Ivy stared at him. "Are you crazy?" she demanded.
"Do I look crazy, Pammie?" Joker asked, grinning at her.
"You seriously want us to drive to the Gotham City Police Department so we can get to the roof and use the Bat Signal to summon Batman?" she demanded. "I don't even know where to begin to point out the insanity of that plan. You don't think they'll be tons of cops trying to stop us?"
Joker waved his hand. "Cops shmops. It's Batsy that matters. He'll help us out, I know it. We're best pals. He'd do anything for me, just like I'd do anything for him."
"That's sweet and all, but it doesn't address the issue of all the cops in their headquarters at GCPD!" retorted Ivy. "What's your bright idea for getting past them?"
"Oh, Pammie, Pammie, Pammie," he sighed. "I'm the Joker. Have a little faith in me. Harley would."
"Yeah, she's got a lot of other issues too," growled Ivy. "And can I just point out that most of us spend our time trying to avoid the Bat, not summoning him and letting him know where we are. What makes you think he won't just drag us back to Arkham?"
"Well, first of all, because it's missing the cell wing," retorted Joker, nodding at the smoking building in front of them. "And second of all, because I know Bats. Harley's life possibly being in danger is way more important to him than locking us up and potentially saving lots more innocent lives. He's crazy, you know."
"Yeah, takes one to know one," muttered Ivy.
"He'll find her," continued Joker. "You know Bats. He never fails. We can just sit back, relax, and wait for him to do his thing."
"And I repeat, then drag us all back to Arkham," growled Ivy.
"Geez, Pammie, no wonder you're still single," he retorted. "Show a little confidence, would ya? After Bats finds Harley, there'll be three of us to one of him. We can take him. And anyway, you don't think Harley's life is worth a little time in Arkham? Not much of a friend, are you?"
Ivy growled. "When you put it like that, how can I refuse?" she retorted.
"Great. Take us to the GCPD then," said Joker, leaning back and shutting his eyes.
Ivy looked at the burning building in front of them. "Why don't we just wait for Batman here? You know he's going to come check this out eventually."
Joker opened his eyes again, surprised. "Why Pammie, you mean to tell me you don't want to go walking straight into cop headquarters in order to light up a giant signal that will draw all of Gotham's attention onto us, including the Bat? Just think of the fun!"
Ivy stared at him, then sighed and started the engine. "I know I'm going to regret this," she muttered. "But if it means finding Harley quicker, I'll do whatever I have to."
"Atta girl!" exclaimed Joker, raising a hand to slap her on the back. Ivy shot him a sideways glance.
"What did I say about touching me?" she hissed.
He dropped his hand before it reached her. "Oh yeah, that thing about children," he murmured. "They might be good for a laugh someday, a whole Joker brood. And Harley just has her heart set on little Arlene and J. J."
"Honestly there is nothing scarier to me in this world than the thought of you two procreating," retorted Ivy. "More for the child's sake than anyone else's. Harley would be a loving but in all other ways terrible mother. And the less said about your abilities as a father, the better."
"Aw, c'mon, Pammie, that's a bit unfair," he replied, grinning. "You don't think Daddy J would look after his babies? I've been a good Daddy to Harley all these years – why do you think she keeps coming back for more? I look after my baby girl when she needs her Daddy's sugar."
Ivy actually shuddered in disgust. "Ok, shut up now. Sick bastard," she muttered.
"Got father issues, huh, Pammie?" he asked, beaming. "That must be difficult for you, but I suppose it's not surprising. It does explain your overwhelming mistrust of men."
"Living in the real world explains my overwhelming mistrust of men," she snapped. "Or are you seriously offering yourself as the alternative to the typical cruel, selfish creep which I know most men to be?"
He shrugged. "I'm about to walk right into a police station and face my nemesis for Harley's sake. That doesn't sound cruel and selfish to me."
"You're not doing it for her, you're doing it for you," she retorted. "So you can have a clean and pressed suit, and a baby doll to play with or punch, depending on how you feel."
"Well, why are you doing it, Pammie?" he asked. "So you don't lose your pet project? What would you do with your time if you didn't have Harley to try to fix or order about? I think you enjoy it more than you let on. It's not about her – it's about you having some sort of power over someone, someone who respects your opinion and seems to genuinely care about you. In that way, we are exactly the same. We don't want Harley for her sake – we want her for ours. Selfishness ain't just a masculine quality, is it, Pammie?"
Ivy's hands tightened on the wheel, but she was silent. She couldn't let Joker get to her like that. He was doing this just to rile her up, baiting her and lying and trying to get a reaction out of her. The best thing to do was ignore him. But she couldn't quite ignore the smug, self-satsified smile on his stupid face as he looked at her, then leaned back in his seat, shutting his eyes again.