Day 3: August 3rd-Combat (Ardat-Yakshi Monastery)
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Everything hurts, but it's not his first migraine and so he does his best not to let his pain show. This is important, we have to help, have to save, have to fix, can collapse later.
"Everything alright?" Liara's voice is soft, cautious, lest the enemies hear. It takes a moment for Kaidan to understand she's talking to him, but he gives her a thumb up, fearing his voice will give him away, and what a nod might to do his head.
It feels like it might explode; pain shooting through every vein, and not even killing the newest Reapers help, because there are more, always more further in and Kaidan can no longer know for sure if it's his implants, the screeches of the Banshees or both.
His world is red hot searing pain, but he can get through this too, has survived migraines almost this bad before. He can't fail now, the second human Spectre.
"Kaidan?" Shepard's voice this time, the man himself appearing in front of Kaidan, a worrying look on his face.
"I'll be fine. We have to help Samara and her daughter."
"You don't sound fine to me though. The banshees giving you trouble?"
"I said I'm fine," Kaidan says through gritted teeth.
He doesn't miss the look passing between Shepard and Liara, but he's in no condition to start an argument, especially because another screech pierces the air as two more banshees appear amidst a group of other Reapers.
Kaidan doesn't hesitate a second, leaping from cover to cover as he alternates between using his powers and weapon, the other two just behind him.
He focuses mostly on the screeching, using the pain and annoyance as fuel for taking them down as quickly as he can, gritting his teeth all the while.
Moving on through the rooms and down stairs gets harder and harder as they advance through the monastery, even as he knows that each step brings them closer to ending the mission.
So many of them, though, too many, and there is no comfort in seeing the blood of the twisted creatures splatter the walls and floors and columns and plants, because there seems to be no end to them.
Kaidan has never wanted to blow a place apart as much as he wants to with this place; not only because of the horrors tormenting him, but because of the horrors that have taken place here.
He wants the place to disappear, not leave any trace but they're letting it stand, because that is the only way Samara's only living daughter can still live, without either her or her mother having to take their life.
And then his world turns black with the streaks of red hot pain subsiding until he wakes up in the med bay, Shepard at his side, holding his hand so hard it almost distracts from the pain in his head, but not quite.
"Hey you," Shepard says gently when he sees Kaidan's opened his eyes.
"What happened?"
"We were talking with Samara and then you fainted, screaming as you fell. You had me so worried; I didn't know what to do! Please don't ever do that again!"
"You know I can't promise that, not with these implants."
"Banshees?"
"Yeah."
Shepard looks at him and thankfully Kaidan can't see any pity in his eyes. Those who know of the L2 implants usually looks at him with pity, but Kaidan hates that; it makes him feel like they look at him and see a weak person who they have to be careful around.
But Shepard, Shepard knows how it is, how to show Kaidan he doesn't think he's weak or any less able than any other person with biotic powers.
"Then why didn't you say something? At least when we asked you if you were okay?"
"Didn't want to compromise the mission."
"Kaidan…"
"Shepard, it means something to be the second human Spectre, to prove I'm just as capable and tough as anyone else out there."
"It doesn't mean risking your life or health or sanity over it. Or mine, were something to happen to you. I'm not speaking only as your commander, but your friend and lover. If it bothers you again, you tell me, and then we decide how to proceed. We're in this together, Kaidan."
"Okay. Thanks Shepard."