Author's Note: Hey guys first and foremost takes for the reviews. This really isn't my usual style, but the idea popped in my head--I thought about it for a few days and then decided I would give it a try.
I also would like to apologize for not putting a proper warning at the top of the first chapter for the situations that occurred. I really should have, but instead I figured that a mature rating would have been enough.
Lets see…I know that Ziva and Gibbs share the reality that they both slept with someone to get ahead in a case, but that never phased me when I thought about this fic and what I wanted it to be. There's really no reason that Ziva shouldn't show emotion--yes, even crying--she was taken advantage of. She is a trained assassin and sure, Gibbs is "Gibbs", but during the time I am trying to make this take place, she's the newbie--and Gibbs is still giving her hell on and off as he did during episodes of season 3--and really, he's her boss.
Of course I am not trying to say that Ziva isn't a strong person because she is, but I just feel like given the circumstances she is unsure on how to handle what has happened--not to mention Gibbs who is struggling with it as well.
With that said I am open to any ideas or suggestions. I'm kind of on and off with this fic so any help could be very helpful to me. Also, I will try to update as much as I can. I've got work, but classes just started up again today--so ya'll know how that goes.
That's all I have to say for now….so thanks again for the reviews and catch ya'll on the flip side. LATER DAYS--
-Geek.
Chapter 3: Flashbacks
Saw dust flies through the air. Gibbs is hard at work, sanding his boat though his hands are still sore in certain spots. The guts he received from the blade of the knife--the gash he gave himself when he threw a punch and missed--hit a nail in the wall--and blood dripped down.
He rubs the wood and feels its smoothness under his hands. Using his two fingers he runs them in an up and down fashion--then yanks his hand away from his boat as his mind begins to flicker.
"Doesn't that feel good, Gibbs-y?"
"She's close."
A loud crash fills the room as he yanks the top off her bourbon and begins to guzzle the acquired taste hoping that the faster he gets his fix, the easier it will be to find rest before work in the morning--but then his phone rings and he rips the bottle from his lips. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he finds his cell phone and reads the unavailable number that flashes across the screen.
She thinks to enter his house, but being surrounded by his things is something she could do without. Standing tall, she takes a deep breath before pounding on his front door.
Downstairs Gibbs hears a few bangs. Dropping his sandpaper on a part of his boat, he climbs the stairs in four wide steps and exits his basement.
She bangs again; this time harder as a small cloud of smoke forms from her breath filling the frigid night air.
"Ziva." He says her name with a touch of relief and a hint of fear. "What are you doing here?"
"Tony asked me a favor today." She looks quickly past his shoulders, then focuses back at him, but makes sure to keep her eyes focused on his only for a few seconds in-between. "He wanted me to ask you if you used a condom."
His breath catches in his throat as his eyes grow wide.
"He doesn't know. That isn't the point." She feels the coldness starting to nip at her bones through her winter coat. "Abby found your fingerprints on the outside of the package."
"Where did the package come from?"
"You're asking me?" She wants to hit him. "I thought I told you to dispose of any evidence."
"I did--I got rid of the actual condom." His stomach turns as he speaks about this with and to her. "I had no idea anyone would find the wrapper."
"McGee found it. It crunched under his shoe." She shakes her head, then stays still while her eyes remain closed. "You have to tell them a story--make something up. Tell them you fucked someone while being held captive."
He does not move. He does not say anything.
"Don't mention my name."
"I feel it too, Ziva!" He finally say--and louder than he ever intended.
"I'm sure you did."
"You pushed into me--I tried to hold back." He finds himself grasping for any means available that can defend his stance.
"You pushed into me--first." She corrects him. "And you prodded me, first."
"I had no choice. If I didn't do it--what would have happened?"
"So you're proud of what you did?"
"I never said that."
"You implied it!" Her feet are now turning numb from the cold.
"Don't put words in my mouth--Ziva--I'd never be proud of something like that." He can taste the bourbon on his breath.
She can not deal with the situation anymore for the time being. The cold is getting to her and her head is beginning to hurt.
"I need to leave."
He does not want her to go, but he knows she will never agree to stay.
"Don't worry. I'll handle DiNozzo."
"…And the rest of the curious team…" She reminds him before jetting off of his front steps and into her car.
He watches her leave from the open door. He sees her hands shake as they open her car door and she sees the uncertainty in her profile before she drives away.
Slamming the door, he presses himself against the wall and tries to breathe in deeply. Never in his life did he ever expect his guard to be knocked down from him--especially in such a way he was forced to take advantage of a teammate.
The feeling twists his gut in several different directions all at once. He is done drinking for the night. He must find sleep.
Her apartment never felt so unreal to her. Suddenly her things seemed to be a poor excuse for what she left back home. Her lamps were low, her bookshelf full of books she hardly found time to read, and a kitchen she wishes she could cook in more often.
Life as an NCIS Agent seemed to be growing on her until a very recent time--one where she felt parts of her boss during a humiliated experience. Though, she is thankful for the lights that were turned off on them. The last thing she needed was for him to see her face during her release.
Tony stands in front of his Boss while McGee falls back a little from them.
"It's a rule." Gibbs says so matter-of-factly.
"It's a rule to sleep with someone while on a case?" Tony is loving the idea already. "Mind if I try that?"
"There has to be a reason for it, DiNozzo." Gibbs tries to enforce some logical sense into his overly-active teammate.
"…A personal reason or one that has to do with the case?"
Gibbs head-slaps him. "Don't get smart."
"Right boss." Tony turns, but flashes McGee an intoxicated smile.
"So I guess all we have is your blood." McGee's palms begin to sweat when he sees Gibbs' surprised look. "Well--I mean, the blood I found on the floor…yours…"
Gibbs offers his usual smirk, but it isn't an honest one. He hardly find anything to smirk about since the incident.
"Our focus isn't this case anymore." He tells his two Agents as Ziva decides to make an enterance. "You're late." He says to make things seem as normal as always. "Director Shepard's orders."
"We're just going to let a mad man go?"
"No, DiNozzo--we're not." He sighs in annoyance. "But--we're going to lay low…work this case and another."
"I'm not sure I'm cut out of that--"
"Well get used to it!" Gibbs throws a pencil at DiNozzo.
DiNozzo catches the pencil before it hits him in the face. Looking at his boss with a pair of wide-eyes, he begins to wonder if he had said something extremely wrong.
"What's the new case about, boss?" McGee jumps on the opportunity to be Gibbs' right-hand man.
Tony mimics McGee while rolling his eyes. Mcgee hears, but he doesn't bother stooping to Tony's level.
"Dead Marine."
"Where?"
"Inside his garage." He finds his gun and badge inside his desk. "McGee you're with me, Tony--you go with Ziva."
Ziva he grateful she does not need to ride with him, but when McGee and Tony stop searching for their weapons, she begins to worry something is wrong.
"GET MOVING!" Gibbs shouts at DiNozzo and McGee.
"Gladly boss…" Tony clears his throat. "…but don't we usually travel together in a crime scene?"
"Yeah--I was thinking the same thing…'course not counting Ducky and Palmer." McGee adds to better Tony's point.
Gibbs flinches a little at his terrible mistake. His focus isn't what it should be. He is jumping the gun--almost as if he can not tolerate being in such close range with Ziva for a certain amount of time.
"Let's go." He flashes all three of them a look.
"What about Ducky and Palmer?"
"Cell phone, DiNozzo." Gibbs waves his in front of his face.
As they all board the elevator, Gibbs makes sure he is beside McGee--leaving Ziva behind him with Tony.
Ziva considers herself safe. If she comes across distant and her charming partner Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo takes notice, a flirty reply will divert his mind to another subject. If she were to be noticed by her handsome partner Special Agent Timothy McGee, a reassure squeeze of the hand would reassure him that she was just fine.
Gibbs considers himself safe. No matter how he is feeling, it is covered with so many thick layers of caffeine, bourbon, sawdust, and grey that nobody would ever want to use their precious time sifting through it all--and getting to the core of his feelings. Then again, his deep, intimidating stare did wonders for scaring people away from him.
Three Weeks Later
No new evidence has shown up for the case and it bothers Tony because it doesn't seem to bother Gibbs. He knows his boss would want to kill the bastard who nearly killed him and one of his Agents.
"Gibbs is acting strange." Tony breaks the silence amongst his two teammates.
"How so?" McGee asks, but continues to look at his computer screen.
"I don't know--he seems withdrawn." He looks at Ziva who is lost in her own world while sitting at her desk. "…Maybe it's a coffee withdrawl or something."
"He hasn't not bought a cup of coffee." McGee can't see that being a reason.
"Maybe he switched to decaf?"
"Do you really think he would be taking everything so well if he had?"
"Good point, Probie." Tony's eyes linger on her. "Ziva--any idea?"
"No." She snaps out of her world just that quick.
"That was awfully fast."
"I like fast." She throws a coy look his way.
"Oh…" He wiggles his eyebrows at her. "Have we been a naughty girl, Agent David?"
Gibbs catches the end of the coversation--and knocks Tony so painfully hard in the back of his head.
"Don't ever let me hear you asking her or anyone else in this building a question like that again--you got it, DiNozzo?"
"I don't see how I couldn't." He says while rubbing the back of his head.
"That wasn't needed, Gibbs." Ziva voices her opinion. "I like it when we play."
McGee feels his nervous stomach kicking into second gear at her comment. Tony lets his mouth fall open as he waits for what Gibbs will do or say next.
"That sort of talk isn't allowed in a Federal building." He stands right where he is.
"What is allowed?" She is taking a stab at him--because it feels good to put him on the spot.
"Read the rule book."
"Already have." She informs him. "There's a lot to be said for those rules…it's a shame yours never made it to paper."
He takes a long sip of his scolding hot coffee as his blue eyes burn straight through hers.
McGee is near the forth level of nervousness when Tony chuckles nervously to break whatever moment two of his teammates are having.
"In my office, Officer David."
"Gladly, Agent Gibbs."
The emergency button is flicked and the elevator is still.
"You going to give me this sort of treatment whenever you see fit?" He is the first to say anything. "Because I could do without your sarcasm."
"Apparently anything of mine that doesn't get you off isn't worthy of your time."
"You didn't get me off!" He inhales with a shaky breath. "I…you…we…"
"I do not understand." Her sarcasm is still fresh.
"I'm guilty. I already know of my mistakes--and I'm trying my very best to try and find out just what it is you want from me." He is amazed he is finding all of these words to say completely at once. "What do you want me to do?"
"Me." She is taking a chance at a twisted joke. "Right here--in this elevator. Go ahead, do it Gibbs. Fuck me."
He feels the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
"I can flip my phone. We can pretend like we're being watched again." She steps closer to him. "Your choice." She looks around his face, waiting for him to say something, but he can not find anything to say to stop her. "Now I know--you want to be alone, just us. You want the control. You want to have your way with me then march straight out of here as if you haven't done anything wrong. You Americans--all about your fucking perfect image!"
He hears her teasing him and taunting him none stop until he can no longer take it. Sharply turning around he flicks the emergency switch off and storms out of the elevator in need of a change in air.
He feels his insides buzzing.
He hasn't a clue on how to handle this.
