3. Someone More Awkward Than Me

Dear Bucky,

I feel like I've been tiptoeing around everyone since I woke up, and they've been tiptoeing around me. It's like some strange dance. But we both know how good at dancing I was-Yes, I know, I wasn't. That's the point. I'm a terrible dancer, and I'm even more terrible at beating around the bush, so I've always just come across as sounding awkward, or blunt, or awkwardly blunt, and I'm doing it again. Seventy years on ice can change the world, but it can't change who I am.

I'm out ten bucks because I bet Fury that I won't see anything new and exciting after everything I went through. The technology SHIELD has is like something out of an HG Wells novel, and I can't really wrap my mind around it. Remember the aircraft carriers they were starting to use when we left for the war? This is like one of those; but it's… flying. In the sky. And it's invisible. Thinking about it makes my brain swim. It also makes my wallet lighter. What was that you used to say: don't gamble with people who know more than you? I lost a few bets to you back in the day.

I did talk with an agent named Phil earlier. We were having a pretty normal, just business conversation until the "It's an honor to meet you" came out. I got fairly used to hearing it on the road and learned to just take it in stride. But then he pulled a typical Steve move, and just kept talking and digging himself in more deeply. "I sort of met you. I watched you while you were sleeping. I was present while you were unconscious from the ice." Poor guy kept tripping over his words, and even though he's this buttoned up agent in a suit, one of Fury's top guys, he just reminded me of the way I used to be. It's refreshing after Fury, who sometimes seems indifferent: like everything that's happening is normal.

I'd like to go have beers with Phil, share stories, talk about the things we've seen. I used to want to just go have beers with Kevin or Bill after a show back in the day. Kevin did sometimes; most times he was too busy writing up reports. Phil and I are, essentially, coworkers, so it would be nice to just knock back a couple drinks. Maybe even become friends. I'm sorely lacking in that department right now.

I'm not sure what Fury's trying to do just yet. I met a couple other people who had me wondering if I was the awkward one, or if the whole situation is just too much. Dr. Banner kept looking around, rubbing his hands, seeming very nervous. But for once it wasn't me who was making him nervous, which was kind of nice. Banner is supposed to help us locate the Tesseract. From what I read he also has other interesting talents, but it makes him uncomfortable to discuss, and really, none of it matters so long as we get the Tesseract from the hostiles. They say he's a genius, but he doesn't seem to want to talk.

And Natasha Romanoff… All I can say about her is she's a redhead and I know how you felt about redheads. I'm trying to remind myself she's part of the team, but she's a dame, and dames bring out the awkward in me. Apparently even more than I bring out the awkward in Phil.

I want more time to get to know these people. I know we threw the Howling Commandos together pretty quickly, but we'd had the march out of Austria to get to know each other, and spent those few days in London. I'd seen what everyone could do. Right now I don't know what anybody does. Banner thinks, apparently. I'm not sure what Phil or Natasha do, but it's something. I know better than to underestimate anyone on Fury's payroll. Still, we're a random group of misfits thrown together and expected to be a team.

I don't know where we're headed next. I don't know if I'll ever meet this Loki, or if we'll even find the cube. I hope we do, because no one seems interested in sitting around to play twenty questions, and it's pretty lonely otherwise. I was literally made to fight.

Oh, did you know that they made Captain America trading cards? Apparently Phil has the complete vintage set. I'm actually interested in seeing them. I hope they got my good side. No comments from you, jerk.

Not the most awkward (for once!),

Steve