"Good Morning." Pete greets me with a particularly large smile on his face.

"It really is." I agree.

"Can't say why though…" He's cute when he's trying to play dumb.

"Nope," I agree. "I guess someone must have had a good night last night."

"Yeah, I guess so." His smile just got bigger, which I thought were impossible, but no, and now he's raising his eyebrows at me and then he cocks his head a little to the side.

"Stop looking at me like that," I insist.

"Like what?"

"Like you want to have sex with me again. Your face is going to give everything away."

"I do not want to have sex with you again." Lie.

"Ohhh, yes you do. If it was even half as good for you last night as it was for me, I can only imagine what you've spent the morning thinking about." Oh shit, oh shit, Addison you did NOT just say that.

"Ha," he breathes, pointing a finger at me. "You just admitted that you've spent the morning thinking about how much you want to have sex with me again." He's still smiling at me, and it's true, so I cant even begin to form any sort of comeback. My best bet is to change the subject.

"We really shouldn't be talking about this," I demand and try to push past him for the door.

"You started it," he accuses and then moves to stand directly in front of me.

"Get the dirty out of your eyes," I manage to say, though him staring right at me is making it difficult to breathe.

"Oh, I think we both know which one of us is the dirty one, Addison. Or do I need to remind you of what exactly happened last night." Damn it. Again with the sexy, and the annoying, but he's right, again, and I can't form a coherent comeback.

"Go away from me," I finally spit out, and slip past him through the door.

"Tonight?" He calls to me through the open door and I turn around and close the door behind us as quickly as I can in fear someone would over hear us at any moment.

"I can't tonight. I have a date with Kevin."

"But we both know you wont be spending the night with officer manly. Come over after." Oh God, I can't think. Someone tell him absolutely not before he smiles at me again and I agree.

"I don't know…"

"Yes you do," he assures me. His confidence infuriates me, and turns me the hell on. I need to get out of here.

"Go away from me," I demand, again. But he doesn't move, he just stares at me, and then cracks the tiniest of smiles, and it's over. I shake my head at him, a little bit in anger, mostly in defeat. He won, damn it. We were so having sex again tonight.

--

--

Kevin stops to collect me for our date promptly at eight, and he's dressed nicely, a blue button down shirt and nice slacks.

"You look nice," I blurt out as he walks me to my side of the car.

"So do you," he comments back, and I smile.

When we arrive at the restaurant I realize it's fancy, and that I've never been here before. He's really trying to impress me. Very sweet, but I don't really need it. I would have been perfectly happy staying home and making dinner myself. Okay, I'm a terrible cook, but maybe he cooks. Pete cooks. Shit. You are on a date with Kevin. The one who you're supposed to be making a relationship work with, hello… I will NOT think of Pete again on this date.

When our food had arrived we had settled into good conversation. He was full of good stories, he comes from a large family, and I like that. He recounted stories about work, and it really was amazing that he risked his life for others on a daily basis. Very sexy.

I avoid talking about myself, though, and I can't tell you why. Every time he'd ask me something personal I'd give a one word response and change the subject back to him any way that I could. He didn't seem to notice really, or mind very much if he had caught on. Honestly, I don't know why. I'm just not ready yet. Would I ever be? Sooner or later I'd have to clue Kevin in on the fact that I'm not exactly the picture perfect version of myself I'd hoped he'd been seeing. What if he didn't like the person I really was, or used to be anyway. Why am I feeling so damn insecure? This wasn't like me. I guess I'm just hoping for too much. I really want this relationship to work. I like him, a lot. But in my head I wanted this to feel so right, but what felt right was something completely different now. Though I hadn't thought about him much the whole night, every time I thought of telling stories of my damaged past, Pete was the only person I imagined myself telling them to. But I'm just getting my feelings all confused. Pete was just sex, not a relationship, this was, with Kevin. It would get easier, I just needed to relax. Talk to him.

But the weird confusing feelings were back as soon as he'd brought me home. He leaned in to kiss me goodnight and I suddenly realized that it was weird kissing someone else. Not awful, just different. It was a good kiss, just odd. It made me feel different than kissing Pete did. I can feel in the kiss that he cares for me. It was slow, sweet, and almost completely innocent. Innocent was the last word I could use to describe kissing Pete. When Pete and I kissed it was like something exploded in the pit of my stomach. When we kissed it was enough to make the earth move. It felt like it were a last person you'd ever kiss for the rest of your life kind of kiss.

I pulled back, my head spinning in thought, thanked Kevin for a great evening, and turned into the house. Damn it. Why, why, why.

I could feel Kevin's intentions and his feelings through the kiss, and I liked that. And honestly, I was just hot for Pete, I couldn't be certain that he felt what I felt from our kisses. So what the hell do I chose? A kiss with a future or a kiss that stopped my heart?

Why couldn't it be both from Kevin, or Pete for that matter? Duh, because it was supposed to be confusing. Love for me was never easy, always complicated. I could end things with Kevin, keep sleeping with Pete, but who knows where that would really lead. If I knew one thing about Pete Wilder it was the fact that he was more unpredictable than anyone I knew. That and the fact that he and I had the best sex I've ever had in my life. Yeah, I said it, just don't tell him. It will inflate his already enormous ego.

Even if I were to give it up for him, wouldn't he break my heart? 9 times out of 10 the answer to that question would be yes, but what if? What if this once it could be different and he could… love me. My heart physically ached at just the thought. Imagine what it felt like between us last night, him moving above me, holding my face, whispering my name. What would if feel like if with all those things he could be telling me he loved me, doing those things because he loved me, because we loved each other.

STOP. Just stop that right now. Don't be an idiot. That is not possible, never. Never think of that again.

Think of Keven, of what it would be like to love him… Ordinary. It was easy to picture what life would be like with him. Nice, not particularly complicated, predictable. Which is maybe just what I need. But I'd be settling for less that something that I really want because what I really want is too scary to take a chance on.

I don't think I even know what I want to do anymore. My head and my heart want different things. My head says Kevin is the safe choice, kind, attractive, successful, good for me. My heart is telling me that safe isn't what I need. It's telling me to choose the guy who makes my skin burn with desire, who holds me close and whispers my name while making me feel the greatest pleasure I've ever received.

Though my head is practical and justified and I should trust my head, I cant help but want to follow my heart. Even if the possibility of it breaking is looking to be the only outcome if I do.

No emotions. I told him that. I should be remembering that too. I had a very nice date with Kevin tonight. I would definitely not be opposed to many more dates with him if I had my way. If only my damn heart would stop screaming at my head.

Damn you heart. Now all I can think about is seeing Pete. It's almost midnight but I grab my keys anyway and proceed to fly down the PCH to get to him. I don't call, it would ruin it, and I'll bet you anything he's been waiting.

--

--

I am a complete and total idiot. I fell asleep. And now someones knocking on the door—please God let it be Addison—and it scared me awake. So here I am, wearing only a pair of sweats, trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes as I stagger to the front door. It's her, and God she looks beautiful.

"Oh my God, I woke you up." She offers sweetly, definitely worried she was intruding.

"No." I reply. Way to go there jackass, your hair is pushed up all funny and you got one pant leg up and one down. You for sure don't look like you've been sleeping.

"I am so sorry." She puts her hand up in defence and then looks like she's about to turn and leave.

"It's no big deal. Do you wanna come in?" Please God let her be turned on by messy hair and ratty old sweats. At least I was shirtless. Maybe that would work in my favor.

"No, I'll go. You should go back to bed. I'm so sorry I bothered you." Bothered me? Only as in hot and bothered.

"I want you to come in, please?" I smile at her, as best as I can through the groggy feeling still washing over me, and I think it must have worked, cause she's smiling too.

"Okay. But not for too long. I don't want to keep you up. " If she only knew. Her keeping me up is about the only thought on my mind right now.

She steps slowly through the door, wanders a little ways into the living room and then sets her purse down on the table next to the couch. She's never been in my house before. She's obviously scoping.

"What?" I ask her as her eyes continue to wander around the room.

"Nothing. Just looking. I've never been in you're house before," she replies.

I can't help but move closer to her. It's impossible to keep my distance from this woman. She looks amazing. She's wearing a blue dress that hugs every curve of her body perfectly. Then I remember that she's come from a date with that jackass Kevin and I want to kill him at the very thought of him getting to see her in that dress, too. Infact the thought of any man seeing her in that dress but me seems absolutely wrong.

"I like it," she continued on about the house, "I mean, if I were a hippie, I'd like it—

But I cut of her sarcastic remark by grabbing her gently around the waist and kissing her. Soft, but firm. She's surprised because it takes her a second to respond, but when she finally does, damn. I could do this—kiss her—forever. It's better with her than everyone I've ever kissed before her. My lips close perfectly around hers and she lets me keep control for just long enough before she slides her hands behind my neck, parts my lips with her tongue, and presses her teeth softly into my lower lip. Then she makes this sound, when I kiss her harder, deeper. I know she feels it everywhere, that little throaty moan says it all. When I hold her against me, she fits perfectly. Which reminds me, I'm standing shirtless here, she's over dressed. The blue dress ties in the front, and as soon as I pull on the tie, it falls open. She lets her hands down from my neck to let it fall from her arms. Underneath the dress she's wearing a little black lace slip. It's low cut and clings to her in all the right places. I realize then that she'd worn this just for me and I'm suddenly no longer worried about officer manly seeing her wearing the blue dress. I got this. I slowly thread my fingers through her hair and she brings her lips back to mine.

"Pete?" she breathes.

"Yeah?" I'm not stopping the kissing.

"Are you still tired?" She pulls back and she's half smiling and she's got that look in her eyes.

"Not at all," I manage to breathe out, but my lips never really leave hers so I cant be sure what she heard.

She wraps her arms tighter around me though, so I think she understood, and before I know it I'm pulling her legs up around my waist and carrying her to the bedroom. Not that we needed a bed. The counter sex last night was quite possibly the greatest sexual experience of my life, and I'd easily go for a repeat. But who am I kidding, every place we had sex last night was amazing. Best sex I've ever had, with anyone, ever.

When we get to the bedroom and are sucessfully horizontal, we continue making out like crazy teenagers for quite sometime. And we're holding eachother. She's got one hand flat on the square of my shoulders, the other the small of my back. I cant help but hold her face with one hand, the other running somewhere a long her thigh.

But as the need to feel our bodies together grows, final articles of clothing fall to the floor, and then…

Okay, so here's the thing. I'm positive that I've never felt this way. I know you probably don't believe me and I could be lying, but I'm not. Every touch, kiss, the way her body fits with mine. It's unthinkable. I've been telling myself for years that I'd never find anything close to this and now… And now she's holding me like she never wants to let me go. Not a problem, really. I'd gladly keep this going as long as she'd let me.

I cant be sure, but I think she feels what I do. I mean, she has to right? There's no way in hell we could possibly be doing this if it were one sided, we just couldn't. But I cant tell her now, that I feel something for her. She'd yell and insist I broke the rules and then yell some more. I know her. She may think I don't, but I do. Not as much as I'd like to, though. I'd know everything about her if she'd let me.

Which should sound scary, and with any other woman it would, but not Addison. I should be more scared, but I'm not. I can't explain why it's different, but something about her makes me want to do whatever it takes to make her happy.

So I take her hand from my shoulder and lace my fingers with hers. She smiles up at me as our pace becomes quicker and I almost wonder for just a moment what it would feel like to love her. How… perfect this moment might be if I could tell her. But I can't, love her, yet, even if I want to. Instead, I kiss her as hard as I can, with everything I have, hoping that for now that will be enough. She breaks the kiss to gasp for air and lovers her face into my neck as I whisper her name softly into her hair. She moans that sexy throaty moan I was telling you about before, wraps her free had tighter around my neck, and arches her back up so that her breasts are tight against my chest and I'm done. I don't know how I manage to last as long as I do. One look, one touch from her is enough to do me in. But she follows quickly after and we're suddenly searching for breath together, my hand still holding hers.

I'm exausted. Not that I couldn't spend the next few hours making love to this woman, because I certainly could. And yes, I said it. I don't care if it's supposed to be just sex. With her it wont ever be. Just don't tell her, okay? Let her figure it out on her own. It can't be long before she does, if she hasn't already, because I'm not even trying to hide my emotions anymore. But we were at it all night last night like horny teenagers, I'm tired, and all I can think about is how badly I want her to stay.

It's been at least ten minutes and I'm still half on top of her. I can't be sure how comfortable it is for her, but we're still holding hands and her free arm is wrapped tight around my middle. I can feel her smiling into my chest. Which is a good sign, right? Maybe she does feel the same. Well, a guy can hope.

It's only when I feel her yawn against my chest that I realize she's probably going to get up soon. She's tired too, and she's not supposed to sleep over. I suddenly realize I'd give anything to stay exactly as we are. Do anything to give her a reason to stay.

"I should go," she yawns again. I should ask her to stay.

"You're tired," I observe instead, rolling onto my side and pulling her with me a little, and she follows. I cant help it, and I reach up to brush a piece of hair from her face and she smiles.

"If you're trying to get me to compliment your skills…"

"Ha ha," I laugh mockingly. She's laughing too, but then she's pulling away from me and sitting up. Damn it Pete, think of something.

"Addison, it's almost two in the morning. You shouldn't drive home, it's late." Eh, it's something.

"Pete…" She stammers. I'm making her think, that really is something. But now she's up from the bed, oh shit.

"I'll sleep on the couch," I offer. Ask her to stay damn it, ASK her. "You should stay."

"I"ll be fine," she assures me.

"If you insist on leaving, then I'm driving you home." I reply, standing from the bed now, too.

"You're just as tired as I am," she observes.

"True, so why don't we both stay?" My heart was in my throat as the words came out. Anyone could hear it in my voice, how I felt for this woman, she was leaving now for sure.

She makes her way for the door, but instead of walking through it, she grabs a blue shirt that's hanging on the back, pulls it over her arms, buttons one or two of the buttons up the front and then returns to the bed. Oh. My. God. She lays down on her back, hands folded across her middle, and stares at the ceiling.

"I said so sleep overs. So talk to me." What in the hell, we wont be sleeping? Exausted, me, remember? Whatever, ass hole, she's in your bed, are you an idiot? "Talk to me so I don't fall asleep."

"About what?" I ask, grabbing my boxers. I pull them on quickly and then imitate her same position in bed. We're not touching anymore, and I don't like that. If I pull her into me, do you think she'd go? I'd like to think the answer to that question is no, but I can't chance it. At least this way she isn't leaving me.

"Ask me anything." Oh God, where do I start? Um… Do you have any idea how wonderful you are? How beautiful? How much I'd like to repeat tonight for as many nights we have left in our lives? Yeah those would really freak her out. Ask her something simple.

"Whats your favorite color?" Fuck. I'm an idiot.

"Really? Out of all the questions you could possibly as me, that's the one you're going with?" She's laughing it me, and it's sexy, so I'm thinking that was worth it. Way to go.

"Well what was I supposed to do? I can't just ask you if I'm the best sex you've ever had right out of the gate. You've gotta build up to the good ones." She's shaking her head at me, but she's smiling.

"Fine, you're right. It's blue..." Mine is too, your blue eyes, the way you look in the blue dress. "… and you are."

She just said that right? My heart is in my throat again. I can't speak. Tell her you feel the same way before you miss your chance dumb ass.

"Elvis or the Beatles?" She asks. Too late.

"The Beatles." Of course, and she's nodding in agreement. This is actually fun, I told you I'd know everything about her if she'd let me. "First Kiss?"

"His name was Michael Morgan, we were in sixth grade." Lucky bastard. "You?"

"Her name was Emily, I was in the fourth grade, she in the sixth." She's laughing again, and damn it if it's not quickly becoming my favorite sound in the world. Right after the throaty moan. "Lost your virginity when you were…"

"Ninteen."

"Twenty."

"Did you get along with your parents?" She asks next.

"My mother yes, always fought with my father, but only because we're too much a like. You think I'm a hippie? You should meet my father." When I said it, I almost regret it, its too much, although I don't mean for it to be. But she rolls over on her side to face me and smiles softly. I turn in to face her, too.

"My parents died when I was twenty one. Car crash." That's enough to almost crush me, I'm dying to pull her into me.

"Are you an only child?" I ask instead.

"Yes."

"So you were all alone?" I ask, out of turn, but she doesn't seem to mind.

"Yes."

"You're far more brave than I. I still don't know what I'll do the day I lose my parents, and I'm a grown man." She smiles and then reaches toward me and rubs the back of her thumb across my cheek. I lock my eyes with her, and it scares her, because she pulls her had back quickly.

"Are you happy?" She asks, but about nothing specific, and I'm not sure how to answer.

"Right now I am exceptionally happy." That worked, she's grinning at me.

"Good answer," she compliments, then continues, "But I mean, in general, in life are you happy?" I don't even know where to start. The truth?

"The work I do makes me happy. I know you don't believe in it, but it's the one thing I found I could count on when there was nothing else. But I don't know, I mean, personally, life has sort of found a way to allow me to find myself in unhappy situations more often than not. I can't say I didn't ask for some, maybe most of them, but eventually it got to me, and I just stayed angry with… I was just angry, all the time." Okay, that was some version of the truth. Was I really ready to tell her all of the truth. Not yet. Can't ruin the moment. "Is that why you moved here? To be happy?"

"Yes. I got so good at pretending that I could have fooled anyone. I fooled myself. The truth is I haven't been happy for a very long time."

"Until now, of course." I tease her, and she blushes a little.

"Yeah, until now," she agrees, but then her eyes find mine and her tone gets serious, "Really," she assures me. Damn it, I make her happy. If that's not the sexiest thing she's ever said to me... Her mouth keeps jutting open a little like there's something more she wants to say.

"You look like you want to say more."

"I was going to say thank you."

"I told you, you're not allowed to than me for se—

"I'm not thanking you for sex. I'm just thanking you for making me happy." Oh, lord. Heart, in throat, again. I can't not touch her anymore, not after that.

I'm looking right into her eyes and I know that she meant it. I see it, I can feel it. Everything is different now. I'm going to kiss her, and not because I want it to lead to more sex, or because I just cant get enough. I need to kiss her because she said I make her happy. Me. I can kiss her just because I want to, because she's mine, and I want all of her, starting now.

I pull her slowly to me and softly cover her lips with my own. She doesn't pull away, in fact she leans into me and I feel her kiss me back.

It's almost… innocent, compared to every other kiss we've shared. But I can tell you that it means more to me than any others put together because I know she feels it to. She's mine, there's an us, I feel it. When I finally pull away, her eyes are still closed. She keeps them that way for a long moment, then finally exhales and looks up at me. She puts a hand on either side of my face and really looks at me.

"Pete… I…" I cant see it. She felt it too, in that moment I knew. And she's trying to say it, and she's searching my eyes for assurance that I feel the same. She's the one my heart has been waiting for. I love her, really I do. It's ridiculous how hard and how fast I seem to have fallen, but it doesn't make it any less true. And she loves me, too. "I think I'm... Pete, I—

Oh my God, she almost said it. She loves me. But something suddenly snaps in her head, like she's trying to fight her heart not to speak the truth, her brain wont let her see straight. She pulls away from me and stands up.

"I should go." She whispers, but I know she doesn't mean it. I should tell her I love her, too. But I can't now, not when I know she wont say it back. She's made up her mind, at least for tonight, that those three words wont be said. Can't be said. Afraid that they will ruin everything, change everything, challenge everything we know, and it will, but it's worth it.

"I wish you wouldn't." I offer instead. My eyes, my voice plead to her, but I know deep down she wont change her mind.

"I know, that's why I should." She leans down then and kisses me again quickly, like it's a habit. She kisses me like I can imagine she would everyday, every time she left my side. Whether it's quickly beftore she leaves for work in the morning or as she leaves me home while she has a night out with the girls. My head is filling with thoughts. Not heathy. Must Stop. "Goodnight, Pete." At least she isn't saying goodbye. But that doesn't change the fact that it hurts me to let her go.

"Goodnight, Addison."

And then, just like that, she was gone.

Thanks for all of the lovely reviews. Can I tell you just how excited I am that PrP is in two freakin' weeks. I'm in need of some Tim Daly lovin, thats all I can say. Next couple chapters are coming soon, I've got a little break from work coming up, yay. Soo, enjoy, let me know what you think always. :D