, Master-…"

"Bring me another glass. Now." He says firmly and I can see that his eyes are narrowed as he glares at her.

Angelique purses her lips, but bows her head in compliance before she turns and walks away. Barnabas hands me his own glass and then promptly spills the contents of the bitter juice inside the fireplace.

I swallow and then take a sip. I am surprised when I feel the sweet taste of orange upon my tongue and my eyes go to my husband, who is now conversing with Mr. Lewis.

I lower the glass from my lips and then stand up. I wince as I stretch but I walk towards the French doors nonetheless. I look outside and blink away my odd emotions and thoughts. I try not to analyze my husband's behavior. After all, he's always kind to me…Well, mostly at least.

A moment later, I feel arms around me and then hands upon my swollen, but silk clad belly. I freeze but then lips are upon my cheek; smooth, and hot and eager.

My heart flutters and I stifle the urge to sigh. All I do is lean back against the warmth that I hope I deserve.

End of chapter 3

Author's note: Thank you for reading. I swear that the confusing back and forth bits are mostly over. I just wanted to show the various facets of their lives with this chap. In the next chapter we shall see how they will be forced together. ;o)

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Until next time, loves.

Xxx Lina :o)