Author Notes: OMG thank you! For all who reviewed and those who even just took the time to read, thank you so much. Oh God, I love Bleach. God knows how much I'm obsessed about this anime. I have tried to insert every character possible that have existed and played a significant role. There are so many characters that I love—Renji, Ol' Yama-jii etc, etc… I hope you can see that in my writing.
For ARCtheElite- My sister and I were making oatmeal when out of the whim when my mother just added a whole bunch of Hersey's chocolate powder into it. It turned out to be very good actually tasting more like a chocolate bar than anything else… Well you can say that event fueled the thoughts for this fanfic…
Sorry for the long intro well hope you enjoy!
Part III
Alright, I know I'm dragging the story a bit but this is the last part, I promise—now where was—yeah, yeah, now I remember. Okay! So this "oatmeal" madness spread around infecting almost everybody finally reaching the old withered ear of Ol' Yama-ji…
"What is this "oatmeal" they speak of?" Yamamoto Genryusai asked his lieutenant, Sasakibe, "Bring the one in charge here—in my presence."
A few moments later, Rukia arrived with her captain close behind her. She trembled from the inside as her hands rested a tray that contained a bowl of that said oatmeal. Sasakibe took the tray and carefully placed it on the lap of the Captain Commander. He reached for the spoon as silence settled and rested physically in the room. It was a silence so palpable, so heavy, that Rukia's bowed head had the sensation that it was being pulled straight towards the ground. Ukitake was sure that the old man will like it because,
"The elderly love oatmeal?!" What is that? I don't know, but that sounded like a stereo-type to me…
Yamamoto took a bite. He savored that first taste in his tongue before swallowing. Everything was silent. He took another bite. Five minutes later he was still calmly eating, still leaving everyone in silence. He bent his head over and ate the meal in little spoonfuls. The sound of eating filled the room. Then some of the oatmeal dribbled down his beard and Sasakibe wiped it up.
Ukitake nervously smiled. He really looked like an elderly man with no teeth enjoying a bowl of oatmeal.
Don't get me wrong—Ol' Yama's got teeth, please, please, don't tell anyone, I said that…
After he finished, Sasakibe wiped his mouth and then he spoke.
"Never in all my years, have I tasted such magnificent oatmeal."
Rukia raised her head in complete shock.
"This food should never—never be wasted. Therefore it will be law—that anyone who dares to dispose this chocolate oatmeal—will be sentenced to a hundred years of prison!!!"
After those words had been spoken he took a sip of his tea and suddenly dipped his head in sleep. Sasakibe nodded and told them that they were allowed to leave. Rukia was speechless, shaking and still rattling from shock.
Nobody had a problem with the new law. Everybody loved eating it and Rukia always made just enough leaving no leftovers. I kept the promise that I made to her. I left a bowl at the 6th captain's desk. He stared at it and then stared at me. I left and came back to hear what he thought of it. He just said, "It was fine, bring me some more…" Hmmmmmmm……. I find that really strange since everybody had outrageous outbursts when they first tried it. Ehhh… but anyways, Rukia looked so DAMN happy, when I told her. So she proceeded to always leave a bowl for him everyday…
The new law was being passed through the elders of Central 46. So even if the 1st Squad Commander issued it, basically it really wasn't applied until the approval was declared to everyone via hell butterfly, and of course Byakuya was well aware of this…
Renji strolled in one afternoon with a couple of papers from Captain Unohana informing on the upcoming medical checkups for the 6th Squad members. The red head looked left and right, and seeing no one there, decided to leave the sheets on his desk. Obviously, when he comes back, he will notice. He took the door in the back as a shortcut since he was going to drop by Ikkaku's joint to have a drink.
Renji stiffened. His mouth slowly dropped and an inhuman screech emitted from deep within his throat.
Kuchiki Byakuya stood in the corner of his small garden dumping all of Rukia's oatmeal in a hole he dug and all the while his face slightly grimaced at the sight of the ploppy oatmeal as it had fallen into its premature grave.
Okay, okay—let's get this straight, I'm not saying that everyone has to like it, or that everyone has to eat it. What's killing me here is that he's lying—LYING!!! LYING?! Captain Byakuya—LYING?! I mean, I-I don't get it. This, this doesn't process…. It's going through my eyes, my ears and it can't get through my brain. There's some kind of fucking jam. ERROR! ERROR! He's always blunt about the truth and the laws with everybody… so why did he have to lie to Rukia—to me?
The grim captain slowly turned at the sound of the strange voice. Renji nearly shitted in his own pants, turning, he made a failed attempt to escape, to only face himself with a blade against his neck. He swallowed painfully.
"Any word of this, to Rukia—to anyone, you will be dealt with cleanly and silently, understood?"
Renji nodded slowly his whole body breaking in a cold sweat.
"Good, you may take your leave."
He released his grip and the blade fell away from the vice captain's neck. Renji gasped a sigh of relief. He took a few steps before stopping again.
"Have you even tried it?" A squiggle registered across Renji's face, "You've got to tell her the truth, especially with that new law coming into play."
"That is none of your concern."
"Okay, fine!" Renji barked throwing up his arms in the air in resignation, "But in the end it's gonna bite you in the ass."
Byakuya lashed a terrifying glare causing Renji to dash off scared out of his wits.
"Interesting, yes, yes, most interesting…" babbled Mayuri as Nemu jotted everything down.
"Huh?" Kira Izuru stopped since the 12th Captain and his vice stood right in the middle of the pathway. In his hands he carried a small bowl of chocolate oatmeal.
"You! Halt! …Let me see…" Mayuri jeered. He poked his sickly yellow eyes into Kira's bowl and saw sliced apples and peaches mixed in.
"Peaches and apples—write that down!"
"Yes, Mayuri-sama."
"What are you doing, Captain Kurotsuchi?"
"None of your business!" the mad scientist roared.
Kira squinted his eyes shut, "Gomen nasai."
Nemu waked over to the droopy blonde, "Spoon please."
Kira complied casually. Nemu took the bowl and ate everything he had. Kira gagged in shock.
"This combination is very good, it works well."
"Excellent!" Now let's find someone else!" he announced excitedly.
"Ehhhhhh…my oatmeal…" Kira cried painfully.
Ya know, in that notepad that Nemu carried around jotting stuff… It looked a little like this:
Oatmeal Combinations
Akon- w/ coffee and marshmallows / Very good…
Cap. Komamura- w/ kibbles and bits dog food / Somewhat strange…
Ikkaku- w/ sake and cherries / Intoxicatingly delicious…
Soifon- w/ honey / Very sweet…
Shuuhei- w/ ramen noodles / ???????????
Ukitake- w/ chocolate chunks and strawberries / Five stars…
Yachiru- on Ikkaku's head / Ikkaku would not let me lick his head…
Kenpachi- w/ blood spatters / sharp taste…
Unohana- w/ cough syrup/ fuzzy tasting…
Yumichika- w/ flower petals / Leafy…
Kira Izuru- w/ apples and peaches / Very good, works well…
Matsumoto noticed Hanataro rushing into her captain's office. Strange, she thought. What would little Hanataro be doing there? Being the curious woman that she was, she decided to walk in. When she did so, she found that Hanataro placed that bag he carried on Hitsu's desk. Her captain was there and he pulled the bag open revealing a bucket of ice cream. He smiled which shocked her and she saw him pull out his bowl of oatmeal.
It had been chilled into a frozen treat. He also had another bowl that was chilled for Hana. He passed it to him.
"Ohhhhh?" cooed the vice, "What's this?"
"Shut up." Replied Hitsugaya casually, "Hanataro wanted to try my version of the chocolate oatmeal." He explained.
"Mmm… come to think of it, everybody's coming up with different ways to eat it." She placed a finger to her lips in thought. She then skipped to Hitsu's side, "Ooooh, this looks good, is that cool whip?"
"Yes," he replied as he churred a swirl of the fluffy white stuff after the scoop of ice cream was placed.
"I brought cherry syrup is that okay?" Hanataro asked politely.
"Oh yes of course!" chirped Matsumoto snatching the bottle before Hitsugaya can even say a word.
Kenpachi grinned wildly. The ultimate man-kill-man tournament for the sacred prize of a bowl of chocolate oatmeal. He placed regulations that anybody who went to buy a bowl had to first participate in a tournament. The winner was allowed to buy one. Also if one buys a bowl, anybody has a right to challenge that person for it.
Constant wars ensued and Kenpachi loved it.
The Hell butterflies flew, and all of Soul Society knew, that it was official. No waste of any bowl of oatmeal was ever going to be tolerated. The request for approval was granted and the 46 elders in their 46 chairs enjoyed the 46 bowls of oatmeal that stirred them to eat it in 46 different ways…
End Notes: Long chapter, I'm sorry but Renji has a lot to tell *laughs* Next and final chapter—Part 4! Wait, and look for it. It's going to be even longer than this one, but it's very good I promise!!!
- Zerolr -