Thanks to enough reviewers, this story will be posted in its entirety (well, maybe minus one pointless chapter). Thank you for your time.
And a special thanks to Yeyana Valentine and Teya Yashitoda, without whom this chapter would not have been posted!
Disclaimer: I don't own JTHM, Squee, or any of these songs.
This is one of my first times writing Nny, so he's probably OOC.
I apologize for this chapter's shortness… but I'm posting two chapters so nyah.
Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums,
Part Three:
Hold On
"Don't rush me just this once… I want to make this moment last… And not like that Squee." Nny frowned, looking somewhat disappointed that Todd thought he'd 'immortalize the moment' by killing him. Where had he gotten that idea anyhow? Oh, yeah… He'd told him one night… About her and the others. How he'd had to have killed them, there was no other way to prolong the rapture when you could only feel for a moment of clarity at a time. But now… Now he could feel, and feel whenever he wanted to.
He wasn't going to let this pass by.
Todd was fairly overwhelmed. He'd never been a relationship of this kind before, though he knew Nny had come closer than he ever had. Nothing was the same anymore! He'd been used to feelings of fear around Nny, but this… this feeling was far different. Love. Such a strong word. Was that what this was? This desire to be with somebody every second of the day? To see them smile, hear them laugh, creepy as it may be? To have someone that made life worth living, death worth dying? He supposed that was so. Love…
Nny was used to emptiness and pretending. This… He was totally unprepared for this. Every previous touch, every almost-kiss, empty. Love. He'd thought it was just a word, nothing more. But now he finally saw the truth. It was so much more, so much more to be loved and love in return. Nny had never had as strong a relationship (with someone he didn't hate) as the one he shared with that boy from the life that seemed so long ago. All those people that said they 'loved' him. Feh, what lies. They were empty beings, there was no getting around that. Empty beings of empty touch, empty sentiment. Todd… He was so different. He alone could break through the veil of emptiness and false touch, he alone could love
As they sat on the roof and watched the stars trace their ever moving path across the sky, Nny felt like life was perfect. He wanted to remember every feeling, every sight, and every sound. The feel of his fingers entwined with Todd's, the feel of the wind blowing through his hair. The crickets chirping as if in concert merely for them two. The bright stars echoing their love right back at them. Everything.
Nny didn't want to lose what was happening between them, and he knew Todd felt the same. He looked over at him then, to stare at him and memorize every moonlit detail. Todd turned over too, feeling Nny's gaze, and smiled. Nny smiled back.
Time had better not try to steal any of this away…
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Nny closed his eyes, trying to memorize the moment, the way things were that very minute. Todd's body above his, their soft sighs… Yes, he was allowing the forbidden. The very act which disgusted him so, with anyone else. But with Todd… It was so different, and he was able to enjoy it entirely. Actually, he enjoyed it a little too much. Red lines crisscrossed his lover's back, from his vicious hold and sharp fingernails. However, he gave only what he got. Todd has sunk his teeth into Nny's shoulder, drawing blood, like he were some twisted sort of teen vampire, but Nny didn't mind. In fact, he reveled in every second of it, this love-violence that they created together.
Nny wasn't sure memory was sufficient enough to hold moments like this… If time ever tried to fade this away, he swore he would kill every clock and calendar he saw. But time was so much more than minutes, hours, days… It was an entity. It was everything and nothing at the same time. It was… killing Todd, and they both knew it. Each year older he got, the farther away from life and Nny he became. It would be too much to ask to have him elevated into waste-lock status, and too little to not have him be one. Oh, life and its cruel ironies! But they couldn't have everything. Some day, they wouldn't be able to protect each other, Nny wouldn't be able to return the favor and do his part.
And somehow, they both know the other knew this.