Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just own my emotions.
A/N: WOW... that doesn't even cover it.. I'm just overwhelmed. 8 reviews! weut :) and the next chapter is poems. This chapter refers to a bit more of a "Vampric" fate of Bella's, so whoever asked, there will be some interaction in the next chapter. I'm a junkie for happy endings, and i intend this to be a story with one, But for now, you guys gotta put up with my emoness. If anyone was wondering, I'm at the age of thirteen. lol. i know, pretty young, eh? But thanks for reading... on wif ze story!

If I wasn't so afraid of hurting everyone, I would've dropped out by now.

Given if we think we're mature, we're actually immature in most aspects of our self.

If you carefully look at every single person, or living thing, they all have a childish fear, or something childishly stubborn about you.

Edward, I think his name is. Saying his name in my mind made butterflies in my stomach and my heart pound in my chest. Weird.

As I was saying, I think he's afraid of commitment. He's afraid of finding someone to love. The amount of girls he turns away solves that factor.

As for my fear, I'm afraid of myself. What I could be. I'm afraid of my true being, and anything that has to do with my fate. I'm struggling to find a source to end this miserable life, but I can't not until I find the thing that's bothering me. That feeling of something bigger than anything I stand for.

This feeling of uneasiness, it's bugging the crap out of me.

As I was looking at my arm, I couldn't help but wonder, why I was so white. Was I so conventionally pale, just to become more pale once I found myself? The only answer I had to that pestering question was, I'm white enough, who could be whiter than me?

I wasn't so sure of my answer.

I had this nagging voice in the back of my head saying, "Shut up! And lets things be!", but the masochist I am, I think every bad thing that could possibly happen.

If I so happen to hear about "the end of the world" I think of all the ways the world could end. You could call me a negative junkie, but that's just the way things are for me

If anything bad happens, I blame it myself. It's always my fault. If my dog was hit, it's my fault. If my dad gets sick, I blame it on me. Everything that goes wrong, I take it out on myself.

If someone else buys something they shouldn't have, I blame it on myself for not telling them. I constantly say sorry, but that doesn't make up for the things I've done.

Even if I act the politest I can, everyone still treats me like the shit I am.

I seriously need a break, or a break from everything. And as I said before, the break would come enough. I just had to wait, wait for the time for it to be.

What did ya think? I'm sorry it's so short, but i was cutoff mid sentence in class. (History teachers don't like it when you don't pay attention.. lol) But, i think people will like the next story chapter, because something pivotal will happen. It will have to do greatly with her "fate." Thanks fer the reviews again.