Eddlantis: The Lost Idiot!
"A portal…" Ed whispered, gazing at the top of Edd's head.
"Wow. You're right for once, Ed…" Eddy noted. And for once, Ed was right. A lavender vortex was swirling below, right on top of Edd's head. Ed leaned over to peer into the strange portal.
"It appears to be a wormhole, powered by nuclear and plasma fusion, which leads to some sort of highly developed colony in an alternate universe…" Ed declared, his eyes nearly burning by the intensity of the light coming from the portal.
"Quit talking Dr. Seuss, Ed. Can't you see there's a hole in our friend's head?!" Eddy criticized, taking a closer look as well.
"We must send down a line!" Ed shouted, pulling out a string and his lucky cheese Sheldon. The cheese reeked of pocket lint and decomposing cheddar.
"Yeeesh, Ed! I thought we got rid of that stinkin' cheese seasons ago!" Eddy complained, pinching his nose.
"Silence!" Ed shouted, tying the line around the end of the cheese and dropping the cheese into the wormhole.
"Are you nuts, Ed? Who knows what could be…" Eddy began, but he was interrupted by a large scream coming from Ed's mouth. Something huge tugged on the stringed cheese, causing Ed to rocket forward, his upper torso getting caught in the small wormhole.
"EEEEEED!" Eddy shouted, grabbing along of Ed's legs, pulling as hard as he could. However, the wormhole slowly began to get bigger, pulling more of Ed in. As it did, lavender streaks grabbed out at both Ed's feet and Eddy's arms, tugging violently.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!" Eddy shouted, as his best friend was completely sucked through, along with poor Eddy. All that remained of them was the Tiki mask, its mouth stuffed with cactus…
Through the other end of the wormhole fell Eddy, eyes shut tight. As he fell, Eddy's eyes slowly began to open. He turned his head slightly to see he was falling through a red sky amongst white clouds, each one as huge and solid as the others. But what really caught his eye was that there were measurements of the cloud's shape spotted among the cloud, and some sort of water to air ratio. Plus, there was lines labeling each drop of water in the cloud.
"What the heck? It's like I've stepped into a school textbook…" Eddy said, before noticing that he was still holding onto Ed's ankles.
"Ed?!" He questioned, before looking down to see that they were nearing the ground.
"Brace yourself!" Ed shouted, before they crashed into the ground. Eddy shut his eyes, and felt himself land on something. He opened them and looked down to see Ed's head buried into the ground, while the rest of him was sticking up, with Eddy sitting on top of him.
"Oh no! Ed!" Eddy shouted, hopping off Ed's rump and leaning close to his face.
"Ed…" Eddy murmured, near to the point of crying.
"Yes Eddy?" Ed's voice sounded from behind Eddy, causing Eddy to turn in delight. Ed's head was peeking out of the ground just a couple of feet behind him.
"Ed? But how did you…" Eddy asked, before looking to see that Ed's head was in fact sticking out of a small magenta vortex that was swirling beneath him.
"What the…?" Eddy questioned, looking back at Ed's overturned body. It wasn't going into the ground; it was actually in a portal that apparently led to the one where Ed's head was. Ed pulled his head out of the vortex and walked over to Eddy.
"Coooool…" Ed said, gazing into the portal that had saved his head. Ed suddenly felt the line that he still had clutched in his head tug backward. He turned to find what looked to be Rolf's pig Wilbur dressed up in a blue suit and standing upright. Its mouth was clamped onto the string, which meant it had Sheldon inside its mouth.
"Who put the monkey suit on the pig again?" Eddy asked, eyeing the peculiar clothing.
"This is no monkey suit, I assure you..." A British voice spoke out, though Eddy did not know where it had come from.
"And would you be so kind as to tell your giant friend over there to release that string…" The voice spoke again, and this time Eddy saw where it had come from. Wilbur appeared to be speaking in a low and fairly attractive British voice.
"Whoa. I didn't know Wilbur was British. I always thought he had a French accent…" Ed said, releasing the string so that Wilbur slurped it in and swallowed.
"He isn't supposed to have ANY accent, Ed!" Eddy shouted, apparently very confused.
"Beg your pardon? Oh, what should I expect from a lowly species. Then again, you did help me prove that portals can slow down particles just enough to prevent dangerous falls…" Wilbur said, pulling out a spectacle on a black string and putting it over his eye.
"Who're you calling lowly species?" Eddy retorted, before he saw something in the distance. Large purple skyscrapers towered over miles of electric, water, and nuclear plants, all encased in some sort of violet force field.
"What's that?" Ed asked, pointing to the strange city.
"You don't know? Why, that's Eddlantis…The cleanest, most advanced and resource-preserving city under Edd's skin." Wilbur explained, causing Ed and Eddy to exchange glances.
"Eddlantis? Under Edd's skin…You don't mean…" Eddy began, finally realizing why everything looked like the pages of a school textbook.
"…We're INSIDE Double D's HEAD?" Ed questioned much to Eddy and Wilbur's surprise.
"If by Double D you mean Edd, then you are correct. This is all part of Father Edd's great mind. Right now you are in the Memory District, where all of Edd's memories come to life as models of him. This is the reason I can talk, not to mention compute infinite theories…" Wilbur said. Ed and Eddy were extremely confused by now.
"For example, look behind me…" Wilbur said, pointing one of his hooves backwards. Ed and Eddy looked past to see what looked like Kevin riding a motorcycle across the plains.
"But Kevin doesn't look much different than the Kevin we know." Eddy noted.
"He's not at all different in terms of appearance. Yet if you look closer, you will see he is using broccoli as an efficient fuel…" Wilbur mentioned. The two looked back to see he was right. There was diced up stalks of broccoli bursting out of Kevin's gas pipe.
"He is intelligent in the way he fuels his motors, which was based off of the mighty Edd's love for the environment. If you look at me, you will see I am both based off of Edd's love for other cultures, and his love of inventive thinking." Wilbur explained, before noticing his explanations were only further confusing the two.
"Look, piggy, can you just tell us how to get out of here?" Eddy demanded.
"Ah, but why? This society is an ideal one. Why would one ever want to venture out of this…this…technological citadel?" Wilbur asked.
"Because we don't belong here. To tell ya the truth, Ed couldn't survive among all these smart people for much longer…" Eddy noted, pointing to Ed, whose eyes were spinning around in his head.
"Very well…" Wilbur said, grabbing one of the portals from off of the ground and tossing it all the way over to right next to the dome. Then he pointed to the other end of the portal, beckoning the two to enter. The two jumped in without hesitation, before they found themselves all the way to the other side of the field, right in front of the violet dome.
"Hmm. How do we get in, Eddy?" Ed asked, knocking on the dome. Out of the portal appeared the pig's head, curled up in a dissatisfied frown.
"Must I do everything…?" Wilbur muttered, leaning forward as a blue scanner scanned his large nose. The front of the dome opened wide, and the two walked through.
"Thanks Wilbur. I'll remember to give you a cracker!" Ed shouted back to him.
"You're not gonna remember, are you?" Eddy asked.
"Remember what?" Ed replied with a confused look.