Remains of the Day

Chapter 3: I Feel Like I'm Fixing To Die

Jack groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. He felt the dirt he lay on and recognized the musty, prison smell. Dammit. He thought. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he began panicking. He couldn't take more from these Iraqi guys. Not yet. His shoulder still ached and he was acutely aware of every muscle in his upper body. That electroshock thing really worked him over.

"Sir?" the voice sounded distance. He furrowed his brow. It was a woman. An American woman. "Colonel, can you hear me?"

Colonel? Slowly the memories fell into place. He was not a Captain in an Iraqi prison. He was just being held by an alien race that could make him believe he was. "Carter?" The whisper pushed its way through his lips before he had time to consciously register her identity. But he knew he was correct.

His eyes slowly opened, and he saw her smile. "Yes, Sir. You had us worried there. You've been out for hours."

Jack nodded slowly. "Guards?"

"Haven't come back yet, Sir."

"Good… that's good." Jack's voice was weak. He hated the vulnerability and helplessness he felt. His team was getting an all-access pass to his darkest moments. He felt somehow… violated. Those were, after all, his memories. And he had the right to keep them buried. Had the right. His mind emphasized the "had". That wasn't his right anymore. These bastards had taken it from him. And he had let them.

"Jack?" This time Daniel spoke. "Do you want to sit up?"

Jack just shook his head. "Muscles… too sore…"

Carter looked at Daniel. She knew from experience that the Tok'Ra memory device allowed the wearer to feel pain. She had felt the torture Jolinar endured very vividly. But she had been able to end it. And the effects hadn't been long lasting. It had been nearly four hours since the guards had left. The Colonel should have been well recovered from any physical effects by now.

"Sir, I'm going to look you over, ok?" She reached down to lift his shirt.

He let his eyes drift shut, but spoke as he felt her warm hands on his stomach. "Say what you want, Carter… but I know you just want a look…at my unbelievable abs."

Sam couldn't help but smile. The sarcasm meant he was still her Colonel. They hadn't broken him. She lifted the shirt and was shocked to see the angry red blotches. It was as if the Colonel had actually been hit with jumper cables.

Daniel's expression was just as shocked. "Ok, Jack, just… just lie still, ok?" Daniel was trying to determine just how bad the physical injuries were.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked, his eyes opening again. He craned to see what they were staring at.

"Jack, just lie back!" Daniel snapped. He was feeling the effects of stress and exhaustion already.

Jack seemed taken aback by his tone, but only for a second. Then he changed tactics. "Carter?"

When she was silent, he knew he had to deploy the big guns. "Major Carter, I order you to tell me what the hell's going on."

Sam sighed. "Sir, I don't know. It looks like the memory caused some physical damage. Your whole abdomen is inflamed. It's like they really shocked you."

"So, what happens in the memory really happens to my body?" Jack asked, suddenly thinking of the infection that his gunshot wound had caused when he was actually captured.

Carter shrugged. "I don't think so, Sir."

"Major? You just said my abdomen is a giant electrical burn." The strength it took just to force out the sentence was pathetic. Jack certainly felt like he had just spent a few hours in Iraq.

Sam nodded. "Yes, Sir. But your shoulder isn't bleeding. There's no gunshot wound. No burns."

Jack glanced at her for a minute, momentarily forgetting that she had seen everything projected on the wall.

He sighed. "I'm sorry…"

"Sir?" Sam asked, confused. Daniel's expression mirrored hers.

"That you had to see that. You shouldn't… ever…" Unconsciousness was pulling at him again.

Same leaned down, getting close to his ear to be sure he heard it. "Sir, none of this is your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."

Jack just mumbled something incoherent as he gave in to exhaustion.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

The guards returned about a half hour later. They seemed less interested in playing games now. Jack was still unconscious, so the leader walked up to him and gave him a hard kick in the ribs. He came to with a harsh coughing fit.

"I am done accepting your resistance, O'Neill. You will tell me where you are from, and you will give me a layout of your people and the weapons they possess. We will raid your home world and learn your true intentions that way.

O'Neill spoke, quietly, but firmly. "You have… a damn piece of technology… that lets you see my memories… why not use it to confirm what I've been telling you… we came to explore…god…" he winced as he clutched his arms around his chest. The pain was building.

The guard scoffed. "There is no fun in that… I want to break you, O'Neill. You are a difficult man. Breaking you would give me great… satisfaction." The guard paused.

Bad guys are always so overdramatic. Jack thought.

"To that end," the guard continued, "We will no longer partake in these little sessions. Rather, I will attach this device to you and increase its intensity. I will be removing you from the caring arms of your friends. You will be one cell over. They will be able to see and hear you, and your memories. But they will be unable to help you."

Carter spoke, trying to disguise the panic in her voice. "Wait!" she failed. "The memory last time… it caused physical harm. His chest…"

The guard understood what she was saying. "Do not fear. It is not permanently harmed. Merely… irritated. The guard reached down and lifted Jack's shirt once more. The red was nearly gone. "It will not kill him."

Sam had to try something else. "Please, leave him in the cell with us."

"I cannot do that. He needs t be fully immersed in his memories if I am to truly break him." The guard gave her an evil smile. Two guards grabbed Jack and dragged him to the cell across the hall. Before throwing him in, the lead guard slapped the disk to his temple, and used his wrist band to adjust the intensity.

Jack fell to the cell floor and immediately started writhing in pain.

He cried out for hours and hours, until he lost his voice. After that, he just made whimpering noises. The wall flashed scenes of torture at the hands of the Iraqis. Carter saw things that she never wanted to.

There was a lot more electric shock, there was acid, there was solitary confinement for weeks at a time. Carter was shocked when the guard on the wall approached Jack with a syringe.

"This help you. Make to feel good." The guard said in broken English. Jack tried to move away, but he was in too much pain.

The guard stuck the needle in Jack's arm. He felt a warm, calming rush. It was almost instantaneous.

"Whastha?" he slurred. His tongue felt heavy. The guard had drugged him… but with what?

"Make feel good."

Jack rolled his eyes. Oh, hell! He did feel better… what was in that needle?

The Iraqi returned several times in the next few days, giving him this 'feel good' cocktail. Jack started to welcome it. It took the pain away and offered him a few hours of escape. One day, the guard did not show up. Only then did Jack understand this cruel endgame. His muscles began to spasm and cramp. He spent what felt like years balled up in a corner of the cell, sobbing. He was in so much pain. Every time a guard passed, he begged and pleaded for more, but no one came. Just as he was over the worst of the withdrawal, the guard returned. The cycle repeated.

Carter looked at her watch. The SGC should become aware of their predicament any minute now. She hoped to God it would be soon. She could barely stand to see the Colonel like this. He was balled on the floor now, sobbing. Her heart was breaking for him.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

"Sergeant? Has SG-1 reported in yet?" Hammond asked as he entered the control room.

"No, Sir." Sergeant Harriman answered. "Would you like me to dial it up?"

Hammond looked at his watch. They were only 15 minutes overdue, but he knew SG-1's track record.

"Yes, Sergeant."

Walter nodded. The gate spun and the event horizon formed.

Hammond spoke into the microphone. "SG-1, this is General Hammond, do you copy?"

When no one answered, Hammond's heart sank. He couldn't explain how, but he knew that they'd gotten themselves into trouble again. With a sigh, he turned to Walter. "Better send though a MALP."

The Sergeant nodded.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

Daniel looked at his watch again. What was taking Hammond? They were nearly 2 hours overdue now.

Jack let out a particularly anguished moan, and Daniel rushed to the cell's gate.

"Jack!"

The older man did not respond; he didn't even acknowledge Daniel's presence.

"Jack, you're gonna be ok. We'll get you out of here, just hold on, alright?"

Daniel couldn't help but feel like his reassurance fell on deaf ears.

"I don't think he can hear you." Sam said quietly. She was sitting in the corner where the gate met the wall.

Daniel looked at her questioningly.

"Look at his eyes." She said. She sounded like she was holding back tears.

Daniel did as she said. Jack's eyes were staring forward, moving to trace things that weren't there. He looked much like Daniel imagined himself to look when he was implanted with Machello's inventions. To put it bluntly, Jack looked crazy.

Daniel shook the thought out of his head. Jack wasn't crazy; he was just seeing things firsthand. Things that anyone else could only see being flashed on the wall. Daniel did, however, have to agree with Sam's assessment. Jack was too tangled in the memories to have any concept of the real world.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

"Report, Sergeant."

Walter sighed. The General wasn't going to like the news he had. "Sir… there's nothing."

"Nothing?" Hammond asked, frustration obvious in his voice.

"No, Sir. No life forms. There's no sign of SG-1 anywhere in a 2 mile radius of the gate. I've had a UAV prepped, Sir. With your permission?"

Hammond nodded. "Do it."

We don't leave out people behind. Hammond could almost hear Jack O'Neill's voice.

TBC.