-II-
Johanna's life had been so very glorious in the first months of her freedom that it was no wonder, in the depths of a new hardship, she reminisced on these happy times. When she and her friend Anthony had departed the city of London, dear Anthony was keen on showing his female companion the world. Locked away in her solitude Johanna had dreamt of traveling to distant places, but never in her wildest dreams did she think she would ever have the chance. Now, with her former guardian gone, there was so much she wanted to see.
The ship was spectacular, and the beauty that accompanied sailing across the open ocean took her breath away. She was so enthralled by the experience that nothing fazed her. Even the storms that terrorized them from London to France did little to stoke her desire for adventure. During the voyage, she found herself beginning to better understand her lighthearted companion. He was so admirably optimistic, and even after all that had occurred in the blackness of Fleet Street, the young man seemed to shrug it off effortlessly. Johanna, on the other hand, could not relinquish her memories so easily.
Johanna sighed as she considered all that had happened in little over seven months. More had occurred in those months than her entire sixteen years of living under the Judge's power. Johanna watched the rain patter against the glass as she gazed out the window. Although her surroundings were new, she saw little difference between Paris and London. Both were industrialized with large smokestacks and cobblestones. Coaches progressed up and down the street, as did busy civilians. It reminded her too much of her old home, as well as her former situation.
For a month now, Anthony and Toby had been gone to sea. Johanna could remember the exchange well. Anthony was a simple sailor, and therefore hadn't the means to support her. It was not only that, but he wanted to show her the world. All that travelling cost money; money that Anthony did not have. Upon their arrival in Paris, Anthony rented an apartment for the three of them with the remainder of his earnings. They still had money for food, however limited, but Johanna was nothing but grateful. She appreciated every moment she could spend with Anthony, as well as with dear Toby.
Toby had been a natural sailor, and though he did not bother Anthony it was very obvious that he wished to return to the sea. Anthony told him that he could take his own employment on a ship if he wished, but the boy was adamant about remaining by their side.
Although Anthony was the first young man Johanna had ever met, she felt a connection with him that she knew could never be broken. Something inside both of them seemed to belong together, and it kindled an eternal friendship. Johanna could not say for sure if she was in love with Anthony, although she loved him very dearly as a friend. She hadn't been sure if that feeling had the capacity to deepen or not. Her hesitation was short-lived.
A few months after living in the quaint apartment overlooking the docks, Anthony had proposed. Johanna grinned warmly at the memory. He'd been so flustered. The two of them were taking a pleasant walk about the park. Toby had travelled to the market to purchase the cheapest groceries for their supper. She remembered the weather was far more agreeable then the smothering fog in England. They had previously been chatting about Greece, and how enchanting it would be if the two of them could visit. After the conversation the two walked side-by-side in comfortable silence. Suddenly, Anthony took Johanna's arm gently and led her off the path. They strolled through the grass, but Anthony said nothing and Johanna did not question. She knew where they were heading. When they first explored the beautiful park Johanna had spied a most enchanting fountain off the beaten track. It was concealed behind some fur trees, and by the signs of neglect it had probably been forgotten. It was not the prettiest fountain in the grove, but it was Johanna's favorite. She and Anthony had spent many hours discussing where they wished to go in the future.
The conversation would end when Johanna would name a spectacular place, like Venice, for instance, and Anthony would clap his hands together and say, "Venice! It'll be our first destination."
This declaration would be followed by Johanna's amused laughter and the two of them would stroll home. When the two of them were on route to that special fountain, Johanna had no reason to suspect anything unusual. Therefore, when Anthony dropped to one knee just before the fountain Johanna felt as though she'd been turned to stone. Anthony said nothing at first. He simply looked up at her from his knees with his sparkling young eyes. Johanna could hardly breathe. Finally, the young man spoke.
"I fell in love with your beauty the first time I saw you, Johanna, and in these last months that I've gotten to know you that love has transformed into the deepest of affections. I cannot expect you to feel the same way, considering you have only just begun to live in freedom. However, even if you do not share similar affections, please let me stay with you. Even if we never marry I want to protect you always."
A tear trickled down Johanna's smiling face. She had never really focused on her feelings for Anthony, but as she did, only one emotion came to her. It was happiness, and it was all consuming. She took Anthony's hand in hers.
"I owe my freedom to you, Anthony. I would never have begun to live if not for you. However, I do not say these words because I feel I am obligated. You were my first sunshine. I love you, and I want to be with you."
Anthony kissed her hand softly, and then rose to his feet. No other words were spoken. They held each other warmly for many moments, and Johanna never wanted it to end.
He had not asked her to marry him, but Johanna regarded Anthony as her betrothed nonetheless. She loved him so very much that their relationship could only result in eventual marriage. Now, when Johanna thought about Anthony she could only feel apprehension. The trouble began when it became more and more difficult to pay the rent. Anthony was determined to earn enough they could travel, and therefore he beseeched a friend of his late father. This man's name was Lord Tarleton, and he was a very wealthy gentleman. Johanna remembered the first time she'd seen him. He was a thick-set, serious sort of man, but his behavior fit a gentleman of his standing. His face was clean-shaven, and his black hair was pulled away from his face. At full length, Johanna guessed it reached just past his shoulders. Something about him frightened her, and when she was first introduced something in him reminded her of her father.
However, Lord Tarleton held none of the despair within his eyes that Johanna had seen in her father's. Although Lord Tarleton was dark and brooding, he also seemed rather devious. Of course, Johanna had no reason to believe such a foolish notion, therefore she dismissed it. If she could guess an age, she thought he was about late-forties. He was far too dull featured to be dashing, and yet he possessed a very upper-class air about him.
Johanna was unsure as to why Anthony chose this particular gentleman to call upon. He didn't seem like the generous sort. However, Anthony explained later that his father had saved Lord Tarleton's life. Anthony's father was a sailor also, and he braved great peril to foul an assassin's attempt on the unaware Tarleton's life. The would-be killer was executed the next day, and neither Anthony nor his father knew the reason behind the attack. It was because of this debt that Anthony implored the Lord's help. It didn't take long for the arrangement to be made, and soon after Anthony explained everything to her.
"Johanna, I'm so very sorry for what I must tell you, and moreover what I must do. I have promised you that we would travel the world, but I don't even have enough to support you. All I know is the trade of a sailor, and that is how I must earn my wage. Lord Tarleton has agreed to help me, and he will offer you the support you require until I return."
Johanna felt an instant dread seep within her. However, she refused to show her desperation. She took a careful breath. "I see. And how long until your expected return?"
Anthony's face fell, and Johanna supposed her cold response had been worse than if she'd begged him to stay. Johanna remained unwavering before him. He exhaled sharply.
"Eight months. Ten, at the most. I know how awful a man I am to leave you here, but you are not residing with strangers. Lord Tarleton is my father's oldest friend, and he cannot afford to soil his reputation. He also has plenty of servants under his employment, and those I've spoken to have been very friendly."
"I'm not concerned about that Anthony. I've lived alone for such a long while I really do not mind. It is you I care about. I don't want you working so hard just to fulfill my dreams. I will be content only if this is what you really desire to do."
Anthony smiled, and touched her cheek tenderly. "I am a sailor. It is all I've ever known, and I've never thought any other but the sea my home. However, priorities change when you fall in love."
The two embraced, and Johanna rested her chin on his shoulder. "Promise you'll come back to me."
"I will think only of you. And I will return with the means to fulfilling your brightest dreams in my hands."
Johanna wanted to tell him that he was her brightest dream, and as long as she had him she'd be happy. However, she knew the young man was determined. It would only make his departure more difficult if she argued. She stepped away, forcing a smile onto her lips.
"Then go. The sooner you depart, the sooner you will return. I'll be waiting for you."
As Johanna continued to stare out the window, she felt a warm tear trickle against her cheek. She remembered the exchange perfectly, for she had run it through her mind so many times since the departure. She wished she could go back to that moment and beg Anthony to stay, or take her with him, or…anything. She hated being trapped with so many people she did not know, in a city that was beautiful but unfamiliar. Although she'd been alone for so many years, after experiencing such companionship and than losing it, she didn't think she could stand being lonely again.
Even Toby was gone. He had spoken to her while Anthony was readying to depart for sea, telling her that he would stay by her side. He was thirteen years old, but he possessed the bravery of a man twice his age. Johanna forced back her own selfish needs and implored the boy to go with Anthony. She could see how much he desired to return to sea, and she could not be the one to deprive him of that.
"You are certain you'll be alright, mum?" Toby had asked.
"I will be fine Toby." Johanna returned as she took his hands in hers. "I want you to watch over Anthony, since I cannot."
"I'll be sure to, Miss Johanna."
Then Johanna hugged the sweet boy to her. "I hope you will both return safely."
"Don't worry, mum. We'll return with more gold than you would be able to count."
Johanna had forced a smile at this, but she did not want gold. Yes, she wanted to travel, and she did fancy eating, but surely there could be something else that could be done to earn it.
As Johanna pondered she heard a pounding at her door. She jolted in surprise, but composed herself before calling out for the caller to enter. It was one of the Lord's maids.
"Pardon ma'am. His lordship wishes for you to come downstairs to supper. Please dress appropriately, as it is a party with many of his investors. He said he wishes for you to be his dinner companion."
Johanna growled. She had no desire to parade about as the man's fresh young partner, and she most definitely was not comfortable being under the eyes of so many elder gentlemen. At least with the Judge, she had been kept for his eyes alone, and spared constant public embarrassment. However, Johanna obediently nodded.
"Inform him I shall be down at once."
The maid bowed and exited. Johanna did not move at first, instead gazing out the window at the remarkable French sunset. She had dreamed of Paris for so long, and yet this portion of the city was not very appealing to her. She tried to imagine wandering through fields of grass underneath a gigantic blue sky. She tried to feel the grass under her bare feet and the wind against her face. How glorious it would be to be free to do whatever she wished. Instead, she was trapped here just as she'd been trapped in the Judge's manor, relying on the support of a stranger. Despite this depressing outlook, Johanna fought to be positive. As soon as Anthony and Toby returned they would travel the world, and they would be at the mercy of no one. Johanna only hoped she could wait that long.