Dinner has been a noisy affair, with yet another round of Usopp and Franky suggesting the most preposterous theories they can imagine: everything from tantric sex rituals to Haki to abduction by flying saucers. It's evolved into an ongoing game of one-upmanship between them for the past month or so, much to the great amusement of some crewmembers and the dismay of others.

Zoro's been banned from bringing his swords to the table, following an incident earlier this week that ended in the utter destruction of an innocent chair, but this doesn't keep him from trying to throttle Usopp with his bare hands when the somber-faced sniper asks him if he's absolutely certain he's never been violated by an alien probe.

"I keep thinking about what Franky said," Nami muses suddenly to Brook as he sits beside her in the library, the desk before them strewn with paperwork. "Wouldn't it be weird if Luffy really did, oh, I don't know, accidentally will Zoro pregnant using Haki?"

The skeleton, who's found himself roped into helping with the budget ever since the delighted navigator discovered he has a good head for numbers, regards her thoughtfully. "I take it you're referring to the so-called Haōshoku form."

He scratches his head, producing a faint screeching noise that makes Nami flinch. "Ah- my apologies. It's an interesting theory, but I very much doubt that it has anything to do with their current situation. Not that I know very much about Haki myself; perhaps you might ask Robin-san-?"

"No, you heard Luffy. He just laughed and said Rayleigh never mentioned anything like that during his training. It was just a thought, considering how happy and excited he is about being a father- which makes me wonder if he's ever thought about it before." She shrugs and starts shuffling documents into a neat pile. "Oh well. I guess we'll probably never know, not that it really matters at this point."

"Indeed."

The slap of sandals on the deck outside reaches them moments before the captain's head pops around the doorframe. "Nami~?"

"Hmm?"

"Robin says she's gonna be up really late reading, and-"

"And I've got watch." She sighs. "Go ahead- but don't you dare leave crumbs on my pillowcase this time!"

"Sure," Luffy agrees without a second thought, grinning as he turns and runs past the main mast to yell down over the railing. "Oi, Zoro, we got the bed again tonight!"

Nami watches, smiling, as he launches himself over the railing and disappears from sight, and she catches a startled yell from the unseen swordsman as the captain unexpectedly drops down beside him, followed by the low drone of quiet conversation and then a belated shout of "thanks, Nami!" before the voices fade as the pair heads towards the stairs to the lawn deck.

"What was that all about?" Brook asks curiously.

"That's right, I forgot. You usually spend the night near the helm instead of in the men's quarters, so you don't know."

It's a curious habit, given the skeleton's many years of solitary exile, but he's explained that he can't stand using a box hammock because it reminds him too much of laying in a coffin. Franky, moved to excessive and tumultuous tears, has offered to find a solution, but Brook's insisted that he's grown to enjoy resting under the stars because he knows his crew is sleeping safely nearby.

"Chopper told Zoro to start sleeping on the sofa because it's better for his back, and he doesn't want him climbing in and out of the hammocks, but Luffy's been complaining that they can't sleep together anymore because they can't fit side-by-side. He claims Zoro's stomach keeps knocking him on the floor."

Brook tilts his head questioningly, and the navigator laughs. "That's what he says anyway. I have no idea if he's exaggerating, because Zoro's wearing that damn coat every time I see him."

"Yes, it does seem to have become a permanent piece of Zoro-san's attire."

"Anyway, Robin suggested that they might like some time to themselves without the other guys around, so we worked out an agreement that they can borrow our room for the night if we're not going to be using it."

"Ah, Nami-san? Doesn't that mean-?"

"Oh, I'm sure they're doing more than just sleeping. It can't be coincidence that our captain's been looking so smug lately, although I haven't heard Zoro complaining either." She eases out of her chair and straightens up, stretching her arms over her head. "Mmph. It's alright, I don't really mind. They've been good about washing the sheets afterwards, and Zoro's almost always pretty mellow the next day, so I don't have to worry about him picking fights with Sanji and racking up more damages to repair at the next island."

She grins at Brook. "And of course they pay handsomely for the privilege as well."

"I see."

"Now if only I could just get Luffy to stop sneaking food in there. The last thing we need is having the ship overrun by mice."

xxx

Flopping haphazardly onto the bed, limbs thrown spread-eagle so his hands and feet are dangling off both sides, Luffy utters an exaggerated sigh of contentment. "Aah~ this is so comfy. I want a bed like this to sleep in all the time."

"You're the captain, dummy," Zoro snorts, reaching down to tousle the younger pirate's hair. "Just tell Franky you want him to do some remodeling."

"Maybe I will..." He scrambles up and sits cross-legged on the mattress, snagging the sash tied around the swordsman's waist so he can reel him closer while unknotting it. "Why does Zoro keep wearing this stupid coat? It makes him harder to undress..."

"I already get enough weird looks from everybody when they think I'm not looking. I don't need them staring at this too." The older pirate glances away, lapsing into uncomfortable silence as Luffy's hands slide under his haramaki to explore the developing curve he's refused to show to anyone but the captain- and Chopper, because although Zoro hates suffering through weekly check-ups, the reindeer won't take no for an answer. "They'll just laugh at-"

He breaks off mid-protest, grunting as his captain's fingers trace along the waistband of his trousers and then delve inside to wrap firmly around him.

"Mmm, Zoro's hard already and I barely touched him," Luffy murmurs, ducking his head to nuzzle his cheek against the swordsman's belly and grinning when the caress produces a gasp and a choked curse. "He's so sensitive right now."

Flushing darkly - it's been downright embarrassing lately how fast minimal contact can leave his pulse racing and his synapses misfiring - Zoro bites the inside of his cheek to keep from groaning as a warm wet mouth travels along the scar crossing his torso, kissing and biting and sucking on its way to his left nipple.

In a matter of minutes, he finds himself stripped of both pants and haramaki and lying supine on the bed with his coat still partially draped over his shoulders and crumpled in a dark puddle around him, clawing at the mattress as Luffy strokes his chest and stomach and aching erection with one hand while the oil-slicked fingers of the other move insistently in and out of his tense body, coaxing him towards release.

He can't tear his gaze away from his captain's hunger-filled eyes, which are wide and watching his squirming with focused intensity, and the sight of the younger pirate's tongue darting out to moisten his lips sends a violent shudder through his entire frame as his control snaps. He's left panting and shivering under the hand still petting and stroking his over-sensitized skin.

"That didn't take long at all," the rubber man laughs, his voice rough with arousal. He slides his fingers free, grinning when this prompts a dazed mutter of protest, and moves both hands under the older pirate's knees to tilt his hips higher so he can press himself into the swordsman's body. "Mmm, Zoro feels r-really good..."

Back arching slightly as Luffy slides home and then pauses to collect himself, Zoro closes his eye with a groan, slowly relaxing his fingers where they've been clutching tight fistfuls of his coat and the sheets. He leans his head back, breathing heavily through his mouth.

He's still basking in the tingling afterglow of his orgasm when his captain, who's been quietly studying his slack expression and suddenly wants very badly to kiss him, bends down and inadvertently crushes his chest and stomach under his own folded legs as the younger pirate strains to reach his face.

"Mmph- ow, stop. Oi, I said stop! Don't lean on me, it fucking hurts!"

To his relief Luffy backs off as soon as he realizes the distress is genuine, rubbing his belly lightly in apology, and after a bit of squabbling and awkward maneuvering, they finally get situated with the captain spooning Zoro's back and mouthing his shoulder and the back of his neck as he pulls the older pirate more firmly into his shallow thrusts.

"Better?"

"Nngh, y-yeah."

Zoro's leaning his head back, aiding Luffy in his desperate quest to join their lips, when they both register the barely perceptible stirring where the younger pirate's fingers are gripping his abdomen and instantly freeze, staring uncertainly into each other's faces. The swordsman utters an odd wheezing noise as it finally occurs to him that the funny fluttering sensation that he's been aware of for the past few days has probably not been gas or indigestion like he thought, not if his captain can feel it too.

"What was that?"

"I-I'm not sure," The older pirate lies, his voice sounding slightly strained. He needs time to think about what he's just realized, because if that odd shifting really is the thing - oh god, baby, he reminds himself, now feeling as though he's been thoroughly pole-axed - inside him, it's just made the whole situation a lot more real. Chopper's tests and the nausea that's now thankfully gone and the damn prenatal vitamins and the fact that his trousers don't fit properly and will need to be let out again soon- he can ignore that stuff or even pretend there's another reason for it when he's feeling particularly overwhelmed, but this is different.

"Well, it definitely wasn't Zoro's stomach growling." Luffy rests his chin on the swordsman's shoulder and taps his fingertips firmly against the swell of his lover's stomach, laughing delightedly when there's another faint flicker of movement and promptly doing it again, his eyes enormous and dancing with excitement. "Zoro, Zoro, check it out! Oi, are you saying hello to us?"

"Jeez, Luffy, don't talk to the kid when we're-"

"Why not? It's not like it's gonna talk back or anything," the captain asks, puzzled, and snickers when Zoro's head whips around so the older pirate can shoot him an incredibly disturbed look. "Besides, I guess this is how we made it, right?"

Unable to argue with this logic but still finding the situation incredibly disturbing - he can't help feeling as though they've gained an unexpected and inescapable audience - the swordsman flushes and reaches back to cuff him in the side of the head. "Okay, this is seriously weirding me out, so maybe we should just go to slee-"

"Mmm, and we will. After I make Zoro feel good again."

"But-"

"Shhh, relax."

"Oi, wait, don't-"

But Luffy's already rocking gently against him, hand clasped firmly to his belly as the younger pirate murmurs silly but earnest endearments in his ear, and Zoro's protests cease unfinished because his captain is making love to him, protectively cradling the life quickening inside his body, and the astonishingly staggering emotion that's building in the swordsman's chest renders him breathless and completely incapable of continuing the argument.

xxx

Fuzzy-headed and groggy after a long, incredibly boring night in the look out tower, Nami forgets to knock when she pushes open the door to the women's quarters, assuming that the guys have already vacated and turned the room back over to Robin.

To her surprise, her bed is still occupied, Zoro's bare back visible from the doorway.

The swordsman is deeply asleep, his ribcage rising and falling steadily in time to his slow breathing, and she feels a stab of powerful curiousity, but she can't catch a glimpse of his abdomen without edging closer, even by standing on tip toe, because the sheet's heavily bunched and rumpled where it's draped over his waist.

Luffy is still awake, sprawled stomach-down on the far side of the older pirate with his chin propped on his folded arms and his feet kicking lazily. The navigator catches the low murmur of the captain's voice and frowns, momentarily confused that the younger pirate's addressing Zoro's midsection rather than his face if he's trying to wake him up, and then she catches a few words and abruptly realizes that he's not talking to Zoro, he's talking to their unborn baby.

She's walked in on such an incredibly private moment that she feels like an intruder in her own quarters and immediately starts backing out, but when her fumbling hand rattles the doorknob too loudly, the captain finally becomes aware of her presence and lifts his head, greeting her with a broad smile.

"Oi, Nami!" He's trying to be quiet, but he's also Luffy and therefore incorrigibly noisy, so it comes out quite a bit louder than necessary, and Nami flinches as the swordsman twitches in his sleep, muttering haltingly for Sanji to quit being such a bastard and bring him a beer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you guys were still here," she hisses, embarrassed that she's been caught gawking, but the captain just laughs and resettles his chin on his forearm.

"S'okay. I was just telling the kid about the time Zoro threatened to kill me when I saved him from the Marines. You hadn't shown up yet, Nami, so you didn't see it, but he was all dirty and bloody from getting tied to a pole and beat up and not eating for nine days, and he still wanted to kick my ass when I told him he was joining my crew!"

The navigator has no idea how to respond to this, although she supposes it's typical of Luffy to select such an... inappropriate... moment, even if that's how her nakama's first encounter really did go down. She's heard the two of them joke about it frequently enough to know he's telling the truth. "Couldn't you think of a more pleasant memory to share with your child?"

The younger pirate sits up and stares at her like she's crazy. "What are you talking about? That was one of the best days of my life, 'cause I met Zoro!"

"I understand that, Luffy, but-" It occurs to Nami that she's still standing in the doorway with her hand grasping the knob, and it's now bright enough outside that the early-risers - namely Sanji and Franky because Zoro hasn't been getting up for crack-of-dawn weight training for nearly two months now - will be emerging from the men's quarters soon. She slips inside, closing the door behind her, and heads for the nearest sofa. "Look, Luffy, I'm exhausted. I don't care if you want to stay 'til he wakes up, but-"

"Did Zoro ever tell you how he got caught?" Luffy demands as he watches her sink gratefully into the cushions.

"No, but-"

Leaning forward, his annoyed expression softening into one of surprising tenderness, the captain brushes gentle fingers over Zoro's cheek, snuggling closer when the swordsman stirs and drowsily reaches out for him. "He turned himself in to protect a kid. A little girl."

"I see..." She's trying very hard not to fall asleep while he's talking, because this is obviously very important to him, but she can't seem to keep her eyes open.

"If he agreed to let somebody weaker than him tie him up and starve him for a month to save somebody else's kid-" Luffy's voice catches in his throat, and when he looks up, his expression is fierce. "Zoro's gonna be an awesome dad."

Not like mine, or my brother's or even Usopp's, 'cause he's gonna be right there with me, keeping OUR kid safe, he's thinking, although he doesn't say it out loud. He has no idea what the future holds for his crew beyond the loosely definitive and rather broad term of "adventure" - that's inevitable, given their goals - but he does know that both he and his swordsman will do everything in their power to ensure that their child doesn't grow up scrounging in a city dump or restlessly watching the sea for a ship that never comes.