Okay so this story was inspired by Robert Pattinson's smexxi British accent. REVIEW!
*Alice and Rosalie are sitting on the couch talking about fashion*
"Oh em jay I love your outfit today Rose!" Alice exclaimed.
"You picked it out," Rosalie said and rolled her eyes.
"I know! I'm a genius aren't I?" Alice said.
*Jasper walks into the room*
Jasper walked into the room and Alice said, "Hey smexxi husband!"
"Hello pixie wife!" Jasper said.
"Oh, how I love you so" Alice said in a British voice.
"Why, I love you too darling. Let us go drink tea," Jasper said also talking in a British voice.
"We don't eat chiz-brains. And we're not British!" Rosalie screamed.
"Thanks a lot Rosalie! You totally ruined it yo!" Alice screamed now talking in a weird voice again.
"Yeah, homie. What the fuzz?" Jasper said immediately acting all ghetto like Alice.
"Now you're acting ghetto?" Rosalie asked.
"That's right! It's lil Alice and Big J, yo!" Alice said while making gang signs.
*Charlie shows up*
"I'm arresting you for being in a gang!" he screams.
"WHAT? I AIN'T IN NO GANG, YO!" Alice exclaimed.
"Turn around and let me check your pockets for drugs," Charlie ordered.
"Um, obvious much?" Rosalie asked sarcastically.
*Alice turns around and Charlie searches her pockets*
"I don't have any drugs, homie," Alice said.
*Charlie pulls out crack and marijuana*
"What is this?" Charlie asked and held up the drugs.
"Well sir I believe those are drugs. I don't know how they got there though!" Alice exclaimed.
"Yeah right. Tell it to the judge midget" Charlie said.
"But these aren't my pants yo!" Alice exclaimed.
"Then whose are they?" Charlie said sarcastically.
"They're Mike Newton's! I'll show you! He's wearing my pants because I decided I wanted him to look gay and I wanted to be gangsta," Alice said.
"Where's Mike?" Charlie asked.
"He's down in our basement," Alice said.
"Why is he in your basement?" Charlie asked.
"Rosalie flicked his head and he died," Alice explained.
"It's not my fault he has a soft skull," Rosalie said.
"Okay then take me to the basement," Charlie said.
*They walk to the basement and see Mike Newton dead*
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Charlie screams like a little girl and ran away.
"What the fuzz?" Alice mumbled to herself.
"Okay don't hurt me and I won't arrest you," Charlie said.
"Okay!" Alice said happily.
"Whatever," Rosalie said and rolled her eyes.
"I got yo back, homie," Jasper said.
"Okay then. I will be going now," Charlie said.
"Wait Charlie! One more thing. Come here," Rosalie said.
*Alice giggles*
"There's something in your hair," Rosalie said with an evil smile.
*Jasper laughs and Charlie stares at them*
"There's something in my hair?" he asks.
"Yeah," Rosalie said.
"Bye-Bye Charlie!" Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper say at the same time.
*Rosalie moves at vampire speed to stand in front of Charlie and she reaches up to his head and slaps it. . . . Everyone laughs. . . . Charlie dies. . . . They all laugh harder*
Okay this chapter isn't very good but I love lil Alice and Big J and I just HAD to write this. =) REVIEW AND I WILL LET YOU JOIN ALICE AND JASPER'S RAP GROUP! =P