Title: Surreal
Pairing: one-sided jalex
Words: 600+
When you wake up at four in the early morning from a horrible dream, you find yourself in one side of your bed, facing the wall. Sweat is sticking to your forehead and your heart is still skipping beats, pounding against your ribs to let you know that this is real. Reality and dreams have merged such a long time back- everything in your life seems surreal.
You turn around and face the ceiling, engulfing the familiar dim, green light of your night lamp, and analyze your dream. You saw that you did not get a 100 in math. Your dreams have always been a mirror of your worst fears. You have recently given a test, and everyone has a lot of expectations from you. You are a good student and you had studied and your exam was great. But it is this expectation that bugs you and shatters your self-confidence. What if you don't live up to their expectations? What if you don't get a 100?
You close your eyes tightly and breathe, because you are scared to analyze the other part of your dream. You saw your mother disappointed in you, turning her back towards you. And then you saw her trying to comfort you. You don't remember much of your dream- (and it's so funny that you remember the part about math but not the part about her!)- But you felt her comforting, soothing, subtle presence during the dream, and you can still feel your heart ache. Before you know it, you are wiping the tears forming in the corners of your eyes, and you are not sure which fact horrifies you more- the fact that you may not get a 100 in math, or the fact that she has started appearing in your dreams again after such a long time, just when you thought you were moving on.
Your back hurts and you know you have been twisting and turning a lot in your sleep. You groan and grab your laptop and start typing. Words flow from your fingertips, emotions flow from your heart. She's turning you into an insomniac like her. The only difference? She's a rule bender- she stays up all night talking to her boyfriend on the phone, and you stay up all night because of that. Sometimes you wish you could tell her it's unhealthy not to sleep at night (and gosh you are such a hypocrite!) but you don't, because you know she'll just think you're jealous, you know she doesn't care what you think and… you know she doesn't love you back.
And suddenly this love appears a little too cruel. You're not just losing your lover- but your best friend, your worst rival- your little sister, as well. And now you know that when feelings change for one person, it simply destroys everything.
You sigh and glance at the red glaring digits of the clock, and see that you have already wasted an hour in the maze of thoughts. So you sit up in your bed, rub sleep off your eyes and take a cold shower. You can see the rest of the day from here- you will feel sleepy the entire day, zone out during the last periods, skip the magic lessons and sleep in the evenings, and stay awake at night again.
You wipe water from your hair and face with a towel, and look at yourself in the mirror. The mirror appears hazy because of the water droplets dripping from it, and you look hazy too. Your entire life looks hazy- everything in your life feels surreal.
(A/N: reviews have slowed down so much these days… am I updating too fast, guys?)