"We need to decide what to tell the others." Penny glanced up at Sheldon as he stood, following suit a moment later.

"You mean you do," she responded, toying with the sash on her robe. Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "I already told Leonard a perfectly convincing story," she explained. "I'm covered. You can figure out on your own what you wanna tell the guys. You don't have to drag me into whatever convoluted lie you cook up."

Sheldon sighed. "Be that as it may, it will hardly be the end of this. Supposing that I do fabricate a believable story, you and I will still be married. Where do we go from there? Do we tell Leonard and the others? Do we take this secret to the grave? Surely you realize, Penny, that I am not good at keeping secrets."

The blonde sat down on the edge of the bed and stared down at the floor. "You can't honestly be thinking about telling them, can you?" She stared up at the scientist. "They'll flip out over this. And this is really not something any of them need to know, is it?"

"Perhaps not," Sheldon replied after a moment. He glanced around the room. "Penny, did you bring your laptop?"

Penny frowned. "No, why?"

"Because," Sheldon answered, "It would be prudent for me to remain in your room until we are certain the others have left. If I were spotted leaving your room, it would destroy the credulity of the story you gave Leonard. If your laptop were here, I would be able to occupy myself by optimizing its functionality."

"Oh." Penny chewed her lip. "How long d'you think you should stay?"

"Half an hour should be sufficiently safe," the genius responded. He looked about the room. "There really isn't anything to do in here."

"Nope," Penny agreed with a shrug. Silence fell over the room as the two occupants looked one another, before Penny began laughing. Sheldon eyed her in confusion.

"What are you laughing at?"

"If anyone had ever said that one day I'd wake up as Mrs. Sheldon Cooper, I would have told them to lay off the drugs. But now, less than an hour after I find out that that actually happened, we're sitting here trying to come up with something to do."

"Correction," Sheldon interjected. "You are sitting. I, as you can plainly see, am standing."

Penny threw her hands in the air in disbelief. "Oh, for the love of— you know what? Never mind, Sheldon. I don't even know why I bother talking to you sometimes."

Sheldon huffed at her. "There's no reason to get testy just because I pointed out a simple fact, Penny."

"There was no need to point it out!" Penny retorted. "It was a freaking figure of speech!"

At that, Sheldon fell quiet for a moment before mumbling, "In that case, I extend a formal apology for my correction."

Penny's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"

Sheldon sighed. "You know that I am unaccustomed to apologizing, Penny. Please do not make this any more difficult."

Penny grinned. "Alright, fine. Apology accepted." She put a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Seriously though, you gotta admit, it's pretty weird, right? I mean, you and I trying to find a way to pass the time after getting married?"

The lanky physicist gave her a strange look and his eye twitched. "Are you trying to suggest something?"

Penny's mouth curled down in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You make continued remarks about our marital status and lack of activity when, if my understanding of conventions is correct, the most typical activity for the recently espoused is intercourse."

Penny's jaw dropped and she let out a tremendous guffaw. "You think I was propositioning you?" She buried her face in her hands as her laughter became a full-blown roar.

Sheldon shifted uncomfortably. "You weren't, I take it."

The blonde shook her head, willing her laughter to die down enough so she could speak. "Sweetie," she managed between gulps of air, "how could you possibly think that?"

Sheldon stared at Penny as her laughter tapered off, though the mirth remained in her eyes. Her response had been extremely off-putting, but he wasn't really sure why. It wasn't as though he'd been hoping to copulate with her, he he assured himself. But that didn't mean he didn't have a right to be offended by her reaction. He huffed and folded his arms. "You didn't seem so averse to the notion last night," he muttered under his breath, turning away from the girl who had so inexplicably wounded his pride.

"What?" Penny's humor had entirely subsided, and there was a certain dangerous undertone to her question that made Sheldon wonder if perhaps she had heard him after all.

"Nothing," he responded stiffly. If she hadn't heard him, there was certainly no chance that he would repeat the sentiment, knowing well enough that the woman would probably respond in anger.

"Fine, whatever." Penny's tone was just as stiff as his own, Sheldon noted. "Why don't you get out, okay?"

Sheldon turned back to face her, lifting an eyebrow. "It hasn't been half an hour yet," he began. "If I leave now, there's a risk of—"

"I'm gonna get in the shower," Penny interrupted, her voice laced with ice. Sheldon was almost certain now that she had heard his remark. "I really hope you're gone when I get out." She stood up, setting her hands defiantly on her hips, and shot him a look that, if he hadn't any knowledge of thermodynamics, Sheldon might have believed to have lowered the temperature of the room by several degrees. Then she stormed into the bathroom, leaving one very confused theoretical physicist standing in the middle of the room, staring after her.

I probably shouldn't save said that, he reflected before turning to the door. Experience told him that it was best to take a threat from Penny seriously, and so, looking about in vain one more time for his missing long-sleeved shirt, he strode across the room with appallingly bare arms and opened the door to leave—only to collide with none other than a very shocked Leonard Hofstadter.

"Sheldon!?"