Ichigo woke the next morning completely awake. He'd slept so much the day before that his body could no longer sleep, even though it was only seven in the morning. Slowly he sat up, stretching out all his stiff muscles. As soon as he was done his thoughts ventured back to the night before. His face lit up when he thought about what he'd told his dad. I can't believe I'm really accepting this. Until Renji came along and said something like that I'd never even thought about guys in that way. They'd always just been a daily part of life. Hell, I'm a guy! It'll forever be his fault. Frowning he said out loud, "It's always someone else's fault. Always. Anyway, I don't think anyone else is up yet. What should I do until then?" He glanced around the room and sighed. His stomach was growling. It'd been nearly sixteen hours since he'd last eaten. "I suppose I can make breakfast this morning after keeping everyone up so late last night." He threw the covers back and slid off the bed, shivering as his feet met the cold tile floor. After letting his feet adjust he threw on the clothes that had been hastily discarded yesterday and shuffled slowly towards the door, yawning. How in the world can I yawn after sleeping so much? He thought bitterly. As he was closing the door a familiar, breakfasty, smell, wafted through the hallway. Someone was already up and preparing for the day to come.

As he got closer to the kitchen he heard the timid voice of his younger twin sister Yuzu. Of course she'd be up. She took such good care of anyone else without thinking of herself once in awhile. As he reached the entrance, he muttered, "Good morning." The younger girl looked up at him and grinned. Ichigo noticed the small black rings that had formed under her eyes from just one sleepless night full of worrying and wonderment. How many nights did she stay up wondering when he just suddenly disappeared for long periods of time?

"Good morning nii-chan. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah but I wish I could say the same for you." Ichigo strutted over to her and ruffled her hair before taking the pan's handle from her. "You go lay down or something. I'll make breakfast this morning." She stared at him with blank eyes for a second before they started to fill with tears. Surprised, Ichigo nearly dropped the pan. "Y-Yuzu? What's wrong? I'm sorry! You can make breakfast if you'd like."

Then she started to giggle, a childish, innocent giggle. "No onii-san. It's not that. I'm just grateful."

"For what?"

"T-that you're okay." She looked up at him with teary eyes and a sad smile but he knew she was alright. Even though it didn't seem like it he knew.

"Then don't cry silly. Crying should be left for times when you're sad, and not when you're happy. You'll confuse people." Ichigo joked, wrapping his little sister in a one armed bear hug. "Now go lay down."

"Mm! Just don't burn anything!" She giggled and danced away, feeling lighter. Ichigo watched her go and shook his head. He was smart enough to make breakfast. Though he did end up surprising himself at how well things turned out. He usually ended up burning something or setting something on fire. Apparently, because of his happy mood, things had turned out perfect. It was unusual, but welcomed.

He called everyone to breakfast and for once their meal was peaceful. There were no vengeful ghosts looking for his help and there were no kicks to the face to inflict bodily pain. It was enjoyable. As they were finishing up Ichigo asked cheerfully, "Hey dad. Has Renji stopped by since last night?"

"Can't say he has. Though as he left last night he told me there was some business he had to finish up and that he'd be leaving this morning." Isshin replied, shoveling bowl after bowl of rice into his mouth. "Why?"

Ichigo felt his cheerful mood dampen slightly. He'd been so excited, too, and he never got excited. "Oh. It's nothing." Isshin seemed to understand for once.

"Don't worry about cleaning up. Go on now." He ordered, setting his bowl and chopsticks down. Ichigo fidgeted in in seat for a moment before he could take it no longer. He called thanks to his dad before dashing out the door. About twenty feet from the house he discarded his physical body, making sure to leave it where no one would find it. (Yes it was some place clean.) He'd get to Renji faster this way.

Ichigo took the path to Renji's house that, over the last year or so, had become oh too familiar. Ichigo got there just as Renji was locking his front door. "Renji!" He cried, feeling almost out of breath. "Please wait!" The redhead looked up at him.

"What is it, Ichigo? I have work to do." His voice was cold and almost monotone. He'd been hurt worse than Ichigo had initially thought. But that wasn't going to stop him.

"Well... About last night..." Ichigo said, becoming unusually bashful. "I wanted to... Um... Apologize I guess... For what I said." He stared at Renji with compassionate eyes and eyes that he knew screamed longing. But the redhead was just as dense as he was.

Renji snorted. "What's there to apologize for? You really can't like what you can't like and that's life. I ain't gonna force you into nothin' you don't want to do. I'd be scum if I did."

"But Renji!" Ichigo became suddenly forceful. His eyes narrowed as he continued. "That's just it. I realized last night that I can't live without you. I sound like a fucking girl but I don't give a damn right now. You're the only person in this world that I want. Even if Orihime has a great body and great personality I don't want her. Even if Rukia is slim and passionate I don't want her. All I want is you. You helped me realize this side of myself. Even though I don't like it, you made me realize it and accept it." His breathing had steadily grown faster until he felt like he couldn't breathe. And for some reason he felt his eyes tearing up. Why did this man do this to him, even though he did it without knowing? "Renji, I need you."

Renji was staring at him in shock. His face was a flurry of many emotions and Ichigo couldn't read them. What if his confession had been for naught? His fear seemed confirmed when the man replied bluntly, "Dude, it's a bit late. I've been rejected by you three times and each time we'd gone further the last. You don't think that hurts? It hurts worse than those bloody cuts you gave me when we first fought for real. How am I supposed to know that you're not going to do it again?"

The rejection stung. Now Ichigo understood how the man had felt. But there was one thing he knew he could do that could at least partially confirm his love and infatuation with the shinigami. In one swift movement his sword had been cast aside and he was lunging at Renji. He caught the boy off guard around the neck and Ichigo's lips came in contact with Renji's. It was obvious that his reaction wasn't what Renji had been anticipating but it was also clear he didn't seem to mind all that much. In fact, after about ten painfully slow seconds, a pair of steel like arms were wrapped around his waist. Ichigo felt himself relax as he pulled himself closer and deeper into the kiss.

Their tongues met in feverish war as Ichigo's lips parted to allow the other to venture inside. Renji pulled them closer together and Ichigo relished in the feeling. He wanted more. So much more. And for once the redhead wasn't as dense as he seemed to be. "Ichigo, I look weird kissing thin air." He muttered when they parted. "Maybe we should you know... Go inside." The chapped lips began to kiss along the sensitive part of Ichigo's neck and he couldn't help but to arch his neck a little. He certainly knew how to do things.

"You look weird without kissing thin air." Was his curt, but gentle, reply. "But we might as well go inside." They untangled themselves and Renji unlocked the door before grabbing Ichigo by the wrist and tugging him gently towards the bedroom. Before they'd slipped inside Ichigo managed to nab his sword. He couldn't be too careless. Zangetsu would give him hell later if he forgot the most important thing for a shinigami to have, substitute or not.

They reached the bedroom shortly and Renji barely had time to shut the door behind them before Ichigo found himself clambering over the older man again, wrapping his arms around his neck so tightly he thought he was suffocating. Ichigo began his feverish attack of kisses again, pressing his lips so fiercely against Renji's he thought they were going to bleed. But he didn't care. This feeling was just too much for him to ignore. A passion burned inside of him, one even hotter than the one he got for saving people. It was like a little flame that just got hotter and hotter as their breathing grew faster and faster.

"Whoa dude slow up!" Renji muttered, grabbing his new boyfriend tightly around the waist. "I'm not going any where any time soon."

Ichigo's chocolate brown eyes bore into Renji's accusingly. "Not five seconds ago you were trying to leave me and this life behind. You'd even locked your door and told me I'd said no too many times. It ain't like you to like, moron."

Renji shrugged. Leaning in he breathed gently against Ichigo's neck. "So even a guy like me lies. Shoot me."

"Would love to if I had a gun."

"Ha ha very funny." He muttered, taking Ichigo's firms waist in his hands. In seconds Ichigo found himself lying on his back with Renji lying on top of him. His red hair, that had somehow come undone, fanned out around Ichigos body and he couldn't help but shiver at the silky feeling of it. He knew that saying it was cliché but he couldn't help it. Such was life. Renji was now tugging at his shirt, attempting to pull it over him without him moving. After a few insistent seconds he finally collapsed. "Will you sit up for a sec? I gotta get this damn shirt off ya somehow." Reluctantly he sat up on his elbows just enough to have his shirt pulled up and over his head but not completely off his body. This seemed to irritate Renji. "If you ain't gonna let me take it off of you I'm gonna fuck you like you are and this time I ain't gonna stop."

Ichigo grinned his familiar devilish grin as he replied sharply, "I dare you to." He was happy with the reaction. Before he himself could react, though, he was forced back onto the bed and his arms were being restrained above his head, almost exactly like the second time Ichigo had been tricked into it. It was slightly different this time, though. For one, Ichigo wanted this more badly than he'd ever wanted anything before in his life. Renji's lips crashed heavily down on his, so hard it hurt.

Slowly the heaviness of the kiss backed off until it was slow; gentle. It was kind of like an unsure first kiss between a little boy and his crush. Or between two teens who were just experimenting for the thrill of it. The calloused hand that wasn't holding him down, Ichigo noticed, caressed his body, focusing mostly on his abdomen and thighs. When the rough of Renji's skin met the smooth of his own, the orange headed boy couldn't help but shiver. It was an odd sensation. A few brief seconds, when there was no contact but that of hands against wrists, his mind wandered to Orihime and Rukia. Was their skin smooth and silky or was it rough and worn down? The thoughts didn't last for more than a few brief milliseconds. His mind was much too preoccupied to really give a damn.

The warmth of the older mans touch warmed Ichigo. He felt his body temperature rising every minute their skin was in contact. It all seemed so dream like though. Surreal or something of the sort. His train of thought was broken when Renji's gruff voice sliced through it. "Ichigo, why are yer eyes closed? You ain't scared are ya? Ya can fight off beasts one hundred times your size yet you can't open your eyes during sex?"

Ichigo's eyes popped open to find Renji only an inch from his face. He'd not ever realized that his lips were not being crushed any more and that his world had gone black because of his closed eyes. It was crazy. He wasn't scared, or worried. In fact he was ecstatic. This was the best thing that had happened in awhile. Damn what's wrong with me? He thought, frowning slightly. I ain't a girl and this isn't exactly the first consensual time I've done this with him.

"Shut up. I ain't scared, ya asshole." He muttered, reaching up to grab the shorter hairs at the nape of Renji's neck. He yanked down once sharply and received a satisfying yelp of acknowledgment. "Now just focus on what yer doin' rather than focusing on the little details." With that same hand Ichigo pulled down, more gently this time, on his neck to kiss the pale lips that awaited him. It wouldn't take too long to get used to this. It was actually very pleasant. He didn't even have to think of Renji as a girl to enjoy it. Maybe he really was gay. He'd accepted it already but he had still been trying to talk himself out of it in his dreams.

Renji's hand had let go of Ichigo's wrists and were twitching their way down his body, stopping at the button to Ichigo's jeans. It was obvious to both that he hesitated. Through their locked lips Ichigo told him, "Go ahead. I'm not going to stop you this time. Since when did you start hesitating in anything you did?" There was a brief pause, but no response, before there was a slight tug at his waist as the button came undone. The air stilled around them and the only sound was that of their breathing and the sound of his zipper as it was pulled ever so carefully down.

"Are you one hundred percent sure about this, Ichigo? Once it's done you can't ever go back. This is one mistake you can make but can never undo."

"If this is a mistake than I'll accept the punishment."

That was all the confirmation that Renji required. He reached down and took Ichigo in his hand. There was a loud gasp of surprise at the sudden contact but no sign of rejecting. This only made Renji take another risk. Slowly he began to slide his hand along the slightly hard shaft but when there was no protest he began to move it faster.

Ichigo moaned beneath him, arching into the calloused touch. God this feels good! What the hell was I so scared about?! The friction grew between them and he could hardly take it. It was so hot. Everything around him blurred as the sweat poured into his eyes. The heat continued to grow until Ichigo could hardly stand it. It was probably too early, as it was their first time, but he couldn't take it. "R-Renji. Renji. Renji!"

"What?"

"Do it!" He moaned, arching high.

"Do what?" He asked, taunting him slightly.

Ichigo couldn't respond as Renji's lips touched his, much too hard to speak through. This continued for a minute before Ichigo tore away from him and yelled, "Get inside me God dammit!" The man on top of him smirked.

"Are you sure? I haven't done anything to prepare you yet."

"Ugh." Ichigo groaned. "Do what you have to do I don't care!"

"Alright. Fine." The pressure on his cock was released and he could open his eyes just enough to see Renji reach over to a side table and pull open a little drawer. From inside it he pulled out a small, plastic package that Ichigo could only assume was a condom and a tube of a liquidy substance. Ichigo watched as Renji ripped open the package and took out the clear piece of whatever condoms are made of. His eyes followed the path of Renji's hand as he moved to undo his own jeans. Ichigo stopped him though.

"Let me do it." It was an order, he realized. It wasn't a pleading question it was an order.

"Suit yourself."

Ichigo sat up and pushed Renji back off hi a little. He then proceeded to reach out and take Renji's jeans in his hand. This time he did hesitate. Could he really go through with it? Yes God dammit! Stop second-guessing yourself! With resolve he did it. He quickly undid the button and pulled the zipper down. When he was done with that he took the waistband of the jeans in both hands and yanked hard to reveal the throbbing present that awaited him.

"Surprised?"

Dumbfounded, Ichigo nodded, his jaw hanging. He was huge.

"Good." Showing his toothy grin, Renji placed the condom over his waiting member, throwing the packaging to the side. Ichigo watched as he opened the bottle and poured some of the liquid onto his hands before lathering his fingers in it. "Yer gonna have to take those off you know. I can't do you with your jeans on, as funny as it would be."

Surprised, Ichigo pulled himself out of his jeans and through them to the side. He was now completely naked in front of this man. And surprisingly he wasn't embarrassed. "You've done this before right?"

"Nope. Turn around."

Ichigo obliged even though every part of him screamed not to. He somehow knew it was going to hurt and that there was no way around it. There was a pressure on his backside as Renji poked around to find the right 'hole'. It was awkward and Ichigo was blushing. Finally there was a constant pressure in a certain part of him. Every muscle in him tensed. He could feel Renji's finger inside of him, pushing further and further in. He didn't scream though. He bit his bottom lip tightly.

"That's one, Ichigo. And here's another." Another finger slid inside him, pressing just as far as the first one had. They began to move in and out in a rhythmical way. Slow out, fast in, slow out, fast in. The speed grew steadily faster. Finally he let out an ear piercing scream. It felt like he was being ripped in half. But Renji didn't stop. The pace increased and soon Ichigo was swimming in his own desires. His moans penetrated the walls almost as well as Renji was penetrating him. And it ended all too soon. Ichigo whined quietly as the thickness of Renji's fingers left him. "Don't worry your pretty little face. I ain't done yet." Renji took the bottle of lube again and one more placed some in his palm. The amount was a lot more than before though. Inside of lathering his fingers, Ichigo noticed, he began to lather his own, getting it as slick as possible.

Soon Ichigo felt the same pressure again except it was in one spot this time. "Let's do this." Renji pushed inside him slowly, wincing at the tightness of the hole. Ichigo wreathed underneath him with his eyes closed, trying to block out the pain. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would but that was probably because he'd been in a lot more physical pain than this before. His body was trying to reject Renji and wouldn't allow him to go further. But he kept trying and Ichigo knew it. Soon, Ichigo knew, he'd planted himself as far as he could go. Slowly he began to pull out, almost to the tip before pushing himself in again. Ichigo let out an ear-piercing scream. He gripped the sheets tightly as his body trembled. "Sorry Ichigo. Just... Don't think about it."

Easier said than done, asshole! Ichigo screamed to himself, biting his lip harder, only to feel blood drizzle into his mouth. Renji continued to pull in and out of him. After about ten painful minutes his body began to relax and conform to Renji. Soon all either of them heard was the sound of skin against skin and the embarrassing grunts and moans they made as their bodies became one. But neither of them cared.

There was a brief, soundless, moment before both of them came. As he finished Ichigo collapsed onto the bed, his breathing staggered. Renji came inside him before collapsing on top of him. They were both exhausted.

"Was it worth the wait, Renji?" Ichigo asked, pushing the man off of him so he roll onto his stomach.

"Yeah. It was worth it."

"Good. Anyway, even though I really don't want to, I have to go. I've still got school tomorrow and all."

"You can't stay longer?"

"Only if I can borrow your shower." Ichigo grinner devilishly, an unusual glint in his eyes. Lucky for him Renji got the hint.

"You can use whatever you want, strawberry boy."