Chapter 2

House called her everyday, she only answered when she was in a hurry and forgot to look at the caller id, which wasn't so often. But House didn't give up, he called everyday, sometimes two times a day, sometime she thought he would tell her he knew, but he didn't, he didn't know. She didn't know if she thought that was a good or a bad thing.

She knew she was childish, running away from him like a scared child, not telling him what was his right to know, but still she never called him and told him the truth, she was stubborn that way, like her father, once she made up her mind on something, it was hard to make her change it.

It had been 4 months since she left New Jersey, 5 months pregnant, it was time for her to look up adoptive parents for her baby. She had gotten a book filled with people who wanted to adopt.

Gabrielle watched her daughter as she looked through that book. She couldn't really let it sink in, this would surely break her daughter. Her daughter had been through so much, from her early teenyears trouble wouldn't seam to leave her alone, she broke one time before, when she was 16 years old, Gabrielle remembered finding her daughter on the floor in the bathroom in her own pool of blood, she had never been as scared like that day, sitting in the waiting room, not knowing if your own daughter would survive, not knowing if your daughter wanted to survive, why she had done it. She remembered how small she had looked in that hospital bed, purple bruises from something she still didn't know about, her daughter had kept that secret from all of them.

She was afraid to talk to her daughter about it, afraid of how her daughter would react if she brought up things she knew she was trying to forget, she knew her daughter had a hard time sleeping, she herself had it too, they would meet each other in the kitcen in the middle of the night, sharing looks of a silent conversation, every night it was a diffrent look, it almost grew colder, but warmer too, it was strange to see such battle in her daughters eyes, her daughter could lie about things, but emotions she couldn't keep in check, just like her mother

She watched as her daughters hand subcontiontiosly went to rest on her swolen stomach, and she smiled slightly, why couldn't her daughter realize that she could keep this baby.

She walked up to her daughter, and looked down in the book, her daughter looked up.

"Is anyone good?" she asked casually..

"Yeah... all of them are.. but these sound good: male 38 woman 35, the have tried to have a baby for two years. The man is a editor and the woman is a journalist. They have a big circle of friends, and have enough money to support at least 5 children"

"They sound good" Gabrielle told Cameron, and Cameron smiled.

"Of them I've read about they sound like the best, a big circle of friends is a good thing and everthing is just... great"she heard that her daughter faked happy, really bad.

"Good, are you going to pick them?" she asked her daughter as she sat down next to her and put an arm around her.

"I still have a few pages left, and I have to meet them first... but probably"

"Good" she squeezed Cameron's shoulder, and looked down at the paper as she turned the page with a sigh. "That'ts good" she kissed her daughters forehead.

"Yeah" Cameron said in a whisper.

------

"How are you feeling dad?" Cameron asked as she walked out in the cold where her father was sitting.

"Wonderfull!" he smiled at her. His nose and cheeks were red, he had gloves who were dubble the seize of his hand, a big green jacket and a red hat.

"You look silly" she told him, and shook her head, a small smile on her face.

"You look great" she laughed, and sat down next to him and looked out over the snowcovered garden.

"Yeah yeah... stop telling me that, I may get crazy"

"Aren't you all ready?" she glared at him before smiling.

"Only a little" she shruged, and they sat there in silence for a while.

Cameron's hands rested on her bump that was only partly hidden under her jacket, it was the day before she was meeting the people how could be the ones to raise the child in her stomach.

"Have you talked to the doctor yet?" she asked when the silence became too much, his eyes turned to her, he was hesitant to answer.

"Yes, talked to him when you were at your last doctors appointment..." Cameron nodded.

"What did he say?" she heard her father take a deap breath.

"Without meds I have about... 3-6 months left... on them I have about a year" he shruged.

"Oh" she looked to the ground, and leaned closer to her dad. "Then we have to make this time left great" she smiled and huged him. His beard tickled her cheek and she giggled, and green eyes looked at her, curiousity sparkled.

----

She heard a playfull banter from outside the door, and she took a deap breath. She'd worn the best clothes she could find, washed her hair countless times but she still couldn't shake the feeling that she'd forgotten something. As she once again, looked through her purse to see if she had her cellphone with her, and that it was turned off, the door opened, and a couple just a bit older then herself walked in the room hand in hand.

"Hi! My name is Kathryn" the blond woman said with a waved shyly, and Cameron reached her hand out to shake it. "And this is David" she pointed at the man, and she did the same with him.

"I'm Allison" she smiled at them, and they nodded, and sat down.

"So your questions... what ever you got" David said and smiled.

"I was just wondering... what are your working hours?" she thought she'd begin with that one, she didn't want her child to be left alone, if it would, she might as well keep it?

"Usually they are from 9-4 or 5, but that depends on the days and if we're behind in work" Kathryn said simply.

"What kind of neighbourhood are you living in...?"

"It's just outside Chigago, with security guards in the lobby" Kathryn answerd again, but then she started to look puzzled "I imagened you younger..." Kathryn said. "Why would you want to give up your baby?"

"Eh... I got pregnant from a... one night stand... and my job is more then demanding..." she sighed as she had given the same exlaination as always, the simple one, the short one. It would take to long to explain that her boss was the father, a person she once had loved, about the stupid and childish bet, about everything...

"Okay..." Kathryn answered and looked to where Cameron's hands neatly and protectivly rested on her stomach, and she saw a huge possibility that they may not get this child, she was to etached, it wouldn't be the first time.

-----

"Andrea! Stop that!" Cameron yelled over the room, her sister had ditched them with her in the last minute.

"No!" Adrea yelled over the room, and trew yet an other ball on her younger brothers who only screamed louder.

"Now!" she demanded "Stop that now!" she sighed, she hated that neice of hers at that moment, and on top of it Maya was tugging at her trousers.

"Aunty Ally! Aunty!! Ally!!" she yelled to get her attention.

"Yes, Maya, what is it?" she asked stressed.

"Why are you so fat?"

"Jeez thanks" was Cameron's recponce, and Maya pouted and rushed over to her sister and grabed the balls she had been trownig at her brother and trew them at her instead, Cameron sighed.

"Aunty Ally! She's trowing balls at me!!" Andrea whined.

"How do you think your brothers felt?" she asked Andrea, not caring that she once again was acting childish, sometimes it was nessesery. And she started to clean up he room the best she could with children still in it.

"But they can't even speak yet, not even say a swearword!" Andrea protested. "I can say one! Sh-" her mouth was covered with Camerons hand quickly.

"You can not say that word out loud, okay? Do you understand me?"

"Yes aunty Ally" Andreas eyes matched her fathers brown when he did the "puppy" face, and Cameron couldn't help but laugh.

"Good" Cameron sighed with relife, and she smothed out her shirt, and looked over to Maya who was standing there, arms behind her back. "And you Maya, don't trow balls at your sister"

"She trew them at Jimmy and Philip!" Maya protested.

"That doesn't make it okay" she shook her head, she couldn't understand how her sister could deal with 4 kids at the same time, 4!

"But Anuty Ally... why are you fat?" Maya asked again, and Cameron sat down because her legs were killing her.

"Because I have a baby in there" she told Maya and smothed her hair.

"How did you get a baby in there?" she asked, confused.

"A man gave it to me" she said simply. Maya frowned, but knew most things are to complicated to even begin to consider.

"So I'm going to have a cousin? Like Hannah!?" Maya asked, almost shouted with happiness.

"No Maya... I'm having this baby for an other woman who wants children, but a man can't give her one" she said, and Maya sat down next to her, a frown yet again on her face.

"Okay" she said sadly. She looked over to her brothers and sisters. "Will you tell us a story?" she asked, and smiled.

"Sure... Andrea do you also want to hear a story?"

"Yay!" she trew her hands up in the air and ran over to them. "About a princess! Please!" Cameron laughed, and nodded.

"Okay, about a princess" Andrea and Maya curled up next to her, and she looked over to Philip and Jimmy who were now sleeping. "Once upon a time there was a little princess, she was really happy living in her far away kingdom. Her father, the king, and her mother the queen, were the only people she knew in the whole wide world. She had a little sister though... but she was sooo many years younger then her, and she couldn't play with her. That was when..." what she didn't know was that her parents were listening to every word she said, just outside the doors of the livingroom, sitting on their chairs with matching sad smiles.

----

"I'm walking on sunshine... wohoho! I'm walking sunshine...!" Danny and her husband Trevor sang out of tune in their kitchen while making dinner. Cameron watched amused, never had she seen her sister and brother inlaw so relaxed around her during the time she had been in Chigago. She shook her head and took some advocado that they'd put in the sallad, and smiled teasingly when her sister caught her with a glare.

"Wait til' dinner, or you'll be full by the time it's served" she said warningly.

"Yes mom" she mocked, and smiled, her sister laughed, and started to sing loudly again with her husband. The girls were at a sleepover and Phil and Jimmy were being watched by their mom and dad.

She stood up when her phone rang, and she walked out into the livingroom where she left her cellphone on the coffeetable. She laughed again as they sang really false, and picked her cellphone up and read the display, a thing she had started a habit of doing.

House it read, and she took a deap breath, simply staring at the phone. Tears formed in her eyes, and she looked down. She couldn't do this, this was too hard, keeping this from House would be the hardest task in her life. But she had kept so many things from House during the years, he had not figured out anything of her past, only glimps of it. She smothed her hair out, and held the phone in her hand as it rang, her fingers hoovering over the no and yes button. After a few seconds with an innerbattle, she pressed no, and up came a message of one missed call. A few minutes later she got a message from her inbox, she called it quickly, knowing that Trevor and Danny were busy at the moment.

"You got one new message... came in at 6.23pm december third." she waited for the message to start after the long pause, like it knew that she needed to collect herself for this message.

"Nice reciever!" she heard House's voice, and a strange bold feeling filled her. "I think it's a little to long for my taste... " there was a long silence, almost too long, and she wonered if she missed that he had hunged up, but then the voice telling her the message was over would have came. "I'm just calling to check up on you... you've been ignoring me I see (chuckle)... I can see why" her heart started to beat faster, he couldn't know, or could he? "I'm a heartless bastard who you couldn't fix, now that is a huge problem for you" she heard through the sarcasm that this wasn't what he intended to say. "Anyway... call me when you hear this, I have something to tell you... or don't, you probably won't." and the message ended, just like that.

She closed her phone and looked down on it, she wondered how it would've been if she had told House, would she had been pregnant then? Would she had been happy, or really miserable. There was no way she could know, she just wished she did.

"Are you okay?" Danny asked conserned, Cameron looked rather pale.

"Yeah... I'm fine" she said with a smile, and put the cell phone on the table next to her.

"Who was it?" Trevor asked, turning around from putting the food in the oven.

"House" she said and started to play with the phone.

"Oh" Trevor answered and quickly looked away.

--

After dinner they watched a movie they'd rented earlier, after having to watch kids movies for over 5 years, they choosed a horror, against Cameron's will.

Half way into the movie they had all ready figured out the end, but continued to watch for the middle part, it was how they got to the end that would be exciting. But Cameron was holding Danny's hand really tight, closing her eyes everytime the girl ran away from the monsters, or when the girl screamed, or anything that could resemble something scary, she absolutly didn't like scary movies.

She sighed with relife when her cell phone rang, and she grabed it and ran out of the room. She looked at the caller id- Wilson? She had forgoten that she'd put his number in there.

"Hello?" she said, and quickly looked out into the livingroom, they were too wrapped up in the movie to hear her, so she went to sit on the stairs just next to the door. She looked out of the window just as she got a responce.

"Hi... it's Wilson" he said, and sounded distracted.

"Yeah... I know" she answered, and looked to the livingroom again, the volume was so loud that it made her heartbeat faster even when she was sitting out there.

"So how have you been?" he asked casually.

"Wilson, you haven't called me once before, so why are you calling now?" she heard him sigh, and she leaned against the railing of the stairs.

"You've been ignoring House's calls" he stated.

"Yes" she admited.

"He's been bugging me because of it... can't you just take his calls?" he asked, and this was her time to sigh.

"No, I'm off from work an other 7 months, I have no intentions of thinking of anything work related while I'm here" she said, it was one thing she couldn't take.

"Why are you talking to me then?" he asked, and she almost smiled at her own stupidness.

"House only calls because he want's to whine at me, feel that he still have some power over me still when I'm this far away"

"House calls you because he's miserable" she closed her eyes and fought the wave of guilt that washed over her.

"He's always miserable, that's who he is, a miserable s.o.b" she snapped, she didn't like that wave of guilt, and everytime she got it she snapped in one way or the other, this time: verbly "Sorry... I'm just tired" she said and rubbed her eyes, she was actually tired.

"Ok..." he said, and she started to hear sining from the livingroom again, Trevor and Danny was singing along to the music that came with the subtitles, Cameron didn't want to know how they could sing along to almost every song that was played. She knew Wilson heard it cause he chuckled.

"It's my sister and brother inlaw..." she explained, and shook her head. "They've been singing all day, believe me, it's real hell" he laughed loudly, and suddenly he became quiet, and she almost heard him say 'shit'.

"I uh got to go..." he started, but she heard a voice in the backround, somebody who sounded a lot like House.

"Who are you talking to?" he asked, she heard Wilson hesitate, damned Wilson. She knew he'd figured it out when she heard his voice closer.

"Cameron?" her breath caught in her troath, tears stung her eyes and she couldn't get out a word, she only sat there in silence. "Cameron, are you there?" she closed her eyes and willed herself to either speak or hang up. She heard Trevor and Danny singing, happy. Why couldn't she be happy?

"Yeah..." she said after a while, but she wasn't sure if he heard it. But now Hose didn't answer, they only sat there in silence for minutes, the song died out in the livingroom, the sound of carhorns seamed far away, and they only thing she could hear was the sound of his breath.

"Why have you been avoiding my calls?" he asked, and she didn't know an answer, she stared at the ground.

"Cause I didn't know what to say to you..." she said and looked at her fingers who her sister had painted that morning in a really light pink colour that was just a shade paler then her skin.

"About what?" she could hear fingers druming on a wooden surface, and she pitchured House sitting by the piano, druming his fingers on the top of it while waiting for her answer.

"About everything..." she didn't know what to say. "My father refuses treatment" she could feel the tears well up in her eyes, and soon tears were falling frealy. "And I just hate it... there is nothing I can do... I can't save my dad, I can't keep any secrets and... I can't be happy, I can't be like my sister" she tried to fight the sobbs that were treathening to escape her mouth. "And I can't make a healthy person love me... a nice person. And I'm getting tired of lying, of faking, I just-" she stoped herself before she told him, put a hand over her mouth and looked up, there in the door way stood her sister looking at her sadly. "I'm sorry... I have to go" she said quickly, and flipped the phone shut.

Her sister rushed up to her and huged her tightly.

"It's going to be okay" she hushed Cameron who burried her head in her shoulder. "It's going to be all right"

AN: Ok, to be honest I wasn't going to update for a while, but I was in such a great mood I just had to! I just got a new cell, after two years with the shittiest cell phone in the world, and my soon thirtytwo year old sister has finally found herself a boyfriend after being single for my whole life (as far as I know), and that's 15 years (soon). So I'm walking on sunshine! And I'm soon going to "Gröna Lund" with a friend I haven't seen for two months, and then I'm going to Gothenbourg (?) and live with my sister, and go to "Liseberg", and then I'm going to Gotland with two friends, and my familly!!! July is the best month ever! And with this I say: updates can become tricky...
THANK ALL OF YOU WHO REVEIWED LAST CHAPPTER! YOU MADE THESE RAINY DAYS "FUNNER"XD
Sorry for typos(if there are any, my readingglasses are gone for the moment...), if you see something major, or something that really anoys you, tell me, and I'll fix it!