Yang: Alright so now, time for the fathers of JNPR, I'll start with...guys, you were supposed to bring your fathers. Did no-one get the memo? Geez...

Jaune: My family's in Ansel and couldn't make it. And they're not exactly on the grid when it comes to scroll calls.

Pyrrha: Mistral was too far and cell reception there wasn't good enough for a call.

Yang: And you guys?

Nora: Our parents are deeeeaaaad.

Yang: Oh...sorry. So none of you brought your fathers?

Nora: Oh no, we brought our daddy.

Yang: Then...where is he?

Nora: Right...here!

Jaune: Wait, wha-

[Nora pushes Jaune forward]

Yang: ...do you want to explain or something?

Jaune: Yeah, I'd like to know what's going on too at some point. I mean it's not like I'm the leader of this team or anything...

Ren: (sigh) In our defense, we were allowed to bring father figures.

Nora: And Jaune's the team dad!

Yang: ...really? Jaune?

Jaune: Me?

Ren: Pyrrha's already called dibs on team mom. And he does provide good advice.

Pyrrha: And is always being supportive.

Ren: And always looking out for our well-being.

Jaune: Aww, thanks guys, that's-

Nora: Jaune's our daddy!

Yang: ...That wasn't just me, that sounded a little bit wrong, right?

Jaune: Nope, that definitely wasn't just you.

Nora: Jaune makes sure we don't get too much sugar.

Pyrrha: and he always punishes us if we're bad boys and girls.

Ren: and he likes planning our team drills.

Jaune: Okay, guys, that's enough. Please-

Nora: And sometimes he won't stop drilling us as punishment.

Ren: Yes, he'll keep going until we learned our lesson.

Pyrrha: And we let him drill us until we can't go any longer…

Jaune: GUYS!

Pyrrha: Huh, what, did you say something Jaune?

Jaune: I think you broke Yang.

Yang: …

Jaune: Yang, you okay?

Nora: See! Always supportive!

Yang: Yeah, I'm good...So, uh, you knight know what you're doing as team leader, huh?

Jaune: She's fine. Hey Yang, I gotta take my team away, because apparently, we need to talk about the blatant sexual repression going on amongst my teammates, but keep us updated on how the rest of Father's day went. And I need to find an alternative name for team practices other than 'drills' cause I'm never unhearing that again...

Yang: Okay, have fun. But not too much fun, I want to have a building to come back to.

Jaune: Oh shut up.

Nora: What, Jaune, we're not going to be drilled?

Jaune: Not if you keep calling it that-

Yang: Drilling can be dangerous you know. Daddy needs to remember protection.

Pyrrha: Don't worry, we've got enough protection to go all day back at the dorm.

Jaune: Goddammit-

Yang: Come on "Daddy" you've got drilling to-

Jaune: Okay, THAT'S IT! ATTEN-TION!

NPRY: SIR!

Jaune: Good. Pyrrha! Is there anything else we need to do here?

Pyrrha: No sir!

Jaune: Good. Ren! Is there anything you want to visit on the way to the dorm or are you good to just leave?

Ren: I have some tasks to complete, but a meeting is likely more necessary.

Jaune: Very well. NORA!

Nora: YA, GENERAL!

Jaune: What's that in your hands-holy crap. Nora...just...drop the grenade, okay? Dammit Nora, we talked about this. Where did you even keep that...

Nora: Yes sir! *thunk*

Jaune: And Yang…

Yang: Yes daddy?

Jaune: *sigh* Yang, I respect you as woman, warrior, and huntress, but as a friend, please, shut the fuck up until we leave. Now come on everyone, we need a talk. Back at the dorm…

[Jaune walks away]

Ren: Yes daddy.

Pyrrha: I love it when he takes control like this.

Nora: Daddy might give us a spanking.

Yang: ...I am both aroused and confused.

Jaune: ARE YOU ALL COMING OR NOT!

YNPR: YES SIR!

Jaune: Not you Yang!

Yang: Damn...

[NPR follows after Jaune]

Yang: ...Anyway, next up is my dad, Taiyang Xiao Long!

Tai: Yang, I've been here the whole time. And who are you talking to?

Yang: …

Tai: …

Yang: ...

Tai: ...Wait, so that's why you stopped calling me "Daddy" in middle school-

Yang: AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR NOW, THANK YOU FOR WATCHING!


A/N: I was going to update earlier, but life sidetracked me. Anyway, here's the JNPR chapter and I hope you all enjoyed it!