Even the Bad Guys need Christmas Too

It was the Holiday time of year once again and people all over Mobius were celebrating the Christmas season. In Mobitropolis, King Acorn received a new scepter as a Christmas gift from his daughter, Princess Sally. While in Queen Aleema's kingdom, her three children surprised the monarch and her royal court with a Christmas cantata. On South Island, the president received a new pair of jogging shoes from his daughter Sarah. And even on Angel Island, an echidna and his friends were toasting the holiday in front of a burning yule log and a wonderful tree, as we have seen.

But these weren't the only places that Christmas was being kept. For even in the darkness of the shadows, the most cold-hearted and ruthless beings on the planet were ushering in the yuletide.

"Well, I think this tie looks wonderful on me." The bald overweight villain laughed, stroking his mustache. "Scratch, Grounder, bring me my festive holiday jacket."

"Yes, your evilness." The bird replied, digging through the closet and pulling out a red and blue overcoat. "See he asked me to bring his jacket, boltbrains. He likes me better."

"Oh, he does not." Grounder whined, reaching up to the hat rack with his driller claw and pulling a red fedora off. "Doctor Robotnik, he's telling lies again."

"Stop your jabbering, you worthless piles of scrap." Doctor Ivo 'Eggman' Robotnik growled at them, putting on the coat and hat that barely fit over his morbidly obese figure. "I'm going to go to this villains party and have a good time." He pointed a finger at the two angrily. "And I don't want you dumbots messing it up for me. Or I'll turn you both into toaster ovens."

"Yes, your rottenness." Both robots replied, saluting him. As the Doctor turned to leave his command center, a familiar metal monkey came out of the bathroom.

"Oh, oh, can I go to Dr. Robotnik?" Coconuts asked, holding a plunger in one hand and a toilet brush in the other. "I'm so sick of cleaning brown gunk out of Egg-toilet. Can I please have a dayoff? Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"Not a chance, you banana chomping bozo." Robotnik replied, pointing a finger towards the upstairs bathroom. "By the way, I just happened to leave an eggbomb up there for you to clean up. It was four egg burritos this time, so be sure to get the bits of undigested corn this time." The monkey turned a pale white as Eggman walked out the door.

Trudging his way across the snow, Robotnik made his way towards one of his empty factories he had temporarily converted into a banquet hall. As the mad genius opened the door and walked in, he was greeted by the shouting and revelry of the other villains of his kind.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR, YOU SLIMEY LITTLE BEAR!" Storm the Albatross roared as Jet and Wave tried to hold him back. "I SAW YOU SLIP AN ACE INTO YOUR HAND WHEN MY BACK WAS TURNED!"

"BAH! PUNY LITTLE BIRD! NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT!" Bark roared as Bean and Nac tried to hold him back. "YOU SHUT TRAP BEFORE I SHUT TRAP FOR YOU!"

In another corner, another weasel was trying to strike a deal with an even shadier looking character.

"Now, listen to me Palsy. I've got the deal of a century for you here." Wes Weasley held up a box that said 'Do it yourself repair fit for robots'. "With this little beauty, you'll never have to rely on the doctor for repairs again. Metal Sonic stared at him for a moment before drumming his fingers together.

"Tell me again why shouldn't I annihilate you and that lying mouth of yours, meatbag. That rust prevention kit you sold me nearly got me short-circuited underwater." And over by the bar, an evil magician was trying to work his spell on the barmaid.

"Ah, there is no way that you hate the quickster more than I do." The grungy little troll snapping his claws together. "And if you'd care to join me after this party perhaps we could discuss an alliance?"

"Blow it out your magic hole, Nagus." Breezy grumbled, cleaning another glass and smacking it down on the table in front of him. "You're the third villain here who's tried to get in my pants tonight, right after that stupid shark over there with the sunglasses and that albino Fin—whatever his name is, echidna-guy. So, why don't you just cast a spell and make yourself disappear?"

"Drat, I am foiled again in my attempts at romance." He rubbed his beard with his claw. "Maybe I should go over and see what Wendy Witchcart is doing. It might be a little gross but it's better than spending the night alone."

"Ah, my fellow doers of dirty deeds." Eggman raised his arms in greeting. "I'm so glad all of you could make this party. I don't know what I would have done without all of you."

"Less talk, Eggface, and more booz." An angry plant mobian over in the corner demanded, pouring another beer all over his roots. "I should be the best treated here. I am, after all, the only villain who can claim to have killed Tail's girlfriend."

"Oh, shut up Darkoak." Breezy snapped at the smashed metarex. "You probably never killed anybody in your life. You're the most pathetic bad guy among us."

"Oh look who's talking." Nac jumped in defending his drinking buddy. "What's on your list of accomplishments? Tricking the hedgehog into thinking you were in love with him? Having an affair with Robotnik Jr?" Nac poured another bottle of whiskey down his throat. "At least, the rest of us didn't have to sleep our ways to our victories."

"How dare you!?" Breezy growled stamping her high heels against the floor. "I will not take that from the half-bred son of a weasel wench and a disgraced member of the wolf pack." She stuck out her tongue at him. "I don't know why I bothered to come her and spend Christmas with you losers."

"People, people, please." Eggman put his hands up trying to get everyone around him to calm down. "We're here to celebrate this festive season. Not tear each other apart. So, why don't we all put up the tree and decorate the place?" The other villains nodded their headed in agreement and began making it feel like an EVIL Christmas.

"Let's get some decorations in here." Nagus declared as he and Wendy snapped their fingers and covered the walls in dead mistletoe and wreathes with wilted leaves.

"I can help with this." Jet declared, pointing out the back door as Wave and Storm ran out and back in again with a dead pine tree with all its needles gone.

"Insufficient decoration. This tree requires trimming." Metal Sonic raced outside and came back with an armful of ornaments, racing around the lifeless husk. He quickly decorated it with skulls, ghost lanterns, and torture chains with spikes and manacles."

"Thank you, Metal." Robotnik praised him, raising his hands. "That's the perfect tree for the holiday."

"Wait a moment, Ivo. It still needs a star at the top." Walking over to the fish tank, Breezy opened the top. "Bark, if you please." The evil grinning bear reached inside, grabbed a Mobian starfish and promptly strangled it.

"No, wait, please, I… Urk." Handing the corpse over to Breezy, he simply grinned.

"Here, you do the honors." The bear stated. The green hedgehog climbed up the ladder and speared the dead starfish on the top branch of the tree.

"Oh, this brains are oozing out the top." She smiled, turning back to the others. "Okay, everyone. Now it's a villains' Christmas."

"Nac, didn't anyone ever tell her starfish don't have brains?" Bark asked.

"Go with it, buddy." Nac advised him. "Don't kill the good mood we've got going here."

The party lasted well into the night with gifts being given and the alcohol flowing freely. It was nearly two in the morning when Breezy finally suggested they call it a night.

"Okay, Ivo. I think this party's gone on long enough." The hedgehog told him. "Metal Sonic and Metal Sally are interfacing under the bar. We've got Nagus and Wendy randomly zapping people's drinks and turning them into vinegar as a prank. Oh, and did I mention that several of your party goers brought their pet devil chao with them? The little guys got into our wine cellar and have drunk all of the kegs dry. The little buggers are scattered all over the basement floor asleep." Breezy shivered. "And I don't want to think about when they wake up tomorrow and all that beer starts to come out."

"Doctor Robotnik," A voice stated as a dark chao came stumbling up from the basement. "I think I had too much to drink."

"Bunta-kun, how did you get here?" Robotnik demanded. "I left you in the Chao Garden at the Scrap Brain."

"I… I… BLEECHH!" The chao promptly barfed all over Eggman's good shoes.

"Oh, that's great. That's just great. I just got these things polished." The mad scientist shook his head. "Okay, everyone. I think we're ready to call it a night."

"NOOO! You don't call it a night until I say you do!" A voice roared as a large purple Tasmanian devil came smashing through the front door. "YOU DON'T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, IT'S A HORRIBLE HOLIDAY! I HATE CHRISTMAS!"

"Oh, knock it off, Thrash." Jet grumbled, downing his last beer. "You missed the party anyway. So, why the heck are you so pissed off about Christmas?"

"Because the holiday is horrible." Thrash roared, picking up the green hawk and squeezing his neck until his eyes nearly bugged out. "I don't want anybody celebrating Christmas, especially not my fellow bad guys."

"Thrash honey, would you please calm down." Wave and Breezy each took one of his arms trying to calm the enraged devil. "Why don't we just pour you a nice drink and then we…"

"RAWR!" Thrash howled, knocking the two girls off his arms. "NO BODY CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS AROUND ME. I'LL SMASH THIS HOLIDAY ALONG WITH ALL OF YOU!"

The angry devil went over to the tree picked it up and threw it out an open window. He began to have a temper tantrum smashing tables and overturning people's beer.

"I LOST MY FAMILY ON CHRISTMAS! SANTA NEVER GAVE ME ANYTHING BUT COAL IN MY STOCKING!" Thrash roared, knocking away Eggman and Nac as they tried to restrain him. "You won't make me feel that pain all over again. I'll ruin your Christmas. ARGH!" The angry devil began tearing down the wall decorations when Bark and Storm finally moved to restrain him.

"Take it easy buddy. We don't want to have to clobber you." Storm said, softly, ducking one of the devil's kicks.

"Ah, don't say that Storm." Bark replied as he kicked the devil in the mid-section. "We'd love to tear this guy limb from limb.

"You can't restrain me. Nothing can restrain me." Thrash declared, pounding on his chest. "I can't be stopped by anything. AHH!" The devil found himself paralyzed by a magic shield put up by Nagus and Witchcart. Metal Sonic let out a blast from his midsection as Nac open fire right in the devil's face. Seeing an opening, Storm and Bark each punched Thrash on opposite sides of his head making him extremely dizzy.

"Oh…" Thrash groaned. "I don't feel so good."

"Here buddy, I got a present for you." Bean came running up carrying a gift box that had a ticking sound coming from it. "I'm sure you'll get a big bang out of this one."

"What?" Thrash asked in shock, looking down at the ticking present. "Oh no." BOOM! The crazed Tasmanian devil was sent flying along with several of the gifts and decorations from Robotnik's party.

"Oh that's just great." The dictator wanna-be smiled, rolling his eyes. "Well, at least, my Christmas celebration was a total blast."