Padme: Third chapter. Whoo.

Orochimaru: Idiot.

Padme: …I have no insult.

Orochimaru: …Like I said, idiot.

---

Chapter Three- In-flight Entertainment

Two hours had passed. Chouji had finished all sources of food on the plane, excluding the risky in-flight snacks. The cogs in Narutos brain were turning, brooding over some scheme to disrupt the air of tired, bored and 'oh-my-god-we're-passing-another-mountain-range' that was suffocating the people around him. Scenery was boring. And counting the number of happy kitten faces on the chair embroidery was even worse. Naruto had given up after about five hundred and fifty three.

'What are you scheming, Naruto?' Neji waved a hand in front of his face.

'Nothing.'

'Lies.'

'Really, nothing.'

'Liiies.'

Naruto grinned.

'HENGE!'

Naruto was instantly replaced by a female version of himself, clothed in absolute nothingness.

Neji said nothing, and responded by grinning just as stupidly.

'You think that's going to affect someone like me? I see that kind of stuff twenty-four-seven.'

Naruto giggled, and reverted back to his orange-clad self. He pointed to Shino, who was discreetly covering the bloodstain on his excessively huge jacket-collar.

'You pervert.' He grinned back at Neji, who just shook his head.

Another hour passed. Sasuke, having fallen asleep, was now Narutos new target. He could shave his hair. He could paint stupid things on his face. He could even shove things down his shirt. Naruto was not aware something had already taken up residence in Sasukes shirt. The warm fluffball of grey known as Minnie, was purring loudly against his chest, and was probably the initial cause of Sasuke falling asleep in the first place. That, and the fact it was now eleven at night for the ten shinobi. Naruto of course, couldn't sleep. This was his first time on a plane, and he was going to make everyone remember it.

He reached into his bag, pulling out a kunai. Sasuke, Sasuke, who gave you a crew cut? He thought to himself, trying not to giggle.

He leant over the seat and carefully gathered up some of Sasuke's hair, and prepared to cut it.

Sasukes hand grabbed him suddenly, causing him to squeak. He was sure Sasuke had been asleep.

'Niii-saaaan, you're so meeean.' A second hand came flying at his face, and seconds later Naruto was back in his seat, a red mark shaped distinctly like Sasukes hand imprinted on his cheek.

His deed of mischief ruined, the boy leant back in his seat, and pulled out a comic from the bag next to him. It wasn't as fun as cutting Sasukes hair, but it would have to do.

Eight hours from departure. Naruto was asleep.

Neji had woken up from a substantial nap of roughly five and a half hours; to find Naruto head back in the seat, drooling, with one of his comics flopped over his chest. It did not please Neji to see the boy, one because he was salivating dangerously near to the comic, and two, he had just been plagued by a nightmare of nude Naruto females using the Byakugan against him. He was about to place his hand over the teenagers throat and strangle him, but something caught his attention.

He got out of his seat, and stormed into the cockpit, the floor creaking as he went.

'What's his problem…?' Ino elbowed Sakura in the ribs sleepily. Hinata mumbled something about soba noodles and curled up tighter in the seat. Sakura yawned, elbowing Ino back, growling 'I don't have time for this, Naruto', and flopping her hands over her ears.

Neji stared at the enormous mug of coffee Temari was brandishing at him in one hand. It was blue and white striped, and inky-black coffee was seeping over the edges.

'WHY are you in here?' Temari snarled, the bags under her eyes giving her a frightening appearance.

Neji pointed forwards. Temari sighed.

'WHAT.'

'Turbulence.'

'Not possible. I have radar, what do you have?'

'This.' Nejis brows crinkled. 'Nice underwear, by the way.'

Temaris eyes widened, and the coffee of black, boiling doom was instantly running down Nejis face.

'ALRIGHT. I see your point. But why are you so concerned?'

'My cousin gets travel sick easily. It would be advisable for them to put on their seatbelts, yes?'

'Ladies and gentlemen, we are likely to ex--- ALRIGHT!' the loudspeaker hissed momentarily. 'It has been brought to my attention that we are very likely to experience some severe turbulence in the next few minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts, put your seats in the upright position and remember that there is the option of sick-bags.'

Neji came back to his seat looking very smug, and pulled the comic out of Narutos hands roughly. The boy didn't move.

'I'm not going to tell you anything, but if you can hear me, brace yourself, Naruto.' Neji grinned. Naruto was snoring loudly, and nicely slumped forward, and due to lack of seatbelt security, was half-on his seat, and half-off.

The plane shook violently. Akamaru clung to Kibas head, but could not help being thrown up and down by the force, and Kiba was sustaining more damage because of this.

'Why don't you sit on my lap, dog?' an irritated and sleepy voice scolded the animal, and Akamaru was promptly tucked into a fluffy grey jacket and zipped halfway in securely.

Naruto was now entirely on the floor, and had somehow managed to roll into the middle of the aisle. Still sleeping, he had caught Hinatas eye, and with an expression of 'what-in-the-hell?', she shook Ino.

'What is Naruto-kun doing on the floor?' she had a bewildered look.

'No idea. Being stupid, I suppose?' Ino slumped herself back on to the fold-out table in front of her, leaving Hinata to stare at the continuously moving orange-clad teenager.

'We will proceed with the descent in five minutes. We will be flying low to avoid radar detection, and will be arriving at a previously secured area three kilometres north of point B. You will be walking to point B, and will be supplied with maps upon departure of this aircraft.'

Temaris announcement went to waste. The entire group was in a state of deep sleep, and could have best been compared to logs.

Naruto had rolled back into the row where he had been sitting, by a miracle, as it were. Neji looked at him for a moment, before pulling him back into the seat, and fastening his seatbelt.

'Children.' He sighed.

Landing was significantly smoother than Shikamaru had expected. Apart from hitting a series of oak trees on the way down, no one had been injured. Except Chouji. He had, despite the warnings of Sakura, eaten the in-flight food.

'I was hungry…but now I feel like a piece of sludge with limbs.' The boy mumbled as he got off the plane, collapsing in the wet grass.

'Don't worry about it.' Shikamaru rubbed his eyes. 'What time is it here?'

'Three in the morning.' Temari was re-fuelling, and preparing the small plane for the return flight.

'I suppose we're walking under cover of darkness, then?' Shikamaru yawned, leaning against a very battered tree that had been hit on the way down.

'Yes, you are. Should take you about half an hour to reach point B, King's Cross Station, I presume you've read the map?'

'Yeah.' He sighed. 'It's too early for work. Gotta sleep.' He mumbled, collapsing next to Chouji.

---

Padme: Ugh. Done.

Orochimaru: Oh my, you sound enthusiastic.

Padme: What? I like writing this. It's good for me to write humour.
Orochimaru: And I'm a budgerigar named Sally.