Season 1 Christmas 2003

Tuesday 23rd December 2003...

"Okay, so what would Gibbs do?"

The throw away comment curled Gibbs' lip enough to form what could almost pass itself off as a smile, but he and Kate continued to view the tape without comment. They watched Tony pace up and down the dimly lit windowless room, feeling the walls searching for a way out. It was clear he didn't know he was being filmed, not just because his gaze never once connected with the camera, but if Tony knew anyone was watching him, he would have made certain to hide the desperate and vulnerable look plastered all over his face. The camera angle was high, but not obscured. It wouldn't take him long to figure it out, but by then it would be too late. It was a look Gibbs had seen only a handful of times before, one that said he was scared out of his mind and had absolutely no idea how to get out of whatever trouble he'd gotten into.

Sure enough, as Tony searched the room he got closer and closer to the lens until he was eventually staring directly back at them, a look of pure desolation filling the bullpen's plasma screen. They'd visited enough crimes scenes together, caught plenty of kidnappers and murders to know a filmed hostage in a locked room indicated the worst kind of trouble. Looking into very sad green eyes as the presence of the camera and its meaning registered with said hostage Gibbs itched to move, to provide the back-up Tony already knew by now wasn't coming, to do something other than stand by and watch what traumatic event was to come next.

Like synchronicity, if he believed in such a thing, the door in the background swung suddenly open, hitting the wall behind it with enough force to send dust flying around the room, flooding the screen with bright unnatural light. Tony spun around to face it and just like Gibbs had trained him, he stepped cautiously forward, his hand instinctively going to his belt where his gun should be. But instead of making for the perceived exit Tony clumsily retreated and grabbed the camera. Dislodging it from the wall must have done something to the sound, because the tape they were viewing suddenly became a silent movie. Tony's face filled the screen and looking directly into the lens he spoke a few words before dropping the camera. It hit the floor, affording them a view of not one, but two pairs of boots.

The feed winked out, turning their screen to static snow. Gibbs turned away from the screen to stare at the real snow falling outside the squad room windows. Looking up he saw the skylight was almost completely covered over in frosty whiteness and it made him chuckle. Tony once told him he'd put together a 'snowed in survival kit' in case it broke the glass and they got buried alive. Gibbs had subsequently told him if that happened he wouldn't need the survival kit since he'd most likely be impaled by a falling shard, because that was just his luck. Being kidnapped a week before Christmas was also just his luck and Gibbs sighed at the thought, forcing his mind back to the logistics of the case.

According to the timestamp on the bottom left hand corner of the screen the little film they'd just watched had been recorded last Saturday. It was now Wednesday. Yet, despite knowing the crap odds of finding Tony alive after being missing four days Gibbs still held onto the idea that Tony was a survivor. If ever there was an agent to go against statics it was DiNozzo. His making it as an Agent was proof of that. Giving the blank screen one last look he turned his back on the plasma and stomped over to his desk uttering nothing more than a mild curse under his breath.

His restraint wasn't thanks to his superb skill of keeping calm in a crisis. He was actually rarely calm, crisis or otherwise. Generally he had two moods when he was working a case – pissed off and goddamn livid. Calm only came when their case was over and he was at home, in his basement, working on his boat with the knowledge that all his team were safe and sound in their beds. No tonight his stoicism had nothing to do with being calm. Tony hadn't slept in his own bed for days and after the initial shock, worry and yes even panic for his wellbeing, Gibbs had shut down completely. It was that or he went off the deep end, because there was no way he was going to acknowledge even the slightest chance that he wouldn't ever see Tony again.

Dropping into his chair with a frustrated growl Gibbs forced himself to think of something new they could do to find him. His desk was covered in reports of possible sightings, none of which had led anywhere, and right now they were just as clueless about Tony's whereabouts as they were two days ago upon first discovering him missing. Running a hand through his hair Gibbs checked on the Missing Person's Bolo they'd issued and sent to every police precinct from here to New York. Efforts had so far been focused on the East Coast because they'd believed his father, or one of his less than reputable associates, may be involved. That was no longer a line of official inquiry since DiNozzo Sr was out of the country, but personally Gibbs hadn't totally discounted the possibility. They hadn't informed him about Tony's missing status yet, only made some discreet enquires. Gibbs was Tony's next of kin so he was under no obligation to tell his father, and besides, what little dealings he'd had with the man suggested he wouldn't give a damn about Tony anyway, so he didn't see the point in wasting valuable minutes making the phone call.

Thinking about valuable minutes wasted, up until receiving that video in the mail today they hadn't any evidence to suggest Tony had been abducted. When Gibbs first raised the alarm after he failed to show for work Monday morning and wasn't answering his cell or at his apartment the Director had tried to suggest that DiNozzo had simply met a girl and slept in. Gibbs had held firm with Morrow that though Tony was known for his one night stands, outside of injury he'd never missed a day's work since starting at NCIS and insisted that wherever Tony was, he was in trouble. DiNozzo wouldn't let them - let him - worry like this. For as much as he played the oblivious fool and as often as Gibbs pretended not to give a damn they did have a basic understanding of each other's feelings, even if they hadn't acknowledged them to each other yet. Tony was the reason rule #3 existed after all.

He picked up a copy of the missing poster Abby had printed and they'd circulated after all their theories of this being personal hadn't pan out. He stared long and hard at the photo, a candid shot of Tony smiling, taken at last year's Agency Christmas party. They'd purposefully not used his ID, not wanting to advertise him as a Federal Agent on the off chance his disappearance had nothing to do with NCIS. Then his eyes targeted the very last line 'Tony, please get in touch, your family want to know you are safe.' It was a standard line on missing person's poster, but seeing it, knowing the tape arrived just a day after releasing the poster to the media, made Gibbs' heart constrict. The tape was a message. One Gibbs wouldn't forget in a long, long time.

Sitting back in his chair it didn't matter how long he stared at Tony's photo, nothing new came to mind and all he achieved by glaring at the smiling face was an ache inside his chest so deep it gave the Grand Canyon a run for its money. He was definitely feeling disconcerted and, sadly enough, this wasn't new territory for him either. It was becoming par for the course since Anthony DiNozzo Jr had joined his team. WheneverTony got in a mess Gibbs always experienced some level of anxiety, despite knowing he could take care of himself, on the job at least. Off the job was a different story, one he didn't want his head to get into right now, for he feared the two had merged this time and if that was the case DiNozzo was in a lot more trouble than Gibbs was prepared to face.

"Leads?" Gibbs barked into the ever increasing silence, despite it being only him and Kate in the bullpen.

He looked up to find her still stood by the plasma, looking across at him eyes soft, offering sympathy. "We will find him Gibbs."

He wanted to yell at her, tell her to stop profiling him and get on with her job of catching the bad guys, but Kate said it with such conviction Gibbs had to question who she was actually trying to convince. Looking closer, noting the dark rings around her eyes and the extra creases in her forehead, he could see she was on the verge of a breakdown too and was offering them both a lifeline they sorely needed.

"Yeah," he nodded, taking a moment to breathe, to pull himself together. Lifting heavy lids, raising his eyes to meet Kate's and speaking earnestly, he asked "so why do I feel like I'm not doing enough?"

He could see mirrored in her gaze the fear that this time they may lose him and that neither of them had a clue how to feel about that. It was one of the most open moments he'd ever had with a junior agent. Keeping the contact he communicated his own distress in one long look and for once didn't feel at all ashamed for it.

Any other agent might have been uncomfortable and turned away, but not Kate. His relationship with her was different than with Tony or Abby, with them he was always in control, the patriarch who was strong and reliable. They looked up to him, Tony especially, and trusted him with some of the most personal details of their lives. If Tony was ever in trouble Gibbs knew he would come to him in a heartbeat. That was how he knew that whoever had Tony now, this had come out of the blue, because if he'd been in trouble or was being threaten Gibbs would have known already. Kate was different because despite a vast difference in experience between them she saw herself as his equal, often in detriment to DiNozzo who acted like an eager to please puppy at times. But although he didn't always agree with her methods or appreciate her often condescending interpersonal skills, she had the drive to become a successful investigator one day. What he needed to ensure was that she didn't end up like another ex-Probie of his, one who made a few too many sacrifices, not to save a life or do the right thing, but to forward her own career and climb the promotional ladder.

"Gibbs?" another female voice called from the side-lines, breaking the moment of joint quiet contemplation.

He and Kate turned in unison, both recognising the voice and both just as surprised by the quiver they heard in it. Gibbs' anger, which had been well buried until now, ebbed up a notch upon setting eyes on the woman whom had caused a ripple of discontent through his team since crossing paths with her a few months ago.

"Agent Cassidy," Kate answered cordially when he remained purposefully silent.

"I want to help," she said steadily, the quiver now under control. "I heard about Tony and-"

"What do you mean you heard? What did you hear?" Gibbs snapped at her, standing and sending his chair flying into the divide behind him with an audible thud.

He was pissed rumours about Tony where still circling NCIS, like he was the hot topic of gossip to be talked about this week and forgotten the next. Cassidy was supposed to be Agent Afloat for Christ sake, there was no reason for her to have heard anything!

"He's been missing four days Gibbs, his picture is all over the news," Cassidy took a step closer to them, pointing at the monitors scrolling the request for information on a missing man in his thirties from D.C, amongst other news of course. "I can help…please."

"We could use the help Gibbs." Kate interjected soberly, no doubt reading the wild look in his eyes that said he was spoiling for a fight, one he could actually win and Cassidy had just offered herself to him like a lamb to the slaughter.

He stared at the pair of them, Cassidy averted her gaze, but Kate… she stood there, looking simultaneously sympathetic and determinedly pissed off, a paused image of Tony with sad resigned eyes behind her on the big screen. It was moments like this that Kate reminded him of the dutiful wife, one who kept all her personal feelings buried deep and put on airs for appearances sake, or more likely in this case; the greater good. It was an unfair analogy, Kate was far more than simply dutiful, but that was how she often seemed. As far as Cassidy was concerned, had he been thinking logically he would have seen straight away that having another set of eyes on the case was a good thing, but right in that moment all he saw was the woman who messed with Tony's head, and his heart.

In the end it was the watery quality to her voice when she asked him again to let her help them that made his mind up. Next to crying woman, Gibbs hated begging woman most of all. Their sincerity wasn't to be trusted, maybe too many wives' had made him overly sensitive to manipulation, but, though it pained him, he still couldn't deny the truth of her and Kate's argument. They needed the help – wherever Tony was, he was running out of time.

"Fine," he groused turning his back on her to look at the last image of Tony they had.

"So what have you got so far?" Cassidy asked her tears suddenly forgotten, she didn't go so far as to smile though, good thing too otherwise he'd have definitely kicked her out.

Gibbs looked to Kate who was continuing to tread carefully around him, but since he knew he'd been extremely hard to live with these past few days he let her get away with it and remained silent as he watched her pick up the clicker.

"Tony was officially declared missing when he didn't show up for work on Monday," Kate began, bringing up a timeline of Tony's last movements. "Gibbs last saw him Friday at five when he left NCIS and according to DiNozzo he was going home to get ready for a date. This tape was sent to NCIS today. It's time stamped 04:22am Saturday."

"What's he saying at the end there?" Cassidy asked, taking the clicker off Kate and pausing the screen just before it turned to snow.

"Not your fault." Gibbs sighed with a heavy heart, without looking up from his reading of one of the latest supposed sightings of Tony, this time in Baltimore.

"Excuse me?" Cassidy reared on him, obviously making an assumption about his meaning.

Gibbs growled and threw down the pen he'd been holding, pointing at the screen "Tony! He's saying 'not your fault'"

"What does that mean?"

"Well gee Agent Cassidy I guess that's something we should find out, but I'm betting there's a good chance he's talking to me."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because," Gibbs stood and walked around his desk, snatching the clicker from her and replaying it, "the last word he starts to say before getting cut off"

"Which is?"

"Boss…" Abby answers sullenly from behind them, clutching a folder tightly between both hands.

Giving both women a pointed look Gibbs threw the clicker onto the spare desk opposite him and turned away, taking Abby's arm to stomp off towards the elevators.

.

"When did Gibbs have to the time to learn to read lips?" Cassidy asked into the lingering silence consuming them after his sudden angry departure.

"When does Gibbs have the time to do anything?" Kate threw back with a sigh returning to her desk. "He's always at work. I'd be surprised if he even has a home to go back to."

She was of course referring to the fact that Gibbs was always the last leave, but also always the first to arrive in the mornings and given that the hours they worked were not the most socially friendly she could easily imagine, being the happy in a wooden hut type of guy that he was, he'd see paying rent as a extraneous expense not to be bothered with. The idea made her smile and she held onto it, boxing the feeling away to drag out later when day four of Tony's disappearing act officially closed without a new lead.

Sitting down Kate found a report of a sighting of Tony in Baltimore leaning against her monitor that hadn't been there a minute ago. She assumed Gibbs had left it for her to follow up, so pulled over her phone and began dialling the Baltimore P.D who had forwarded it to them. It took her nearly twenty minutes to get put through to the right department, but it was well worth the wait…

"Gibbs!" Kate jumped up from her desk as he walked in at the exact moment she was hanging up. "They've found Tony's car!"

Gibbs seemed to misstep for a second, but then his smooth stride continued, not drawing attention to the fact the news had surprised him.

"Where?"

"Outside a nightclub east of Chase Street," She smiled giddily, looking down at the notes she'd made.

"Club la Vita," Cassidy said matter of fact.

Gibbs and Kate both looked at her.

"I've been there, Tony too." She shrugged. "It's a good place to fly solo."

Gibbs shook his head, but he was not amused. It was hard enough for him to acknowledge there were similarities between Tony and Cassidy on a normal day, he didn't need it being thrown in his face right now. Maybe that was another reason he didn't like her, she was a player and Tony, despite what he claimed really wasn't. Tony liked safety was all and younger women who weren't after commitment are the safest you can get when a lasting relationship is the last thing on your mind. That didn't make him a player - that made him scared to get hurt again. With Cassidy he had seen from the get go Tony's attraction to her, just like he'd sensed that she was inevitably going to break his heart. It didn't take Kate calling him out on his own behaviour in Guantanamo for Gibbs to recognise he was overstepping his bounds as Tony's boss, but he'd experienced the kind of pain that comes from a relationship destined to end badly and if Gibbs could spare Tony from feeling anything close to that he was willing to do whatever it took, even if it meant taking a more interfering role in Tony's personal life and Tony hating him for it.

Gibbs chuckled lightly to himself. Now he thought about it Ducky was right, Tony really was a lot like him, right down to making the same mistakes with women he had, but despite the many qualities he and DiNozzo shared, the difference was he'd fell in love and settled down at a young age, had a family, whereas DiNozzo had been introduced to sexual relationships in all the wrong ways and never had the parental role models he'd had to be able to form a healthy functioning relationship, let alone sustain one.

"Well I don't think it was part of his date, the girlfriend said they had reservations at Madam Vies for eight but he never showed." Kate went on, mindless of where Gibbs' thoughts had taken him.

"What else did she say?" Cassidy asked and Gibbs thought he detected a note of jealously in her tone.

"That was it, she didn't even know his last name and I doubt very much she could even spell kidnapping," Kate answered, managing a dig at DiNozzo's choice of date even now, though Gibbs suspected it was out of comfort rather than spite.

"So we don't know if he intentionally stood up his date and went to the club instead or if he was taken to Baltimore for another reason."

"But when he left he told Gibbs he was getting ready for his date…"

"So he didn't plan to stand her up. Something must have happened between five and eight last Friday for his plans to have changed, but what?"

Neither Agent had noticed Gibbs had dropped himself out of their conversation and was looking intently at his computer until he rose from his desk and stood behind them, making them jump.

"That Agent Cassidy is what we are trying to find out." He snapped storming off again, grabbing something from the printer before heading for the rear elevators, "Kate!"

"Going to club la Vita Gibbs," Kate said in an excellent impersonation of DiNozzo, she dropped the clicker and without pause dragged Cassidy away with her.

.

"Do you think Tony's okay?" Cassidy asked Kate once they were driving.

"Gibbs would know if he wasn't," Kate repeated what Gibbs had told her earlier in the week when she'd asked the same thing.

She still wasn't convinced Tony wasn't just at the mercy of some crazy girlfriend, though the tape, sent to them anonymously kind of debunked that. In fact the fact that its Baltimore his car ended up in suggested a connection to his days as a detective, someone looking for a bit of revenge maybe? Gibbs probably had Abby running that possibility right now, but reached for her cell phone anyway just in case he hadn't thought about that. She did wonder why he'd stayed behind, if the club was where Tony was last seen then surely he'd want to be there himself to interrogate those present… Kate paused, phone in her hand, finger hovering above the speed-dial. Something didn't sit right. Gibbs would never chose to stay behind if he thought Tony was still in Baltimore, which meant he didn't think much of the lead. She was confident he wouldn't send them on a wild goose chase to waste their time, but clearly he had more of an idea of what was going on than he was letting on, which pissed her off even more and when she discovered the truth she was going to make sure he knew it too.

.

"Duck!" Gibbs charged into autopsy.

"We found him Jethro?" Ducky appeared hopeful, practically jumping out from between autopsy tables to greet him at the door, but his optimistic countenance dissolved upon seeing Gibbs' face. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

Gibbs handed over the print out of an email he'd received, he'd not said anything to Kate and Cassidy because he believed he knew who sent it and if he was right they were not just running out of time to find Tony, he knew there was no way they'd be able to find him on their own.

"Look familiar?"

Ducky took the note hesitantly and read the few words.

"Oh Jethro," he said with the same fear in his voice that Gibbs felt in his heart.

Even he felt like crying at thought of Tony, his Tony, being held captive by the same man who caused so many so much heartache over ten years ago.

"He has him Ducky." Gibbs said simply, barely holding himself together, on the outside at least, inside he was already a mess.

"I thought the FBI said he'd died?"

"Thought he died Duck… we didn't get any more bodies, just means he could have gotten better at hiding them," He snapped, annoyed that he was as guilty as the FBI in being too quick to accept that explanation.

Gibbs took the email back and charged towards the door, only stopping short when Ducky shouted after him.

"Anthony's been missing four days Jethro!"

"I know!" He shouted back, foot stopping short of crossing the threshold into the corridor.

"He only keeps them alive for five."

"I know Duck," Gibbs sighed, turning back around to face the M.E letting the doors shut behind him, "but he also only took college kids last time, he's gone against type."

"To punish you," Ducky cut to the chase of what he believed Gibbs was thinking. "If you're hoping he's changed his MO entirely that is extremely unlikely, you know that."

"I know Tony's still alive," Gibbs told him, knowing how desperate he sounded but not caring. "I know it."

Ducky nodded, clearly not wanting to take his hope away just yet. Though Gibbs could see in his eyes, he had his doubts.

"Have you told Katelyn?"

"Not yet, sent her and Cassidy to follow a lead. Need to do something first." Gibbs quickly set his shoulders and put his stern mask back on.

"Jethro, this isn't your fault." Ducky call after him again as he tried to leave.

"I know that too Duck," He called back, this time walking out of sight into the corridor, "Tony told me…"

.