Chapter 2: I Miss You
Being the girl behind the red door isn't as glamorous as it may seem. Sure, the door is attached to a giant mansion, but no one ever really knows what goes on behind the expensive facade. Well...maybe with the exception of two people.
"Hey Cheery," I hear his smooth voice shock me out of my thoughts. I was just packing up the last of my things when Lucas walked in to help move the rest of my stuff out of his room.
"Hey Broody." I give him a sort of half smile. "Sorry about the ambush at the airport earlier. Peyton and I are..." What are we really? I trail off but offer an unsure response. "Fighting, I guess."
"Yeah, she told me the night you left." I dropped everything in my hands, including a box of letters for a certain someone. 'She told him? Told him what exactly?' I thought to myself.
"Sh...she did? She told you?" There was no way to hide the nervous stutter in my voice. 'She wouldn't tell him. What is there to tell really? Nothing happened.' At least, that's what I tried to convince myself of.
My thoughts were cut short by Lucas' reply. "Well, she didn't use the word fighting per say." Lucas sat on the bed while I tried to calm the rapid thud below my chest.
"She just told me that you guys left things in an awkward place. Peyton has been going through a lot this year, and she said she felt like she was losing you as a friend. The night before you left, Peyton told me that you two had a rather intense conversation, and thought you might take it the wrong way."
I stopped moving completely at that last part. "Oh, was all I had to say before I began to pick up the papers I left scattered on the floor.
"Here let me help."
"NO!" I reacted quickly as Luke leaned down. I would die before I let him read these letters. "It's just, they're private."
"Oh okay." He said as I scooped the last of them back into the box.
"I think that's it. Ready to move?" I tried to change the subject before he realized something else was going on.
"Um, where exactly are you moving?" He asked, when I realized his close proximity. I turned around with luggage in tow to be met face-to-face with Lucas.
"Naley's apartment. Former apartment since they're divorced, or separated, or whatever is happening with them now." I let out a nervous giggle still wondering why he was so close. "Lucas?"
"Yes, Pretty Girl?" He asked as he moved a lock of hair behind my ear.
"You're not going to kiss me again are you?" He smirked and released a small laugh. That smile may have been enough to convince me.
"No, but a hug will do." He opened his arms while I relaxed into his embrace. Sometimes, the girl behind the red door isn't so lonely. "Brooke, we don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to." He broke my blissful bubble.
"No, we should. Talk, I mean." I say as I pulled back from the hug. "I did miss you broody. You always know what to say. I felt like I was missing part of my brain while I was away."
"I missed you too Brooke Davis."
"Luke?"
"Yeah." He scrunched his eye brows together, giving me his full attention.
"It can't be like last time. You have to tell me if you're out."
"Brooke, I could never-"
"I know that you think that Lucas but I need total honesty this time. Can you do that?" I asked.
"Of course pretty girl." He smiled as he grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together.
"Okay. Good."
"Good" Lucas says but I pull my hand back which probably caused the confused look on his face.
I had one more question for him. "Do you still have feelings for Peyton?" He didn't answer for a moment which initially confirmed my suspicions.
"Brooke, look at me." I moved my eyes up to him. "I want to be with you. Not Peyton okay. I want you."
"Okay." I nod, slightly more reassured.
"Well cheery? Whadya say? Think we can give us another try?" He bats those blue eyes and releases a boyish grin. How could I say no to that?
"How about we hang out, talk, maybe take me to the bond fire tomorrow? We can see where things go from there." I give him a flirty smirk before moving past him. After all, head cheerleaders do not fly to these events solo.
"It's a date." Lucas says as he grabs the last of the boxes and moved them out to the car.
There was just one loose end left, in the form of a tall thin blond with the most captivatingly green eyes. 'Peyton.'
All I could think about on the drive to the apartment was that night and how I don't want to hurt her. But I'm not like her right? I can't be. If my track record is no indication, I prefer men.
But that kiss. Everything always comes back around to the most passionate and electrifying kiss that I have ever felt in my life.
At least I thought it was, until she told Lucas it didn't matter. How could it not matter? Maybe it was just stress like Luke said. She kissed me and it didn't mean anything. Right? I mean, she's with Jake now.
What was I thinking? Of course she's in love with Jake. Jake left and I was there. Peyton loves Jake not me. That thought made my stomach sink. I should be relieved; happy even.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when Lucas grabbed my hand. "We're here." 'Lucas' I say to myself 'Focus on Lucas.' I take a breath and exit the vehicle so we can get this done. I could use a nap, and a massage if I'm being honest.
I was unlocking the door to the apartment when I heard movement on the other side. 'Funny, I thought Nathan moved out already.' I shrugged and moved inside.
"Alright hot shot, you better be fully clothed or else your brother is about to get a full frontal." I shouted to announce my presence, but to my surprise, the raven haired Scott was not the one to enter the room.
"Tutor girl? I didn't even know you were back." I say slightly confused as to why I was not informed.
"Hey, Brooke!" She says anxiously. "What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing." I inquire just as another voice rings through the room.
"Haley, who are you talking to?" Just as quickly as the figure entered, my ability to form words had fled.
"Ah, Brooke Davis. Long time no see."
"Uh yeah," is all I can utter.
"Chris Keller likes this." The arrogant musician says with a cocky smirk and flirty eyes. 'Really tutor girl?' I say to myself, but the disappointment is evident on my face.
"Brooke," I hear a manly voice from outside but it's not Lucas. I open the door to check it out. "Thanks, this was kinda heavy." He says while dragging, my new couch.
"Nathan? When did you get here?" I ask as I walk towards the staircase where the basketball player is struggling. This was beginning to look like the start of a really bad horror movie.
"Lucas texted me saying he needed help moving the furniture into the apartment." I stood there trying to take all of this information in. "Hey Davis? You helping or what?"
Lucas runs up behind him and lifts the other end.
"I got it," and the two moved through the door when I remembered who was on the other side. 'Shit'
I heard a loud crash which shocked my legs in motion.
"Hey hey! Watch the hands. I need those."
"You're lucky you're still breathing." Nathan says while holding Chris Keller against the wall just to the side of the door.
"Hey!" I yell and move between the two.
"Cozy!" Chris smirks.
"If you know what's good for you, you'll stop talking." Lucas jumps in.
"I really don't have time for this guys. It's my first day back, so can we all just suck it up for my sake. We are here to move me in." I say rather loudly and with much more rasp than usual. "Anything else you can take outside. Got it?" I say as I look between Nathan and Chris Keller.
"Wait. What are you even doing here?" Lucas asks, shifting his focus towards Haley. Everyone wonders the same thing as our eyes shift between the two performers.
"I was just-" but she was cut off by the doorbell.
"God! Who else is here? Satin?" I ask before moving to open the door.
'Nope, pretty damn close though.' I thought to myself. "Peyton." The whole room chimed in.
"Brooke." She says less than enthusiastic about seeing me twice in one day.
"Well this should be fun." I whisper as I brush passed her and down to get the rest of my things.
I heard footsteps behind me, but had no patience for this conversation. Not right now.
Earlier that day...
"Haley you ready to go? Hales?" He walked back into her hotel room to see her crying.
"They won't forgive me. I don't even think I can forgive myself." Haley whispers through her tears.
"Look babe, Chris Keller doesn't really do the crying chick thing." As she continues to cry, he lays a hand on her shoulder. "Look..."
.
She shrugs it off before pulling herself together. "No, you're right. Let's just go."
"See, that's the can do Haley I know." Chris jumps to action and grabs the two remaining guitars.
As Hayley slumps to the tour bus, Chris utters a few more words of encouragement. "Look at the bright side. The performance is only two nights, we'll be out of tree hill by the time school starts on Monday." He pats Haley on the back. "Then it'll just be you and good ole Chris."
Haley rolls her eye and hops on the carrier heading to North Carolina. "Yeah. Maybe." Haley heads straight to the private room in back and pulls out her phone.
'I know you're mad, but I could really use some support today. Besides I need a place to crash while I'm in town.' She is surprised to get a text back so quickly.
'I don't forgive you and I am not on your side, but you are still my friend.'
Says the replier.
'Thanks Peyton. You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that.'
'Nathan moved out of the apartment so you can probably hold up there until you leave town.'
'Would you mind helping me move the tour stuff? I can introduce you to this band, they're pretty cool."
Peyton certainly couldn't pass up that opportunity. 'Yeah, I guess.' She sends a short response to hide her excitement.
'See you soon!'
'Haley, have you talked to Nathan?'
'No, but I will.'
'You hurt him pretty bad. Just try and give him some space while you're here okay?'
'Okay. See you around 3.' Haley leaves off, deciding to end the conversation there.
Back at the apartment...
"Brooke. Hey Brooke, slow down." Lucas says jogging up to me. I only stop when we reach my car. What's going on with you and Peyton?"
"Nothing." I dismissed his question.
"Talk to me Brooke. You said you would give us another try, well I need for you to talk to me in order for this to work." He made a good point I guess.
"What did she say?" I asked.
"Who? Peyton?" Lucas asked confused.
"Yes, the night that we left, what did she say to you exactly?"
"Why-"
"Lucas, please?" I insisted and Lucas complied.
"She said she did something that she couldn't take back, and was afraid you would think it was more than it really was. She told you something that she didn't mean because she was sad and afraid of being alone."
"So that's it." I said, thinking out loud more than anything.
"What's it?" Lucas asked
"Nothing, its nothing." I look up at him. "You're right. I guess I just misunderstood what happened. We're not fighting. Not anymore."
"So you both are okay now? You're still friends?" He leans forward and looks deep into my eyes for the answer.
I look away to hide the sudden tears that formed in my eyes. 'Why am I crying dammit?' "Yep, it's all good, everything's great." I say, hoping a smile will mask the shake in my voice.
"Brooke-" I give him a quick kiss on the lips to shut him up and hopefully distract him for a bit.
"Lucas, I'm good. Thank you!"
"For what?" He asked with a giddy smile on his face. 'Boys. A little kiss and they're head over heels.'
"Just, for being here." He smiled and we walked back toward the apartment with the last of the small items in tow.
The boys continued to unload and place all of the furniture from a truck I had rented. As they remained civil, I can't say it was the same for the girls in the apartment. Haley and Peyton were in the kitchen fixing dinner while I arranged some of the smaller and miscellaneous items around the apartment.
After about thirty minutes of silence and several icy stares, Haley was beginning to catch on to the tension in the room.
She offered some words to break the silence. "Dinner should be ready around six, so we have about an hour to just…talk or sit or stare each other down in silence."
"Hmmhmm" Peyton giggled slightly at that last comment, to which I rolled my eyes.
Haley looks back and forth between Peyton and me before disturbing the peace once more. "Are you two fighting?"
"Yes"
"No"
We answered simultaneously. "Ohh-Kay." Haley quips to our two opposing statements.
"No, we're not." Peyton insists.
"Yes. Yes, we are." I say a little more forceful than the blonde.
"Well someone's in denial." Haley inquires.
"You're one to talk," I switch my focus towards Haley. "You just stroll back into town like nothing happened, and you just assume you can stay wherever you want when you want. Honestly Haley, even I think this is low."
"Like you haven't done worse." Peyton jumps in defense of Haley.
"So, you're taking tutor wife's side. She cheated on Nathan Peyt. Our friend since childhood. You can't be okay with this." My voice is slightly more screechy as my anger increases.
"I'm not okay with this, but you're in no place to judge."
"And whys that Peyton?" I say, folding my arms across my chest and taking a seat at the couch.
"All of the guys you've slept around with kinda stops you from handing out slut cards."
"I'm the slut?" I yell completely blown away by Peyton's comment.
"What about you? You were sneaking around with my boyfriend behind my back. Might I add, I never cheated on Lucas." The anger rushing through me causes me to stand in defense.
"That we know of." Peyton insinuated with a raised eyebrow and hands on her hips.
Tears flooded my eyes quickly while the room was left silent. 'I can't believe that's what she thinks of me.' I take a breath to steady my voice before I speak.
"I would never hurt Lucas the way you both hurt me. I loved him." I had to take another breath before I could finish. "AND I TRUSTED YOU!" That was the last thing I could get out before the flood gates opened.
"You don't love him, you're leading him on. You have been since you left for the summer." Peyton added unwilling to back down from the fight whether she was right or not.
"I did love him. And I still don't want to see him hurt." I'm pleading for her to understand.
Peyton's eyes are cast downward "So you do still love him then." There is a bitterness in her voice.
"I will always love Lucas," a tear slides down Peyton's face at that part. "But declarations of love tend to throw people's emotions off balance." Peyton's eyes move up to mine quickly before another voice jumps into the conversation.
"Wait. Who's declaration of love?" Haley asks, watching us like a soap on telemundo. I think Peyton and I both tuned the world out and completely forgot she was in the room.
Peyton runs to the bathroom, and I regret bringing it up now. "Wait that's a good thing right? Lucas still loves you." Haley asks, not really sure what just happened between me and Peyton.
I sit and run my hands through my hair. "Welcome back to Tree Hill tutor girl." I giggle through hysterical tears before exiting the room myself.
"Glad to be back." Haley whispers solemnly after I head down the hallway.
I moved to sit outside the door to the bathroom. "Peyton? Peyt? We don't have to talk about it now, just tell me you're okay." I know she's mad that I brought it up, but after the slut remark she had it coming. That's what I'm telling myself now at least.
I decide to wait patiently for her to come out. As I'm sitting I remember our first big fight as friends.
Freshmen year, a transfer student from LA, joined our English class. Sparkling smile, nice body, tall, tan. He reminds me a lot of Lucas now that I think about it.
His name was Julian Baker, and he sure had his way with the ladies. During the first week of his arrival he had dates with half of the girls at school. Until he approached me.
"Hey, beautiful." He said, leaning against the lockers as I was switching out my books.
"I was wondering when you'd come around. Too bad I'm not interested now." I said dismissively
"And whys that?" He crosses his arms but holds his lady killing grin.
"I'm Brooke Davis. I'm no one's seconds...or fiftieth in your case." I lift an eyebrow at him
"Oh I see. Someone's jealous." He laughs and it melts my heart.
"Not jealous, just no longer interested."
"Oh no. You're interested, maybe in denial, but definitely interested."
"Prove it." I turn to him with confidence only to have it shattered by a soft kiss. He pulls back and I am at a loss for words. "Uh..."
"Amazing." He finishes for me and grabs my hips. "I'll be seeing you soon," he whispers in my ear before heading off to class. Julian was my first crush. Until I caught onto his little game.
We were dating for 3 months after he broke it off with all of the other girls, or so I thought. He said he wanted to keep it a secret so it wouldn't ruin his "street cred" or whatever.
The week after spring break, Peyton walked in on us. I didn't know then but he had been with her since the beginning of the semester. Not long after the fall out, I ran after her when school let out, and realized there was something different about her.
"Peyton, when did you change your hair?"
She stopped and turned. "The day you broke my heart." She was angry for a long time after the Julian debacle.
I was thrown out of my thoughts when I heard the boys come in followed by laughter. 'At least someone is getting along today.' The cling of glasses tells me they are about to set the table for dinner. "Peyton. It's been thirty minutes. Please, come out. Haley made dinner for us." At the click of the door I move to stand but it doesn't open.
I turn the nob and hesitate to move forward. "P. Sawyer, if you plan on killing me, I just want you to know I will haunt your ass for eternity." A quiet giggle assured me that it's safe to pass.
"Hey." I say quietly after I shut the door. Peyton's sitting up on the counter kicking her legs like a little kid.
"I don't want to fight." She says while her gaze moves towards the floor.
"Neither do I. But I think it's kind of inevitable until we talk about what happened between us." I take a few steps in her direction.
"It was a mistake Brooke." I felt a sharp pain in my chest. If I had tears left I'd probably be a mess.
"So I've heard." I say trying not to sound too disappointed.
"You talked to Lucas?"
"Yep. Look, obviously you don't care so let's just forget about it." I say trying to be passive.
She jumps off the counter and looks me in the eye "Of course I care, I'm just not-"
"In love with me?" Her gaze drifts away again.
"No. I'm not."
"So then you kiss all your friends like that?" I ask pointedly.
"Brooke, stop." Peyton says as she heads toward the door.
"Stop what? Peyton, you forget that I know when you're not being honest with me." I say making her stop in her tracks.
"You don't know everything about me Brooke."
"So tell me."
"I CANT." Peyton shouts and throws her arms above her head. I give her a moment to calm down before I speak.
"Well try then." I say a little agitated.
"There's nothing to tell Brooke." Peyton's demeanor is entirely stand-offish.
"Nothing at all?" I ask with obvious disbelief.
"Nope I don't feel that way about you."
"You're not in love with me?" I ask simply.
"Nope."
"At all?"
"Nope, nothing"
"Fine"
"Fine"
Her eyes were cast down during our back and forth and she failed to notice how close I'd gotten until she felt my breath on her skin. "So there's nothing there?"
She lets out a gasp and looks into my eyes. "No" she lets out a shaky breath but I think it was more of a request than a denial.
She moves her eyes away so I cup her cheek. "Peyton look at me" our faces are centimeters apart and I can feel her breath. I pull back slightly to look at her when I feel her move to graze her lips against mine. "Brooke-" she's cut off when we feel a pounding on the door and spring back.
"Peyton? Jake's here." I hear Nathan say from the other side of the door. I move away and Peyton goes to the mirror to assess any flaws in her appearance. That is when I noticed something different.
"You cut your hair." I add but she doesn't say anything for a minute. "It's straight."
"Jake likes it like this" Peyton mutters on her way out of the bathroom.
She is already gone when I release my delayed response. "I liked the curls." I shrugged it off before heading out behind her.
Dinner was awkward and quiet as to be expected. The guys seemed to have come to some sort of understanding, and Jake gets along with everyone of course.
As for Peyton and I, there were very few words exchanged until the end of the night.
When Lucas, Chris, and Nate were leaving, Luke pulled me outside to kiss me goodnight. A sight that was not missed by the green eyed blonde.
Now it was just Haley, Peyton, and Jake, who I assumed was taking Peyton home.
Haley and Jake had a battle of the bands discussion going when I decided to excuse myself. "I'm gonna go help with the dishes." Not that they heard me. I headed to the sink where Peyton was loading the dishwasher.
"Let it go Brooke." Peyton doesn't even look away from her task.
"I just-"
"Things are different now. I have Jake. And Jenny."
"But-"
"Let. It. Go." Her voice was hushed but her anger was prominent.
"Fine. But did you even once consider how I felt about all of this?" She continues to wash the dishes and ignores me. I see a single tear fall down her face. "Like I said, you can't pretend with me." I leave it at that and walk back to the living room. 'She can't keep this up forever.'