FD: Hello again, our beauties! Is it happening?
Shimo: No, it's not. Now TYPE, damn you!
FD: Ah, you start. I can't think straight right now.
With a Little Help From My Friends
Chapter 3
By: Fenrir's Daughter and Shimoariku
"Damn it Sasuke," Shimo said. "How could you be tired? You're dead!"
"I know, but I am mistresssss."
"Grrr. Fine. We'll camp here at this crappy motel tonight."
The group stood outside of this rundown shack. It was three stories and the siding was coming off. Not the most appealing place. While Tsume, Kurt and Sasuke gathered the bags and supplies, Shimo was inside making the reservations for rooms. She came out with three rings with one key on each.
"Tsume, you're sharing a room with Sasuke," she said handing a key to the white haired Wolfman. "I don't want to hear the 'things' that happen between you two. That means one person to a bed."
Despite being dead, Sasuke blushed as he noticed the sly look Tsume was giving him.
"Kurt, you and me are sharing a room. Take all the things up."
"Jawohl!(1)" he said a little too perky.
"FD, you and Jack get the last room," Shimo said giving her the last key.
'DAMN!'
"Okay!" FD said snatching the key from her friend and pulling Jack towards the shack.
'What the hell! I did not agree to this shit!'
"Do I have to sleep with her?" Jack asked. All went silent and everyone looked at him. He was oblivious to the implications of the question.
"What?" he asked.
With twinkling eyes, FD pulled on Jack and hauled him into the building and up the stairs, her tail wagging madly. Shimo stayed out to secure the rickshaw. She had that feeling again. She didn't want to leave it alone. Something really bad was going to go down.
Back in their motel room, Jack and FD were settling in, which wasn't difficult if you considered they didn't have any luggage. Not much at least…
FD yawned, stretching out on her bed. All the while Jack never took his eyes off of her, not trusting her for a second. He blurted out what was on his mind without meaning to.
"How did you end up with them?"
"Huh?" she asked.
"With Shimo, and those other guys."
She sighed, stretching again. "Well, first I met Shimo. We were in this bullshit nowhere town on the Canadian border called Buffalo. Apparently, it used to be real hot stuff, back in the day. She's got a terrible sense of direction; poor vamp was trying to get to Russia!" She laughed, and in spite of himself, so did Jack.
"So, Shimo recruited me to sort of be her guide, and we ended up becoming friends. We found our way to Europe, and while we were in Berlin we decided to take a little brake and go to the circus. There, we met the great 'Nightcrawler'! Shimo saw him and it was love at first sight, I swear! We sneaked backstage to meet him, and he said their traveling circus had been bought out and that the new owner wanted to put him in the freak show. A great acrobat like him! The indignity!"
She waved her hand in mock anger, making a face. Jack grew more entranced.
"And then what?"
"He left the circus and came with us," she said simply. "He wanted to see Japan, so we skipped Russia and landed in Tokyo. There was this big…incident I'd rather not talk about, and that's how we met Tsume. He smelled his own kind and came to my rescue. We managed to escape the police—"
"Police?"
"Uh huh," she said with a grin. "Tokyo PD, Cataclysm Division. We managed to escape through the railway system, but halfway to Osaka Shimo got hungry. There was this unfortunate punk who ran away from his secret ninja village, Konoha. It means 'Village Hidden in the leaves', or something. Said he wanted to be in show business.
"Anyway, he got on Shimo's bad side—"
"So that's what he meant…" Jack trailed off, shivering.
"Yep. Trust me, man; what you saw before? That was only Shimo mildly upset. You wouldn't like her when she's angry."
He gulped, looking to the side. FD continued.
"But, you know, being her undead minion, Sasuke came to worship the ground Shimo walked on, as did Tsume after she saved his ass from this drunk with a shotgun.
"We ended up in this kareoke bar, 'Swan Song'. I had too much sake, and last thing I remember, Sasuke and Tsume were doing a duet of 'Build Me Up Buttercup', and Shimo and Kurt were arguing over how to bring democracy to Cuba. When I woke up, she was complaining about how the Cuban brochure hadn't said anything about that 'big wall thingy'! So I hit her with a paper fan."
FD nodded matter of factly to make her point, and Jack looked at the shewolf with a new appreciation. Then something crossed his mind.
"How could she mistake China for Cuba?", he asked incredulously.
FD shrugged. "She was close; both start with 'C', both are communist…it's an honest mistake, really. I told you, she has a terrible sense of direction. Well," she said, "Good night!" And with that, she plopped down on her own bed and shut her eyes.
Jack took in the story slowly, realizing he could probably never get away if he ran, and shrugged off his trenchcoat. It was going to be a long night.
Jack moaned slightly, savoring the campfire smell as he nuzzled deeper into the soft, thick, curly hair in front of his face. For a moment, all was peaceful and he slipped his arms around the person in bed next to him, then, remembering the events of the previous night, he shot out of bed like a rocket, screaming like a little girl.
He moved quietly away from the bed and to the door, trying not to wake the sleeping ookami for fear of becoming a chew toy. He walked down the creaking stairs to the main floor, unlocking the front door and stepping outside into the daylight.
The sun was just coming up, so it had to be around early morning, probably around five. Feeling in the mood for a short walk, Jack stepped out towards the road. About five paces away from the building, that little BAMF! was heard accompanied by the grey smoke and sulfur smell.
Screaming like a little girl for the second time that morning, he fell backwards onto the ground. He glared up at the smiling blue creature thingy.
"Vere are you goink?" he asked the frightened boy, cocking an eyebrow.
Jack hurriedly picked himself up. "Just for a walk. I was gonna be back real quick."
Kurt grinned at him. "Sure you vere. Come on; let's go beck."
The Goth sighed, knowing it was definitely not his lucky day. Not having much else to do, he asked little boy blue a question.
"What kind of sound effect is 'bamf' anyway?"
Kurt grinned once more. "Eet eez an acronym. Eet stands foh 'Bad Ass Mozer Fucker'."
Seemingly out of nowhere, a rolled up newspaper came hurling at the blue boy and smacked him painfully in the head. He grabbed his throbbing head and fell to the ground in a heap.
"Kurt! I told you to watch your fucking language!"
"Ahen't ve a hypocrite?" he muttered to himself, forgetting about the enhanced hearing of vampires.
"You wanna say that to my face?"
Jack's eye twitched. After a few seconds, he burst out laughing, doubling over painfully at the intensity of the humor before him.
"CLASSIC!" he screamed. "THAT WAS A CLASSIC!"
FD stumbled out onto her balcony, blissfully unaware that she was in her underwear. Jack blushed darkly on the verge of a nosebleed as his roommate rubbed her eyes. She seemed half-asleep still, but suddenly she bellowed out loud.
"SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"
The others were knocked back by the sheer volume, and she headed back inside. Kurt gave Jack a sly look.
"Vink vink, nudge nudge, say no more; eh, Spicer?"
The Goth blushed a shade of red hitherto unknown on this planet. "LIES! VICIOUS LIES!" Jack then proceeded to run around like a chicken with its head cut off.
"Get a hold of yourself Spicer!" Shimo said. Her head turned to the left sharply, somewhat preoccupied by the chicken-boy below to notice a small box falling from the sky. Still a little groggy from her sleep, she didn't have the reaction time to get out of the way, and the box hit her square in the head.
She went black for a few seconds and lost her balance, falling over the railing of the balcony. Kurt teleported to catch the falling kyuuketsuki and pulled her close to him.
"Shimo? You alright?"
She didn't answer.
Flying high above them on a dragon, a Brazilian boy complained to himself that he missed.
(1) Jawohl, pronounced " ya- VOLL", is German for "yes"
Shimo: Brazil boy's gonna get it. Reviews for this chappie would be nice. Now, here's FD with her Mega FD-thingy…
FD: (psychotic grin) That's right, folks! 25 Mega FD points to the reviewer who can name the stand-up comic the BAMF thing was in reference to. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tie Jack to the bed so he won't run away. Tralala!
Shimo: Have fun!
Jack: HELLLLLLP!
Shimo: Excuse me too, I'm not gonna miss this for the world! Muwhahahahahahahaha
FD: (in the distance) Shush, would you? Don't make me get the duct tape…