Chapter 3

Matthew crept quickly and quietly towards the door and stopped when Mary looked up and spotted him. She saw him and immediately wiped her tears away. She stood up and tried to plaster a smile on her face. That's when he noticed a cut on the side of her face. He thought Oh Mary…

"Mr Crawley" she said.

"I saw, do not pretend for me" said Matthew.

Mary grimaced and sank back down onto the bed. She looked down at her feet.

"Why does he do that? How have you displeased him so that he feels the need to hurt you so? " said Matthew, at a loss how a man could harm his wife like that.

"He regrets marrying me. He wanted a dutiful wife, to take care of his children and smile at his guests. I do not fulfil that role which is ironic because I married him out of duty" said Mary.

"Forgive me for being forward, but why did you have to marry him?" said Matthew.

"My father is the Earl of Grantham, but he made a bad investment and he was almost ruined. When I marry, I receive the money set aside for me in a trust. It was enough to prevent them from ruin and Sir Richard was so very eager to marry an aristocrat. I did not know him so well when we married but it seemed a price worth paying for my family and Sir Richard seemed to care for me. My family, I do love them all so dearly and my little sisters – even Edith, deserve more which I could give them. Besides, I was unsure I would receive a better offer and there was not much time. I once said that 40 years of boredom and duty wasn't possible for me but I had little choice. I would even go as far as to say I deserved it" explained Mary, not looking at him.

Matthew walked over and sat next to her.

"I…I do not know what to say" said Matthew.

"There is nothing to say. There is no escape from this. It is as they say, I made my bed and now I must lie in it." said Mary, resolutely.

"You must know that you deserve more than this. Whatever you feel you have done, it cannot be enough to merit this." said Matthew as he looked deep into her eyes as though to make her see sense.

Mary smiled bitterly. "Oh how I wish that to be true. Please let us speak no more on this. You must see, Mr Crawley, this is it for me." She wiped another tear of her face.

"Let me at least help you clean that wound. My mother is a nurse and I have watched her clean wounds like this many times."

Mary turned to him. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I just want to help."

Mary searched his eyes and then simply said "I keep some things for these occasions in that drawer." She pointed.

Matthew felt a wave of despair at the tragedy as he walked over to the dresser and found what he needed. He disinfected the cut with gentle strokes and wished he could tell her how he wished to take her away from all this. He had fallen for her so fast.

"Thank you" Mary spoke. "Truly. It is nice to be able to say it aloud, instead of pretending."

"Your family, do you see them a lot?" asked Matthew

"No, well rarely. In all honesty, I think if I saw them too much they would see that I am unhappy. When I visit, I can pretend that everything is as it was, and I relish those moments." She smiled sadly.

…

One morning at breakfast Mary joined them. He could see all her injuries, not yet healed, under the layer of makeup which she had clearly applied but he made no comment. Every night he could hear her crying but he could not go to her. Carlisle did not leave her alone like he had that night Matthew had cleaned that cut. Matthew had listened in a few times and Carlisle stayed with Mary whispering words of hate which only deepened her cries and Matthew's despair. That morning, Mary had her mask back on and she sat looking like none of the events of the previous nights had occurred.

"I trust you slept well Mr Crawley." Said Mary.

Why did she insist on calling him Mr Crawley?

"I did. I hope you did too?" he asked.

"Yes thank you. Richard, dear" Mary said the "dear" which sarcasm. "I will be out all morning and I think I shall take luncheon with my mama"

"How nice" said Richard who patted her hand which Mary immediately pulled away.

"I shall be back for our outing this afternoon." Matthew looked confused.

"The boat ride and the picnic" she clarified.

"Oh yes" said Matthew. "Will the children come?"

"I do believe so" said Mary, with false brightness.

"Lovely" said Matthew.

….

Richard did not join them on the boat trip citing work as an excuse. Matthew did not care either way, glad to have some time away from him.

They sat opposite one another in the boat. She looked down at her feet but Matthew could not resist watching her. Then her eyes crept up to meet his and the exchanged a deep look which was only broken when Louisa spoke. Later, when he was sure no one was watching, Matthew put his hand on Mary's and gave it a quick squeeze. Her eyes darted to his, almost alarmed and she moved slightly further away. Mary spent the rest of the journey to the picnic site trying not to look at Matthew and pushing away the wish that he would hold her.

The picnic was delightfully tasty. There was an array of different sandwiches and cakes and a light white wine. Still, Matthew found himself distracted by Mary. She played the perfect hostess and laughed even at the least funny jokes. Her self-control amazed him and she seemed so much more at ease without the presence of Richard.

"Lady Carlisle, I am afraid there is a problem with one of the boats so I am afraid I cannot take you all" said the Boat man.

Matthew cut in "Well, Lady Carlisle and I do not mind waiting. Please take the others first and we will remain here until you return."

"That does sound like a good plan. The weather is taking a turn for the worse and I would hate for any of you to be out in the rain" said Mary.

"Your concern does you credit Lady Carlisle" said Mr Salway. "Come everyone, the quicker we get on the boat the quicker Lady Carlisle and Mr Crawley can be transported back."

….

'Alone at last' thought Matthew. They sat in silence for a few moments before all of a sudden, Matthew leant over and kissed Mary. He pulled back for a moment before Mary restarted the kiss.

Matthew felt like he was on fire, he had thought of this from almost the moment he arrived and in that one kiss he tried to put all the things he had been unable to say.

Mary was thinking about how nice it was to not have to force herself to not flinch away. How nice it was to be kissed by someone who loved her. Loved her? At least she thought Matthew loved her, there was something in his eye when he looked at her, and she felt it in this kiss. She had never thought she could feel this, she had already written herself off. She had only been kissed by two people previously, and neither made her feel like Matthew did now.

Mary leant over and whispered into Matthew's ear.

"When we get back to the house, follow me. But at a distance. No one must know."

A/N Please review! Im so grateful for all reviews and follows :)