THINGS HARRY POTTER CHARACTERS WOULD NEVER SAY
Dec 31, 2006
Harry: I feel like dancing! dances
Voldemort: Let me join! dances with Harry
Voldemort: Harry?
Harry: Yes, Voldy?
Voldemort: Let's forget our differences and become friends?
Harry: Well I guess-
Voldemort: GREAT! stops dancing and a Teen Magazine magically appears in his hands Ok so I was like thinking, we could have like a sleepover, then like do our nails, and like what do you think about changing my hair color?
Harry: Um...I'd say blonde, you'd make a remarkable blonde!
Voldemort: Like why thank you Harry. blushes; both dance again
(This happens when the Dursley's find little baby Harry on their doorstep).
Vernon:opens door at one-o-clock in the morning Who wud be ringing our bell at this bloody time, Petunia?
Petunia:looks down to see sleeping baby Harry Wat in the name of Cousin George's trousers is that?
Vernon:bends down and looks at babySeems 2 b a baby, Petunia and wow...look at that scar...
Petunia: whoa...that must have hurt...
Harry: Professor Snape, why do you hate me soooo much?
Snape: Well...I...uh...
Harry: Is it because of my father?
Snape: No...it was your mother...
Harry: My mother? What did she do?
Snape: sniffs She told me she'd go to the seventh year ball with me and then she ditched me...sniffs
Harry:comforts Snape with a hug There, there, Snape. I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding.
Snape: WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! blows nose into tissue
(Ron walks in to find Neville lightly touching his lips to poster of the horse who played Seabiscut)
Neville: Uh...I can explain.
Harry: Voldemort's back!
Ron: Oh no!
Hermione: Oh no!
Dumbledore: Oh no!
Kool Aid guy: OH YEAH!
all turn to stare at Kool Aid guy, who slowly backs out of the room
Mr. Weasley: ...And thats y Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban. 2 find u.
Harry: ...And kill me.
Mr. Weasley: Pretty much, yeah. Sucks to be u, man.
Harry: Hermione?
Hermione: Yeah?
Harry: Before...down by the lake when I was with Sirius...
Hermione: WOAH, Harry, I do NOT need to know about that
Remus embraced Sirius like a brother.
Sirius: Remus get your hand off my arse!
Vernon: How's my favorite son doing today?
Harry: Great, dad! Lets go play catch!
Fred to George: Dude, do you HAVE to follow me EVERYWHERE?!"
Ron "You pluck your eyebrows don't you."
Harry "No, they've just receeded since the last film last all, it's perfectly normal..."
Ron "Hermione did it didn't she."
Harry "er...yeah
after casting a curse, Draco looks down to find one of his nails has broken
Draco: Oh that's just fking great.
(Hospital wing in PoA when Ron shows Harry his broom is broken.)
Harry: How do I play quidditch now?
Fred: Here mate.
Fred hands Harry a can
Harry: What's this?
George: Red Bull. It gives you wings
(AFTER THEY GET OUT OF WHOMPING WILLOW)
Sirius: So, Harry. I don't know if you knew this, but I'm your Godfather.
Harry: Yer, I knew.
Sirius: Oh, and when my name gets cleared, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to live with me?
Harry: AND LEAVE MY AUNT AND UNCLE? ARE YOU TOTALLY INSANE!?
Sirius: I just-
Harry: MISS MY BATHS WITH DUDLEY? MY LONG TALKS ABOUT MANHOOD WITH UNCLE VERNON? AND COOKING CAKES WITH AUNT PETUNIA?
Sirius: Oh, Harry, I never knew-
Harry: UR SICK. Totally sick... Bastard...