Chapter 3- Return to Hogwarts
August 1st had come a lot sooner than Harry anticipated. He had stayed up the entire night before, not packing for he had done that days ago and his suitcase was sitting by the door but pacing. Harry had been pacing up and down the stairs so many times he'd lost count since he had gotten home from his birthday party at the Barrow and now with Hermione arriving any moment he paced the long entrance hallway.
Right as the clock struck 7:00 am Harry heard a knock at the door and Hermione call his name. With a wave of his hand it swung open as he moved towards the dining room at the end of the hall.
"Morning Harry I—What's wrong?" He heard Hermione's bags drop to the floor and the door close. He kept moving towards the dining room.
"This was a bad idea Hermione, you should go without me," Harry said feeling the knots in his chest tighten and his stomach started feeling uneasy.
"Harry, I'm not going without you," Her footsteps were quickly catching up to him as he braced himself on the dining room table.
"I can't go back, I just…can't," His voice wavered and his grip tightened on the table, his knuckles turning white as he clenched to stop himself from rocking back and forth on his feet. He felt as if he was about to fall to the floor the panic he was feeling too much to bear.
And then Hermione reached him, she touched his shoulder before her hand moved to his hair. His eyes closed and his shoulders relaxed, a deep and shaky breath escaping his body. The panic was still echoing dully in his head but the knots in his chest began to loosen and his stomach settled. Her hand moved from his hair to his other shoulder till she had him in a half hug.
"It's okay Harry…I know you're scared. I was too when I went back. I was worried about what I'd see, if I would just keep seeing their faces," She spoke softly almost inaudibly. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, she was blurry due to his horrible vision but he could still make out the glistening in her brown eyes.
"Did you?"
"Yes I did for a while. I know that's not what you want to hear but if you're anything like me then yeah you'll see them. It's difficult at first but…eventually you heal, you remember the good times more than the bad. Maybe we'll even make new memories to drive out the old. How does that sound?"
Harry smiled a little and nodded, "Sounds great actually…"
"Good, now let's go before we're late," Hermione said pulling away. Harry pushed away from the table and gave her a small smile.
She gave him a grin in return before going to pick her bags up. Harry followed her to the front door and saw Kreacher coming down the staircase.
"Hey Kreacher, we're going to be off now," He told the elf with a smile.
"If you get lonely you're more than welcome to visit us or you can stay with the house elves in the kitchens at Hogwarts," Hermione offered to which Kreacher gave what Harry swore could've been a smile.
"Master Harry, Mistress Hermione, Kreacher wishes you a good trip," The old elf said in the most casual form of address they could ever get him to use before bowing to them.
"Kreacher there's really no need to bow-" Hermione started before Harry touched her arm knowing it wouldn't change no matter what she said.
"We'll be back in a few days, it's just ordination. See you later Kreacher."
"Take care of yourself!" Hermione said kindly as Kreacher waved them goodbye. Harry grabbed his suitcase then Hermione's hand and with a pop they were in Hogsmeade appearing directly on the road leading up to the castle.
The knots in Harry's chest returned quickly as he looked up at the castle looming over them. Hermione squeezed his hand but didn't let go and with a swish of her wand caused their luggage to float behind them before guiding him to the castle.
When they arrived at the gate they were surprised to find a small group of muttering house elves awaiting them.
"Miss! Miss!" They called excitedly upon seeing Hermione waving their little arms to her. Harry looked over at her surprised and raised an eyebrow. Last time Harry had checked all house elves avoided her and her wild attempts to free them.
"I realized that they didn't need freeing, this is what they love to do. So…I just decided to be their friend. I visited them all the time. They call me 'Miss' despite my protests."
"That's great Hermione," Harry smiled at her; she grinned back before they entered the gates. Hermione immediately bent down and said hi to them, all by name. He smiled at her compassion, it always astounded him.
As he watched her he began to feel a small tugging at the hem of his jacket, he looked down to see a little elf with a big nose and large brown eyes, the only one truly dressed in anything other than a pristine white flour sack as she wore many socks, a skirt, a blouse, and not to mention a lot of familiar knitted hats he'd seen Hermione knit together years ago.
"Winky! It's so good to see you," He said recognizing the elf immediately; he knelt down on one knee to her level. She looked much better than she had the last time he'd seen her, sober actually.
"Hello Harry Potter, sir. Can Winky take your bags for you?" She asked her voice soft and weary.
"Of course you can, if that's what you want to do," He told her with a small smile. She looked up at him her brown eyes glazed with tears.
"Winky has stopped drinking Butterbeer sir. D-Dobby would've wanted her too…" She sniffled wiping her nose on her sleeve. Harry felt his throat tighten at the name of the green-eyed elf.
"Yeah…yeah, he would be really proud of you Winky. Hermione and I both are too."
His words seemed to have unleashed waterworks as the little elf began bawling, her whole body shook like a leaf then unexpectantly she threw her thin arms around Harry beginning to sob.
Harry sat shocked, unsure how to handle a crying elf much less a crying girl. He looked at Hermione for guidance but she looked as heartbroken as he felt. The other elves rushed over to try and pull her off him but Harry stopped them. He slowly put his hands around the small elf and held her as she cried.
"I miss him too…" Was all he could manage to say as she sniffled. Hermione was suddenly kneeling at his side putting a hand on Winky.
"We're here for you, come see us anytime Winky. Okay?"
Winky nodded and pulled away from Harry trying to compose herself again.
"Harry Potter sir and Miss are too kind…Winky will get your bags now like a good house elf."
"You're always a good elf Winky, don't forget that," Hermione said, the elf just nodded to her before she and the others gathered their bags and disappeared.
"Well that was…difficult," Harry muttered causing Hermione to nod in agreement before taking his hand again.
"Come on, let's get up to the castle."
The two walked almost the entire way in silence, only occasionally did Hermione speak to talk about some new addition that had been added to the castle grounds when they passed it. A small memorial statue, or even a new tree to cut through the thick anxiety hanging over Harry.
As they got closer to the castle doors the more Harry's stomach twisted and churned, he wanted to run the other way as fast as possible but Hermione's grip on his hand made it impossible. Soon they were right in front of the doors and Harry felt like he was going to be sick. He shook his head adamantly as he tried to back away from it.
"Hermione this is a really bad idea. I shouldn't be here…" He tried to pull his hand from her grasp.
"Harry. Harry look at me," She used her free hand to cup his face and forced him to make eye contact with her, "You can do this. I know you can. You trust me right?"
"What? Yeah of course I trust you. What kind of question is that?"
"Then trust me now. It will be difficult but you're not alone. I'm here for you."
He stared into her eyes for a moment before nodded slightly. She gave his hand a squeeze before placing the other on the door to push. At her lightest touch the heavy door swung open to the unmistakable Entrance Hall.
Images of rubble and spell marks flashed across Harry's mind. The sound of Professor Trelawney dropping crystal balls from the balcony, the glass smashing on the floor or a follower of Voldemort's head, echoed in his ears. Harry blinked and when he opened his eyes none of that was in the hall, it looked the same as it always had like nothing had ever happened. In fact Professor McGonagall was standing there by the doors to the Great Hall, how had he not seen her before?
He looked over at Hermione and realized she had been waiting for him to process stepping into the hall. He nodded to her and together they walked over to his old Transfiguration professor.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Granger. It is lovely to see you again," McGonagall said with a rare smile seemingly directed particularly at Harry.
"Hello Professor," He said smiling back a little, "Thank you for taking me back."
"Just try not to get into too much trouble, Potter."
"No promises," He said and was surprised to get a slight chuckle out of her before she shook both of their hands.
"Go on in and meet the staff, we have a few more to arrive."
Harry and Hermione nodded to the Headmistress before walking by her into the Great Hall. Hermione once again stopped as Harry saw glimpses of people lying on the floor in rows, faces he knew, crying in his ears. He held his eyes shut, he didn't want to open them to the battle.
"Stay with me Harry, it's okay. What your seeing is the past, not today. Open your eyes," Hermione said quietly to him, Harry breathed and slowly opened his eyes to the familiar Great Hall lined with tables. Teachers stood around chatting, Harry smiled at the sight of Hagrid standing heads over them.
The pair walked forward into the group together and were introduced to multiple new professors and also greeted the old. Harry felt a tap on his shoulder and was surprised when he turned around to see the face of Neville Longbottom looking at him.
"Neville! What are you doing here mate?" Harry asked shaking his hand happily.
"I'm the new Herbology teacher under Professor Sprout. I heard you and Hermione are Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. Congrats."
"No congrats to you, that's great. You'll be a great teacher."
"So will you, you were good enough to actually teach me after all."
"Thanks Neville, for everything."
"Welcome Harry. Hagrid was looking for you by the way, best say hi before he gets too impatient."
"Thanks for the tip," Harry said with a smile before Neville walked away. Hermione joined him as he moved through the crowd towards Hagrid. The large man beamed at them as they approached.
"Harry! Hermione! It's good to have you lot back," His voiced boomed through the hall.
"It's good to be back," Hermione said giving him a half hug.
"How are ya two getting along anyways?" He asked as Harry gave him a half hug as well.
"Alright, coming back hasn't gone as smooth as I hoped though."
"Oh I bet not. This is your first time back since the battle isn't it?" Harry only nodded in response, "Well you'll have to stop by sometime. The old place has been completely redone since the fire."
"Yeah I'll have to do that," Harry smiled a bit at him. Hagrid glanced over his head into the crowd and his eyes widened.
"I almost forgot, I wanted to introduce you two to someone. This here is Timothy Cohan," Hagrid gestured behind Harry, when he turned around he saw a lad about his age with floppy dirty blonde hair and blue eyes that shown through the grey rectangular glasses in front of them. He looked like an odd adventuring sort with a blue hoodie, grey knee length trench coat, and a pair Converse with the Union Jack printed on them.
"You can call me Tim for short," The man, Tim, said in a clear American accent.
"You're American…?" Harry asked admittedly rather rudely but Tim just laughed, "I'm sorry that was rude, I'm Harry."
"I know who you both are, Hagrid has told me everything I didn't already know."
"Wait, you look awfully familiar but I don't remember an American in school with us," Hermione pondered as he shook both their hands.
"I was in your year, but in Ravenclaw. I transferred in during third year. You might have seen me with Fred and George, or even Luna; hung out with her a bit," Tim shrugged in a rather laid back attitude.
"Yeah, weren't you beater for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team fifth and sixth year?" Tim nodded with a smile, "You think we would've heard of an American transfer student…" Harry said glancing at Hermione.
"Well what's so exciting about a transfer student when Sirius Black is possibly loose in the castle? By the time it all settled down I was old news, not too worth sharing."
"Are you here for one of the professorships?" Hermione asked him curiously.
"I'm assisting Hagrid in teaching. I'm not here to take his spot though, no worries. I'm just here to get more experience handing magical creatures. I want to be a Magizoologist like Newt Scamander."
"A pursuit of knowledge is always a noble one," Hermione said with a smile. Tim looked at her curiously.
"Sure you weren't supposed to be a Ravenclaw?" He joked a bit and she shook her head.
"Oh no, I think I was in the right house."
"If you insist," Tim said smiling just as Professor McGonagall walked into the room and claimed everyone's attention.
"Welcome back to Hogwarts, professors, and welcome our new staff as well. With more of the school repaired and open I am confident this castle will feel more like home than ever before," McGonagall began reminding Harry of when Hermione had wrote to him during her first term last year about how the school was only open on the first four floors and the common rooms, the rest had to be rebuilt still. His mind wondered what floors were open now, if his room would be the Defense Against the Dark Arts room on the third floor or somewhere else.
He was brought out of his thoughts by people talking and dispersing, his gaze shot to Hermione quickly.
"Wait what happened? What did she say?" He asked. Hermione gave him a concerned looked but quickly saw it had nothing to do with past horrors and just rolled her eyes with a smile.
"You may want to start paying better attention Harry. She said all but a few corridors on the sixth and seventh floors are open and we, as junior staff, will be meeting with the head professors in our subjects who will tell us the details of our course material."
"Right…so who's my head professor?" Hermione pointed across the room to a tall broad shouldered silver haired man.
"Professor Rickman, he was a retired Auror but was kind enough to come out of retirement to teach."
Harry nodded to her but realization gripped him of his situation, "Hermione I'll have to go with him, without you…"
"I know Harry, you'll be just fine. Remember what's in the present and what's in the past. Okay?" Harry nodded to her anxiously, Hermione gave him a reassuring smile before squeezing his hand and going into the crowd toward a mousy little women who must've been the current Transfiguration professor.
"Break a leg," He heard Tim say behind him, Harry shot him a bewildered look. The American smiled, "It's an expression. Means good luck."
"Thanks then…" Harry nodded a bit to him before making his way across the room to Professor Rickman. He approached the man feeling a bit uncomfortable, "Hello Sir, I'm Harry Potter."
"I'd have to be living under a rock to not know who you are," The tall man smiled and shook Harry's hand, "I'm Bernard Rickman, ex Auror and current Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher but I'm sure someone already told you that. Come with me I'll show you your office, quarters, and around the classroom."
"Thank you Sir," Harry said following him out of the Great Hall. He tried to keep his eyes mostly focused on Professor Rickman's back as they climbed stairs and walked through the halls. He had finally got back inside the castle he didn't need them firing him before he even started because he was acting like a nutter.
"I have to thank you Mr. Potter, not just for saving the Wizarding World but for stepping in. Hopefully in two years' time I'll be back in Spain for my retirement."
"You think I'll be ready to teach everyone in two years?"
"Honestly I think you could teach me now, you did defeat Voldemort after all. Have more experience and credibility than most of us Aurors," Rickman paused and looked at him intently, "Why aren't you an Auror anyhow?"
"I turned nineteen yesterday Sir. I've had enough fighting for a lifetime," Harry told him sincerely.
"You have the eyes and soul of someone far older than me Mr. Potter, so does your friend Miss Granger."
Harry nodded slowly knowing the look in his best friends eyes, "I know…"
The older man gave him a sad smile when they reached the door to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.
"Let's begin with the tutorial then, shall we?"
AN: Definitely the most challenging chapter to write so far. As I was drafting it up I got the news about Alan Rickman, it broke my heart. And as this chapter heavily focuses on the ones lost in the war I thought there was no better place for my tribute to him. I hope you all enjoyed it :)