Wonderland: The Trickmaster
'...I did nothing to deserve this.'
Leon wasn't in a very good mood. So they'd gone through all of the trouble to find the evidence—four freaking pieces of it!—and the queen decided that no, they were going to pick one piece of evidence and present it, because checking all of them would be a waste of time. Then she had the audacity of mixing up her box among all of the other boxes. Luckily, Sora had chosen the correct box, showing the real culprit to be a Heartless. Then she'd spouted some utter stupidity and said that anyone that defies The Queen was guilty anyway, so really, there had been no point in gathering the evidence in the first place! Then they had to fight a freaking deck of cards and break a Crank Tower to get to Alice, which wouldn't have been so hard if the other three weren't constantly within danger of his gunblade. Honestly!
...Leon's bad mood was clearly justified.
Finally growing annoyed and frustrated beyond belief and just wanting to destroy something, he growled and shoved a few cards away that had gotten too close. "MOVE!" Sora, Donald, and Goofy were surprisingly compliant, immediately shrinking away from him. He let out a snarl and began smashing the Crank Tower.
When it was left in pieces and the cage holding Alice fell back to the ground, he felt immensely relieved. If he hadn't been a stoic man, he would have laughed a little. That was, until, he saw that the cage Alice was in didn't actually have her.
"...Are you serious?"
The Queen of Hearts was obviously less than pleased. "What! Where could she have gone! Find her now, or it's off with your heads!" she shouted at the cards, making them scatter before disappearing to various parts of the world to search for the little blonde.
"She must have gotten kidnapped while we were fighting," Donald stated, frowning.
"Let's get lost before she sicks those stupid cards on us again," Leon muttered, leading the way back toward the Lotus Forest.
Sora followed him, frowning as well. "We're going to look for Alice too, aren't we, Leon?"
"Where would we start? We have no idea where she could be. Besides, if someone's kidnapped her, I doubt she's still on this world."
"My, my. What a glass-half-empty outlook!" The quartet turned in surprise to see the Cheshire Cat perched on a branch, grinning his Cheshire grin a them. Leon chose not to answer him; he refused to have a conversation with someone that had the attention span of Yuffie and was not specifically Yuffie.
"Have you seen Alice?" Sora asked quickly, his concern for the girl growing.
The feline tilted his head, grin still in place. "Alice, no. Shadows, yes!"
Goofy tilted his head as they all made the connection in their minds that the Shadows had to do with Alice's disappearance. "Where did they go?"
For some reason, Leon knew that nothing helpful would come from the feline. He was not disappointed.
"This way? That way? Does it matter? Left, right, up, down! All mixed up thanks to the Shadows!" the Cheshire Cat replied, heaving a dramatic sigh. His grin was still in place. "Step deeper into the forest to the deserted garden. You might find shadows in the upside-down room!"
Ah, so he'd been proven wrong. 'He's useful after all.'
"Can't you stop speaking in rhymes and riddles?" Sora complained, just before the cat disappeared from view. "Hey! I wasn't finished talking to you!"
"...I don't think he cares," Donald replied, before leading the way deeper into the forest.
"Gawrsh, I wonder how he disappears and reappears like that?" Goofy asked, frowning in thought, but followed him nonetheless.
Leon sighed, frowning. 'He has a valid point. ...I blame it on the insanity of this world. The cat's insane, the queen's insane, the freaking flowers are insane.' He paused in thought, then mentally added, 'Sora, Donald, and Goofy are insane, too, for getting me stuck in this mess and in this world.'
Though this was not completely fair, the brunet's feelings were clearly justified when they found themselves in the bizarre room again, but the bizarre room appeared more bizarre because everything was upside-down.
The Cheshire Cat decided to make his entrance again, grinning his (what Leon now considered annoying) Cheshire grin. "They're hiding somewhere. Want to find the shadows?"
"Yes, so tell us where they are!" Sora exclaimed, growing impatient. Leon didn't blame him.
"Patience, my spiky-haired friend, is a virtue," the cat stated, sniffing in mock-offense. "If you want to find the shadows, try turning on the lights."
Leon frowned, knowing that what the cat had said was logical but refusing to believe that it was that easy, considering the cat had said it. "...Sounds simple enough..."
"Don't be so pessimistic! Why would the kitty want to hurt us?" Sora asked, elbowing the older brunet in the side playfully and either ignoring or missing completely the Cheshire Cat's
indignant squawk at being called a 'kitty.' "Let's just turn on some lights and see the shadows that took Alice!"
"...Fine. But I don't trust that cat!" Leon replied, following him over to one of the lamps and casting fire on it to brighten up the room.
"It's too dim," the Cheshire Cat pointed out. "Make it brighter!"
Leon glanced at his gunblade. Sure, he couldn't reach the cat, but a well-aimed bullet—
"Absolutely not," Sora ordered, as if reading the older man's mind, his hands placed on his hips. "Leon, be serious! We need to find Alice!"
The older brunet did not point out that he was completely serious about shooting the cat as Donald and Goofy led the way to the next light. This one he let Sora light; he needed the practice with his magic. That, and watching Donald and Goofy running around when the Keyblade master missed the first few times to avoid being hit by the flames was totally worth being dragged along on this stupid adventure.
The Cheshire Cat decided to make his presence known again. "One more lamp that you need to light," he informed them, and Leon was beginning to wonder if that cat. Ever. Frowned.
Deciding he didn't want to move, and that the lamp was close enough to the cat to give it a good scare, Leon reached his hand out and sent fire at the third and final lamp. The cat winced slightly as the lamp burst to life, but to Leon's consternation, his grin stayed in place. "Do you ever fucking frown!?" he exclaimed, glaring at the cat.
"All the lights are on," the cat pointed out, closing his eyes in glee at the gunblade wielder's frustration. "You'll see the shadows soon. It's not guaranteed that they'll rise up in this room, however." His grin seemed to grow at that. "The shadows might go after that doorknob, too."
"Well if the shadows aren't going to show up where we are, why are we still here?" Donald asked irately, leading the way from the room back to the original and slightly normal bizarre room.
And, like some sort of little annoying fairy-god-cat, the Cheshire cat appeared on top of the table. "You'll have a better view from higher up," he commented, and Leon had to admit, the cat spoke sense this time.
They made their ways over to the chair next to the table. Leon gave Sora a help up (though the teen swore he could have gotten up by himself) and Goofy grabbed Donald to help him up. This was followed by Donald yelling and shouting and, as soon as he was up on the chair, jumping up and down in his fury. Leon and Goofy decided to ignore him as they climbed up as well.
Once on the table, Sora bounded over to the edge near the cat, placing his hand over his eyes to shield them from the light and looking around expectantly. "So where are the shadows?"
"The shadows should be here soon," the Cheshire Cat replied. "Are you prepared for the worst?"
"What's the worst that could happen?" Goofy asked, making the Cheshire Cat blink at him before sighing.
"Apparently not. Well, if you're really not prepared for the worst, too bad!" And he disappeared, flashing one last Cheshire grin at them and pointing upward.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Donald asked worriedly.
Leon looked up in confusion, wondering just what the cat was pointing to, and couldn't help a gasp of surprise as he immediately grabbed Lion Heart. "Shit!"
The giant Heartless that looked annoyingly like some sort of warped court jester fell from the ceiling, making the ground shake. He bounced to the other side of the room, jumping over the table completely, and making the ground shake again. Springing into action quickly, because the other three were obviously still too stunned from the Trickmaster's sudden appearance, Leon leapt off of the table and tried to cleave the Heartless in two, hoping it would be just as weak as all of the other Heartless he'd ever encountered.
Unfortunately, life would never be so easy on him. The Trickmaster deflected his attack with one of his bowling pins—a fucking bowling pin!—and went to smash him with the other. He parried and began slashing at its damnably bouncy legs, but that didn't seem to be doing much good. Taking his eyes from the Heartless for only a second, he glanced up at the table. "Attack its body! Attacking his legs isn't doing anything!"
He could see the others hesitate, but thank God they trusted him—the experienced fighter—and did as told. They didn't really do much damage the first round, but he wasn't really expecting them to. Donald's magic wasn't exactly the strongest—not that his was, either; Aerith held that place with an iron control almost as good as Merlin's—and Goofy was just beating it with his shield. Luckily, Sora did a little more damage than the other two. Unluckily, they were stuck on the ground with him now, in danger of being hit and unable to hit the Heartless back.
...Sora looked light enough. "Hey, Sora, come here," he ordered, and the teen ducked and dodged his way over to him.
"What?"
"On the count of three, I'm going to throw you at it." He was expecting maybe a little trepidation or hesitance from the Keyblade wielder.
Instead, all he got was a cheerful, "Okay! Sounds cool!"
Leon could only send him a stunned stare. "...Your idea of 'cool' frightens me."
"Are you going to throw me or what?" Sora asked impatiently, scowling at him.
"...Whatever," he sighed, grabbing the teen around the waist and slinging him upward toward the Trickmaster. "Huh. Heavier than I thought," he muttered, returning to his distraction of the Trickmaster so it wouldn't turn its killer bowling pins—it was attacking them with fucking bowling pins!—on Sora.
They continued this system of battle for a good few minutes; Sora and Donald attacking and Goofy and Leon defending/distracting. It helped that Leon knew the spell cure. He was certain that if he hadn't used it as much as he had, they'd be having a bit of trouble right now, what with the time it takes to actually consume a potion and then the time added to that for it to actually start working.
He should have made them get hi-potions. Potions don't do squat unless you have the time to wait for your stamina to be restored. He'd need to point that out to them—
"OH MY GOD!" he yelped, ducking to the side, as a ball of fire went soaring right where he'd been a second beforehand.
...And he'd have to find a spot in the next world where Sora could practice the aim of his spells for a little while.
Sora gave the Trickmaster three more hits, and then it was down and out, its large, crystalline heart floating up into the air and to, Leon assumed, the place hearts go to when Heartless are destroyed: Kingdom Hearts.
"You! We're practicing your aiming of spells the next chance we get!" Leon snapped, pointing at Sora. "That was almost my head!"
"Sorry, it moved!" the teen exclaimed, frowning.
"What a racket! How's a doorknob to get any sleep?" the Doorknob asked, yawning.
Leon narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw to keep dozens of rude—and most likely mean—retorts from slipping out and insulting the Doorknob, because Aerith had drilled it into his head to at least be civil—he didn't even have to be polite, just civil—and he knew that if Sora, Donald, or Goofy let it slip that he was mean for no reason, the healer—though a kind, gentle, and fair woman—would most likely smack him upside the head, or worse.
She may have worn pink, but Aerith was strict about manners. ...Or Leon's lack thereof.
While the Doorknob's mouth was wide open (how tempting would it be to shove a ball in his mouth so big he couldn't spit it out?), a keyhole shone brightly inside it. The end of Sora's Keyblade began to glow as well, before a beam of light was emitted from the end and instantly connecting with the keyhole in the Doorknob's mouth, and there was the sound of something locking.
"...What was that?" Donald asked, feathered brows furrowing together in confusion.
Sora shrugged slightly, looking perplexed. "I don't know. It sounded like something... locked."
They all watched silently as a gummi piece fell to the ground, down to the point where it stopped moving.
"...It's a gummi piece," Leon stated, crossing his arms and sighing in annoyance. "Do we want it or not? Free pieces are hard to come by."
Goofy picked it up and squinted at it, as if scrutinizing it. "This gummi ain't like the others, no sir," he finally stated, handing the gummi piece to Donald.
Donald took it and put it... somewhere to be safe, because as Leon had said, free gummi pieces were hard to come by. "Okay, I'll hold onto it."
Leon stiffened as he felt a pair of eyes boring into his back and turned quickly, glaring at the one that had been watching him. "You!"
The Cheshire Cat tilted his head, as if to show his innocence, but that stupid grin was still in place on his feline lips. "Me!" He jumped to his feet and clapped for them. "Splendid! You're quite the heroes." He sat back and seemed to sigh wistfully, but you had to wonder if it was sincere, because he was still grinning. "If you're looking for Alice, she's not here. She's gone! Off with the shadows, into the darkness."
And then he disappeared.
Sora visibly deflated at this. "No..."
Donald frowned, then suggested, "Let's get back to the gummi ship. We might find her on some other world."
"I've just got one question," Leon answered, crossing his arms. "How?"
-x-x-x-
"I can't guarantee what's going to happen to you after the Time Compression. You may be older, you may be younger... I really don't know. But at least you'll be okay."
"But... Rinoa, you don't have to do this," Squall pleaded, frowning in concern. "Come on, just stop—"
"Squall, deal with it," she ordered sharply, scowling at him. "I can't save everyone, but at least I can save the people I care about."
He sighed loudly. "Rinoa..."
She smiled and waved at him. "Have fun and at least try to move on, Squall!"
"But—"
'I had to go through puberty allover again,' Leon thought darkly, crossing his arms and scowling. 'I better not have been the only one that had to suffer through that. ...At least make Seifer had to go through it!'
"So! Back to family," Sora stated, leaving the defense of the ship to Goofy as he flopped into the chair beside the older man. "What roles would you assign to Aerith, Cid, and Yuffie?"
"Aerith is easy. She's my older sister figure. ...Cid and Yuffie are going to take a while to figure out." Leon frowned in thought. "Aerith was the one that found me in Traverse Town and took me in."
"Cool!" the teen exclaimed, smiling at him.
The older brunet managed a small smile back at him before looking toward the front of the ship. He sat up slightly in veiled excitement. "Is that a new world?"
"Yep," Donald replied, steering toward it. "We're gonna land there and look around for the king."
"...And Sora's friends," Leon added, making Sora smile at him. "For the king and Sora's friends?"
"Right. I just figured he knew that part," the duck answered quickly.
The gunblader frowned and crossed his arms, tilting his head back against the seat. For some reason, he had a very bad feeling about this world.