3. Misery

Shadows are fallin' all over town
Another night and these blues got me down
Oh, misery! I sure could use some company
Since he's been gone I ain't been the same
I carry the weight like an old ball and chain
Guess, it's all meant to be for love to cause me misery

"I don't know where it's going but… there's a connection, you know?" John had said, sounding both apologetic and happy. "Like what we had when we first met only…"

"Only she's not right there and a million miles away." Ember had replied dully.

"Exactly." John sighed. "Em, I'm always going to care for you but… But I think I fell out of love with you a long time ago. I'm sorry but… I don't see us getting back together, even if you did ever come back to Newbury."

"I'm not coming back, John." Ember had said instantly, knowing there was no way in hell she'd ever be able to set foot in West Newbury, not so long as he was there, and happy, without her. "I'll send for my stuff when I figure out what I'm going to do."

"Where are you?" He sounded concerned, a little guilty.

"No idea, someplace outside of D.C."

"Just… be careful, Ember, okay?"

"Sure."

"Promise me, Ember."

"I promise."

Oh misery! Oh misery!
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
Seems it's my destiny
For love to cause me misery

Washington D.C., capital to the land of the free and home of the brave. Ember snorted as soon as that thought crossed her mind, a cigarette dangling from her lower lip as she scanned the roadside signs.

Fueled on coffee and Red Bulls, she was still going fairly strong but experience had taught her that when a caffeine crash occurred -and they always did- she would crash and crash hard.

She needed a hotel.

Her conversation with John threatened to replay itself for the umpteenth time, causing her to scowl, her mood matched perfectly by the dreary gray clouds above.

He hadn't been IN love with her for a long time… and yet he had stayed with her, that made no sense.

But it had also gotten her thinking, evaluating her own feelings. She was a realist, definitely not into self-delusion though she had a sinking suspicion that was exactly what she was doing.

Did she love John Cena?

Yes.

Was she in love with John Cena?

That one she couldn't answer so clearly, her heart was screaming 'of course', her mind was throwing up several other answers.

Ember was miserable.

And, oh! I've been down this road before
With a passion that turns into pain
And each time I saw love walk out the door
I swore I'd never get caught again

Dave Bautista watched the club patrons, and he was being paid for it. He was a bouncer at one of the more 'upscale' clubs, upscale in this case meaning that the alcohol wasn't the seriously, brown bag it cheap and the leather seats were actually leather, minus the cigarette burned holes and torn sides.

Two nights ago a woman had come in, she had returned every night since. She always took a seat at the bar, away from the mirrors that hung over the liquor shelves, where she could observe.

According to Doug and Shaylee, the bartenders, she was a bit weird. She would smoke, drink screwdrivers and text on her cell phone. She had been approached a few times by various guys and simply ignored them, acted like they weren't even there, just continued with her cell phone.

Well, there always was a weird one in the bunch, Dave thought as his brown eyes scanned the dance floor; looking for any sign of trouble.

Of course there wasn't. There never was.

With everything appearing to be in order -just once, he would like to see a fight break out, just to give him something to do besides stand there and look intimidating, which he had down pat- Dave headed towards the bar.

"A-"

"Beer, big man, we know." Doug chuckled, shaking his head, already sliding one towards Dave. "Bored?"

Dave just shrugged one massive shoulder, taking a slow swallow from the longneck as he turned so his back was to the bar; leaning against the counter as he looked around.

"Here comes Madame In-Her-Own-World." Shaylee said sarcastically, shaking her head.

He watched from the corner of his eye as the woman in question made her way towards the bar. Her black hair was pulled back into a no-fuss ponytail; face devoid of any make-up, her plain jeans and tank top a bit on the underdressed side.

She immediately went for what was becoming 'her' seat, ordering her screwdriver in a low voice; eyes never leaving the cell phone in her hand.

It was a bit odd, how she had just breezed on by him, most people usually gave him a double take because of his sheer size alone.

Well, as long as she minded her own and didn't cause any problems, he didn't really care what she did while she was here.

But ain't It true? It takes what it takes
And sometimes we get too smart too late
One more heartache for me
Another night of misery

Ember was more than aware of her surroundings, when she first came in at any rate. It wouldn't do to trip or something because she wasn't paying attention. But once she was settled down against the wall, an ashtray and a drink before her, all her focus went onto her Blackberry.

"Alright, I have to ask."

Ember ignored the bartender, though she couldn't help but notice the colored woman was leaning over her, popping gum noisily at that.

"What the hell is it you're doing on there night after night that you completely ignore everything and everyone around you?"

She took a sip of her screwdriver, slowly looking up and turned the screen.

"You're watching soccer?" The woman asked incredulously, her nose wrinkling. "Seriously?"

"World finals."

Oh, oh misery, oh misery
Tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
Oh misery, oh misery
Tell me why, why, why, why, why, why does this
Heart make a fool of me?

She had come into this club each night for three nights, just to drink and watch soccer, Ember figured either she was A) really sad, B) this had been what John meant by she was just… odd or C) both.

She was going with C.

She got so shit faced each night that she was always surprised when she woke up in her own bed at the motel, even more surprised that she managed to even make it out the club door of her own volition.

What was even more embarrassing… Ember actually blushed as she thought about this, keeping her eyes determinedly on the game she was trying to enjoy. She had drunk and dialed… something that was right up there on her 'don't ever do list', along with drinking and driving and driving and texting.

She had drunk dialed John.

He had seemed embarrassed enough for the both of them.

It was one of those moments she wished she couldn't remember, but she did, painfully so.

"I miss you, I'm so sorry! Please John-"

"Ember, you're drunk." John had said firmly, sounding annoyed. "You know if you were sober you'd never do this."

"John, I know what you were talkin' bout, bout me, bout how I act, bout me."

"No, you don't Em. You're so goddamn random, this is what I'm talking about!" He shouted exasperatedly.

Ember recalled flinching when she heard a woman's voice in the background asking if everything was okay, his reply had been 'it's my insane ex-girlfriend'.

"Em, get some sleep." John had said to her when he was done with the woman. "Get some sleep and don't drink anymore, you're unpredictable when you drink. You know that."

But that wasn't totally true, besides the drunk dialing, she hadn't done anything… wild, or bad. Just stumbled down the street to the motel she was booked at and passed out, well… except for the call last night she had made, THEN she had passed out.

Seems it's my destiny
For love to cause misery, oh
Misery, guess it's all meant to be
For love to cause me misery, oh no, yeah

At the end of the night, when things were winding down and Dave was getting ready to go clock out, he noticed something. He had been at the bar, collecting his cash for the night when he had seen it. The 'Soccer' woman was crying.

She wasn't doing it loudly, in fact, if he hadn't even taken a second look, he wouldn't have noticed. But she was, crying silently as she stared down at the counter; tracing a long finger along the rim of her glass.

He was mildly surprised when she looked up at him; noting secondly that her eyes were very glazed over and pink.

"Hey, big man, here's your cut."

He took the money from Doug, leaning towards the other man. "Is she alright?" He murmured, gesturing towards the woman.

Doug glanced at her. "Yeah, she's fine. She'll just teeter on out of here like she always does."

Dave felt mildly alarmed at that. "She just walks out of here? Does she drive?"

"How the hell should I know?"

***

They were discussing her, even though she was drunk, that fact did penetrate her foggy mind. Grunting, Ember slapped down a bill and slid off the stool; her legs doing this funny twist and almost toppling.

After regaining her balance, she headed for the exit, careful to not walk into anything or anyone; feeling rather… self-conscious, something she wasn't used to feeling and quite frankly, she didn't like it one bit.

Who the fuck were these people to judge her? At least she wasn't coming in to hook up with some random stranger and…

"Whoa…" She lost her train of thought when she was outside, the cold night air shocking her, making her dizzy.

"I've got you."

It took her a moment to realize she had fallen backwards; tilting her head back to stare up into a blurry face. "Thanks." She tried moving her legs, to push herself back up from the half laying in the air position she was now in, being supported by a person she could not actually see very well. "What happened to your face?"

"My face?"

"Yeah, I can't see it." She began laughing and crying at the same time, sniffling loudly. "Great, I can't see your face, John! What happened to your goddamn face?!"

Dave just sighed.

Misery