Bloodstained Dreams

~~~~~~~E~~~~~~~

you don't remember me, but I remember you

I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you

But who can decide what they dream?

And dream I do…

~Evanescence

"Light-kun."

"Huh?"

"You're staring at me again. Are you sure you don't want some cake? I would be more than happy to give it to you."

"Uh, no Ryuzaki, that's fine. I was just thinking."

"Oh? What of?"

"Shouldn't you be working on the case?"

L glanced at the computer glaring garishly at them. It was unusually quiet, as L had given the task force a few days off, and without Matsuda there, the only noises besides there voices were those of the computer and the rain outside. It was rather unnerving, and L felt another coffee craving coming. He attempted to stifle a yawn, covering it with a sigh, as usual.

"Would you like to come with me and get a cup of coffee?" he asked Light, who laughed.

"You say it as if I have a choice in the matter." He jingled the handcuffs. L smiled weakly in return.

"Let's go out this time. Perhaps to the shop we visited before, where I interrogated you about kira?"

"Whatever you say." Light stood and stretched, while L remained perpetually slouched. L phoned Watari, who agreed to drive them.

"I have a car, you know."

"Yes, but seeing as there is a relatively high probability that you are kira, and that one of the things kira would like is for me to be dead, I am sure you can understand why I am rather hesitant to put my life in your hands. I assure you, Watari is an excellent chauffer."

"You really aren't giving up, are you."

"No."

"…"

'L. I have arrived.'

Watari's voice floated through a speaker, announcing his arrival, so the two headed down to the lobby, where a few people gawked awkwardly at the two men, handcuffed together. L simply ignored them, and Light waved to a small child, who's mother yanked closer, muttering something about 'pedophilic perverts'. Watari tipped his hat to the two, and L clambered into the back of the Limo, somehow managing to balance in a moving car.

……

"So Ryuzaki," Light said through a sip of coffee, "Do you ever remember anything about your night terrors, or is it all just a blank?"

"This is what you were thinking about earlier." It was not a question.

"Well, yes. I was just curious. The other night you said some things and I was wondering if you remembered any of it."

L pondered for a moment, adding a dozen more sugar cubes to his coffee and stirring it until they dissolved before continuing.

"It's less of specific images or phrases that I remember. Just this feeling…like there is nothing but you for all eternity. No one's there. No one cares enough to save you…I sometimes wonder…if that's how A felt. Before he died. If I had just cared a little more for him and a little less for my studies, maybe he would have survived." He stared vacantly into his coffee, before suddenly snapping to focus and staring piercingly into Light's eyes with an unblinking gaze. He suddenly seemed less thoughtful, and more paranoid, his crouch beginning to look like he was about to spring like a cat.

"Why do you keep asking about this? Are you trying to make me weak, kira? Trying to learn my weaknesses?"

"Ryuzaki! I am not Kira!"

L sipped, as if to say 'yeah, right.'

"You were talking the other night. You said that you were all alone in the nothingness." Light stared back into L's eyes, meeting the stare with burning intensity. L had yet to blink. "You said you heard the bells that tolled at A's funeral. You only woke up when I told you that you weren't alone. That I was there."

L looked away, clenching his jaw.

"What does it matter to you anyway?"

"It matters to me, Ryuzaki. It matters because I care."

L scoffed, and took another sip.

"You said we were friends…?" Light asked the phrase as a question, waiting for L to agree.

"So I did…was it not an act?"

"What?! Ryuzaki, you thought I was acting?! This lack of sleep is making you have poor judgment. I meant it."

"Light-kun, I said you were my first ever friend. A was my first ever friend. Not you."

Light didn't know what to say to that, so he finished off his coffee and started on a small peanut butter flavored cookie, the free gift with coffee purchase. L seemed halfway smug, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. Did he think he had hit a sore spot? If they weren't friends as he had thought, then why would L tell him about his night terrors, his friend A, his fears? He decided to skip the speculation, and ask.

"So why do you behave as if we're friends, if you're only acting."

"…Is it not part of the act?" The way L kept answering questions with questions really was getting on Light's nerves.

"No, Ryuzaki, I don't think it is. I think we have something, but you're too afraid to admit it. Because of A. Because of Kira. You don't want to be my friend, because you got your last friend killed, and if I'm kira, you'll have to kill me too. Well get this, Ryuzaki. I. Am not. Kira. You don't have to be afraid anymore."

L stood up with a clatter, his chair nearly falling over. His teeth were clenched, and he looked like he wanted to kick something.

"I will be leaving now. Come or stay as you like." his voice was icy, his gaze like stone. He walked off as stiffly as one can while remaining slouched. The handcuffs caught, almost yanking Light from his chair. He stood up hastily.

" 'Come or stay as you like' my ass…" he muttered, collecting his coat and venturing outside into the rain a few paces behind the young detective. Watari opened the door for L, who climbed inside, dragging Light with him. A stiff silence accompanied them to the headquarters. L glared out the darkened window, and Light crossed and uncrossed his legs uncomfortably. If Watari noticed their strange behavior, he said nothing to indicate it, and he bid them adieu with a tip of his hat.

"If you need anything, do not hesitate to call…" L nodded his acknowledgement, and the silence was even more deafening once the old man was gone. The young detective perched on his chair, fully immersed in his work, his eyes narrowed at the computer screen. Light found the whooshing of the rain around the building very distracting, and settled for staring blankly at the sack of papers L had handed him. Maybe he had hit too close with his accusations. He probably shouldn't have brought up A, but it had to be true or L wouldn't be reacting like this. So all he had to do was wait. L would come around eventually, right?

L seethed. How dare he bring up A, use A's death for his cause! He wasn't afraid! He simply refused to befriend a killer!

Right?

Or was he afraid? He had gotten A killed! Light reminded him so much of A. Their hair was the same color, cut in relatively the same style. Their eyes were much the same too, Light's being only a shade redder than A's were. He and A were always on the same wavelength, usually thinking the same things almost in unison- much like he and Light were.

But A would never use his smarts to kill people, to manipulate life. If Light was as similar to A as he thought, was it possible that Light wasn't kira…?

No! Light was manipulating him! Somehow, he knew this, he was using it to his advantage, to clear his name, to find L's weaknesses. He wouldn't stand for this! He would not be manipulated like a pawn in Kira's game! He glared at the boy next to him, and his stomach jolted when his gaze met Light's.

Light's eyes widened upon meeting L's. Adrenaline pulsed involuntarily into his bloodstream. L looked…wild. Like he might suddenly spring and claw Light apart. The brunette shook his head. L wasn't a wild animal, he was a person. A very angry person. Light still managed to be afraid, he had seen and felt L in action before, and it hurt. A kick like that to someone's jaw could snap their neck! The sudden feeling of being trapped, cornered, flooded Light's mind, momentarily blinding him. He never intended to make L this angry! He wouldn't be able to get away if L decided to attack him, and there was no one else here to break up the fight!

L's thoughts were briefly spun into turmoil. Light was scared…scared of him! It showed plainly on his face, and he looked ready to fight. He watched as Light shook his head to rid himself of some thought.

A used to do that.

How many times did A do that while deciding to take his life? Did he shake his head at the thought that L would walk in, right as the knife cut through A's flesh? That L would watch him die, blood soaking through his clothes and into his dreams?

L closed his eyes, seeing only red, the red of anger, the red of blood. Abruptly, he was exhausted. He couldn't take this anymore, none of it. How long had it been since he slept, really slept? He couldn't remember. If not having a night terror, he still couldn't sleep well. Just when he was really asleep- he'd wake up. Sometimes screaming, sometimes crying, sometimes panting as if he'd been running, his heart pounding.

Before he knew it, his thoughts faded into colors, into blackness, and he slipped from his chair, nearly cracking his skull on the tile floor before Light caught him.

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I hope everyone likes this chapter! I made sure it was longer than the other two chapters, to make up for how short they are. This is actually the longest chapter I've ever written. ^_^ I could have continued from here into chapter four, but I decided not to. Better to have something to go on to start the next one with, right? And I correct what I said before, this would be a LightxL, not LxLight. I've gotten into the habit of putting my favorite character first, and the other second, so that's why I put Llight before. I think it's mostly going to be fluff (I really suck at smut) but then I might try it again, who knows???