Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. I'd do such dirty dirty things to it...hehe...
Title: To Tattoo, or Not To Tattoo
Shirtless and attempting to control the tickling of Rukia's index finger poking his inky lines, Renji boasted his position once more. "I'm telling ya, Rukia. Tattoos are sexy."
She didn't look much convinced, but rather innocently curious. "Hmm…Sexy? Really?" she questioned idly.
"Hell yeah." Renji proclaimed proudly.
Ichigo, not the slightest bit perturbed by Rukia prodding a half naked man in the middle of his room, only looked up from his homework to throw a jab at the redhead. "So you thought covering half your body in them would finally get you a girlfriend?"
"Shut up Ichigo." Renji glared before nodding down at the snickering Rukia. "Come on man, you can't tell me Rukia shouldn't get one."
"Don't include me in your tattoo fetish." Ichigo said turning back to his homework.
"It's not a fetish it's a fact!"
Rukia eventually sat back on Ichigo's bed and quirked her head to the side, scrutinizing the extent of Renji's non-fetish. "I think it's a bit unreasonable to put your body through such senseless pain for something as shallow as pure aesthetic."
Renji's face scrunched in annoyed objection. "The pain is what makes it worthwhile!" He argued enthusiastically. "Like how every scar of a battle is worn with pride, a tattoo can stand for the same." He pointed to his funny eyebrows. "See, these are from my first exams," then he moved to his arms, "these were when I got into the squads," then awkwardly behind his back, "This one's from getting promoted—"
"Oh." Rukia motioned with a smirk. "And here I thought you were just trying to cover up your receding hairline."
"It's not receding! It's shaved!" Renji flared as Ichigo got distracted from his work once again and started laughing into his text.
"Now you sound like Ikkaku." Ichigo snorted in amusement.
"Dammit." Renji huffed and roughly threw his shirt back on. "The point is that tattoos are freaking awesome and you should get one."
Rukia crossed her arms and crinkled her nose. "You want me to scrawl lines all over myself?"
"No, you don't have to get the same thing as me. You gotta do something personal."
"Like Chappy?" She chirped.
Another snort came from Ichigo's textbook.
Renji scratched his ponytail hesitantly. "Uh, no…not like Chappy. Like, like a snowflake or something."
"A snowflake?"
"Cause yer zanpakuto." He reasoned. "Or maybe the moon. That kinda plays on the rabbit thing too."
Rukia frowned in thought. "I'd think that would just look like a white circle."
"Oh! I know!" Renji raised his finger in excitement as it struck him. "You could get a hell butterfly. It shows off your pride as a shinigami, but it's still girly, and definitely sexy."
Ichigo turned completely away from his desk scowling. "Hell butterflies aren't girly…"
Renji threw him a shrewd look. "Hell yeah they are. There ain't a girlier bug out there."
"There's a ladybug." Rukia offered, holding back a smirk.
"You're not helping!" Ichigo growled as Renji suddenly stood up.
"Well speaking of girly butterflies, I forgot to order Rikichi to tend to them." He crouched in the window before giving Rukia a pointed look. "Think about what I said." Renji hopped out, not noticing the awkward silence between the two left in the room.
…
"So…" Rukia said finally, her chest shaking with contained laughter. "Renji agrees that hell butterflies are girly…I told yo—"
"Don't even!" Ichigo rushed out of his seat and threw open his desk looking for a mirror. "What the hell else was I supposed to get?" He argued as he rifled through the drawers. "You had it easy, just getting a stupid strawberry. Your name doesn't exactly translate into a tattoo."
Rukia hopped on the desk, pointing her foot towards the drawer he was looking for before crossing her legs. "You could have used the shinigami emblem instead. I still think 'Death and Strawberry' makes more sense than 'Butterfly and Strawberry'.
Ichigo snorted as he slapped her foot away and found what he was looking for. He pushed the mirror in her hands, turned around, and dropped his pants. "Like I'm gonna give my ass the power to pop a soul out of a body."
AN: Okay, maybe this one is my favorite! XD I hope people get it, but even if they don't, it still cracks me up! I hope you enjoy, and thank you for reviewing these one-shots!
