Sorry this took a while to upload. I wrote this chapter ages ago but I was nervous to put it up. I hope you guys enjoy, please leave reviews !

INHALE. Holding her breath again – almost like her body wanted her to suffocate. Quenching her lung's thirst for oxygen, lips parted to inhale. Fawn hues were wild, pots and pans crashing together inside her head like a morning alarm.

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING

"I'm comin' I'm comin'—" Jay slung her bag over her shoulder before turning the door handle. She opened it, face to face with a breathless James. "What's with all the fuckin' noise ?"

"Have y'—even seen—the time ? We're gonna miss—the fuckin' bus Jay, get your shit let's go—"

Jay lifted her wrist to glance at the watch wrapped around it – leather black strap, golden face. Two minutes until the bus left and it was a five minute walk. Oh.

"Why the fuck are y' so late ?" She gasped, slipping her sneakers on before James had her by the wrist, yanking her out of the door. Jay just managed to catch the handle, slamming it behind her before they were running.

"Overslept !" James replied, his grip tight.

Run, run, run as fast as you can –

"There it is !" James released his grip on Jay's arm, sprinting ahead. For a moment she thought he'd lesave her there, but he managed to reach the bus just in time, banging his palm against the door's window. "Whoa, whoa— man c'mon please open the door !"

And just like magic, the door flew open. "C'mon kid I ain't got all day—" The bus driver grumbled, ushering James on. Jay managed to catch up, stepping into the vehicle, lungs heaving.

Then his grip was on her wrist again as they walked to the back of the bus – to the only seats available. AVAILABLE because the back was reserved for the Black Jacks. The bullies of Jay's childhood. Teen hood. Every hood, really. The name didn't actually mean anything, it just sounded intimidating and boy were they. Frankie, who went by Kie, was the "leader" – his group of asshole narcissists following his every move. He had some kind of vicious addiction to Jay, whether it was a crush or an obsessive need to hurt and humiliate she didn't know. Whatever it was, it made her his main victim. The group would sit in their seats, sometimes taking up more than one, their legs resting on the chairs in front of them, leather jackets all matching like something out of GREASE. It was laughable, really, their morals certainly questionable. Perhaps it was just the thrill of having power over people. They worked up a reputation, that was for sure, physical beatings becoming more and more to people who stepped over the line. Whatever and wherever this line was.

Weary, Jay made her way down the path, nearing a seat when suddenly she was airborne, eyes wide before she face planted. Laughter filled her ears, humiliation painted on her cheeks as she rose and took a seat – arms holding herself from the world around her. James had only just realised what had happened, distracted by everything else. He helped Jay across to her seat, placing himself beside her. "Shit Jay, you okay ?" It was a stupid question and she shook her head in honesty. No, she wasn't. At all.

"Need t' look where y' goin' Baby—" Kie's voice could be heard through all the noise. "Put those pretty eyes t' use, huh ? Or those lips—"

"Shut the fuck up !" Jay snapped back, fawn hues now burning as she glared at the other. Eighteen years old, did she seriously have to put up with this ?

"Or what ?" One of his followers challenged.

Jay didn't respond, mostly due to James' uttering of the word "don't," in her ear.

The bus ride was long and so was the day, every lesson a drag. She didn't have many friends, but she had plenty of enemies – for no reason, either. Jay was a good kid. Friendly, helpful, positive—perhaps it was just the consistent abuse of willing to give that numbed her eventually, reducing her to cold glares and snappy responses, her aim always to bite hands off first and question intentions later.

It was the final DING of the bell that brought relief. Home time. Alone time. Freedom. The one thing she strived for—

DING. DING. DING—

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

Pots and pans. Metal against concrete. That was the real noise. Feet struggled but she was tied for good now, wrists and ankles both denied freedom by the bonds that restricted her movement. There was a chair in front of her – metal framing suggesting this was the sound of pots and pans as it had been dragged and placed during her sleep. Waking her up from – nightmares ? She was used to them by now, but lately it had been things that had actually happened to her. Memories that refused to be repressed. Had she drifted again ? Because she opened her eyes again but this time someone was sat in the seat. She struggled against the bonds, baring her teeth like a threatened animal.

Negan sat opposite her, closer than he'd been before thanks to her legs now being tied. He leaned back in the seat, eyes trailing over her burning skin. "You're gonna hurt yourself," he warned, tawny gaze looking to her bound wrists and as if his eyes had set fire to her skin she could feel sharp pains pricking. She looked down to her wrists, noting how the rope securing her had started to cut into the skin, red dripping down porcelain. Immediately, she stilled, frowning. Negan reached into his jacket pocket, pulling a tissue from the unknown before leaning closer. He moved to press the material to Jay's wound but she flinched and he looked to her. "I'm not gonna hurt y'."

"I trust you," she whispered. His eyes widened only vaguely, lips parting in surprise at her words. And just when he looked like he was about to respond, she SNAPPED. "—as fuckin' if. Lay a fuckin' finger on me. I dare y'." Hard eyes, confidence fuelled by gut wrenching fear.

Negan watched her, un-phased by her words as his lips curved into a smirk. "I was gonna ask if you'd hit y'r head." Laugh. He laughed before dabbing at her wound – the tissue absorbing blood like spilled ink. "How're you feelin' ?"

What ? The last time he'd spoken to her, he'd told her to STARVE. Now this ? Was it another dream ? Nightmare ? Negan could so easily become a part of both and the thought made her stomach churn. "The hell d' y' think ?"

Huh. The sound slipped past his lips as he sat back again, tucking the tissue under the bond. "Don't throw that shit in my face. I offered y' food. Offered y' a bunch'a my shit but no you can handle y'rself just fine."

Don't show weakness. Jay glared at him. "Why am I here ?" She's asked him already but he never responded. Never told her what vile things he hoped to do to her. With her.

There's a silence that creeps through the cold air as he looks at her. Admiring ? Imagining himself throttling her ? She couldn't decipher it. "I like you." He paused. "You're real fuckin' spunky, doll." Was she relieved to know he didn't HATE her ? Didn't want to torture her ? Was she relieved to know he LIKED her ? Part of her was, felt dizzy at the idea of Negan wanting to get his hands on her— stop this. Lips tightened.

"Ladies like you have gotta be preserved. What kinda gentleman would I be – leavin' you out there with those pussies ? What kinda protection can they offer you ? Fuckin' nothin' an' you know it. Don't try an' justify it. I can keep you safe. Give you what you want – what you need. I can look after you—"

"I don't need ya nor do I fuckin' want ya. The only thing I want from y' is for you t' get the fuck away from me."

"What are they to you ? Rick an' the Pricks. Go ahead, you can tell me."

A brow is arched in question. Why did he want to know ? "As if I'm gonna tell you shit."

"C'mon Doll. We've gotta build some trust, you an' me."

"You're hilarious."

"You're beautiful."

Quick. It's too quick for her to deflect and her expression exposes her shock. SURPRISE. She hadn't been complimented in—so long. She didn't know how long but it had been quite some time. Eyes blink fast and she feels her skin burning under his gaze again. "That step one ?"

"You suggestin' I have a plan ?"

"Guys like you always do. Get a girl, flirt a little, get 'em in bed, fuck 'em an' then y' let 'em go."

"Like a bird in a cage."

The bird reference sends a shiver down her spine. "Y' just like the rest of 'em."

"On the contrary, Doll, you're jumpin' to some mighty conclusions. How about you bite your tongue and get t' know me first."

"An' why would I wanna do that ?"

"I'm not planning on opening your cage just yet, Jay."

Is that a threat ? Why did he want her around ? Was this the torture ? Confuse her emotions – break down her walls and then throw her into the wild expecting her to just find her way ? "An' if I escape ?"

He laughed again. "You can go right ahead an' fuckin' try."

Jay hadn't actually seen the inside of the compound yet. She had no idea how big it was, how many people were within it—how well fenced it was. She'd been stuck in this box for fuck knows how many days. She'd lost track of time – along with her thirst and hunger. The idea of food caused her stomach to howl again, her face scrunching up at the sound. WEAKNESS.

Negan gave her a knowing look. "What can I do t' make you feel more—welcome ? More at home."

Now it was her turn to laugh. And laugh – and LAUGH. Perhaps it was the dehydration – she didn't know but she found it hilarious. LUDACRIS. "Let me go back."

"Not gonna happen, Doll."

Teeth bare. Frustration. "Fuck you if y' think I'm fuckin' stayin' here."

A hand ran down salt and pepper facial hair. "You'll come around. They always do, Baby Girl."

Bile threatened to rise again, although she didn't know whether it was the way her body trembled at those words with his voice or— nope. That was why. Except there was nothing in her stomach, meaning she'd just gag – and she did.

His expression creased to a grimace before concern starts to show, a hand reaching for her shoulder before she is stuck to the back of her chair, sitting as far away from the hand as possible. "Don't fuckin' touch me !" SNARL. The tiger was baring her teeth. The movement, however, had caused a shift inside and the overwhelming need to release her fluids made her whimper and now Negan was staring – entranced by the sound that slipped from pale lips.

"What's wrong ?"

"Nothing," she hissed. Even her subconscious was whispering now. You need to ask. Need to tell him. How embarrassing would it be ? Wetting yourself in front of him like a BABY. Ask him.

"If you say so—"

"I—" Jay's brows furrowed as she stared at the floor. She could feel him watching her expectantly – awaiting her words. "—bathroom." The way she whispered made her sound so ashamed.

"You're gonna have t' speak up, Doll."

Was he serious ? Dammit. An eye roll and she was staring him down. "I need to piss. Really bad. If you're a real gentleman then untie me—"

Amusement ripped across his face like a hurricane and she feels embarrassment shade her cheeks. "Sure. Y' just gotta say one word—"

Desperation surged through her, lips parting to speak before she has time to filter her own thoughts. "PLEASE—" Whatever. It was now or never. She couldn't waste any more time – her bladder was literally dying.

Lips curved into a grin. Pushing himself up from the chair, Negan untied her wrists from the arms of the seat before tying them together. Jay's brows raised. "What the fuck ?"

"Safety first." He knew she'd try to escape. He'd thought ten steps ahead and beyond by now. If she escaped, she could bring serious danger to his people and there was no way he'd risk that shit. Next, her ankles were untied, freedom to both limbs as she jumped to her feet. Regret immediately consumed her as she stumbled to the left, almost face planting the floor before Negan caught her. "That was fuckin' stupid. D' you have any idea how long you've been sat down for ?"

No response – only a GROWL.

He placed a hand around her bicep, leading her to the door – slowly. Respectfully. She was surprised, to say the least. He took his time manoeuvring her through the door, acknowledging that she'd be weak and shit had she underestimated how fine she was. Her legs threatened to buckle beneath her, body exhausted after a few steps – the world spinning. She couldn't allow herself to succumb to weakness. Not in front of Negan. STRONG. INDEPENDENT. Did she even believe that anymore ?

"You okay, Doll ?" Checking up on her as they walked.

"Fine."

"Bullshit," He challenged.

"You'd know."

"The fuck's that supposed t' mean ?"

Pause. "Y' know y' ain't livin' in some kinda fairy tale, right ?"

"Is that a fuckin' serious question ?

She glanced around. It seemed so abandoned. This area, at least. Maybe there weren't that many people after all ? The fresh air washed over hot skin and she inhaled heavily – so good. Drawn from her thoughts, she was halted by his rough grip around her arm and the fact that her limb could fit within his palm made her feel vulnerable. He had control – and her body needed to stop giving her thoughts.

"Here," he grunted.

"What ?"

"You said you needed a piss. So piss here," He pointed to the ground. What, was she fucking DOG now ?

"But I—"

"What, you thought you'd get the pleasure of pissin' in an actual toilet ?"

More humiliation.

"Someday, Doll. Someday. Now hurry up."

She bit the inside of her cheek. Don't say something you'll regret. Fawn orbs gazed down at bound wrists, the idea of trying to pull down her belted pants with tied hands causing her to blush. She might trip or stumble or— "How am I—supposed to—?"

Innocence. It's so pure and Negan looks at her almost sympathetically. "Need a hand ?"

She died inside, she was sure of it. Her insides cringed at the situation— brain screaming. "What !? I— no I— d-do, yes—"

Negan was swiftly by her side, hands moving to undo her belt. "Want me t' spank you too ?" It's a joke, but she doesn't take it as such. Legs quivered and she wanted to collapse right there and then. Her heart threatened to explode, nerves making her tense and of course he noticed.

"Relax Doll—"

Too stunned to reply, Jay just glared at the floor as she heard the zip on her pants go. They fell to the floor and the breeze sliced into skinny, bare legs. They gave way to the sudden cold and she felt herself drop, Negan's arms wrapping around her. "Fuck Jay—" Genuine concern. "I got you." He stood her upright, letting her lean against him as hands pulled her underwear down, his gaze directed elsewhere.

"You're lookin' away—" She observed tiredly.

"Gentleman," he hummed, helping her squat.

She was lowered to the floor, crouching in his grip. She would fight him for it later – for helping her. For caring for her … This was so fucked up. Her bladder relaxed and a sigh left her, fluids emptied with relief.

"Better ?"

Cheeks turned red and she scowled, no response. Her underwear was pulled back up, along with her pants – her belt was re-buckled, zip pulled up but his grip remained on her. She found herself trying to walk away, tugging weakly from his grip and he actually let her go. Surprised by the release, she turned around to question when suddenly she was pressed to the wall of the warehouse, hands pinned above her head. "What the fuck—"

Negan's face was right there, his breath hot against her skin. His gaze was predatory, watching every change in her expression as she could only gasp – his body pressing into hers. Fawn eyes looked up, confused fear tripping her every thought. He grinned at her. "Somethin' about you, Doll— right from the beginnin', that look you give me. It's fuckin' fire an' it hits me right in the goddamn balls. Not even my wives can do that—"

Wait—wives ? Another question to add to the ever growing list.

"S-stop—" She stuttered. "I don't—want this—"

He laughed. "Bullshit. It's written all over your fuckin' face, Baby Girl. You're tryin'a tell me that if I were t' finger that pretty little kitten'a yours, you wouldn't beg me – harder, faster ?"

So confident. Too confident. She couldn't let him win like this. She couldn't succumb to his words that he'd undoubtedly used upon a thousand women. This MURDERER. This MONSTER. He wouldn't win. She'd felt enough embarrassment for the next damn decade. It was his turn. "Please—"

"Please what ?"

She didn't know. Her body was currently betraying her, desperate for the touch, not a care in the world who's touch it was. Maybe she could use this to her advantage. "—touch me—" it was a shameful whisper, lips pursed, head tilted as she tried to grip at his wrists. An act, or so she told herself – refusing to release the last of her dignity.

Something animalistic surged within his wild eyes, grip tightening as he adjusted, one hand now wrapped around both wrists, the other skilfully drifting down her torso and to her thighs. It caressed the covered skin, rolling down her inner thigh before he was reaching past her belt, into her pants. This was actually happening. The man that had crushed the skulls of two of her friends. Her FAMILY. The angered pushed her on, whimpers bleeding from her lips. "Please Negan—"

He cupped her, one finger rubbing at her clit, slowly unwiring her. Legs went slack, weak body shivering at the touch that made her want to call out her pleasure but once again it was overridden by self-disgust. The touch kept going, getting more intense as his face got closer to hers, a kiss threatening parted lips as he nipped at her jaw. She was right. This really was all he wanted. To fuck her, to claim her. Then leave her. Abuse her emotions like she was nothing but a toy.

COLD. The touch was gone, fawn hues wide as she was lowered to her feet, wrists released so that they dropped by her sides. The grin that stretched across Negan's face was a mixture of handsome and psychotic. Why was handsome even there ? She felt sick. "Stew on that, blue fuckin' balls or whatever you ladies call it. Take it as punishment for bein' a little shit. You know, if I wasn't so fuckin' into you I'd kill you. Just keep that in your pretty little head, alright ? Stop actin' like some kinda fuckin' princess."

She'd planned to stop it. Had she ? Yes. Just— a little longer. He got there before her. That was it. Maybe. She could still win this.

"Oh—and I think we just proved how easy you are t' get on your fuckin' knees for me."

Done. He'd crossed the line. He stepped back from her but she was quick to react, a leg swinging out so that she kicked the back of his which caused his knee to buckle. He started to fall but stopped himself, so she kicked into his shin, sending him to the floor with a thump. Then, she was on top of him, straddling his hips like a saddle – gaze but daggers as she glared at him. "Your touch doesn't mean shit, Asshole. I'm just desperate, 'n' you're the only fuckin' one around. Oh, an' I think I just proved how easy it is t' get ya at my fuckin' FEET. Now I'm gonna ask that y' don't ever underestimate me, or I will walk the fuck all over y'. I don't belong t' you, or anyone else, an' I certainly don't give a fuck about you or ya tiny dick."

POWER. She's shocked by her own confidence and it seemed Negan was too, his gaze wide with awe. Lust. She noticed the heat in his stare – the excitement. A game. He gripped at her hips and grunted. "You aren't kneelin' on fuckin' rocks down there, Sweet'eart. Can you get off my dick ?"

Jay growled, stepping away from his body, rising to her full height. Negan did the same, except he only seemed to keep rising. A hand gripped at her bicep again and she was pulled roughly back into the warehouse. Her ass was once again in the seat, ankles tied to the chair along with her wrists. Negan rubbed his hands together, admiring his work before his attention turned to the radio on his hip.

"Negan—" it crackled.

Grunt. He unclipped it from his belt and brought it to his lips. "Go ahead—"

"Four took a walk. He's by the motorcycles, makin' a move. What do you want us t' do, Sir ?"

Four ? Was that some moors code shit ?

Negan bared his teeth. "Fuck dammit. Surround him. I'm on my way."

The radio was clipped back onto his belt, gaze flicking to Jay quickly. "I've gotta go, Doll. I'll be back in a little while, but in the meantime, think about what just happened, an' what can still happen. I know my dick's fuckin' solid for you. How about yours ?" He made his way over to the door, giving a wink. "You'll come around, Doll. An' when you do, an' trust me, you will, I'll make sure you don't regret it." Then, he's gone, door slammed and she's alone again.

Think about what just happened, and what can still happen.

She couldn't stop – thoughts racing like a storm inside her head.

Screaming – laughing – moaning.

She couldn't take it anymore. Struggle. Tug. Rip. Yank. Freedom. Her wrists were freed as the rope fell to the floor. Hands urgently untied the rope around her ankles and she forced herself to stand, waiting a moment before trying to walk again. Step after step she made her way to the door and wondered whether she'd come to regret leaving. Escaping. She had to try. STRONG. INDEPENDENT.

She pulled the door open, wincing at the daylight before stepping into it. Fresh air again. Avoiding the corner she'd gone to with Negan, she went the opposite direction – with no idea where she was going and no energy in her system. She only hoped this wasn't the way Negan had gone.

But what had hope done for her so far ?