He was dreaming. Anger burned through his veins; a hatred that could not be quenched. He roared and screamed and raged against the world that had used him, betrayed him, over and over and over. The wretched world that had torn everything he loved to pieces.

The hate and darkness was comforting. He wasn't alone- an unseen force granted him the power to act on their shared desires. To destroy the world that had cursed them so. Lambda was full of rage, but it was Richard who gave them a target for that anger- directed their sense of powerlessness and grief into something worthwhile. Into blood- stained upon their hands.

The feelings devoured him, drowning him in an endless sea that he didn't want to wake up from. But then someone called out to him. There was a vision of blue eyes; of a friend with an outstretched hand. Love and desperation for him; reflecting in someone else's eyes-

And he wanted- they wanted-

Then the eyes shifted, morphing into a young man whose gray eyes were filled with hate. He mouthed something, and Richard clasped his hands over his ears.

But whispering into his ears and soul, the voice that spoke to him was his own.

"Monster."


Richard woke, his scream of denial faltering into a gasp. Sweat beaded his brow, and his hands clutched at the cloak that had been draped carefully over him. He breathed; counted the seconds. Outside, he could see sopheria gardens; hear the sound of the bustling town waking up. Reminding him that he was safe.

At first, he was disoriented. Asbel's study was not his bedroom in Barona, and his body ached from a night spent curled up on a window seat. But as his memories filtered in, Richard shot awake and glanced around.

He was alone. Lambda was gone.

He didn't know why he felt disappointed. If nothing else, last night had been a reminder that things between them were… strained. In the light of day, their little conversation was like a distant memory. Something best left in the past. He shook it off, like he did his nightmares, time and time again.

Frederic reported that Asbel and Sophie weren't able to return that day either. That was normal enough- tracking down nova monsters could take days, maybe even weeks. And without access to the shuttle, it would take much longer for the Lord of Lhant to return home.

He stayed busy, distracting himself. After all, if he paused, the nightmares and dark thoughts returned. So he spent his time snooping around Lhant- talking to its people, enjoying the peaceful respite of the town. Pretending, just for a moment, that everything was as it should be.

In the evening, he toured the markets with Lady Kerri. The Lhant matriarch had requested him to escort her, and as a gentleman, he wasn't going to turn Asbel's mother down. The older woman seemed enamored by her esteemed guest- few people of high prestige visited Lhant, after all. She maintained a strict, maternal tone talking to him. Richard had never known his own mother, so the entire experience was new and yet, not unwelcome.

While they were heading back to Lhant manor, Richard saw Lady Kerri come to a brief stop. A small frown pulled on her face. He followed her gaze, trained towards the windmill towering over the Lhant town center.

And up above, the familiar figure of a small, humanoid child sat, legs dangling from the top of Lord Windgarde.

"You look almost like he does."

Lady Kerri's voice caught him unawares. She watched him with the saddest smile, the kindness in her eyes too hard to swallow. If he was in Barona, if he was king- he would have dismissed her with a polite laugh. But he hesitated.

"I apologize, Lady Kerri," he began, only to pause, surprised by the brusqueness in his own voice. The memory of a small humanoid the night before, curled up by his side, flashed through his thoughts.

Lady Kerri shook her head with a sigh. "You're worried about him." Her voice lowered. "We all are."

"What… happened to him?" Richard asked. In the letters Asbel had written, Lambda had been happy, as much as the lord could guess. Not secluding himself, with a heavy weight in his eyes.

Kerri measured him. "Are you sure you wish to know?"

Richard hesitated. He didn't come to Lhant to meddle in Lambda's affairs, but he remembered how cold the night had been. How small, inhuman hands had fastened his cloak around him with care.

He nodded.

Kerri shook her head. "I had hoped I wouldn't be the one to tell you," she murmured. With a deep breath, she looked up. "Lambda… attacked someone. A child."

The world suddenly stilled. His heart pounded heavily in his chest.

"They had some sort of altercation- right at the landing, there." She nodded towards where Lambda was sitting. "Sophie said he almost threw the child off the ledge."

"Almost?"

"She stopped him," Kerri explained. "If not for her, I dare not think what would have happened."

Richard turned towards the windmill. Towards Lambda, who was staring out into the distance. If the humanoid had noticed him, he showed no sign.

"Your Majesty-" Kerri began.

Richard shook his head. "I'll join you shortly, Lady Kerri."

Kerri frowned, but she made no move to stop him. Instead, she dipped into a curtsy before moving off, her quiet steps fading off down the road to the manor as he walked towards Lambda. A part of him wished to turn back, but something else urged him forward.

Taking a deep breath, he gripped the ladder in his hands and began climbing.


A slight breeze brushed his cheek as he reached the landing. The dull light of the sunset drenched the wooden panels with a warm orange glow. This high above the town, none of his problems were in sight- save for the one that sat before him.

Lambda had not moved an inch, not even to acknowledge his presence. The humanoid faced the sunset, his small back the only dark in the entirety of Richard's vision.

Richard wasn't sure what he expected. But there was a burning inside his heart that had brought him here.

"Go away."

The command was quiet, almost lost in the wind. Lambda had not turned, but there was no mistaking the solemn words.

Richard's grip tightened. He moved towards Lambda; tried to ignore the fear eating in his gut. There was no way Richard could ever forget that who he dealt with was no harmless child.

The humanoid kept a steadfast gaze out towards the countryside. "It was not a request."

"Will you force me to leave, then?" Richard asked, voice tight. "Throw me off this ledge?"

Lambda spun to him. For a split-second, he caught a distraught spark in Lambda's eyes. A chill ran down the king's spine.

The humanoid breathed and lowered his gaze to Richard's feet. His face returned to a smooth calm, but his hands trembled as he gripped the railing.

In a faint voice, Lambda murmured, "You know."

Richard swallowed. "Lady Kerri told me."

The humanoid's fingers dug into the wood. "That was none of her business," he shot back, "nor yours."

Richard ignored the way his stomach twisted. "Why, because I'm not Asbel?"

Lambda froze.

"What were you thinking, Lambda?" Richard asked. "After everything we've been through- after everything Asbel has done for you-"

"What would you know?" Lambda's voice was soft, but it cut through the air like a knife. In the shadow of the setting sun, Lambda looked more monstrous than child.

Richard stammered, "I don't- but you wouldn't trust me enough to tell me, would you?"

"As you would trust me with yours?" He turned on Richard. His face was emotionless, save for the dangerous glint in his eyes. "Ever the hypocrite, Richard."

Richard stiffened. "I have no idea what you're talking about-"

"So you came to Lhant for a tea call then." Lambda snorted. His eyes narrowed. "As I said before, I am no fool."

"It's none of your business-" Richard began.

"Neither am I one of yours. Not anymore."

Richard glared at him. "I just want to help!"

Lambda snorted. "There's nothing to help," he remarked. "A boy thought it amusing to throw a cat off this ledge. I thought it amusing if I did the same to him."

"That's-" Richard swallowed. "You know that's not right."

Lambda glanced at him. "He would have killed her."

"And you tried to throw him off the ledge." Richard couldn't hide the incredulity in his voice.

Lambda grit his teeth. "People who disregard life are nothing more than monsters." Quietly, he murmured, "I thought you would have understood."

"Understood?" Richard gaped. "Are you even listening to yourself?" He clenched his fists even as Lambda turned away from him. "You would have killed him!"

"Would you rather I be regretful?" His voice was soft and light. False. "That I yearn to change from the monster that I am?"

That stole the wind from Richard's sails.

"You're not a monster," he whispered. "When we met, you were powerful, but I remember how frightened you were," he sighed. "I- I was the one who convinced you of the innate evil in humanity. I wanted to watch Cedric suffer; I reaffirmed all our deepest fears and doubts."

"And I had no part in it? I did not delight in watching Protos Heis suffer, did not try to kill everyone in my way?"

Richard hesitated.

"It wasn't your fault-"

"How selfish can you be!?"

The words ripped through Lambda's body. He turned on Richard, red eyes blazing.

"Do you seek to forget your troubles by 'helping' me?" he snarled. "Or does my existence trouble you because it reminds you of your weakness? I hurt you- destroyed you- and yet you wish to pretend that it was the reverse!"

In that moment, reason abandoned him. Striding forward, he seized hold of Lambda's shoulders, tried to get the creature to see- "I'm trying to help you because I thought we were friends!"

Lambda's eyes softened. A glimpse of sorrow.

Then Lambda struck his hands aside. "You cannot help me. You cannot even help yourself. Is that not why you came to Lhant? For Asbel to solve your problems?"

Words leapt to his tongue, but under Lambda's gaze, his retorts sounded pathetically weak. "That's true," he admitted. "I'm a coward, and a horrible person. But Asbel isn't here." He fixed the humanoid with his full attention. "You are."

Lambda froze.

Then he hurled himself at the king, slammed him to the floorboards of the landing. Tiny hands grabbed at the nape of his cloak, pulled their faces so close they almost touched. Staring into those red eyes, Richard's throat dried. All the emotion in them drew him into a familiar whirlpool- drowning and consuming-

He flinched.

The weight around his neck disappeared. Lambda pulled back, his hands dropping to the side. But what caught Richard off-guard was the expression on his face.

Guilt. Fear. Self-loathing.

"You see?" Lambda whispered. "We're both too much alike."

Richard dipped his head. He wanted to help Lambda- but-

"Stay away from me." Lambda's words were soft, breathless. The air felt thick, the eleth swirling into a dark mist around the humanoid. "I don't want to hurt you. Not again."

Before Richard could stop him, he moved. He slipped away, out of his view and down the ladder, before the king even got to his feet.

Richard was left alone on the landing. As the seconds ticked by, his breathing calmed, and the adrenaline that had ran through his body subsided. But the image of Lambda, hands around his neck, was burned into his mind's eye.

He shivered as the evening breeze blew past him, but he did not draw his cloak close.