I woke up from the light cascading through the thin curtains on the window.
I looked up at Jacob, who was still snoring, but only softly.
I rested my head on his warm, bare chest and began to trace patterns, up and down his stomach.
A few minutes went by, and Jacob woke up. "Morning, Bells," He said mussing my hair, and then placing his hand on my cheek. "How are you?" he said moving his other free hand up and down my back.
"I'm fine. How about you," I said sitting up on my elbow. "Are you doing okay? I'm really still sorry for the way I acted last night."
He gave a little chuckle that shook the bed. "Well, you made up for it later." He smiled, and placed his hands behind his head.
I let a smile escape my lips, too. "I love you." I said quietly, nestling my head into his chest.
"Can you possibly believe that I love you too?" he told me, putting a loose piece of my hair back into its proper position.
I kissed his collar bone and replied "I think I can believe that…"
He took my small, white fragile hand in his, and looked at the ring again. "I did a damn good job picking this out, didn't I?" he said laughing.
"Yes you did, and I love my new copy of Wuthering Heights." I said sitting up, and looking at the door, toward the box in the living room.
Then, silence. I could just hear the sound of our breathing in synchronization. In…out…in…out…
Jacob was still playing with the ring on my finger, before he sat in an upright position. He got up and put on a grey pair of pants, and walked out of the bedroom.
I lay back down on the big, white, untidy bedspread, and sighed.
"You hungry, Bells?" Jacob yelled to me. I smiled. Jacob couldn't cook.
"Yeah, I'll get it." I said getting out of bed, and sliding on a pair of green shorts, and a blue tank top that was just lying on the floor.
I walked out to the big kitchen, and laughed out loud at Jake trying to crack an egg into a bowl.
"Jake, you seriously suck at cooking." I said taking the bowl and egg, and swiftly cracking it into the pan.
"What are you a wizard?" he said wide-eyed and laughing.
I laughed with him "I could be. After all, my life is surrounded by werewolves and vampires." I said, not even realizing I had said "vampires."
The hole tore open, and I groaned.
Jacob pulled me into a hug, and "shushed" me softly. "It's okay…"
I let my hands lay limp on his warm chest. He titled my chin up. "Really. It's alright, I'm right here." He breathed, hot on my face.
He took my hips and set me up on the counter before kissing me, just to make it easier. After all he was a massive six foot two, and I was a dainty five foot four.
He pulled away very quickly, quicker than usual and said "Now, show me how to crack one of these damn eggs."
I decided to call Renee at about 7:00 while Jacob was at work. He always worked pretty late.
He took a job at an auto repair shop in college a few years ago and soon climbed the ladder to manager of the business, himself. He became very successful after leaving the pack.
"Hi Mom," I said when she answered the phone, seeming a bit tired. "How's Jacksonville?" I asked, sitting on the sofa.
"Hi baby. It's good. Phil is at a game right now, I decided to stay home. I am so tired." She said giggling.
I felt bad for waking her up if she was sleeping, or even bothering her if she was relaxing. "Mom, I can call back tomorrow. I just have some good news." Right when I said it, as if on cue, the ring glistened in the light.
"No no. It's okay, what's your news?" she asked, followed by a small sigh.
"Well…" I thought about how she'd react when I'd tell her "Mom, I'm getting married." After all, she always told me getting married was a terrible thing, and not to even think about it until absolutely sure the person was perfect for you. Not like her and Charlie, right out of high school.
"Mom…I'm…er, Jake proposed last night." Trying to avoid the direct phrase, "I'm getting married."
"Oh my God, Bella! Oh! You're getting married? That's terrific! Oh, there's so much to do! Bridesmaids, pick out a dress…oh, and—" I cut her off, confused. Renee always told me marriage was horrible, and she was…happy?
"Mom, I'm getting married," I said, "Married." I repeated.
"I know! Oh, this is great! When is the wedding?" she asked, on the border of squealing.
"I'm not sure, we haven't really discussed it." I said, quietly. "Listen mom, Jake just got home, I have to go. I love you." I lied, I really didn't feel like going into detail with this.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just so happy you're moving on and found another somebody that loves you just as much as he did." She said. "Bye, baby." She added.
"Bye mom…" I said, and hung the phone up, and slammed it hard down on the couch.
Another somebody. Someone who loves me as much as he did. She didn't know anything. Edward never loved me, an obsession. A sick fascination, that was it. A sick fascination. Nothing more, nothing less.
I lay my head down on the soft pillow, and once again let the tears flow. I remembered the day I jumped off the cliff, and into the dark waters. How my mind had stored up his perfection as if for that moment.
The way his voice sounded as he yelled at me to keep going, "Keep swimming, damn it Bella!" I heard "him" scream at me. It made me feel like he still cared. Velvety smooth, but still firm and aggressive. I remembered his lips and the way they formed the words. His cold, light pink lips. I remembered when he'd kiss me, and the night of my party that he kissed me, so perfect and so right.
I remembered how I'd save his eyes for last, his beautiful golden eyes. The color of butterscotch and topaz. The way they bore into mine while he was screaming and I'll I could do was stare.
The tears came harder now, as I sank deep in thought. I never remembered thinking of this moment so vividly.
I closed my eyes attempting to think even harder, making the pictures almost life like. Instead I let my mind wander to the upcoming wedding, and fell asleep.
I saw Jacob standing next to the minister smiling brightly as Charlie walked me down the aisle, my elbow tucked into his. I smiled back at Jacob, and then up at Charlie. Jacob was always in his favor, so I knew he was happy as well.
I saw Renee, tears of joy streaming down her face, Phil next to her rubbing her shoulder. I saw Mike and Jessica, and Eric and Angela and other high school friends, still the same, but older. I gave a small wave to the majority of them.
When I finally reached the alter, Charlie kissed my forehead before taking his place next to Sam Uley. I turned to face Jacob who was beaming. I looked at the minister and then heard a familiar voice, "Hello love." Velvety smooth.
I looked back, and saw Edward standing in front of me, not Jacob. Behind him, stood Emmett, and behind me, Alice stood smiling. I looked out to the crowd. No Jacob, just Edward's family, and our old friends.
I stared back at him as the minister asked us to say our "I do's"
Edward smiled, and said "I do." And I said the same, as much of shock I was in, I was still in love with him, and couldn't bear to look into his gorgeous eyes and utter the words "I'm sorry, I can't do this."
"I now pronounce you, husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." And suddenly, his arms pulled me into him, and I could've stayed there forever.
Just as he was about to lean down, and press his stone cold lips to mine, I woke up.
I screamed into my hand, feeling the tears coming down ferociously. I fell to the floor, and I grabbed the pillow that fell with me, and began to scream into that, instead.
This had been one of the worst dreams in the past two years or so.
"Why?" I cried, rolling onto my back. "How could you do this to me!?" I nearly shouted to him, as if I believed he was nearby, and close enough to hear me. "Why? Why did you leave me? You knew quite well how much I needed you, and you just left. Not caring about what you did! I hope you're out there suffering. I hope you realize what you did you hardhearted, callous bastard!" I screamed, and let more tears come down.
I could never let Jacob know about this, or the dream. I was sure that he'd leave me if he knew. I had never had a dream so vivid as the one I had just had. Able to see all of his features so perfectly. The shape of his jaw, his nose, his perfect lips as they were about come down on me.
Never would I let Jacob know about this. Ever.