Welcome back, everyone! Special thanks go to my beta readers, AleeN and Laryna6, for all of their valuable suggestions that went into the making of this chapter. I also have to thank Rulani, Ivi, and np for the wonderful illustrations and comics they have drawn for the story so far, and I can't wait to see what kind of artwork comes up next! And of course, I'm grateful to all of you for reading this story, especially those of you who gave me helpful feedback. Rock on!
Legal disclaimer (to keep my imaginary lawyer happy): I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion. It belongs to Hideaki Anno and Gainax/Khara.
The Happy Red Planet - Chapter Three: Sufficient Direction?
by Literary Eagle
Shinji Ikari's life sure was complicated.
His roommates were a child prodigy from overseas and a purple-haired lady with a pet penguin, and yet that was actually the most ordinary part of his situation! His half-sister Rei was the mother of the Lilin, and his best friend Kaworu was somehow the first Angel and the last Angel combined into one fabulous package. Oh yeah, and apparently they'd all met before throughout multiple past lives, but Kaworu was the only one who remembered. And now they were trying to take down a fiendish global conspiracy all by themselves. Pretty much the only thing missing from Shinji's life was an evil twin, and then the soap opera would be complete.
Yep, it was all pretty complicated.
So why, oh why, did the universe think it was a good idea to drop yet another shocking revelation into Shinji's lap?
Shinji had entered Unit-01 to converse with his mother, just like Asuka was currently talking with her mother in the hastily repaired Unit-02. It wasn't the first time Shinji had established contact with his Evangelion's resident soul (the mishaps with the Twelfth and Fourteenth Angels had seen to that), but even still this was no preparation for what Mother had just told him.
Mother hadn't been absorbed into Unit-01 by accident.
She had planned the whole thing. She had vanished into the Eva on purpose.
Sweetie, please understand that I'm doing this for the greater good.
"I know, Mother," Shinji said morosely. The sound of Mother's voice echoing in the entry plug should have been comforting, but at the moment he couldn't help feeling a little betrayed.
I knew that the only way to stop Seele was to take them down from the inside. Really inside.
"I know, Mother."
All of humanity is in danger, and this was the best I could do.
"I know, Mother."
And behind closed doors, your father likes to cuddle a big teddy bear that he calls Mr. Snugglepoo.
"I know, Mother."
No, he doesn't! I knew it; you're not really listening to me!
Shinji gulped nervously, an action that he soon regretted because he was immersed in LCL. Ew, yuck. "S-sorry, Mother! It's just… a lot to take in, you know?"
An invisible pair of warm arms wrapped around him. It's going to be okay, sweetie.
Shinji sure hoped so.
"See you later, Mama!" said Asuka, as she climbed out of Unit-02's entry plug. Gently wringing LCL out of her hair while she exited the Eva cage, she set off in search of Kaworu and the First Child. She really wanted to stay and catch up with Mama some more, but this was important. It was thanks to Kaworu that she had discovered Unit-02's true identity, and she hated owing people, so she had to repay the favor.
Granted, she had spoken up in Kaworu's defense when Misato had tried to shoot him. But considering that the guy had an A.T. Field that would have protected him anyway, it didn't seem like a worthy exchange for being reunited with her beloved Mama. No, Kaworu had done her a very big favor, so she needed to accomplish a very big repayment…
By knocking some sense into him.
Arriving at the empty storeroom that Kaworu and the First were using as an improvised training area, she was greeted by the sight of the two humanoid Angels jumping up and down on orange trampolines. Kaworu was laughing and doing somersaults every time he sprang into the air, while the First Child had a small smile on her face as she did similar gymnastics. Kaworu's shirt had become partially untucked from the activity, while the First had at least shown enough sense to change into her plugsuit.
"Hey, Special K!" Asuka called out to the bouncing Kaworu, "I thought that you were helping the First with practicing her Angel powers, not playing around!"
"This is practicing," Kaworu replied cheerfully, pointing down towards his trampoline.
Moving in for a closer look, Asuka realized that the two trampolines were in fact A.T. Fields. Huh. Who knew that the light of the soul could make such a convincing boing sound? "Isn't this kind of pointless, though? Both of you can fly, so when would you ever need to do this?"
"It has not yet been a full 48 hours since I consumed those waffles," the First explained, "So there is a risk that my powers may still be somewhat unpredictable. Kaworu thought it would be prudent to test other methods of propulsion, in case my ability to fly were to suddenly cease functioning."
"Makes sense," Asuka conceded, nodding, "If we really have been screwing up throughout multiple past lives, then we've got to do what it takes to get it right this time. Which reminds me, Special K, we need to talk."
"What is it, Soryu?" said Kaworu, his A.T. Field disappearing as he made a graceful landing in front of her.
Placing her hands onto Kaworu's shoulders, Asuka gently but firmly pushed him until his back was against the wall. "I wanted to give you some advice," she said, grasping the untucked portion of his shirt and correcting the minor wardrobe malfunction while she spoke, "You said that you've died countless times trying to make Stupid Shinji happy, right? And every time you die, it completely breaks him and everything goes to hell, right? So if you truly want to make your friend happy, then here's a simple solution: don't die, you moron!" As her voice rose into a shout for that last part, she grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him close to her face, inadvertently causing the garment to become untucked again. With a growl, she let go of the collar and rearranged his clothing once more, her hands beginning to tremble as she added, "If this really is the closest we've ever come to getting things right, then you'd better not screw up! Because if you die again… if you make Stupid Shinji fall into despair again… then so help me, in the next life I-I'm going track you down and… and…"
Unable to continue voicing that train of thought due to the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat, Asuka opted for a practical demonstration by slamming her fist against the wall, mere inches from Kaworu's ear. Damn it, this speech had gone so much better when she'd rehearsed it in her head. Why was she suddenly so upset over the thought of Shinji being sad? Since when did she care what that annoying idiot was feeling?
Several locks of Asuka's hair came loose and slid in front of her face, and she felt like batting them away in irritation. But somehow their bothersome presence made her think of dumb Shinji even more, and she couldn't move.
It was Kaworu who finally gathered the wayward tresses with his gentle fingers, tucking the strands behind her ear so that they were no longer in sight, but could still be felt. Like how Shinji would try to stay out of her way when she was in a bad mood, but his presence could still be detected in the delicious meals he left on the table for her, and the way he kept their apartment so clean. For a second she imagined that there was a tiny Shinji tucked behind her ear and tried to laugh, but with that damn lump in her throat, it came out sounding more like a hiccup.
"Soryu?" said Kaworu, "Are you all right?"
"It's Asuka, okay?" she replied, after taking a few deep breaths so she could speak properly once more, "You reunited me with Mama and saved me from that coma, so you get to call me 'Asuka', and I get to call you 'Special K'! That's how these things work, dummy. Because I've decided that we're friends now!" Her fist banged the wall again, even closer to Kaworu's head than the first time.
"Friends. Yes, I can… clearly see that," Kaworu said slowly, looking over at Asuka's fist before making eye contact with her again, "I'm so sorry, Asuka. The mistakes I made in my first lifetime caused Shinji such pain that I thought it was my responsibility to fix everything on my own. But there's no shame in asking for assistance. I know that now. Instead of spending so many lifetimes trying to make Shinji happy by myself, I should have asked you and Rei for help much sooner."
Asuka managed a smile. "Damn right," she said, "You can't have victory without the great Asuka Langley Soryu!"
"Indeed," said Kaworu, smiling back, "And rest assured that I will do my best to survive this time. Shinji has already stated that he does not want me to die again, and I do not wish to cause him any more pain. Because he is my dearest friend, and I love him, as you do."
"And as I do," said the First, her A.T. Field trampoline disappearing as she landed beside them.
"D-don't be absurd," Asuka muttered, grimacing as she felt her face grow warmer. Seeing Kaworu's knowing grin, she said, "Wipe that smile off your face, Special K! I'm just feeling hot because… because the air conditioner must be broken again. Nothing in this damn headquarters ever works properly!"
Kaworu didn't look very convinced, but he stopped smirking anyway. "I'm sorry, it wasn't my business to say something like that. But at least allow me to say this: In nearly every lifetime, part of the reason why Shinji completely breaks after my death is because he feels as if he has no one else left. So you must survive as well, Asuka. Seele's Mass Production Evas are dangerous. Do not underestimate them. Please, I need you and Rei to be there for Shinji, so even if something should happen to me, at least he will not feel alone this time."
The First Child nodded. "Yes, we must all endeavor to survive the trials ahead," she said, extending her hand to them, "For Shinji."
"For Shinji," Kaworu repeated, placing his hand on top of the First's. He tucked his other hand, the one with the wrist scars, into his pocket.
Asuka couldn't help but glance at her own scarred wrist, although of course the skin was hidden by her plugsuit. "All right," she said, as she reached over and added her hand on top of Kaworu's and the First's. "Fine. Now let's knock it off with the sappy talk and just survive this thing."
Don't look so sad, sweetie, Shinji's mother said to him, After all, you have lots of wonderful people in your life.
Right on cue, Asuka, Rei, and Kaworu dashed onto the umbilical bridge in front of Unit-01. They all looked up at Shinji's Eva and waved.
My, what an attractive trio. Are they all your girlfriends, Shinji?
Certain that his cheeks were turning red, Shinji buried his face in his hands and uttered the traditional motto of many embarrassed teenagers, "Motherrrrrrrr…"
What? I wouldn't mind having lots of grandchildren someday! That girl on the right has such a nice, big smile. Imagine her lavender-gray hair and your blue eyes on a baby!
"Uh, Mother? Kaworu is a boy." Well, Kaworu's soul had once been Adam, the mother of the Angels… so technically he was a female's soul placed into a male body? But Kaworu seemed perfectly happy to call himself a boy, and Shinji wanted to respect that. Of course, if Kaworu decided to start using different terminology, Shinji would respect that as well.
So you have two girlfriends and a boyfriend? What an impressive harem! You make me so proud, Shinji!
"Oh, thanks… er, I mean, NO! Mother, these people are my friends. Please don't talk about them like they're a harem, or breeding stock," said Shinji, shaking his head in pure disbelief at where this conversation had gone. He was sure that by now his face must look redder than Asuka's plugsuit. Her sexy, skintight plugsuit… augh, stupid hormones! "Look, I'm too young to think about stuff like m-m-marriage and b-babies, okay?" And even if he were to marry one of them, having babies the old-fashioned way would be highly unlikely: Asuka always complained during a certain time of the month that she never wanted to get pregnant, and Rei said that she was unable to conceive because clones were sterile, and Kaworu's current body didn't have a uterus. Not that any of those things mattered to Shinji. It didn't bother him that he might never have children, especially because the thought of being a parent made him nervous. What if he turned out to be terrible at it, like Father? But he knew better than to say that to Mother.
Too bad he forgot that they were mentally connected when he was inside the Eva.
Sweetie, don't be so negative! I'm sure you would make a great father. Asuka could always adopt children, and as for Rei and Kaworu, I can smell their Seed of Life powers from here… yes, Rei is the mother of humanity, so I could consider all the residents of Earth as my grandchildren. And Kaworu is going to create life on Mars? Yesssssss, two whole planets of loyal grandchildren to rend the flesh and spill the blood of anyone who dares to oppose me…
"Um, Mother, you're doing that bloodlust thing again."
Oops! Sorry, sweetie. Being trapped in the body of a barely-restrained ferocious beast can mess with my mind sometimes. Tee hee!
Shinji shuddered. Somehow the "tee hee" had been even scarier than the bloodthirsty talk.
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to push you too fast, Shinji. I just want you to be happy, all right? It would be wonderful if someday you could have a big family to surround you with warmth, and love, and bloodshed… sweet, sweet bloodshed…
"Mother, you're doing that thing again."
Whoopsie! Sorry.
"Anyway, they're already like a family to me, Mother," Shinji explained, praying she would understand, "They are all very good friends of mine, and each of them is special to me in their own way. For now, that's enough. I'm too young to think about anything else."
Yes, you're right. You're only 14 years old, so you still have time.
"Thanks, Mother."
So instead, you can make them your harem when you turn 15!
At that point, Shinji knew there was only one thing left to do.
What the… Shinji, stop banging your head against the wall of the entry plug!
"Come on, Stupid Shinji! Get your butt out here!" Asuka called, as she and her companions waved up at Unit-01. "We've got planning to do!" Why did that guy have to be such a slowpoke at a time like this?
At last, Shinji's entry plug emerged from the purple Eva, and the boy stumbled out.
Speaking of slowpokes, Misato finally arrived at the Eva cage just then, carrying Lazarus the kitten. The little feline meowed a greeting and leapt from Misato's arms, landing on Shinji's shoulder and nuzzling his cheek.
"Shinji, why do you have a bump here?" Misato asked, prodding carefully at the top of his head.
"Ow!" Shinji hissed, leaning slightly back, "Let's just say that you shouldn't mention the idea of grandchildren to my mother. Ever."
Asuka could feel her face getting warmer again, but she quickly turned away and cleared her throat. "What were you even doing in there? Didn't you do enough catching up when you were stuck inside your Eva for a month after the Fourteenth Angel?" Okay, maybe she was a little bit jealous that Shinji had been able to reunite with his mama sooner. But mostly she was just struck with the realization that they had a very similar mama situation, and she wasn't sure how to feel about having something like that in common with Shinji, of all people.
This time it was Shinji's turn to blush as he murmured, "I wanted to ask Mother for help with protecting Kaworu. We probably have just a few hours left before Seele attacks, right?"
Apparently, awkwardness was being passed among the Eva pilots like a baton in a relay race, because that seemed to be Kaworu's cue to shift uncomfortably as he said, "Oh. I'm sorry, I should have mentioned this sooner, but… Shinji, you will not be piloting Unit-01."
Everyone turned to stare at Kaworu, including Unit-01 herself.
"This Evangelion contains both the Fruit of Knowledge and the Fruit of Life," Kaworu elaborated, stepping back with uncharacteristic shyness as the Eva seemed to wink at him, "That means Seele will seek to use her as part of their ceremony to initiate Third Impact."
"I see," said the First Child, "So if we were to deploy Unit-01, we would be playing right into Seele's hands."
Kaworu nodded. "That is why the safest course of action is to keep her hidden inside Nerv headquarters for as long as possible."
"But Kaworu, how can I protect you without my Eva?" said Shinji, wringing his hands, "If I don't pilot, I'm… useless."
"No, you're not!" said Asuka. She smacked Shinji upside the head, although she was careful to avoid the bump there as she did so. "Don't you ever, EVER say stuff like that about yourself!" Saying that he was worthless unless he piloted an Eva… it was so infuriating, because it reminded her too much of the way she had been. The way she had been when she had nearly killed herself.
For a moment she imagined what would have happened if it had been Shinji sitting in that damaged bathtub instead of her, slicing at his wrist with pieces of a broken mirror… and damn it she could feel that lump in her throat returning. With a shaky breath that she tried to disguise as a sound of frustration, she began fixing Shinji's hair where her strike had mussed it up.
"She has a point, Shinji," said Kaworu, pulling a comb out of his pocket and helping Asuka to smooth Shinji's hair, "You are most definitely not useless. There are other ways you can help me, and your entire world as well."
Lazarus must have been inspired by Asuka and Kaworu's shared attempt at grooming Shinji, for he hopped onto the First's shoulder and began gently pawing at her hair. Kaworu chuckled at the sight, before looking over at Misato and saying, "Before we do anything, though, we need to ensure that the Magi will be protected from any of Seele's hacking attempts, or all our plans will be for naught."
"Right," said Misato, "I know just the person for that."
Dr. Ritsuko Akagi sat alone in her small, dark cell. Alone, that is, except for the all the past misdeeds that slithered through her mind, mocking her relentlessly. She was supposed to be a genius, a rising star in the world of science, so how had she managed to sink so low? By falling in love with none other than that horrible Gendo Ikari and helping him with his ruthless schemes, of course. She was as foolish as her mother had been… no, even worse, because she clearly hadn't learned a thing from her mother's terrible fate. While Ritsuko at least hadn't wound up with her innards splattered all over the place, she'd had every bit of her outside exposed to those depraved men of Seele. And it was Gendo himself who had selected her to be stripped and paraded in front of those old perverts, all to protect his precious Rei.
But even Rei wasn't all that precious to him, really. She was just a pawn. How pathetic Ritsuko was, to be jealous of a pawn. In fact, she had been so jealous that it hadn't been enough to seek revenge against Gendo by sabotaging the dummy system. No, she had insisted on bringing Shinji along in order to ruin Rei's friendship with the boy forever, showing him the secret of the dummy system and then gruesomely destroying it right before his eyes so that he'd be terrified of the girl.
So now she wasn't just a fool, she was someone who had bullied a kid. Great. A fine addition to the list of Stupid Things Ritsuko Has Done. Oh well, at least while she was locked up in here, there wasn't anybody to stare at stupid, stupid Ritsuko anymore.
…Or maybe not, because at that moment the door to her cell opened. Yay.
"Let me guess. They need help with the Magi's self-defense system," said Ritsuko, without bothering to look up. Not hearing a denial, she added with a grumble, "He expects the woman he abandoned to jump when he calls. Arrogant bastard."
"The Commander can't hurt you anymore." That was Misato's voice. "Rei zapped him with a Taser and locked him in a supply closet. We'll be handing him over to the authorities for his role in all this Impact conspiracy crap. Well, once we've done something about Seele's influence on the government, at any rate."
Finally looking at the doorway, Ritsuko saw her old friend standing there, along with Shinji, Asuka, Rei, and a boy with the same piercing red eyes as Rei. The Final Messenger, then. Wasn't he supposed to be dead by now? Or if he was still alive, then shouldn't everyone else on the planet be dead by now?
Strangely, the thing that surprised Ritsuko even more was that Shinji was smiling and whispering something to Rei, so her attempt at tearing them apart had apparently been unsuccessful. She was actually rather… relieved by that. It was one less weight upon her conscience, at any rate. She also noticed that Rei was smiling back at Shinji, which probably meant that the locks Gendo had placed in the girl's mind had failed. It would certainly explain why Rei had apparently turned against Gendo and used a Taser on him. Damn, wish I had been there to see that, Ritsuko thought, I hope someone at least recorded it and posted it on Tumblr. I would reblog the hell out of it… I'd put it in my queue so I could randomly have my day brightened by the glorious sight of Gendo getting Tased!
The other details that Ritsuko spotted made it seem to her as if the children had formed an odd guessing game about which of them had recently been in their Evas. Asuka was in full piloting attire and still had a bit of LCL clinging to her tresses. Rei, on the other hand, was wearing her plugsuit but not her interface headset, and didn't appear to have a single drop of liquid on her. The two boys were both in their school uniforms, but Shinji's hair was wet with LCL, indicating that he had probably changed out of his plugsuit very recently. There was also a silly zigzag in his hair, as if two people had tried to comb it at the same time.
The explanation for all that probably wasn't very interesting, but Ritsuko's tormented mind was getting pretty desperate for a distraction. "What's going on?" she said.
"Um, s-sorry to bother you, Ritsuko," Shinji stammered, "But we need your help to defeat Seele. Oh, and I wanted to give you this." Stepping hesitantly into her cell, he reached into his pocket and pulled out some money, which he held out to her.
She just stared at the offering in bewilderment. It was highly unlikely the boy was trying to bribe her with such a small amount of cash, so what the hell was he doing?
"We had to borrow some supplies from your storerooms, to take care of Lazarus," Shinji explained, "I'm sorry we didn't ask you for permission first. Things were difficult because we had to keep Kaworu's survival a secret, and… and… I'm sorry, Ritsuko." He bowed in apology, and set the money down on her cot. As he rose and glanced nervously at her, she couldn't help but notice his eyes. They were blue like his father's, but with none of the coldness she was so accustomed to seeing. Even after her cruel stunt with the dummy system, Shinji was apologizing to her, and paying her back for something he had taken? If it had been Gendo, he would have just taken it without any consideration for her.
"Wait… who's Lazarus?" she asked.
"Meow!"
Ritsuko glanced over at Rei and saw that the girl was holding a little kitten in her arms. The creature was so tiny, and his white fur blended with Rei's plugsuit so perfectly, that Ritsuko hadn't noticed his presence before.
"He was starving, so we borrowed some kitten food from your storerooms. A few cat toys, too," said Shinji, "Again, I'm sorry that we didn't ask first."
No, Shinji was definitely not like his father. Somebody who was so kind to a kitten couldn't be a bad person. And after the terrible things Ritsuko had done, helping this nice kid to stop Seele was the least she could do. Besides, the thought of getting revenge on those disgusting old men was rather tempting. "You can take your money back, Shinji," she said, "I'll help you. But on one condition."
"What's that?"
"I want to hold Lazarus for a few minutes!" she cooed, waving her hand to get the kitten's attention.
Without any further prompting, Lazarus leapt from Rei's arms and scampered over to Ritsuko, obviously sensing the impending cuddles.
"Ooh, aren't you a smart kitty?" Ritsuko gushed, picking up the adorable white furball and petting him, "Yes, such a smart kitty! And cute, too! Yes, you're such a cutesy wutesy, fluffy wuffy, pretty witty kitty…"
"I think I'm going to barfy warfy," said Asuka.
"Although my facial expression has not changed, I assure you that I am equally nauseated," Rei replied in a robotic tone.
But then the corners of Rei's mouth twitched upwards in an aborted attempt at hiding a smile, and Ritsuko was so shocked that she had to stop snuggling the kitten for a moment. Did Rei just make a joke? Not only that, but a joke poking fun at herself?
Misato burst out laughing, and moments later the Final Messenger also laughed and wrapped his arms around Rei in a hug. "Come on, Shinji!" the Angel called out, and Shinji blushingly walked over to Rei and hugged her from the other side.
"Th-that was great, Rei!" Shinji stammered shyly, as his smile grew and grew, "I'm happy for you. Really happy."
Asuka rolled her eyes, but she did not voice any complaints about the Rei sandwich, and instead began to look oddly contemplative. Asuka's pensive expression did not last long, though, for the Final Messenger suddenly pulled her into the group hug, eliciting a lot of blushing and sputtering from both her and Shinji.
The whole thing was so bizarre that Ritsuko found herself laughing louder than she ever had in a long time. Sure, why not? Apparently the world had gone crazy, and now it was okay for Angels and stray kittens to be hanging around Nerv headquarters, and Rei was cracking jokes, and Asuka wasn't even angry about Rei being the center of attention. Hey, maybe the world needed to turn this crazy in order for Ritsuko to find redemption.
As long as the crazy new world still included kittens, Ritsuko was okay with this.
"So… why are we in the cafeteria, staring at a toaster?" said Soryu.
Rei wasn't sure why Kaworu had led them here either, but unlike Soryu, she recognized the look in Kaworu's eyes as his gaze remained fixed on the toaster. It was similar to the way he had entered the LCL Plant by simply staring at Heaven's Door, disabling the lock with the power of his mind. Was he trying to use his Angelic abilities on this little kitchen appliance? But why?
She received her answer moments later, as the toaster suddenly began to jump up and down like an excited child.
"Mommy!" the toaster exclaimed, hopping off the table and rubbing against Kaworu's leg affectionately, "Hello, Mommy!"
The entire Nerv headquarters trembled for a moment as Unit-01's voice joyously shouted, TELL THAT TOASTER TO CALL ME "GRANDMA"!
When everyone's ears had stopped ringing, Kaworu picked up the toaster and hugged it. "Oh good, it worked!" he said, "Now for the others!" His eyes swept across the entire area, and soon all the appliances were moving like living creatures. Considering that the cafeteria had to be equipped to feed Nerv's sizable staff, it was quite a herd. Eggbeaters and waffle irons and microwaves skipped around Kaworu in a circle, chanting "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!", while larger devices like refrigerators, dishwashers, and vending machines shuffled about in a calmer manner but called out "Mommy!" just as eagerly.
TELL THEM ALL TO CALL ME "GRANDMA"!
When everyone's ears had stopped ringing (again), Dr. Akagi experimentally poked at a blender. It giggled and skittered away as if it were ticklish.
"Did… did you really bring them to life?" said Major Katsuragi, wide-eyed.
"Not exactly. They do not have souls," Kaworu replied, "I was simply trying a variation of my ability to control technology. They will return to normal if I withdraw the power that I have infused them with."
"It's amazing, Kaworu!" said Shinji, as Lazarus and the toaster playfully chased each other, "But why are you doing this?"
"Seele will attempt to take over Nerv headquarters by hacking the Magi. But of course, they will be no match for Dr. Akagi's expertise," said Kaworu, smiling as Dr. Akagi beamed proudly at that statement, "This means Seele's next step will be to use deadly force. In order to keep bloodshed to a minimum, I recommend telling the Nerv staff to evacuate. These appliances can distract the invading soldiers instead."
"Yeah! You can count on us, Mommy!" said a rice cooker, raising its unplugged cord to imitate a salute.
Rei was impressed by this whimsical use of Kaworu's abilities, but unsettled as well. She could sense a strange aura of power radiating from Kaworu, and although it had lessened slightly every time he had brought a machine to "life", seconds later the odd power returned to its previous level. "Kaworu, may I speak to you for a moment?"
Kaworu nodded and led Rei to a quiet corner of the cafeteria that didn't contain any bouncing kitchen gadgets. "Did you need something, Rei?"
"Yes. The truth," Rei said firmly, "Although I do believe that you are sincere in your wish to safeguard the Lilin who work here, I can also detect there is more to it than that. Your compulsion to fill this world with Angelic life is getting stronger, isn't it? You animated those appliances in an effort to fool your instincts into believing that you had created Angelic offspring! But… it is not enough."
Kaworu's shoulders slumped as he bowed his head. The stooped posture combined with his gray hair made him look paradoxically like a hundred-year-old child in that moment. But considering that he had the memories of numerous past lives, perhaps it was more like several hundred years, if not more. "I try to suppress it, but something within me cries out to be a mother again. Is it that obvious?" he whispered tiredly, looking up at her.
"I do not think it is noticeable yet for those who lack Angelic powers," said Rei, glancing towards Shinji and the others who were laughing as Lazarus continued to frolic with the toaster, "Kaworu, I appreciate that you want to help us, but this is too dangerous. You must find a way to leave for Mars immediately, and fill that planet with Angelic children. You will be able to see us again once your instincts have been properly satisfied."
"That won't be possible if Seele kills you all!" said Kaworu, his eyes darkening with the tortured shadows of previous failed lifetimes. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, he added in a calmer tone, "I'm sorry, Rei. You are right, of course. I do not want to risk losing control of myself and initiating a Third Impact. Still, it is frustrating to know that we are so close to the completion of the TABRIS Project, but have run out of time. It would have given the Lilin the ultimate weapon to protect themselves. If Seele were to harm any of you in my absence, I… I do not know if I could forgive myself."
A tear slid down his face, and Rei's heart ached for him. What kind of past tragedies were being relived in his mind right now?
But the teardrop transformed into a dragonfly, because (say it with me, folks), everything Kaworu did had to be strange.
Hey, wait a minute.
"Kaworu, this is a dragonfly," Rei said in awe, holding out her hand so the slender insect could crawl onto her fingers. The little creature's diaphanous wings glimmered so prettily in the light that it took Rei a full minute to notice that the power surrounding Kaworu had diminished once more… and unlike when he had brought the appliances to life, it did not rise back up again. "Kaworu!"
"Rei?" the Angel responded, blinking in confusion and tilting his head.
"This is a dragonfly," she said again, as the insect kissed her hand and then took flight, "One of Lilith's animals. See, he even kissed me as if acknowledging me as his mother. How did you do that?"
"I… I am not certain," Kaworu confessed, stroking his chin thoughtfully, "Well, I was created by placing Adam's soul into a Lilin body, so perhaps under certain conditions I can produce small Lilith-based creatures? I wonder…" He grabbed a pepper shaker off a nearby table and took a careful sniff. "Achoo!"
In a burst of iridescent feathers, Kaworu sneezed out several hummingbirds.
"Ewwww, what are you two doing over there? It looks like the grossest magic trick ever!" Soryu called from the other side of the room, as the colorful birds nuzzled Rei before flying away.
"Sorry!" Kaworu called back sheepishly. Turning back to Rei, he whispered excitedly, "Incredible! I can feel that my Angelic instinct is being pacified. This technique should allow me to control myself long enough to complete the TABRIS Project!"
"I am glad," she replied with a smile, "Until then, please be careful and keep that pepper shaker with you at all times."
"I will," said Kaworu, taking another sniff of pepper, "Achoo!"
This time a sea urchin came flying out, landing on the floor with a startled squeak. The animal waved its multiple spikes at Rei in greeting, then shook itself and shambled off in search of water.
Rei looked at the departing creature's sharp spines. "Was… was that painful?"
"Very," said Kaworu, wincing as he rubbed his sore nose.
"So… why are we out here?" said Ritsuko, as Kaworu led them through the ruins of Tokyo-3.
Shinji thought it was a good question, even though he trusted Kaworu and was sure there had to be a valid reason for this impromptu tour of the scorched wreckage that had once been a grand metropolis. Shinji's apartment in the old part of town had survived the blast from Unit-00's self-destruction, but so many other people's homes had been destroyed, and seeing the damage up close again was disheartening. The knowledge that the explosion had killed Rei before certainly didn't help, either. However, Rei was now alive and well again, walking alongside them. And Lazarus, who had also been miraculously brought back from the dead, was cradled in Shinji's arms and purring contentedly. It made him feel as if there was still hope. Yes, Shinji was certain that whatever Kaworu had in mind, it couldn't be a bad thing.
The Angel slowly began to rise into the air, spinning in a slow circle as he gazed down upon the remains of the city.
As if in answer to a call that only they could hear, countless toasters came crawling out of the rubble, shaking dust off themselves in a manner similar to wet puppies shaking off water.
"You have served your Lilin families well. You should be proud," Kaworu addressed the crowd of devices, "But even though your families have moved away, there is still work to be done. Invaders will be here soon. Please wait for them down in the GeoFront, and do what you can to keep them distracted."
"Okay, Mommy!" the toasters said. They spread out in a formation that briefly resembled a large metallic flower opening its petals, before disappearing down the various elevator shafts leading to the GeoFront and Nerv Headquarters.
TELL THEM TO CALL ME "GRANDMA"!, Unit-01's voice bellowed from somewhere deep underground, TELL THEM TO PIERCE THE EYES AND CRUSH THE BONES OF ANYONE WHO DARES TO OPPOSE ME!
"Mother, you're doing that thing again!"
SORRY, SWEETIE!
As Kaworu floated back down to the ground, a sunbeam chose that very moment to break through the clouds and shine on him like a spotlight.
Wow, Shinji thought, Kaworu is so amazing. Absolutely everything he does looks cool!
"Achoo!" Kaworu sneezed out a tomato plant, which promptly splattered against a crumbling wall and left a big red mess. "Oops. Uh, ketchup, anyone?" The sun's spotlight promptly disappeared, and if Kaworu actually had been standing on a stage, this probably would have been the moment a hook would have dragged him off it.
Okay, maybe not absolutely everything he does looks cool.
"That's what we came up here for?" said Asuka, "More toasters?"
"Well, there is one other thing," said Kaworu. He led them on another walk for several minutes, until they arrived at the lake that had been formed by the sacrifice of Unit-00.
Shinji recognized the spot immediately. "This is the place where Kaworu and I first met! Well, in this lifetime, at any rate," he told the others, before his eyes widened and he exclaimed, "What the…?!" The oddly-shaped piece of debris that Kaworu had been sitting on during their first meeting had somehow been partially raised out of the water, and was now quite obviously a statue with feathered wings and a hauntingly Eva-like body. The peculiar sculpture's pose was a forward slump or crouch, with its majestic wings stretching skyward. Simply lifting the statue out of the water wasn't enough to explain its startling appearance, though. Shinji was certain that even the parts of the statue that had been visible before had become more intricately detailed. "What's with this sculpture? Why is it so much fancier than before?"
"Because I have been repairing her, although the task is not quite finished yet. With your help, I should have enough time to complete the restoration process," said Kaworu, "This goddess statue, a relic from the White Moon, is a representation of Adam."
Misato frowned doubtfully at the unusual art piece. "This looks different from the giant I saw on… on that day." The day of Second Impact.
"Perhaps Adam had shapeshifting abilities?" Kaworu suggested, "Or maybe this is simply what she looked like before the scientists…" performed experiments that left her disfigured, is what Kaworu looked like he was about to say, but gazing right at Dr. Katsuragi's daughter he seemed to think better of it and instead blurted out, "Ah… what I mean to say is… maybe this is what she looked like before she had 15 children."
Misato narrowed her eyes at him, but opted to move on to another question. "Okay, well if this thing is a relic from the White Moon, then what's it doing here in Japan?"
"When Gendo Ikari left Antarctica shortly before Second Impact, he took his research along with him," Kaworu replied, "This relic was a part of that research."
"Really?" said Misato, "Commander Ikari never struck me as such an art lover that he would go through the trouble of bringing a busted sculpture all the way out here."
Not just busted, but busty as well, Shinji noted as he blushingly realized that the statue had a very… um, curvaceous chest. Kaworu's mom has got it goin' on. Oh no, don't think things like that! Hey wait, Kaworu has Adam's soul. That means Kaworu's soul used to be in the body of a sexy alien goddess! Not that there's anything wrong with his current body… in fact, it's really nice… Augh, just stop thinking about this already! Cursing his hormones, Shinji raised his eyes to look at the sculpture's head instead, only to find that there was no head at all, only a jagged neck stump. Something about the sight left Shinji so unsettled that he almost missed the rest of Kaworu's explanation.
"Shinji's father was using the statue as a beacon to disguise Lilith's signal as Adam's, in an attempt to lure Angels to Tokyo-3 more easily," Kaworu was saying, "After all, the sooner the Angels are completely eliminated, the sooner he can reach his goal. But the statue actually has another very special use that he knows nothing about."
Asuka leaned in closer. "What special use is that?"
"Well…" said Kaworu, his voice dropping to a secretive whisper.
Everyone leaned in closer.
"Um… I have no idea," Kaworu finished, with one hand rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.
"No idea?!" everyone else exclaimed.
By this point, Kaworu was blushing red enough to rival the tomatoes that he had sneezed out earlier. "All I know for now is that it has something to do with the TABRIS Project. As I complete repairs on the sculpture, Shinji and Lazarus will be helping the other Kaworus, my past lives, with finishing the rest of the Project."
"I see," said Misato, "So while you guys are doing that, the appliances will keep the invading soldiers busy, and Asuka will engage Seele's Mass Production Evangelions with Unit-02."
Kaworu nodded, before turning to Rei and adding, "Rei, if you could use your A.T. Field to defend Unit-02's umbilical cable, I would be most grateful."
"But Kaworu, I am supposed to protect you until you can leave for Mars!" Rei reminded him.
"Seele still thinks that I'm dead, so I will be fine," said Kaworu, "It is crucial that you and Asuka keep the MP Evas occupied, so that the TABRIS Project can be completed before Seele figures out that they have been deceived."
Ritsuko had a slight frown as she appeared to be mulling over the weirder parts of the conversation, but finally shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know what this talk of past lives and a TABRIS Project is all about, but if it saves the world and lets me have revenge on those old perverts of Seele, it's fine by me," she said, "Misato and I will be with the Nerv employees who chose to stay behind, watching over the battle from a hidden location."
"Actually," said Misato, "I'd prefer to accompany Shinji, if that's okay with everyone." She crossed her arms and looked warily at Kaworu, as if anticipating a rebuttal.
Shinji sighed. So Misato still didn't fully trust his friend.
However, Kaworu simply gave her another nod. "As you wish, Major Katsuragi. I invite you to visit TABRIS Project headquarters to see what we're all about, and to see with your own eyes that we mean Shinji no harm. Also, considering the suffering that you endured due to Seele's conspiracies, you deserve a chance to take part in the TABRIS Project as well."
Seeing that Misato appeared satisfied with that answer, Shinji sighed again, but this time it was from relief. He was thankful that an argument hadn't broken out. And despite his desire to protect Kaworu, he knew that Misato had lost both her father and Kaji because of Seele, so perhaps this would help her to find some of the closure that she needed.
Kaworu had mentioned that the TABRIS Project was about some kind of weapon to thwart Seele once and for all.
What kind of weapon could it be? Whatever it was, it had to be something very special. Shinji was so un-special that he didn't think he really deserved to be a part of this mysterious Project, but for Kaworu's sake, and the sake of all his friends, he would try his best.
A steady stream of cars and trucks evacuated Nerv headquarters, entering the car trains that would lift the vehicles back to the surface. With so many of Nerv's employees focused on leaving as quickly as possible, it was fairly easy for Vice Commander Fuyutsuki to walk past the hubbub largely unnoticed.
Before long, he arrived at the prisoner transport vehicle that was being used to hold Commander Ikari. The van was not moving, and both the driver and the guard seated in the front appeared to be fast asleep. Fuyutsuki ignored them and proceeded to the back of the van, where the doors abruptly unlocked themselves and swung open in greeting.
"You're late," Commander Ikari's voice called from the inside.
"These old bones don't move like they used to," said Fuyutsuki, as he entered the van. The doors slammed shut behind him.
The Commander was huddled underneath a gray blanket. Two armed guards were sitting across from him, although they appeared to be asleep just as their coworkers at the front of the vehicle had been.
"Are you all right, Ikari?" said Fuyutsuki, lifting up the blanket to look at his colleague. His eyes widened at what he saw. "Oh, so you're not all right."
"You knew this would be necessary," said the Commander, using a glove to cover the pulsating Adam embryo on his hand. A pair of broken handcuffs tumbled to the floor as he stood up and gave the blanket to Fuyutsuki. "Here, hide under this and pretend to be me for as long as you can."
Rather than complying with the instruction right away, Fuyutsuki opted to drape the blanket over one arm so he could still look at the Commander. "What are you going to do now?"
The Commander's expression darkened. "The Seventeenth Angel must die in order for the plan to move forward. But Shinji failed to eliminate him, and Rei betrayed me. I will have to deal with that Angel myself."
"Do you really think Shinji would forgive you for killing his friend?" Fuyutsuki asked.
"Forgive me? In time, Shinji will thank me for it," said the Commander.
Fuyutsuki shook his head. "Do you realize how delusional you sound?" he said, "No wait, of course you don't. Ikari, this has gone too far. I can't even remember why we started doing all this in the first place!"
"It will bring Yui back," the Commander replied.
"I'll do whatever you say!" said Fuyutsuki. He settled into the spot where the Commander had been seated before, using the blanket to conceal himself and the discarded handcuffs. There was the sound of footsteps as the Commander walked away, then the van's doors opening and closing once more. As soon as the locks on the doors clicked back into place, he heard the guards stir and resume their conversation as if nothing strange had happened. The driver must have awoken as well, because the vehicle began to move forward.
Closing his eyes, Fuyutsuki tried to envision how beautiful Yui would look once he saw her again. And how would Shinji react upon being reunited with her? Could it really be that Shinji would thank the Commander when all of this was over?
All he knew for certain was that before they reached that point, Shinji Ikari's life would surely become more complicated.
TO BE CONTINUED
Next chapter: The secret of the TABRIS Project is revealed, but Seele is not willing to go down without a fight. Can Shinji and his friends really save the day? Don't miss Chapter 4 of The Happy Red Planet, "The Shinji Ikari Collective Diary"! There will be fan service, too!
Author's notes: In the Directors' Cut version of episode 24, it truly did look as if the headless Angel statue inexplicably changed shape later on. Of course, the "real life" explanation is that the fancier design came from the Evangelion movie Death & Rebirth, and later on some of the movie footage got added to episode 24 to create the Directors' Cut. But for an in-story explanation, I thought it would be fun to say that Kaworu had been trying to repair the sculpture. As for why I wrote that the statue is a depiction of Adam, there are two reasons why I went with that idea. First, in the Death & Rebirth movie, the sculpture appeared to be bleeding from its neck stump after Kaworu died, indicating a special connection to Kaworu. And secondly, Kaworu said "Adam, our mother" in episode 24, and the statue had breasts, so I figured maybe the reason why the statue has a connection to Kaworu is that it's supposed to be a representation of Adam.
Thanks again for reading, and feedback would be greatly appreciated!
-Literary Eagle, 2014