Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters therein.

With Edward gone, I felt a little more free. The weight of the issues between us seemed to have lifted somewhat. Not gone, just pushed from the forefront of my mind. I welcomed the independence that his departure allowed me. But independence was far from freedom.

Here in this house, I bore the chains of regret.

I really did love Edward, but his selfish indifference to my needs was tainting our relationship.

Had I made the right choice? I was hating myself for the doubt that was creeping around in the shadows of my thoughts. Did it even matter now?

I was still human, but was that enough for Jacob? Would our friendship still have meant enough for him to overlook everything I had put him through? All of the hurt I caused him would surely have trumped any apology I could offer. How could one recover from treachery as profound as self-deceit?

In the depths of my mind and of my soul and most certainly my heart I knew that I loved Jacob far more than I should. I always had. But to admit that to myself, it meant that my love for Edward wasn't as all consuming as I had sworn to Jacob that it was. It meant that I had been wrong about absolutely everything

The traitorous thoughts were keeping me awake. Outside the clouds parted and silvery moonlight streamed in through my window casting a glow across several planks of the wood floor. My stomach lurched as I stared at the floor. I'd been in bed for a little more than two hours now, desperately willing myself not to cave. But the moonlight was taunting me.

Like a woman possessed I fell to the floor. I slid my hands across a single plank of wood, clawing at one end and shoving the heel of my hand into the other. With little coaxing the board came loose. Setting it aside, I plunged my hands into the space and retreated with a precariously wrapped package.

The wrapping was an oversized t-shirt that smelled woodsy but clean. It was a shirt I'd managed to swipe from Jacob in the months before the fallout. Carefully I laid it down and began to open the bundle. Inside lay a pile of photographs, keys to one of the bikes and the bracelet Jacob had given me for graduation.

This was all that was left of me and Jacob.

A few minutes later I had placed the keys and the pictures in my desk drawer and fastened the bracelet around my wrist. I stood at my bedside and took in a deep breath feeling like I hadn't had one in years. I pulled my ratty t-shirt over my head and quickly replaced it with Jacob's. I took another deep breath. Reveling in the feel of my lungs filled to capacity and the scent of my Jacob in my nose.

I settled myself back into bed. Settling on my side I reached for the wolf on my bracelet, the heart shaped diamond long since removed. Stroking the smooth memento with my thumb, I fell asleep.

The morning came too quickly. I was pulled from my dreams by the trill of the phone. It kept ringing and ringing until finally I decided that Charlie must not be home and the person on the other end of the line wasn't giving up. Wiping the sleep from my eyes I headed to the phone in Charlie's room.

"Hello?" I answered in a sleep coated rasp.

"Bella," Edward's voice sounded tight. "I was just calling to see how you were. Your cell phone goes straight to voicemail. You know I'd really rather you keep it on."

"I'm fine, Edward. Really. I just don't really like the phone. You know that. I'll turn it on if I need to use it."

He chuckled. "You know, for someone who was born into modern times, you really have antiquated thoughts about technology."

"I just don't like the phone. That's all."

"Alright, well are you enjoying your time with Charlie?"

"He is working today, but he mentioned something about maybe having dinner with Billy tonight."

Silence.

And then after the pause Edward's voice was hard and cold as he said, "You're going to La Push?"

"Charlie said something about going to the diner so that I didn't have to worry about cooking." I replied feeling a rising need to defend myself.

"Is Jacob coming too? I'd really rather you didn't spend time with him."

"Honestly, Edward, I don't know," I bit out. "He's a big boy, he can do what he wants. I'm going to be here for almost two more weeks, there is every possibility that I might spend time on the reservation with Charlie. I may even go there alone. I had friends there once," I paused. "If I am wanted there, I won't hesitate."

"Bella, you are my wife and I simply don't like the idea of you spending time with someone who is completely in love with you." He was angry, he left me no doubts of that, but I wasn't going to back down.

"He is, or at least he was my best friend and if I can spend time with him while I'm here I am going to do it. There are no guarantees that I'll get to do that again. Besides, if you had really wanted me to stay away from Jacob, you would have changed me already." I kept my voice low and cold, following his lead. "You can't keep me locked away in some tower, safe from everything you consider a threat to me, but if I were a vampire you wouldn't have to."

Another silence. "I'll leave you be then. I love you, Isabella. Please check in with me soon."

"I love you too, Edward," I said quietly. "Goodbye."

There was a soft click as he cut the connection. I replaced the phone in its cradle and padded back to my bedroom. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my curtains flutter a bit. The window was just slightly ajar. I hadn't remembered it being open the night before. I hurried over and peered out over the yard searching the tree line. But there was nothing there. I shut the window, purposely leaving it unlatched. I was sure that I was inviting trouble, but the possibility of Jacob coming to see me overpowered any bit of self-preservation I had.

Downstairs, Charlie had left me a note asking that I meet him and Billy at the diner around 5:30 for dinner. I had the day completely to myself. I decided to get a load of my laundry done and in the end I did some of Charlie's too. I did some light housework as well before curling up in bed with a book. I ended up falling asleep for several hours.

Rubbing my eyes, I turned towards the alarm clock on the bedside table. 4:45. I stood up and stretched placing the book on the nightstand and Jacob's t-shirt —that I had cuddled up to it while I was reading— I replaced on my pillow. I headed for the bathroom and splashed some water on my face before changing into a heather green tee, a charcoal gray zip up hoodie and my favorite dark wash jeans.

All the way to the diner I had this nervous I-could-possibly-throw-up feeling. Part of it came from the possibility that I could be seeing Jacob in a few short minutes, while the other came from the look and biting comments that Billy was sure to throw my way. Whatever he said though, I knew I deserved, so I took a deep breath and hopped out of the truck. Charlie and Billy were already waiting at Charlie's usual table, but they were alone. Part of me wanted to cry while the other part let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey Bells," Charlie called causing a pang in my chest. I waved and hurried to join them. "I ordered for you already. I just got you what you used to get. I hope that's okay." Charlie continued.

"That's fine dad," I said distractedly, locking eyes with Billy —reflexively bringing my right hand up to touch the wolf on my bracelet. I was trying to read him. Desperate to know something, anything of Jacob. But Billy's eyes were hard with a carefully fix half smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "Hello, Billy. How have you been?"

"I'm still breathing, I don't think I could ask for much more." he said, knowing full well that he was giving absolutely nothing from which to glean any real information. I could tell I wouldn't get anything out of him during this visit.

That night I retired to my room early, telling Charlie that I wasn't feeling well and as I am sure I didn't look well, he didn't press the issue. I spent a few minutes in the bathroom washing my face and brushing my teeth. Once in my room I stripped down to my underwear and pulled Jacob's t-shirt over my head. What would Edward think if he could see me right now? I quickly shook the thought from my head. I climbed under the covers, flicked off the lamp, closed my eyes and held on to my little wolf. Silent and hoping that sleep would drag me under swiftly.

I had several dreams, but I only remembered one. It was simple, but it filled my heart with hope, as it was all I could hope for.

In the dream I rolled over in my bed and Jacob was there. Sitting just halfway down the bed. He stared at me for a moment. His beautiful face causing my breath to quicken and my heart to swell. He opened his mouth to say something and then paused. Finally the words came.

"You stole my shirt." he said quietly, his face neutral.

"Yeah."

"You're wearing the bracelet I made you."

"Yeah," I replied again.

"Go back to sleep honey," he said softly, getting up, kissing my forehead before turning away. "I'll just be over here" he continued, settling into the rocking chair.

My eyes fell closed again and I smiled. And the dream was over.

I awoke the next morning —trying to recall my dreams—stubbornly keeping my eyes closed. I willed myself to sleep some more, desperately wanting to return to that sweet dream. I heard something rustle.

My eyes flew open. A flash of russet skin and jet black hair at the window —halfway out. He turned back and for a split second his onyx eyes locked on my brown ones. The sadness in them assaulting me. Then he jumped.

A/N: I know I am leaving everyone hanging here and the big picture that I have intentions to create and share here is still obscured, but I'll get there, I promise. Its just taking a lot longer than I expected. In my mind at first, I was thinking that I had a good idea for a one shot, but its just exploded since I started typing. Every time I sit down it to continue, it just gets bigger and bigger. Its like the blob. Anyway, please tell me what you think. Are you liking it so far? Are you intrigued? Am I wasting your time? Give me your thoughts. Please be kind; but please, please, please review!