I'll Be the One

I walk into my house, shrugging my jacket off. I've been attending the school for about three weeks, and it's not as bad as I thought. At least, it keeps me busy from thinking about him.

There's a note on the fridge with my mom's neat writing on it. It says that she's out, again with no reason. I pour orange juice in a glass and take it to my room. But unfortuately, it finds itself on the floor when I get there.

"Hello, Clarissa," the cold, hard voice speaks.

"What... What are you doing here?" I say, directing the question to the pale boy, sitting on my bed.

"Nice to see you too. I came for you of course."

"I don't want you here. Now go before I call the-"

"Call what? In case you've forgotten, you're not a shadowhunter anymore."

"I can still call Isabelle."

"You think your little friends can defeat me? Do you really want to put your friends and your mom in danger?"

"They're shadowhunters. They are all brave. It's what they do," I say, trying to sound unaffected by his threat, but I know he can hear my voice shaking.

"I know. they're brave enough to fight me. But the real question is sister, are you brave enough to let them? No one can defeat me. Especially now since that blonde boy is dead."

"Don't... Speak of him."

"Still hurts, doesn't it?"

"I said stop."

"I know, he loved you. But the fate tore you apart. Or not, since he killed himself-"

"Stop!"

"But you, listen, you and I belong together. We are one. Nothing such as death can seperate us."

"Leave. Now."

"Calm down. I won't hurt anyone. As long as you do as I say, really."

"What do you want?"

"Not much. I need a shelter."

"Being chased, I see."

"Not chased. More like, a moment of retrieve. I need more number."

"Give me one reason I should let you stay."

"Well, let's see. You have a mother who you love so much."

"Don't bring her into this," I hiss, glaring at him.

"Like I said, I won't. Really, how hard is it to provide me with some bed and food?"

"Do not harm my mom though."

"Don't worry. Humans... Selfish, aren't they? Selling the Clave for their loved ones. Too bad you couldn't protect the boy though-"

"I said shut up!" I scream, feeling the flow of my tears on my cheeks.

Without thinking, I flung myself toward him, knocking him down on the bed thanks to his lowered guard.

"Well, well, look at you. A fighter, huh?" He says, unaffected by my attack, not even struggling a bit. "Do you really wish to fight me, sister?"

"I-"

Then, without warning, Sebastian reversed our position and pinned my wrists against the soft material of the bedsheets.

"You stand no chance against me. Or do you want me to prove that?"

I swollow, knowing what he is capable of.

"I thought so," he says, crawling off me.

"What do you mean, I won't get to sleep in bed?"

"It means, you won't get to sleep in a peice of furniture which is very comfy, and often has a bedpost, and can be big or small, goes along with a pillow, bedsheet, and blanket, and sometimes can be messy, and sometimes can be neat, and do you want me to elaborate further?"

"Woah, sis. You've changed a lot. I think I like it."

I groan, I throw myself on my bed, throwing him some extra blankets.

"I cannot believe this. I lead the entire Endarkens army, and I have to sleep on the floor."

"Trust me, you'll start falling in love with it. You know, it will always be there for you when you fall."

"Ha freaking ha."

I open my mouth to say something annoying, but then realize... What the hell am I doing? He might kill me in my sleep tonight.

"Just stay away from me."

"Whatever you say, Clarissa."

This is wrong. I know it is. This dude I'm talking to right now is Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern, the guy who killed innocent people. I know he have something in his mind. He wouldn't have just wanted a shelter. He wants something. I know it, because I know him. After all, he is my brother. I suddenly feel sick at this thought. That I was having a humane conversation with him.

"Why can't I take the sofa?"

"Because my mom might be back tomorrow mmorning. Just go to the storage area and sleep!"

"Alriht, alright. I'm going."

After he leaves, I turn the light off and try to sleep. Only if I could. Damn. A murderer is in my house. A murderer is in my house! And he can possibly kill me in my sleep. But no. Maybe not. I don't think he wants to kill me. At least not now. He has another reason that he's in this house.

How the hell am I going to fall asleep with him in my house? The thing is, I won't. I don't have to. I turn the light on, and get my phone. I silently text the boy and get out of my house as fast as possible.

"So what happened?" Trey asks.

"I got kicked out," or have a murderer in my house.

"Wow, that's... Unexpected. For how long?"

"Depends," on when he's gonna get out of my house.

"So you just decided to stay at my house?"

Well, better stranger than a killer. After all, I slept with him once already.

"Yup. What room can I use?"

"You can just use the guestroom. Here, I'll show you."

Trey is different. I avoided seeing any guys ever since the incident except for Simon, but he's different. He makes me feel normal. School helps too. Like the whole Shadowhunter thing was just a dream.

Tonight, it's even harder to fall asleep, even though Sebastian isn't really close to me right now. Seeing Sebastian reminded me again. Of him. And it hurts.

'Jace, I know I promised. I swear. I am trying my best. But it... Hurts so much. I'll move on. I'll try, at least. But just for tonight, I want to let go of myself again. Just for tonigt. I want to be broken. I can still see your face. You are... You are smiling. And I want to keep it forever. But I can't. Still, I love you. I will always love you. And I'll always be the one who loves you the most.'

Can he hear that? Does he know how much I love him? There was so much I wanted to tell him. That I love him, how I fell for him, how he makes me feel, or at least good bye. Just one thing. Oh, how I'd do anything to say just one thing to him. Anything.

I cry silently, careful not to wake Trey up, and fall asleep on the wet pillow. Knowing that tomorrow, I'll have to wipe the tears, be brave, and continue moving on.

I know... It was short. But I was on a vacation, and damn. I left my charger! Did I mention no internet connection? Anyway, I'll update soon. Also, thanks for reviewing! Glad you enjoyed.