Hah! I was able to get this out before the end of the week! Thanks for the reviews. C: They keep me writing~ I'll try not to take so long to get this out next time.

Edit: Went back and corrected some things.

I'm not stupid.

Let's clear that up right now, shall we? Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot. I'm not as slow as everyone thinks I am. It's just a mask I wear. Because in order to be loved I must become what the world wants to see. Just because I act ignorant, doesn't mean I am. I would actually consider myself smarter than the average person.

I may not be a genius, but I see things. I wouldn't call it a sixth sense, but it's definitely something that other humans tend to lack. Whether it's a gift or a curse, I can't decide. It has helped me numerous times in the past, but sometimes I wish I really was as oblivious as I make people believe.

That thing is a complete understanding and comprehension of the human mind. I know the right words and actions to make the whole world fall in love with me. I can trick even the most brilliant of minds into thinking that I am this perfect little angel. I have tricked the most brilliant mind into thinking I'm a perfect little angel.

They couldn't be further from the truth though. If I'm an angel, my wings have been tainted. Tainted with selfishness and a sick love. Painted with red lies and black secrets. There was a time when my wings were white as the purest snow, but now they're just burned with so much malice that I could burst.

Ah, I must sound like a bad person. I'm sorry! I'm really not. I just have bad thoughts sometimes.

Hello, my name is Psyche.

Psyche's POV

The sun was bright that day. It's delicate rays bouncing off of shiny cars and warming my skin. I grinned up to the heavens and spread my arms, welcoming that glow. I loved days like these, where the sky was clear and bright. It reminded me of Tsugaru's eyes. Deep, calm, and filled with a steady heat. It gave me a feeling of peace, the daylight making me feel at one with everything around me.

The perfect sky contrasted with the broken concrete and debris that littered the school yard. Street signs, and even traffic lights were left on the normally clean campus of Raira academy. The culprits, of course, were my brother and the amazingly strong monster that attended the school. Their fight must have been really intense. I wondered who payed for those damages?

I let out a small sigh of discontent. I couldn't stand it when they fought. It drove me crazy knowing that every move they made only drove them further from my desired outcome. Sure, it was very entertaining. Actually, even if they were together, I would still like watching them fly around the city like animals at war. But I would rather them do it for reasons other than false hate.

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of them trying to kill each other over some sort of lover's spat. Wouldn't that be hilarious? It would be better than how they're hurting each other now.

"Psy-chan!" I felt my grin widen at the deep voice calling out to me. Glancing back at the twins, I gave my most brilliant smile. A well practiced expression that often left those around me speechless.

"Shizuo-san!" The name rolled effortlessly off my tongue, a song sung many times. I watched his eyes brighten at the sound of his name coming from my lips. It sickened me and excited me at the same time. I felt bad for brother.

I skipped over to them, keeping the smile on my face as I glanced over at Tsugaru. He gave me a small nod in acknowledgment, with the slightest hint of a smile and even a blush. I felt my heart skip a beat at the simple action. He may have been the only one in our group that wasn't doing anything stupid. And he was unbelievably sweet and cute. The perfect human.

Turning my attention back to Shizuo, I forced my lips into a small frown, making sure to look worried and innocent at the same time as my eyes flicked over cuts on his shirt without really seeing them.

"Shizuo-san, are you okay?" My eyes locked with his, and I can see the exhaustion there. He's already so tired from today's events. Stressed. The sight of the destruction he and Iza-nii caused was obviously taking a toll on him. I had to stop myself from smiling. He deserved it.

He gave a tiresome sigh, shaking his head before smiling at me. "I'm fine, Psy-chan." His face was warm like the sun. A look he only really gave me and his brothers. I felt my heart lurch at that fact.

It really wasn't fair.

Hiding my displeasure, I let the smile from before grace my features once again. "That's great, Shizuo-san!"

How annoying it was that he was completely unaware of what his actions were doing to Izaya.

My eyes raked over his clothes again. "I'm sorry Iza-nii ruined your uniform. I can patch them up for you!" As I expected, he shook his head at my offer. Not wanting to cause me any trouble.

"You two shouldn't fight so much." I breathed, no real meaning behind any of my words.

He looked at me, face contorted into a grimace. He seemed ridden with guilt, but only because he thought he was making me worry. Always the wrong reasons.

"I'm sorry, Psy-chan." He licked his lips nervously.

"It's okay, Shizuo-san!" I wished he'd stop apologizing to me.

"I'll try to have better control around the flea, okay?" Yeah right. Despite my disbelief, I looked at him with relief flooding my eyes. They'd be at it again tomorrow. Maybe even that day.

Before you get the idea, Shizuo isn't one I disliked. In fact, I adored the blonde. He just pissed me off sometimes.

I heard quiet footsteps coming from behind me, and sensed a slight falter in them as they got closer. Shizuo's eyes were suddenly glazed over in irritation, but he did his best to try and make it less evident. He was a pretty bad actor.

"Psy-chan." The voice made me shiver slightly. Suddenly I didn't have to fake a smile.

I glanced over at crimson eyes, smile brightening when I realized he seemed generally happy to see me. It was too rare those days. Normally he just looked at me with sadness or jealousy. Yes, there was still love, but the negatives often outweighed the positives.

"Iza-nii!" My smile faltered the slightest when I saw the white bandages, hardly noticeable on pale skin. He was hurt, but I knew he could handle a little bruise or two. Still, to think that under those bandages, that perfect skin was marred...

I shook off the twinge of anger and walk over to him, reaching over to intertwine my fingers with his. The warmth of his hand gave life to the butterflies rolling around in my stomach.

"Ready to go?" He was ignoring the other twins, not even giving them a glance. I kinda wanted to punch him for being such a coward, but his fingers wrapping around mine quickly replaced that urge with more butterflies.

I nodded at him, smiled for him, and sent a short wave over to the blondes before quickly making my way across the schoolyard with Izaya close behind. It wasn't long before he started rambling senselessly as we entered the crowded streets of Ikebukuro.

"You really need to find new friends, Psy-chan." I stopped myself from rolling my eyes, and instead gave him a questioning look. "Hanging out with monsters can't be healthy, you know. And what if that protozoan brain of his starts to rub off on you? Psy-chan, you're not very bright. Hanging out with idiots isn't going to help that at all."

I wanted to laugh at this. He always hid what he was really feeling through pointless and sometimes biting words. He was speaking out of jealousy, and trying to hide it by acting like he just didn't like Shizuo. As usual, I just played along.

"But Shizu-chan is so nice!" My lips quirked into an almost smirk at the way his eyebrow twitched in slight irritation. I felt like a hypocrite and a sadist. I despised how Shizuo made my brother miserable, but I didn't mind rubbing it into Izaya's face that I was the one he liked. I wondered what he would look like when he broke. When that cocky mask is covered in tears.

There are those bad thoughts again...

Despite the slight guilt I felt, I let the cruel innocent words continue. "I know he can be really scary, but he's really sweet to me. Like the other day, he shared some of his strawberry cake with me! He wouldn't even let Tsu-san have any. He was even kind enough to feed me! It was so yummy too!" I licked my lips with closed eyes to emphasize my point. I wondered if he realized he had stopped smiling. "And then he let me drink some of hi-"

"We're almost at the restaurant, Psyche." My grin widened at his rushed tone. He didn't even bother with the nickname. I felt bad for making him upset, but sometimes I just couldn't help it! His miserable face could be so cute. Those perfect lips were twisted into an unhappy frown, and I just wanted to touch them.

Brother is so beautiful, ne?

I watched as he approached the building, Russia Sushi as it was called, and entered. We were greeted by a tall and burly black Russian who's grin would have scared off most unknowing patrons. His name was Simon, and despite his threatening appearance, he was actually a pretty nice guy.

"Psyche! Izaya!" His heavily accented voice greeted us warmly. "Father and sister here! Come! You eat sushi, yes?" He grinned and started leading us further into the building, towards one of the private booths. I saw Izaya tense as we got closer and couldn't help but let my smile fall a bit. I do wonder why dad even bothered with these traditions.

As we entered the booth, I felt the bite of something horrible gnaw at my insides. The faces there always made me feel this way. Two identical girls, with a few minor differences, as well as a middle-aged man with black hair and tired brown eyes. Neither one of them looked at Izaya, but all of them smiled at me. My mouth began to hurt at the grin I was forcing. This kind of smile was always the hardest to keep.

What was this feeling again?

I saw the one order of Ootoro that sat across from the twins. Only one order? I almost wanted to yell at them. Need they be more obvious? Instead of sitting where the order was, where they most certainty wanted me to sit, I sat directly beside it. Making a point as to not touch the stuff. I felt Izaya's gaze on me and couldn't bring myself to look at him, knowing that his mask had probably fallen and he was looking at me with eyes filled with guilt and sadness, a rare sight to those who never really looked at him. I doubted that even he knew he had faces like that.

He hesitated before taking the seat beside me, not bothering to touch the food, though I knew he had the most difficult time resisting the allure of his favorite treat. It made me sick knowing that they knew the small things that would make him suffer.

Ah. That's right. I know this feeling.

No one spoke at first, but the looks were enough to get everyone's point across. Izaya was studying the wallpaper intently, trying to make himself invisible and sending hungry glances over at the plate of sushi, occasionally biting his lips in the most suggestive way possible. Kururi was looking at Mairu with a calm expression, watching as her sister glared daggers in Izaya's direction. Father silently ate his food, but the disappointment of my actions was evident on his features.

The tension in the air was choking me. And the feeling I couldn't stand was making my head hurt. I had to force myself to relax my muscles and breathe.

Hate. Loathing. Abhorrence. Antipathy. Disgust. So many words for this feeling. None of them strong enough.

It was only with meetings like these that I was familiar with it. Hate really isn't like me. Hate isn't what Psyche is supposed to feel. I was the only one smiling there, because what else was I supposed to do? That's what everyone wanted. That's what Izaya wanted. A smiling happy angel oblivious to the obvious tension in the room. I played that part like a professional actor.

I missed the days where my wings were white and pure. Where I never had to fake a smile. Before I started hating them. Not just my family, but everyone. Everyone who refused to realize that he was suffering, and slowly breaking apart.

4 years ago

The day had been eventful, to say the least.

I've never seen him like that before. So much turmoil and pain. The mad look he gave to Shizuo as he laughed. The despair. Everything was so unfamiliar.

What was happening to brother?

I felt my heart pounding in my ears as I watched them dart outside of the building, scared to follow but not wanting to stay in place as well. I knew something was wrong. Ever since this morning, I've been nervous. I clutched the headphones around my neck tightly, hoping that somehow they would calm my nerves.

Why didn't anyone see they way he silently screamed for help? Why didn't anyone see the hurt?

I was surprised. There was anger. An unfamiliar sting of madness that engulfed me. Everyone was so stupid and blind.

Biting my lip and pushing down the fear that had settled into my stomach, I rushed out the door behind my brother and the monster. I was surprised to find street signs already all over the school yard. I saw how gracefully Izaya attempted to dodge them as they were thrown, moving in the air in ways I had never seen. It was almost like a dance.

I was shocked even more when I caught a glimpse of his face.

He wasn't smiling. He wasn't bothering to hide the pain. Something inside of me twisted mercilessly at the sight.

I had never seen tears on my brothers face before that moment. I felt my jaw drop at the sight. It was beautiful. Crystals flew from his eyes as he twisted and turned, graceful and perfect. I was amazed by the feelings that took hold of my being. Shouldn't I be worried? He was crying!

But all I could feel was excitement. I knew I was the only one who noticed the tears. The blonde monster was blinded by rage and hate and embarrassment. Everyone else had fled the scene.

I felt a lump form in my throat. I was sickened then, and not just by the people who refused to see my brother's misery. No, I was disgusted with myself as well. How could I enjoy my brother's pain? How could I be so cruel? I felt horrible. I felt my eyes sting with tears threatening to fall at any moment. I was selfish. What kind of brother smiles at the image of his suffering twin?

The fight ended when the warning bell pierced the air, and both bodies froze in realization. They stared, both panting with wide eyes, speechless and shocked at the mess they had created.

All evidence of the tears were gone from his face, but the emptiness was still there. Not just that, but fondness and maybe even a hint of adoration. I knew about my brother's feelings, but I didn't know that they had become so strong. I should have guessed. I cursed my stupidity and gritted my teeth. Of course that man would be what would make my brother's eyes scream with sorrow.

Why did I want to see more?

School went by silently. No one really acknowledged Shizuo or Izaya throughout the day, opting to avoid them at all costs.

Shizuo was quiet. More so than normal. Izaya continued to be himself. Taunting those around him behind all sorts of different masks, but I could tell he wasn't completely there.

I continued to beat myself up over my feelings. I was so devastated to find myself glancing over at my brother's face throughout our classes, hoping to catch a glimpse of the pain he tried so hard to hide. It wasn't long before he started to catch my gazes. I made sure I looked more worried than hopeful.

Once the classes had ended, we made our way out the building and towards our home. The walk was silent. Izaya kept his mouth shut for once, and I was occupied with conflicting thoughts. Even while I gazed away, his stunning crying face was all I could think of. It made my face feel warm, and my stomach turned against my will.

I waited until I could calm these feelings before I chanced a glance at him somewhere along the way. I caught his eyes as they stared holes into mine, the burn in them rivaling that of the sun's light.

I had been shocked and filled with confusion many times that day, but that look was what scared me the most. It was overflowing with so much of what I knew he wanted to hide. Jealousy, bitterness, anger, envy, resentment, spite, and hate.

Hate. I never thought he would ever hate me...

I felt my heart clench and my mouth ran dry. I had to tear my gaze away. I felt myself trembling slightly and my eyes began to fill to the brim with tears.

I deserved it. The way I felt for him said as much. I deserved that look. I deserved to feel the hurt that I know he's been feeling for months.

That's where it had started. Where everything had begun to change.

It started small. He would just boss me around a little more than normal.

"Psyche, get me a drink."

"Buy me Ootoro."

"Idiot! You're making a mess!"

Taunts, jives, he did his best to hurt me. He wanted to see me suffer. He wanted me punished for what I had stolen from him. He never smiled at me during those days. Not once did he thank me for the favors. It was the only time where I felt truly hated by anyone.

I took all that in and gave him what he wanted. Everyone began to notice the change. Shizuo would snap at Izaya more and more everyday, taking notice of the fact that I was suffering and being treated as a slave. There fights escalated to unimaginable lengths because of this, and Izaya often came back injured both physically and mentally.

Tsugaru often offered to let me stay with them for a few days if Izaya bothered me so much. I always declined.

Our family wasn't much different. Mairu and Kururi would both reprimanded my brother for treating me so harshly. I remember dad and Izaya often getting into verbal wars with each other, their words often becoming physical fights that mom would have to break up. And she was the worst. Izaya loved her so much. She was the only other one, other than me, who showed any sort of care for Izaya. So when she began to defend me and turn her angry eyes at him, he only got worse.

It was only words at the beginning. But one day something inside of him just snapped and everything changed once again.

It was on a weekend, and our parents had taken our younger sisters to their martial art classes. We would be home alone for hours, but my innocent mind back then didn't think anything of it.

I smiled down at Daisy, a small bird I had found outside a few days ago with a broken wing. With the help of our friend Shinra, I was in the process of nursing her back to health as her wing healed. Setting some bird seeds down in front of her, I went to go work on some homework on my bed.

I didn't hear him come in. He was quiet, like a cat. It wasn't until I noticed a shadow fall over me that I realized I was not alone. I looked up at Izaya, my heart stopping as I noticed the cold look he was giving me. It was almost emotionless, but there was an anger slowly taking over those red orbs that made my blood run cold. I opened my mouth to greet him, but was met with a sharp, stinging sensation as he hit me with the back of his hand, making my head jerk uncomfortably to the side.

I didn't scream or make any sort of sound. I just closed my eyes, feeling the tears well up in pain and anguish. I didn't look at him, but felt his hands grasp at the collar of my shirt, jerking me forward so our faces were inches apart.

"I hate you." He growled. His breath hot on my cheek, making me squirm in discomfort. "I hate your face. I hate your clothes. I hate...why do you have to look like me!" He was yelling now. As his voice grew in volume, I could here it cracking and trembling against his lips.

His grip loosened before letting me fall. I thought it was over, deciding to glance up at him as he backed away. As his eyes met mine, I saw a flash of guilt. That guilt only helped fuel his anger and he quickly turned to break his gaze, his shoulders shaking in rage.

I wanted to say something, but didn't know what. He took a few steps towards the vanity. Looking down at the makeshift nest with the sleeping bird.

I heard him let out a tired sigh, or maybe it was a gasp. I felt my heart fall at the sound of a sob that soon followed. "Why are you so kind? So perfect?" His voice was quiet now. Almost a whisper. He gently picked up the bird, disturbing its sleep. "Why must you make everyone love you so much? Why?"

He was referring to Shizuo again. Everyone meant Shizuo, and he was a fool if he was trying to deny it. Izaya couldn't care less of whether people loved or hated him. That brute of a boy was the exception. He still didn't know that I knew what he felt for the blonde. He may never know. But that was the cause of all this. The man that knowingly refused to notice my brothers feelings.

Part of me still thought that Izaya was overeating, but I understood. He was so used to being in control. So used to not having to worry about what others thought. Yet here he found himself falling for someone that he knew he could never win the approval of.

Izaya wasn't used to such hopeless feelings, and it was driving him mad.

He turned to me, his eyes watery, but the tears refused to fall. He refused to let them. Instead, he allowed his face to contort, once again, into one of his cruel heartless masks.

The slow smile he gave stopped my breath in its tracks. That look was more dangerous than all the anger in the world.

"Psy-chan." His voice was mockingly sweet. "Do you love me?"

The question threw me off guard. My eyes widened in confusion, but I nodded. I wanted to please him. He knew this. He knew that I was desperate to do whatever I could to prove that I loved him more than anyone. He loved the fact that I was, in a way, his.

"Say it." His voice was cold and precise. The bird in his hand cocked its head, wondering why the nest had disappeared from underneath its feathers.

"I-I love you...Iza-nii." My voice was trembling. I was scared. This was the manipulative and heartless Izaya everyone knew. Everyone but me. He never showed this side of himself to me.

He grinned, his eyes closing which briefly hid the madness that was forcing his every word and action. "Good. That makes me happy, Psy-Chan~" The way he said my name sent more shivers of dread down my spine. What was he planning?

"Do you want to know what would make me happier?" With every word he drew closer, his feet silently dragging across the floor. He held up the bird so it was eye level with me. She was so small in his hand, fitting perfectly in his palm. My lungs were burning from lack of air as I had a hard time remembering to breathe. He didn't wait for me to answer.

"I want you to cry for me, Psyche."

Crunch.

The sound of bones breaking so easily underneath his fingers was what did it. Daisy didn't make a sound. She couldn't. It was too quick.

My mouth opened in protest, but I couldn't do anything but whimper. The tears fell of their own accord. I barely felt them. My eyes were locked onto the form of the lifeless bird held securely in his hands. His nails dug into the flesh of the bird, slowly staining with red as I began to bleed out.

The memories ran through my head relentlessly. That was when my wings had finally dulled into a colorless gray. That was when I felt myself breaking for the first time.

That was when I had first fallen in love with my brother.

It was a sick love. One that was both taboo and dangerous. But that didn't stop me from falling, and I stopped caring years ago.

It wasn't long after that before the crash happened and everything changed yet again. Before those eyes filled with hate were replaced with guilt. I was happy that things had changed for the better between us. He was so nice to me now. But he was still suffering. And I was still a hypocrite. A Sadist.

I loved how his heart ached for the blonde monster, but I would do anything to make it stop. His happiness is what I really wanted.

So I decided to love him. As much as I could. It would make him happy. And for now, there wasn't anyone else who could take on such a task. I had to love him because no one else would.

OTL I made Psy-chan so complicated and Yandere! But I enjoy Yandere!Psyche too much so...ah well!

Thanks in advance for reviews!